You are Aster. But you are also Vander.
Am I nothing but a monster?
A real monster wouldn't have evil in their hearts. To us, you possess a special power no one could ever imagine was real.
What power? Everyone says I'm nothing but useless trash.
Because you also have those same thoughts in my world. Thoughts of doubt and lack of self-worth due to humanity's hubris. Greed and pride were only in their minds. So they are too ignorant of your true potential.
Then why... Why do you think I'm special in your eyes? There's nothing special about me. I'm nothing.
But you are. You exist, but at the same time, you don't. A persona that also exists within you, but doesn't.
Why do you think your second personality exists? Trauma? The never-ending misery of your family?
Whatever the reason behind it, another you will exist. And that "you" will always be the persona that cannot exist in your world.
The persona...cannot exist in my world?
Don't you realize the gaps in your memory? How inconsistent was your past?
Aster exists in both worlds and so does Vander. One who exists and another who cannot.
You're the anomaly that bridges the old and Monochroma.
...
I'm...the anomaly?
Fufu... So I am a monster. How can someone like me even exist at all?
And therein lies the problem. The seeds of your so-called caretakers have already grown out of control. You couldn't think anything but negativity to yourself. That's what they wanted you to do. Kill yourself so they could gain the benefits of your death.
A sin cannot be undone by forgiveness and atonement.
It's for this reason that you must be the one who must weed out the doubts in your heart to complete the rebirth process.
My doubts... Are they really that bad?
Enough to cloud your mind from logic and empathy for others. Even with the price you're willing to sacrifice for a new life, you possess great ambitions that not even my deal cannot take.
You have the power to change not only yourself. But the worlds around you.
So I ask again:
Would you give up your normal life to become the shadow who will change the world?
A shadow...
Heh... Sounds like a big joke. But it sounds like a good deal.
Everything has gone into shit the moment I exist in this world. I don't care if I don't exist or trash to everyone. The lies everyone gave me and how they never saw my worth for everyone...
I'm done running.
Then you must have already known where it is right now.
...Yeah. I do.
ROOOOAAAAARRRR!!!
Crap... I didn't expect how load the chimera was. I'm surprised we were still standing after enduring all of the smaller demons' barrage. But at this rate, we won't be able to defend Vander from them for too long. Most of the vines Val summoned had cut away and Thurkith's blade was starting to get dull. We won't be able to last long unless Vander wakes up from his brief trip into his inner world.
"Anything from the young master?!" Thurkith yelled as he pushed the demons away with his bare hands. "We can't keep this up for much longer!"
"We're almost at our limit and we'll be out of mana before we can get to that monster!" Val added. "And you know, we already ran out of crystals after replenishing them from our travels!"
I looked at Vander again, yet there were no signs of response other than his breathing. "Still nothing. But I'm aware our defenses won't keep up and we can't trust him to stay unconscious any longer." I flinched as a rock almost hit me and the young master. "But we might as well be patient. I know he will go back to save us with his hidden power."
"Are you sure? Because I feel like you're grasping straws here."
I sighed, knowing it wouldn't be easy. But I couldn't stay a cynic for long. "Because the former Master brought him to our world for a reason. A way to restore the balance between the demonic and the light. I know he will come to clean the corruption of not only our world, but the world that his other self belonged to."
Why did you believe them?
Because I feel like it's a step closer to the truth.
What truth? Why are you still insisting that the lies that the woman gave you were the "truth"?!
Because everything I saw, everything I heard... I felt a bit of nostalgia without the worse memories overwhelmed me. The family who neglected and bullied me... The bullies who would never leave me alone... They were nothing like the good and strange memories I had with Umbaria and Vander. I never drove myself into loneliness and never complained about my life whenever they were around... I didn't even bother thinking of ending my life...
But you have a reason to do it! Those people will never leave you alone and have a happy life! Why do you keep trusting that bitch and the lying boy?!
Is there supposed to be a justified reason behind it? Because they were my first friends who never gave up on me!
They kept encouraging me, defended me from their hurtful remarks about me, and gave me a reason to live!
Whenever I think about them, I never frown or think about those dreaded memories. Their memories alone made me stronger!
But then, you came along and gave me those horrible thoughts of suicide and nightmares! You even let me forget their names and faces so I have to keep living those false memories along with my family and friends!
I told you! They are liars! Scammers who will take advantage of you no matter what! You have no real friends and not even your evil copy will let you live as yourself! He will take everything so he can live as you!
"And who says I'm taking his body without his permission?"
Before I could react, a hand suddenly reached into my chest. I took a closer look and to my shock...
I saw my own face.
"Sorry I'm late, Aster," he smiled. "I didn't expect this bastard to keep on spouting nonsense to make you bow."
So he's my mystery playmate alongside Umbaria... The very same boy who gave me encouraging words to move forward...
The other me... Vander...
"I-I'm sorry... I thought I could restore everything by myself..." I muttered. "But..."
"Stop it with the apologies, Aster. I already told you that if you want to be brave, then you can't say sorry for everything. Otherwise..."
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"I will be apologizing to the wrong people. Right..." I took a deep breath while keeping my hands away from my chest. "I'm done with this daydream. It's time to finish this, me."
Vander nodded. "Then let's hurry. We're running on borrowed time anyway."
Before I knew it, I felt a sharp pain in my chest just as he yanked his hand out of my chest.
I gasped as I opened my eyes and got up. I could still feel the aching pain in my chest, but that experience felt so real to me...
"Oh, looks like you're awake." I turned around and to my surprise, Vander was standing right next to me crouching on my level. "Sorry about your chest, partner. But I had no other way to stop those troublesome voices from influencing you further. But now that I'm here, it's time to end this."
He smiled at me as if there wasn't any problem, not knowing that I saw a knife in his right hand. Although, I'm not in the mood to ask about it right now. Rather, I'm curious about another man being bound by chains right next to Umbaria. I could tell from his growl and gritted teeth how he didn't like to be here with us. I barely knew who was this doppelganger copying our faces, but I had a hint of familiarity to know who he was.
"You shouldn't be here," the man muttered. "How are you still able to wrap your fingers around him?! Y-You two are nothing but devils...! Devils who will corrupt his innocent soul with your devious temptations!"
"Stop it, you wannabe cricket. It's over. Your damned lies and manipulations won't work on him anymore," Vander declared. "All you're spouting out is nothing but pure nonsense. They're nothing more than remnants of the otherworlders' memories that didn't belong to him in the first place."
"Remnants?! You two are the real fake ones around here! You're the demons who threw him astray with your nonsensical freedom and desires bullshit! He's supposed to be a pure-hearted chosen one! The young child who will guide us to the true light!"
"Ala~ I don't recall that's your intention in driving the poor boy to his own death. Especially to the one who was berated to be a trash and useless boy in his family's eyes," Umbaria spoke up. "And now that I think about it, you didn't mention your true intentions behind your role as his false conscience."
The man growled. "What the hell are you on about, demon?!"
"I mean that we thought you're the byproduct of those false memories during the rebirth process. At least that's what Missy would say," Vander answered. "But now that we took a closer look at you, it seemed you're more than a manifestation of his guilt and self-doubt."
More than a what? I'm too confused by all of this. False memories of my old world... My contradicting memories of another... It doesn't make any sense at all!
"Aster, do you remember when you first came into our world? Do you recall that very memory created from your false ones?" Umbaria asked while staring into my eyes. "You've been gathered in a white space by the God of Light where they gave all of you "powers". But you also recall an interruption when it was your turn. Do you remember?"
Yeah... I remembered. There were strange voices and prompts when it was my turn to be judged. Something about "breaking" the status quo of Monochroma. I still recall those words in that window prompt.
[If you choose this route, you may become the enemy of the light. You cannot create bonds of your former self very easily if you walk this path.]
Now that I think about it, everything it said didn't make sense. How could I be unable to create bonds with my former self when I already made a bond in the first place?
No... It's not a miswording. I understood what it meant.
"My former self...is you, isn't it, Vander?"
He smiled at me and nodded. "And you are mine, Aster. In my mind, there is no such thing as that prompt. If anything, something is interfering with the process, and tried to sever it with the wording on their end." He waved his hand at the words I imagined. "This is what I have."
[If you choose this route, you may become the enemy of the light. You cannot create bonds of your kind self very easily if you walk this path.]
Crap... So the false memory affected him, too?!
"Your "former" self is who I am: A bright boy with many aspirations, only to be weighed down by the negative pressure brought by your family and tormentors. My "kind" self is who you are: A boy who wasn't afflicted by the cruelty and bias of the corrupted. That bastard did everything to break us apart during the process and for some reason, it almost worked. If it wasn't for Umbaria's intervention, I wouldn't be here in the first place. But if we truly wish for peace within ourselves, then we need to expel the source of this damn nonsense once and for all!"
"Lies... All LIES!!!" The man screamed with his voice filled with desperation. "You're all making nonsense, not me! You're all demons! Demons! You're already corrupted! There is no choice but to kill yourself before it's too late!"
"SHUT. UP."
That's all I could say to that so-called conscience. I walked up to him without looking at my own face he made to impersonate a part of myself.
"W-What the hell are you saying?! You are nothing! You are..."
"A demon, is that what you said? You're right about that. But you're wrong on all accounts. I wasn't corrupted or useless or anything my so-called family and bullies said. No matter what I say or do, they will do anything to stifle my freedom and my drive to become anything I want. You're the same as them, treating me like trash to the point ending my life is the only salvation for you! I'm done listening to you. I'm done listening to everyone who threatened my dreams!"
[Conversion rate: 98%]
"Wait... How did that dagger get into your hand?! I didn't see that brat giving it to... Hold on! Where is that other brat?!"
I... No, we quickly raised the blade to my self-doubts.
"This is my heart! My soul! Our individuality! You are not welcome in my desires anymore!"
[Synchronization rate: 100%]
[You are now in sync with your minds.]
STAB!!!
Just like that, I plunged the dagger into the man's heart. I could feel the warm blood running into my hands. But I couldn't back down. This is our resolution! Our true path!
"N-No! Don't do this! I-I don't want to die! S-Stop..."
"The boy has made his decision. You have no power over them anymore. The only mercy you have now is your mere existence as an entity that only served to bring them to ruin," Umbaria said with venom in her voice. "So why don't you shut up and die like the God of Lights' ungrateful hypocrites."
STAB!!!
"P-Please... Stop... H-Help..."
STAB!!!
I didn't want to listen to him any longer. I kept stabbing and stabbing and stabbing...
Until his body stopped moving and dissolved like sand in the hourglass. I gasped as I removed the blade from his chest.
It's over. My nightmare...was...
No... Our nightmare is over. We're finally free... From the torments, the pain, the suffering...
We're free and we can live our own lives.
"It seemed like you've made a surprising change within you, not just your body alone." I turned around and saw Umbaria smiling at us. "While I shouldn't intervene for much longer, I shall reward you with my gift that should be enough to quell the chaos that was happening back in reality. However, there is still one more choice you need to face."
I sighed. "I know what you're trying to say, boss. Or rather, should I call you "Goddess"?"
She chuckled the moment I turned to her. "Whatever it is you call me doesn't matter. While I still see you as my chosen, formalities aren't my favorites."
I also chuckled with a shrug on my shoulders. "Doesn't matter to us. You're still the same bossy gal we met. I just need to confirm some stuff before I make my decision."
"That you're still a kid in reality and every false memory within you is purged out of your mind? I already took care of it hours ago. However, this is your final chance to turn back." A paper suddenly appeared out of nowhere, showing a crude version of a familiar document with those words from my memories.
CONTRACT
In exchange for my current identity, I, Aster, will inherit the shop from Umbaria. I promise to take care of this shop for Umbaria's sake.
"The moment your name is etched within this line, it cannot be erased forever and you will never go back to the life you have. Your real name, your personality, and your existence in this world... It will never be the same and you cannot escape the changing revelations from your newfound demon within you. Even so, do you still accept my offer?"
...
There is no more voice to drive me away from this deal. No thoughts to bring me into indecision.
"We already made it a long time ago."
I picked up a pen (crayon) from the table and started writing my name.
Aster & Vander
"Goodbye, our miserable humanity."
[Conversion rate: 100%]
[You have sealed the contract.]
[You have completed your true rebirth.]
[As a reward, you have given a temporary buff, [Gift of Umbaria].]
[You have gained a title, [Conqueror of Despair].]
...
[Because you have maxed your stats, you have activated [True Self].]
Those damned voices... It's been a while since I heard and saw those strange tablets. Or rather, I think they call them "windows".
Still, I feel like we don't deserve this new power. What am I supposed to do with it?
Y-YoU...
Huh? That distorted voice...
W-Wh@7 tHE h3LL am 1 s3nSinG?! D-DaRK 3nergy... A-And i7s hug3!
Who tH3 HELL @R3 Y0U?!?!
Oh, yeah. I remember now.
We're supposed to kill that chimeric bastard.
I guess this is our final test, right, Umbaria?