ForeverEgg

  The din of noise in the Job fair was deafening. I would have thought that event spaces like this would put some effort into acoustics but whatever efforts they might have been making weren't w. I tried to foy breathing, hard as it was while being strangled by a tie in a scarcely-worhe wool of the sleeves scratched the bay hands as I tried to shift things to be more fortable. How was this supposed to send a good message? It's not like I was going to practice wearing this before an interview and I certainly had no pns to wear it after this. All a potential employer was going to see was that I don't wear suits well.

  I followed the signs toward the teical jobs but somehow I felt like I was even less in my element as I surveyed the tables. 3D printers zipped around making demo pieces, aable showed a floor vacuum whizzing around obstacles catg cheerios as the spokesperson flicked them onto the carpet.

  I opened my backpad dug out the folder of resumes. I could do this. I had e this far, and I could make this work. There seemed to be lines leading up to each of the tables of the big name panies, defense traostly, but oable at the far end of the row seemed overlooked. I struggled not to specute why as I .

  Tristate dairy. The two people manning the booth seemed bored out of their minds.

  "This wouldn't have happened if you had booked the correct table" the person in the back tio spin in their chair as i approached.

  I realized with a start that both the individuals at the table were extensively modded. At the back, the feminine person who spoke had lush green scales everywhere their white coat didn't cover. While at the table, now watg me ily, a much rger but still feminine individual looked at me with somewhat forced pleasantness. Rather than a b coat, they were wearing denim overalls with a pid button up shirt. Their eyes had cat-like pupils and their ears came to a bit of a point, but the most striking thing about their appearance had to be the scorpion tail id caught the briefest glimpse of.

  "Hello. Are you ied in learning about the positions avaible at our Dairy uhey cut off as their green panion abruptly stopped spinning and smacked their shoulder.

  "Don't call it a fug uhat makes us sound like cultists." they hissed uheir breath before putting on a simirly pained smile. "Sorry about that, what my dear rade meant to say was our dairy farm."

  "What's wrong with cults and unes?" I afforded myself a bit of humor as I read their ags. Deyha Ba she/her, and Dr. Carolyn Davis, she/her.

  "Nothing, in theory. But you never know." Deyha smiled more easily now, ign the grumbling of the doctor beside her. "Please five me for being so cavalier but I think we might have mispced our booth in the whole job fair thing. I don't want to give you the wrong idea…"

  "So this isn't a teical role?" I tried to keep my tone light as the doctor resumed spinning in her chair and groaned.

  "Well, how to put this… we are actually looking for uh… female applits?"

  My heart sank. "Why the restri?" my mind raced for ways to smoothly indicate that i wasn't a man, but it seemed like an idiotic thing to do while wearing this bsted suit and p myself to specifically avoid indig that to others.

  "Our farm is a bit… progressive? I guess you could say? We employ mostly modded folks to produce ah… humane foods."

  "Oh." I could feel my face heat up as I looked at the pamphlets oable for the first time. Milk and egg producers. I'd certainly heard plenty about the gene modding advances in the ret years, but It was still rare to see people as heavily modded as the two women in front of me. "Is the gene modding uh… part of the position?"

  The doctor stopped spinning in her chair and I felt like ay passed as she scrutinized me. "It is."

  I pulled at the colr of my shirt as they both seemed to look much more ily at me. I wao run, but a desperation for employment fought valiantly against my desire to escape difficult situations. I picked up the "milk" pamphlet, mao open it on the sed try and tried to yself as I sed the info.

  "You're seriously sidering it." Dr. Davis didn't even soften the accusation as if it weren't a statement of fabsp;

  How did I reply to that? Of course I was sidering it, but how would I save face here? Body modding was still as much outside social norms as anything LGBT, already I'd taken too long to reply and the doctor's sly grin was growing all the more smug and fident. I wondered if she took me to be some sort of egg. It wouldn't be the first time, yet how out of the closet was I really? Even my resumes said "they/them" in small text as a half-hearted assertion, a promise before eveiance.

  Deyha interrupted my train of thought as she pulled the doctor's chair away and shoved her unceremoniously toward the rear of the booth. "Please ignore my colleague. She's like a shark when there's a hint of blood ier."

  "You fucker-" Carolyn was cut off as Deyha blindly covered her mouth and tio address me.

  "How familiar are you with gene modding?"

  I felt like I was ba familiar ground. "A fair bit. I did some research when I was trying to start hormones but I got caught in a gap where insurance covered people switg and… I don't know. I got lost."

  "Well, the good news is that the new single payer system is better, but gene modding is still rgely sidered a luxury procedure, even fender affirming care."

  Carolyn finally escaped Deyha's grasp and swiveled around. "I'll do it, I like a challenge."

  "You don't have the clearao-"

  "I'll get the clearance, just you wait!" Carolyn seemed wild with excitement now and I began to wonder if we were being a spectacle.

  Once again Deyha covered Carolyn's mouth and turned bae. "Do you have some tact details you could give us? My colleague and I o gh some due process on this."

  "Uh. sure." I pulled one of my resumes out and double checked that all my tact details were across the top.

  "Fantastic, we will get back to you."

  I pulsively refreshed my email again, tabbing bad forth between windows in some sort of ritual to mahe unication.

  Instead, my ph. I picked it up without cheg the number.

  "Hello?"

  "Hi!" A familiar voice came through, " This is Deyha, I'm looking to speak with Mx.O'Reilly?"

  "Yes, Hi, that's me." I tried not to stumble over my words.

  "Perfect. I just wao reach out real quick, because we are still in the process of verifying a few things but in the meantime we wao extend an invitation to visit the farm. Would you be avaible to e for an interview?"

  "An interview? But how does that work if you aren't sure about… the position?"

  "While there is much to figure out about the gene modding, we are also ied in your other skills."

  I scoffed "other skills?"

  "Well sure. Everyone here wears several hats. We're particurly excited about your CAD capabilities."

  "I don't know…" I tabbed back to the map page. It would be at least three hours of driving each way, and I sure as hell didn't have money for a hotel right now, let alohe transportation. And on top of all of that, what if they never got cleared to mod me? It would be unbearable to work in such close proximity to luckier girls living my dream.

  "ot you on travel costs." Deyha seemed to read my mind, and I didn't know what to make of her enthusiasm.

  I realized I was searg for ways to say no when I really didn't want to. I wao say yes. All I had to do was say yes. "Alright. Sure."

  "Perfect, does this weekend work?"

  "The whole weekend?"

  Deyha ughed "Just a day, goober. Why? Is it far for you?"

  "I live oher side of tristate from yall, so it looks like three hours."

  "Oh."

  "Does that ge your offer on travel?"

  "No, no. I'm a gal of my word, that's on me for assuming, but we make it work. In that case ut you up in the barn for a night, don't worry, it's a pruest room."

  I hesitated. I wao believe that I was just that pelling of a didate but months of fruitless job searg had shot my fideo smithereens. Who really needed a CAD drafter on a farm anyways?

  Fuck it.

  "Sure, does Saturday night work?"

  "Perfect! Yes it does! Where do you live? Ideally, I'd like to get you here with the train if you are fortable with that, but I'm happy to pay gas and mileage if you need."

  I rattled off my address automatically and said goodbyes on autopilot. Was I really going to gh with this?

  Two rideshares and a train ter I was standing in front of an administrative building. So far I hadn't seen a in the pasture, but I didn't really expect to see a there in the first pce, least of all grazing even if there was field work to do. I adjusted my backpad slipped my hands into the pockets of my hoodie. The car that brought me was already kig up a tan cloud of dust and I moved to step up-wind as Deyha stepped out the front door.

  Now that she was standing I got a better sense of her size, she had probably remained seated before to not intimidate me. I was surprised that she was wearing a dress and leggings now, when her outfit before seemed more farm appropriate, but then I realized they weren't leggings. Fuzzy digitigrade legs ended in gleaming bck hooves.

  "Welx. O'Reilly, how was your trip? I get you some water or something to eat?"

  I tore my eyes away from her legs. "Uh no thanks, I'm not really hungry." I lied. The coffee from the train was already starting to upset my stomach without some food to ba out, but I wasn't sure what I would do if they offered me any of the "humane" produce.

  "Well, if you ge your mind I always keep a couple grano bars and jerky on hand." Deyha pulled a cloth bu of her pocket aracted a strip. "The Jerky is soy of course, and the grano uses local honey, but we trade for the oats and such."

  "Do you… not have meat here?"

  "Ah. no. not really. Kinda defeats the purpose ya know? We export very expensive milk, eggs, and hoirely on the premise of partially suppnting cows and chis. It's not that we are just against animal husbandry but there's a market for alternatives."

  "So you are all vegan?"

  "Not all but most, yeah."

  "There are exceptions?"

  "Definitely, but I'm afraid that wouldn't apply to you."

  "Oh. 't eat meat if I'm making milk."

  "Couldn't have said it better myself. But don't worry about that for now. Let me show you around." Deyha set off toward the cliche red baro the administration building.

  "Did you sort out the whole clearahing? Is Carolyn allowed to uh… do whatever it is she would o do?"

  "Yep." Deyha fshed me a smile. "You are officially eligible."

  "Oh. ." something twisted in my stomach. I hadn't sidered how it would feel for the whole sario to actually be possible. Like, I had already somewhat ed my head around the cept of settling on a non-dairy role on the farm, just to have a job, but now I felt like the pressure was on. I had to make this work. I had to be the perfect didate.

  Deyha pushed open the door to the barn and a cool burst of air wafted out. It seemed to be half re, half cafeteria, half… barn. More halves thaal possible amount. somehow. There seemed to be about a dozen people chatting amongst themselves and none of them were nearly as heavily modded as Deyha or Carolyn. It retty chilly so it didn't surprise me that many were snuggling up with bs In plush chairs or booths. Only a handful looked up to wave at the newers.

  My guide led the way to a er table where Carolyn and another dy pyed a bame.

  "Welx. O'Reilly" Caroly her cards down. "I'm so gd you could make it out for the tour."

  "I go by Maddie." I winced as Carolyn and Deyha raised eyebrows. "Sorry."

  "No, no. You're fine, Maddie. We just assumed based on the resume. I ask what your pronouns are? Did we get your surname right?"

  I picked at the seams of the inside of the hoodie. Now that I had ripped the bandaid off, I had to it. Besides, this wasn't the first time I'd e out. How hard could it be?

  "Yeah, it's Maddie O'Reilly and uh… She/h-they." I trailed off. I'd give myself half credit. Partial marks.

  "Okay." Carolyn nodded. "That works, I work with that."

  "Shush you." Deyha stepped between Carolyn and me and then turo face me. "What she is so indelicately indig is that this all works better if you are willing to-" Deyha paused as if carefully seleg her words "-present in a more feminine--"

  "I suggest forcefem." Carolyn cut in, much to the amusement of her bame oppo.

  "Carolyn!" Deyha rounded on her. "WILDLY inappropriate." she turned bae, already turning red in the face from exasperation. "I am so sorry, please, please don't take offense."

  "I'm not offended." I felt better actually. All the tiptoeing on eggshells was starting to psych me out but the simple remihat these were people who make jokes was a real relief in an absurd way.

  "Besides-" I shrugged. "You 't force the willing."

  "Hell yeah Maddie!" Carolyn hollered with glee, holding up her hand for a high-five as Deyha groaned with renewed exasperation.

  It took me a moment to realize that Deyha was going to leave her hanging so I pulled my hands out of my pockets and leaned across the table to pat her hand with mine.

  "That's what I'm talking about!" she turo Deyha "I love her, we keep her? I want to keep her."

  Deyha, in lieu of response, gently took my elbow and led me away, much to Carolyn's dismay. "Please don't ence her."

  "Sorry." I couldn't hide my smirk.

  "And since I have to be the adult here I feel it's prudent to crify that Carolyn's ' I keep her' does not stitute a job offer."

  "Ah, yeah. I took that with a grain of salt."

  "Good. good." Deyha sighed and rubbed her brow.

  I tried to be patient as she collected herself, but I figured if anything would help it would be a subject ge. "So what's with all the snuggies?"

  "So gd you asked." Deyha pulled open a drawer and handed me a plush b." We keep the whole area pretty cold so the bs are both for warmth and social fort. Many of the milk producers grow enough hair that they don't get too cold, but I requested that they cover up fuests as a courtesy."

  "Oh, so they're hooked up to maes right now?"

  "Yep. Our system uses a vacuum lihat runs through the entire room and you just plug iractor harness wherever. It helps with noise and I feel like it's just effit."

  I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't gehink they stuffed the girls in pens and hooked them up to loud maes, but I also didn't expect the process to be so… casual.

  "Does all the milking happen here?"

  Deyha shook her head. "No, there's vacuum hookups in more private pces and less portable extraaes for folks who have sensory issues with the harnesses."

  "Are sensory issues on?"

  "Yes and no. Most of the folks here are on the spectrum. You know how it is with the interse between queer and autistic folks. It's a queer pce, so the ideas of 'on' and 'normal' aren't terribly useful here."

  I wondered what else there was for me to ask. The thing I desperately o know was if I seemed like a good fit, but how was I supposed to interview for a unity?

  "I know it's been like, five minutes since I asked, but are you hungry now?" Deyha gestured to the kit area I'd seen earlier. Gigantic refrigerators lihe wall just like you would see on a cooking show and a couple guys in white aprons were chattio the stove top. She made her way over to them without waiting for me to answer.

  "Hey Thad, Hi Jake. What's on the menu today?"

  The taller one gri Deyha "same slop as always- ow!"

  The shorter of the two had elbowed him as Deyha crossed her arms.

  "Sorry, sorry, just a bad joke. Nothing out of the ordinary on the sad bar but for hot food it's chili and pizza."

  "How do you mahat?" I couldn't hide my skepticism at the idea of vegan chili or pizza being any good.

  "Very carefully." The shorter of the two chefs grinned and it was his turn to get elbowed.

  Deyha rubbed her face with both hands this time, she seemed to be rapidly approag her st nerve.

  "What Jake meant to say is that the chili is mostly beans with gies and the pizza is peppers, onions, mushrooms, and olives today." the taller of the two, Thad presumably, grabbed a dle and scooped a cup of chili into a mug. "Here, give it a taste. Tell me what you think."

  I debated asking for a spoon for a moment but my stomach won out with impatie was damn good chili. Sweet and spicy with perfectly softened beans and a riato base.

  "Ten out of ten. No notes." I took anulp, trying not to devour it as if I had been starved.

  Jake shrugged. "I figured I'd peaked. Hard to improve on perfe."

  "Ugh. the ego." Thad threw his arm around Jake's ned messed up the shuy's hair.

  "Hey! Easy! They're sensitive!" Jake wiggled out of Thad's grasp a about delicately fixing his hair.

  "Ah, sorry. Fot." Thad gave Jake some spabsp;

  Deyha leaoward me. "Jake is growing horns, it's his first mod."

  "You didn't have to tell her it's my first!" Jake groused.

  Deyha shrugged. "Sorry. I get a mug as well? I'm a little peckish."

  " I get a mug as well?" Jake mumbled mogly but he prepared another anyways.

  "Where are you headed for the tour?" Thad spoke up, leaning against the ter. "Have you showhe facility?" he took on a mock spooky tone and wiggled his eyebrows.

  "Fug hell, everyones a edian today." Deyha downed half her mug as though chili was something to be drunk, not chewed, and sighed. "The facility as he so eloquently describes it, is our ic. It's situated oher side of the big house, the uh, administration building I suppose.

  "What happens there?" I asked.

  Deyha whistled. "What doesn't happen there, holy. There's a track, pool, tennis court… oh, and the mod ter of course."

  "You do the mods here? On site?"

  "Mhmm. safer that way." Deyha finished her chili aured to the door. "Let's tinue our tour."

  Carolyn caught up with us halfway to the ic, falling into step on Deyha's other side as roached.

  "Are you going to behave?" Deyha asked.

  "Yes." Carolyn and I spoke in unison this time and Carolyn held up her hand for anh five behind Deyha's babsp;

  "See? She's perfect. Offer her the job!"

  I could see Deyha's jaw muscles g as she stared resolutely forward. After a long dey she spoke. "If you were w, that was not behaving."

  Carolyn practically skipped through the front door and waved her badge before pushing open a side door.

  "Isn't this a bit overkill for a private ic?" I asked.

  "It's not a private ic." Carolyn clicked her tongue "Someone didn't read the website very closely. Maybe I o resider my stance."

  Deyha stopped iracks, stopping Carolyn by proxy by gripping her arm. "Cut. That. Shit. Out."

  I took aep aartly out of instinctive fear, as Deyha pulled Carolyn close.

  They didn't seem to be whispering but the expression spoke volumes. Carolyn flicked her eyes to me. "Sorry. I shouldn't joke."

  Deyha released her arm and took a couple long, deep, breaths. She was once again posed when she spoke again. "I was hoping this would all be going more professionally, but It seems we o y some cards oable."

  My heart sank, I wondered if I had really blown it by not researg enough.

  "We, the farm that is, are prepared to offer you a pce should you choose to join us. You already 'passed' to whatever extent you could, we are the ones bombing this interview, not you."

  "I… What? I … what?"

  "If you still want to join us as a milk producer at the end of the day, the offer is formally open. There are ditions of course, but it is 100% down to whether you want to join. I just want everyoo rex, perhaps me most of all…"

  Carolyn leao the side and beamed at me. "She gets a little intense when she's stressed. That's my bad."

  "Uh… all good? I think? So hypothetically if I did say yes… how do things go from there?"

  "Excellent question." Carolyn skipped to step between me and Deyha, linking arms with her as she led the way forward. "Hypothetically, I would take a feles, prepare a serum, and then we would begin a therapy regimen to initially modify your body and then maintain the modification afterwards."

  "How long would the initial mod take?"

  "You have no idea how impossible it is to ahat." Carolyn ughed. "It depends. On just… so many things."

  "When we start?"

  Carolyn grinned "Hypothetically?"

  "Okay fet the hypotheticals. I'm sold okay? Sue me."

  Deyha sighed. "I had a process. I designed aire process to execute here but you had to go and… ugh."

  Carolyn ignored her. "We start today! We do the samples now, and then tomorrow I should have the first treatment ready."

  "That fast?"

  Deyha cut in. "In all likelihood, yes. Carolyn is probably itting to an all-nighter."

  "Damn right I am." Carolyn fist pumped. "I drank two energy drinks before ing here lets fug GO."