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DAY 2. MOVING ON

  DamageCritical[133-993-7490], Winchester[133-607-2584]

  [4:39 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Forgive me for the bother Miss Rose, but I want your input on something

  [4:40 P.M.] Winchester

  


  ? I love giving input. What’s the deal “Mister Washington”

  [4:40 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  I’m thinking a lot about how this game’s eliminations are going down

  On the assumption that “elimination” doesn’t mean they’re just killing us. I’d dare to hope we’re not in a Squid Game scenario.

  But anyways, it’s just on my mind because one elimination per day is a breakneck pace for even the most ruthless elimination game show. It’s going to go by faster than we can follow what’s happening

  And we only have six more days until it starts. I don’t want to sound alarmist, but all hell is going to break loose once the first flies drop.

  So I just want to make sure my ducks are in a row before we’re all thrown into the wolf pit

  Because there’s no way to predict how we might start turning on each other depending how we get eliminated

  So that’s what I’m thinking about. The eliminations.

  [4:44 P.M.] Winchester

  


  Oh jeez wall of text

  Okay give me a sec my group chat’s being stupid again

  [4:45 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Apologies, I’m a typer

  [4:45 P.M.] Winchester

  


  YEAH DUH

  [4:45 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  I did say to forgive me...

  [4:47 P.M.] Winchester

  


  Don’t worry you’re forgiven

  So what was it that alert yesterday said specifically about eliminations? I just remember something about it being random

  [4:48 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  I would have wrote it down if I wasn’t so freaked out waking up in a room I couldn’t escape with no memories… and now all of yesterday’s messages are deleted

  But luckily my memory is intact.

  It said that we would be eliminated by a randomly picked criteria related to our activities during the day

  So ask me whatever the hell that means in practice

  [4:49 P.M.] Winchester

  


  Huh

  What the hell does that mean in practice?

  [4:49 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Good question! What does “criteria” even mean in relation to our activities during the day?

  [4:49 P.M.] Winchester

  


  I have zero clue, Washington, what DOES it mean ?!

  [4:52 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  You’re asking all the right questions today. Well, the wording of the message was so vague that it’s hard to even guess

  It’s possible the “criteria” we’re being graded on is on a “last to do this or figure this out” kind of basis

  But I found that a little inconvenient for a game where eliminations are daily and there’s 145 people doing a million different things

  Unless there’s some surprise in store, never discount that

  [4:53 P.M.] Winchester

  


  I read “criteria” and thought they would get me for drinking too much water or something

  [4:53 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  And you’re hitting another irritating possibility. Because it’s equally possible the elimination criteria just means “did this the most or the least”

  And if that’s the case, what are we being judged on? Am I wrong for thinking something like “drinking the most water” is too trivial for this kind of experiment?

  Because that sounds like you’re just randomly choosing winners and losers

  There has to be some deeper tactic. We can’t just be doing something this long and intensive for fun.

  [4:58 P.M.] Winchester

  


  I don’t think we can game that out until there’s some idea of what the game masters intentions are

  The question I would ask isn’t “What are they going to do to us”, it’s “What do they want from us?”

  [4:59 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  That is an excellent question, Rose

  I think you just hit the nail on the head better than I could’ve

  [4:59 P.M.] Winchester

  


  See? I can be thoughtful. Who says I can’t be?

  [5:00 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  I would… have to assume no one

  [5:05 P.M.] Winchester

  


  Nobody wants to ask me the complicated questions about what we’re up against, it’s always “Hey Rose what are you eating”, “Hey Rose how does ass taste,” “Hey Rose have you found the porn channel on your TV yet”, or “Hey Rose who’s Steve Jobs”

  [5:05 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Why would they ask who Steve Jobs is?

  [5:06 P.M.] Winchester

  


  It’s a stupid fucking joke that they keep doing incorrectly

  Don’t ask

  [5:06 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  But I already did…

  [5:06 P.M.] Winchester

  


  And I’m telling you, no

  When a woman tells you no, she means it

  [5:07 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Oh

  Well I wasn’t going there, but alright…

  I’ll take your word at face value

  [5:16 P.M.] Winchester

  


  Hey Washington do you know what double docking is

  [5:17 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Is that some kind of tech jargon? I haven’t heard

  [5:17 P.M.] Winchester

  


  I’ll let you keep that theory.

  And if anyone you’re talking to asks you that question, block them immediately

  [5:19 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Note taken…

  I guess I’m lucky you got to me first?

  DamageCritical[133-993-7490], Collins[133-607-2584]

  [6:19 P.M.] Collins

  


  No shit, I didn’t notice until now. You’re one of the people in that fiery disaster of a group chat who doesn’t talk in it too

  [6:22 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Really? The one that’s name changes every hour? I guess there was so many people swimming in there when I got added that your name got missed

  [6:23 P.M.] Collins

  


  Exactly how it happened on this end

  Have you found some trick to mute the group chat specifically or is silencing your whole phone still the only way

  [6:24 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  There’s still no mute button.

  I don't presume you still look around in there from time to time?

  [6:24 P.M.] Collins

  


  Not much since the feed's been taken over by a posse of anti-woke freaks. No idea what the deal is there

  Although I haven't checked in a few hours, so anything could have changed. The nature of that place is highly unstable

  Whatever vestige of order remains seems to be being maintained by Shereen

  [6:26 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  And have you done much to collect names from that mess of characters? I'm missing a lot of them

  Because, of course, contacts are a valuable resource in this game

  [6:27 P.M.] Collins

  


  I'm sure you know a lot more warbled screeching happenings there than name exchanges

  I just know Julien and Shereen are like the main characters there

  A lot of different people pop in and out hour by hour

  There's a Graham, there's a Fabian, there's a Baxter, there's a Cody, there was a Logan but he seems to have disappeared

  [6:30 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  I've pinpointed Shereen and Graham

  What are the numbers for the rest of them?

  [6:31 P.M.] Collins

  


  Julien's the group chat's founder, so their name is right on top

  And I can't find Cody in the list anymore, he might have left

  Fabian is 702-2696 and Bax is 812-2602

  [6:33 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  What about Logan and Cody? I might reach out to them at some point

  [6:34 P.M.] Collins

  


  Trying to get emotionally attached so the eliminations are more impactful?

  Hang on I didn’t save the two of them I need to scroll up very far

  [6:38 P.M.] Collins

  


  795-3757 and 786-2362 respectively

  [6:39 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Excellent

  And no, I am not “trying” to get emotionally attached

  Though I admit, being an unfeeling monster does help in elimination games…

  [6:42 P.M.] Collins

  


  So since it seems neither of us has taken a walk through the group chat’s antics recently, what do you say we both take a dive in together and see what they've been up to? Try not to say anything that'll get us kicked?

  [6:42 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Ah, are you trying to get emotionally attached to ME to make my elimination more impactful…?

  [6:43 P.M.] Collins

  


  I have been caught in an argumentative fallacy.

  [6:43 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  You'll have to take your own mugshot, nobody can get in your room

  But you asked me if I wanted to peak through the group chat logs with you. "What do you say?" I hear you asking

  Well Jonas, my heart is yours

  …I have no idea why I said that. I'm watching a really bad romantic drama right now.

  And before you ask, no, that's not my taste in film

  [6:43 P.M.] Collins

  


  Do you normally watch romantic dramas?

  Oh nevermind. Beat me to the punch.

  [6:44 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Time to start scrolling through the past hour, meet you there.

  [6:44 P.M.] Collins

  


  ??

  "Um actually it's called X now"

  DamageCritical[133-993-7490], ...Julien[133-656-8961], ...Shereen[133-440-6740], UnknownSender3[133-802-7988], ...Kaynen[133-853-2667], ...Iliana[133-296-8468], UnknownSender6[133-782-0376], ...Baxter[133-812-2602], Collins[133-875-0839], UnknownSender9[133-490-6016], UnknownSender11[133-319-1941], ...Graham[133-966-1196], UnknownSender12[133-891-6727], UnknownSender13[133-481-9556], ...Fabian[133-702-2696], UnknownSender15[133-281-9736], ...Keanu[133-212-3764], ...Paris[133-366-3195], UnknownSender18[133-616-4443], UnknownSender19[133-743-2123], UNKNOWN SENDER[133-822-2929]

  [5:47 P.M.] UnknownSender18

  


  I ran out of fucking forks

  [5:50 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  How the fuck did you do that?

  Just wash your shit, retard

  [5:51 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Is Lucio eating his forks?

  [5:51 P.M.] UnknownSender18

  


  MY DISHWASHER IS WORKING

  I just wasn’t given enough forks

  [5:52 P.M.] UnknownSender9

  


  I was given approximately six of each type of silverware

  [5:52 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  That sounds like you're eating your forks

  [5:52 P.M.] UnknownSender18

  


  I'm not eating my fucking forks

  I'm eating WITH THE FUCKING FORKS

  [5:54 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  I have eight forks too, only one of them is used

  [5:56 P.M.] ...Fabian

  


  Did this guy in the course of 48 hours eat eight entire meals that required forks, then rant about to us because in his mind that was a relatable problem?

  [5:57 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  Actually the dumbest thing I've heard all day

  [6:00 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Are you fucking kidding me

  Which one of you smartasses changed the group chat name

  I had it perfectly fine as "if twitter was a group chat" but OH you just had to be so fucking clever, you shitbiscuit

  ALERT: GROUP CHAT NAME CHANGED TO "X like the spot I marked on your mother's asshole, bitch" BY ...Graham

  [6:00 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  What's this business about eating forks?

  [6:01 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Lucio gets very sensitive if you accuse him of eating his forks

  [6:01 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Oh no Graham, don't start going on your Rohan arc, we've already gone through this

  [6:02 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  I'll turn into the fucking joker if you people keep fucking with me

  I'm gonna scroll up and find who changed the group chat name. The logs will expose you. And when you're exposed, I'm exposing this urethra full of piss into your eyes

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  [6:02 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Don't bother, it was Baxter

  [6:02 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Uh, no it wasn't! I'm being the target of misinformation!

  [6:03 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Unzipping my pants. This annoying motherfucker has been making too much noise today.

  [6:03 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Wait! Have mercy Graham sir! I swear I was framed! I’ll do anything you want!

  [6:03 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  YOU WILL LEARN NOT TO FUCK WITH ME, CHICKENSHIT. NOW TAKE IT IN THE EYEBALLS.

  Nevermind I don’t care anymore

  [6:04 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Oh, oh thank you Graham sir! I won’t forget this!

  [6:04 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Shut the fuck up

  [6:14 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  There’s so many dead fucking TV channels

  What kind of fucking gay asses in hospitals are sitting back watching 30 minute infomercials for fashion products

  [6:14 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Your gay ass, apparently

  [6:15 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  It’s okay to be a little fruity, Paris

  [6:15 P.M.] ...Fabian

  


  Paris is the gayest name I’ve ever heard

  [6:16 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  He’s fruitier than pebbles

  [6:16 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  FRUITIER THAN PEBBLES

  [6:16 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  OOF. I would laugh if that wasn’t so homophobic

  [6:16 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  That was the calmest 10 minutes of quiet from this group that I’ve gotten, and you guys just ruined it

  [6:17 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  Go fuck yourself, all of you

  If it bothers you, you can leave or you can mute your phone

  [6:17 P.M.] ...Keanu

  


  LMAO get her

  [6:17 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  HOLD UP I can mute my phone???

  [6:17 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  She doesn’t know

  [6:18 P.M.] ...Fabian

  


  Nobody tell her

  If you do you’re getting kicked and added to Rohan’s new group chat

  [6:18 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  I think this group chat has singlehandedly taught nearly everyone in it how to mute their phones, because there’s 21 people here and only four of them are still active

  [6:18 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  I would never mute my phone, it’s too much fun joshing with everyone

  [6:18 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  New Rohan group chat

  Tell me it ain’t so

  [6:19 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Say it ain’t so?

  SOMEBODYS HEINE IS CROWDING MY ICE BOX

  SOMEBODYS COLD ONE IS GIVING ME CHILLS

  [6:19 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  No no no no we already had a weezer guy get kicked last night don’t do this again

  [6:19 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  How did so many fucking Weezer fans make it into this group chat

  [6:19 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  FLIP ON THE TELLY

  WRESTLE WITH JIMMY

  SOMETHING IS BUBBLING BEHIND MY BACK

  [6:19 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  Shereen will kick you if you spam too much

  [6:19 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  BUH BUH BWOOOOW BUH BUH BWOOOOOW SAY IT AINT SOOOOOWOWOOOO

  Dangit.

  [6:20 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  And what’s stopping us from just kicking Shereen?

  [6:20 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  Allies.

  [6:20 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  You’re not gonna win that battle Paris

  Her and Julien’s fingers are on the button at all times

  [6:21 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  All of you can fucking blow me

  [6:21 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Take a picture, Paris said something gay again

  [6:21 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  Shut the fuck up cracker

  [6:22 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Whoa. Just because my name is Graham doesn’t mean you can call me a racial slur.

  [6:22 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  Are you fucking serious? You’re gonna get offended because I called you cracker?

  [6:22 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Weewooweewoo didn’t get the joke alert

  Someone call the didn’t get the joke police

  Besides, we all know you didn’t call me something worse because Shereen doesn’t allow the F word

  Rant and rave and whine, you’re subservient to authority just like the rest of us

  [6:23 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  Shereen doesn’t have any fucking authority

  I’ll say what I want

  [6:24 P.M.] UnknownSender18

  


  Shut you’re retarded mouth Paris, enough dicks have gone through it already

  [6:24 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  What is this, 2004?

  Someone want to do an Insane Clown Posse joke while we’re recycling all the gay jokes?

  [6:25 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  For a guy with such a luxurious and beautiful name like Paris, you sure are an asshole

  [6:25 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  Oh, sorry if I’m hurting your precious fucking feelings Owen

  [6:26 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Paris is some bourgeois pigshit of a name, of course he’s an asshole

  [6:27 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Hey, “fruitier than pebbles” was a good joke. What offends me is a lack of creativity

  [6:27 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  For the love of the lord, can you edgelords rest your fingers for 15 fucking minutes? Shereen and I can’t mute our phones while you’re threatening to kick us

  [6:28 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Apologies Julien, I will subtract one voice from this chaos. Hopefully others will follow suit

  [6:28 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  At least one of you has manners.

  [6:28 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Hey! Only Paris was threatening to kick Shereen, the rest of us are behaving!

  [6:28 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Don’t rope me in with these fucking losers Julien

  [6:29 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Before I go: Graham, make sure to check your refrigerator

  [6:29 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  HOW DO I MUTE MY PHONE?

  [6:30 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  You go in your settings, then go up your ass and to the left

  [6:30 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  YOU STOLE THAT JOKE FROM IMPRACTICAL JOKERS

  [6:30 P.M.] UnknownSender18

  


  You just recycled that line from Impractical jokers you fucking poser

  [6:30 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  Very funny shithead

  [6:31 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Paris proving himself yet again to be an utterly humorless crank

  And just this once, I high-five Lucio

  [6:32 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  I knew it was impractical jokers too, but i didn’t need to say anything because even if I didn’t know I still wouldn’t’ve laughed at that horribly executed insult

  [6:33 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Wouldn’t’ve? Is that even gramatically correct? It’s weird seeing that spelt out

  [6:35 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  So what if I kick Julien and Shereen? What the fuck are they gonna do about it?

  [6:36 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Some of us are loyal to the Shereen regime and will thwart any attempt at a coup before you realize what even happened

  [6:36 P.M.] ...Baxter

  


  Also Iliana, you can mute your phone by going into settings, general, sound, and then flip the silent mode switch

  [6:37 P.M.] ...Kaynen

  


  Is it safe to let paris remain if the group chat leaders have a target on their backs

  [6:37 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  Oh my god thank you Bax, first useful guy I’ve met here

  Also hi Kaynen

  [6:37 P.M.] ...Kaynen

  


  Hi Iliana

  [6:38 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  Kaynen has a point.

  Who even added Paris to here?

  [6:38 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  He might have been one of the guys Javier spammed in last night before he got kicked

  [6:40 P.M.] ...Keanu

  


  LMAOOOOOO FRUITIER THAN PEBBLES

  that was fuckin golden

  [6:40 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Wow, you’re late

  [6:42 P.M.] ...Keanu

  


  damn paris coming with the heat

  nvm stolen joke

  [6:42 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  We are watching him live read the past 45 minutes

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-748-1903] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [6:44 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  The fuck

  ALERT: UnknownSender15[133-281-9736] HAS LEFT THE GROUP CHAT

  [6:45 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  THE FUCK?

  Who just joined? Who just left?

  [6:45 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Fuck’s sake stop adding more fucking people

  [6:45 P.M.] UnknownSender18

  


  Too bad you people are fucking boring as shit

  Meet my man Gino

  [6:46 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Fuck you Gino, we hate you

  [6:46 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  Where?

  [6:46 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  We’re not adding any more people into the group chat, Lucio. Javier did enough damage letting you panzees in yesterday

  [6:47 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  Wait, is somebody here black?

  [6:47 P.M.] UnknownSender6

  


  Come again

  [6:47 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  The what

  [6:48 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  Uh

  Kaynen?

  [6:48 P.M.] ...Kaynen

  


  Yes?

  [6:48 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  On behalf of my brother Kaynen, I absolutely *abhor* your use of the word “chimpanzee” against us and DEMAND an immediate apology. That kind of bigotry will not be accepted in this game.

  [6:49 P.M.] ...Keanu

  


  LMAOOOOO

  [6:49 P.M.] ...Kaynen

  


  Don’t call me brother

  [6:50 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  i swear to god

  [6:50 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  You shouldn’t swear to God. He wouldn’t like that.

  [6:50 P.M.] ...Lucio

  


  You better apologize Julien

  [6:50 P.M.] ...Kaynen

  


  I don’t sanction this

  [6:50 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Classic white liberal, trying to speak over his black contemporaries

  [6:52 P.M.] ...Keanu

  


  cough tf up julien let’s here it

  [6:53 P.M.] ...Owen

  


  It’s spelt “hear” moron

  [6:53 P.M.] ...Shereen

  


  No more people. Gino, leave or you’ll be kicked.

  [6:53 P.M.] ...Owen

  


  Uh oh

  [6:54 P.M.] ...Paris

  


  Fuck this

  ALERT: ...Julien[133-656-8961] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Paris[133-366-3195] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Julien[133-656-8961] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Julien[133-656-8961] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Shereen[133-440-6740] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Paris[133-366-3195] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Paris[133-366-3195] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Gino[133-748-1903] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Lucio[133-616-4443] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: ...Shereen[133-440-6740] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [6:55 P.M.] ...Owen

  


  OH MY GOD

  [6:55 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  What in the screaming Judas on a paraglider just fucking happened here

  ALERT: ...Julien[133-656-8961] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [6:56 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  I DID IT! I SAVED JULIEN AND SHEREEN!

  [6:56 P.M.] ...Shereen

  


  Thank you.

  I’m sorry Julien. It’s fixed now.

  [6:56 P.M.] ...Iliana

  


  I'M A HERO! I STOPPED THE COUP!

  [6:56 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  I SWEAR TO GOD FUCKING ALMIGHTY

  [6:56 P.M.] ...Owen

  


  Oh no. Paris dun goofed.

  [6:57 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  This group has pushed every last one of my buttons

  I tried patience, thinking somehow that you people would self-correct, the annoying figures would be filtered out naturally

  But no. Instead, you multiplied like cancer cells and corrupted the entire foundation

  And what started off as a Fun Little Experiment with Logan and Rohan has turned into my waking nightmare

  [6:57 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Oh man.

  [6:57 P.M.] ...Keanu

  


  oh shit he mad

  [6:58 P.M.] ...Julien

  


  SHUT UP AND LISTEN.

  I'M TIRED OF IT ALL. MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

  I CAN'T STAND MY PHONE VIBRATING TWO THOUSAND TIMES PER HOUR BECAUSE THERE'S SO MANY IRRESPONSIBLE DIPSHITS THREATENING TO THROW THINGS OUT OF ORDER

  AND NONE OF YOU FUCKING LISTEN WHEN I TELL YOU THIS! NO, YOU JUST HONK LOUDER.

  I need a life of my own if I want to survive this game. I can't have the weight of 20 fucking lunatics tugging on hooks in my skin

  Because I believe wholeheartedly now that this very game is just a recipe for chaos. The ratio of psychopaths to human beings that have filtered through this chat alone is damningly representative of the game at large.

  You tell me what I'm supposed to fucking do in a group chat called "X like the spot on your mother's asshole." Give me a fucking break.

  It's time for me to go. I'm moving on from here. This experiment is beyond saving.

  My DMs are open. At least there I have some control over who surrounds me.

  Like the sun under the horizon that can't be seen anymore… I bid you ado.

  ALERT: ...Julien[133-656-8961] HAS LEFT THE GROUP CHAT

  [6:59 P.M.] ...Owen

  


  Great, look what you people did

  [7:00 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Wasn't my fault. Point a finger at me and I'll fucking break it.

  [7:00 P.M.] ...Keanu

  


  LMAAOOOOO HE LEFT

  [7:01 P.M.] Collins

  


  I don't talk here but I just want to state for record that I witnessed the whole interaction over the past hour, and all of that was Paris's fault.

  [7:01 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  I second that.

  [7:02 P.M.] ...Kaynen

  


  Well that settles it

  [7:02 P.M.] ...Graham

  


  Who the fuck are you two?

  DamageCritical[133-993-7490], Collins[133-607-2584]

  [7:02 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  It’s amazing the kinds of miracles of nature you find around you when you start paying attention

  [7:03 P.M.] Collins

  


  That’s not exactly how I would characterize what just happened

  [7:02 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  That's fair.

  DamageCritical[133-993-7490], UNKNOWN SENDER[133-622-7916]

  [8:47 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  Alright, I'm doing it. Time to meet somebody else

  You reach that point yet where all the people you met in a frenzy yesterday morning are starting to get nauseating to talk to? That can't just be me.

  [8:47 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Trust me, you aren't the only one…

  I'm just not the one to talk about it

  [8:48 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  How do you mean?

  [8:49 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  All I'm gonna say is count your blessings. It's a mad game out there.

  [8:52 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  You mean to tell me that 145 people in boxes isolated over the internet has unpredictable consequences?

  Color me fucking shocked.

  I'm Karan. Nice to meet somebody else who has their screws tightened, I guess.

  [8:52 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Karan, like the holy book? Or… no, that's the Quran. Pronounced the same?

  [8:53 P.M.] ---Karan

  


  Yes, pronounced the same. You're not the first to notice. Classic white people.

  [8:53 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  Uh… no comment on that

  [8:54 P.M.] ---Karan

  


  I'm sure you're one of the good ones. So tell me, what's your story so far?

  [8:55 P.M.] DamageCritical

  


  So… it starts in a mysterious apartment with a guy named Washington, waking up at 7:45 AM to an alert on his TV. And that's not even the interesting part.

  I'm fruitier than pebbles, then I'm allowed to write that joke and the WOKE MOB can't come after me. checkmate again...

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