Book 3: Sound And Fury

  Ch: 5 I Wasted Time

  Passing through the veil was once more a deeply odd experience, as the strange, almost real tunnel through the never and nowhere, appeared and vanished along their path; extending only as far as the mortal eyes of the party could see.

  Since things like time, distance and reality itself were little more than suggestions in the realm between… The experience was a strange mixture of fear and comfort. Walls of solid seeming stone passed by at a normal walking pace, yet the entire group sensed the vast and yawning gulfs of empty void beyond their line of sight.

  “I’m projecting this passageway unconsciously, shaping it from the shadows and ether while releasing my grip on it as we pass along… so we’re not really walking, this is just an illusion my soul is creating around us.” He expined to the octopus.

  “Usually there’s a yawning gulf of dreams and nightmares, surging like a vast ocean all around. My soul creates this to shelter itself from what I am unprepared to perceive.”

  “Uhh…” Ace muttered inconclusively to the odd fellow. “Right.”

  “I stared into the abyss so long that it kinda decided I belong here… but I’m still only a fragile mortal at my core. My subconscious is doing this to prevent me from gazing off into the end of everything and falling into the void.” He murmured around a leftover carrot-apple muffin from breakfast.

  “Oh, yes, he’s right.” Ghnash agreed firmly. “Is a subtle and very low power mojo, but potent none the less. I’m impressed you can manage it in your state!” He nodded twice and grinned. “Flying through the void on dragonback is more metal.”

  “Lucky bastard…” Gary compined fondly at the goblin king.

  “What’s up with you two?” Ace asked quietly. “When did you get so tight?”

  “You will come to understand, Ace. Just rex and enjoy your first trip off world.” Ghnash murmured happily. “All will become clear, when Hermit and Necro join us for a big mojo.”

  /

  “So if we can introduce dad to an outsider who can Contract him, we can clear up a lot of these issues in one swoop!” Harry enthused to the group, as they marched along.

  “What about aunties Elli and Kelli?” Rio asked with a sharp tooth grin. “I bet she knows an outsider or two… and they’re both mortal.”

  They considered the unlikely pair of Elli and Kelli; a developmentally deyed woman in early middle age and her spirit haunt, a formless demon of darkness, possessing her shadow.

  Kelli, the human woman and Elli, the demon of endless night had been a tight duo since Kelli had been sold for magical experimentation as a toddler. A handicapped child, bought by a shady cult of mages from her equally shitty parents for a few coins.

  Elli, the ‘demon’ those fumbling cultists summoned, had little interest in being the sve of a bunch of losers who couldn’t even manage to secure their magical circle properly… She also, like most beings of the deep ether, neither understood nor had much interest in physical worlds, or their denizens.

  Truly malignant and evil beings existed and could be summoned by those with the knowledge and ill intent required. The forgotten demon cult hadn’t been specific enough and wound up summoning a being that had little patience for their foolishness.

  Taking possession of their would be human sacrifice and suppressing her mind for a few minutes of hectic action had been the easiest way to solve everyone’s problems.

  Everyone in the family wished so desperately that they could have witnessed the awesome spectacle of a naked three year old with Down Syndrome ripping a pack of fifteen full grown and armed cultists literally to pieces with her bare, pudgy baby hands…

  Sadly, only Elli and Kelli had walked out of that blood soaked ir of wicked sorcery, no other witnesses survived.

  They had joined the extended family and become ‘aunties Kelli and Elli’ years before; when Gary had taken Elli’s immortality from her, at her request. The eldritch entity had decided to become a mortal being of shadow and follow Kelli, wherever she went next, including the next life.

  “We have the weirdest family…” Amy sighed happily.

  “I doubt Gary’ll go along with anything like that.” Becky grumbled sadly. “He’s been burned too many times; mortal souls are not meant to endure what he has, so few beings will be willing or able to touch the thing he’s become. Of those who would or could touch him, even fewer would be welcome, as guests in his soul…”

  “I’ll have no more scheming or plotting with my husband’s soul.” Shai announced, ending the discussion. “He shall Contract or nae, as he wills and when he wills.” She shot a faintly disapproving gnce at Becky and sighed.

  “Poor Marduk still hopes to take him back… it will not come to pass, sister. Don’t let your god go pushing you around. I dearly love the wee deity, but I’ll not have him pressured, not by any means nor measure.”

  “You know I would never…” Becky murmured softly, still watching her Gary caper and dance with the puppet and the goblin. “He’s just so…”

  “Papa knows what he’s doing…” Wilf’s firm, soft voice rumbled out from behind the two women, distracting them from the antics of the three most troublesome Garies.

  “He’s probably always known on some level… That’s why he’s the Fool.” Ward agreed, appearing from nowhere, startling the group as a whole.

  “Sorry, As a pan-dimensional divine, I can kinda just show up in this weird, non-pce.” He gave the family a cheeky grin and joined the stroll through the tunnel of imaginary stone.

  “Don’t worry so much, gang. This passage will be easy for everyone. On your st trip through, his curses dragged at him like an anchor, that’s why he came out all wrecked.” The Death god grinned and chuckled. “In a lot of ways, he belongs as much between the worlds as on them… like me.”

  “You need to expin that one.” Amy demanded of her weird uncle, skewering him with a razor keen gre. “You can’t just hang something like that out to dry and walk away.”

  Ward stroked his chin thoughtfully and sighed.

  “Well, he’s not exactly like me. I’m a dryad, with roots in many worlds, wherever my fig trees grow and flourish. Gary’s almost the exact opposite. He never can pnt roots anywhere, except in the hearts of the people he loves, otherwise, he just drifts, untethered.” The handsome deity grinned, a sharp toothed predator’s smile.

  “Dana tried to tie him down and bind him, even before he and War had their… disagreement and falling out. She has had her eye on him from the start, I believe.; though, I wonder why. I think we can expect some chaos in the near term.”

  /

  The whole party trooped out onto the narrow and desote vale, high up in the mountain pass, blinking at the bright sunshine and cold breeze that greeted them. The scents of pine, spruce and hemlock mingled with forest loam and the sharp tang of sun warmed granite embraced the family as they emerged into the outskirts of Foresthome county, the ancestral domain of count Liam.

  Civilization was slowly returning to the long forgotten valley, as humans and other folk immigrated to join the growing community on the edge of the world of men.

  Ace inhaled deeply, savoring the aromas of the high forests and peaks after so long in his tropical prison. “Oh wow! He gasped in delight. “All my senses are pretty muted and dull when I’m in… my usual transportation. This is incredible!”

  “I get it!” Gary enthusiastically agreed. “I missed the scent of the ocean, but it’s nice to be back !”

  “No, really…” Ace carried on. “I haven’t been able to smell, taste or touch in so long I can barely remember this feeling. Just being able to py a guitar again after so long is more than I could have hoped for...”

  “Dude, chill. You’re making him uptight.” Ghnash grumbled, when he noticed the taller man who wasn’t a puppet mech driven by an octopus, start to shift and fidget uncomfortably. “We have miles to travel, I think.”

  “We do, several miles. We have to hike a little bit to get to the road. Let’s get moving!” Dannyl urged the group. “We have good weather and dry trails, let’s move.”

  “Wait… I promised Necro I would leave him a present in this cave.” Ghnash compined, as the humans started limbering up their long legs. “Magic fetish, so the Necromancer can endure this world’s light for a time. Strong mojo, it will shield his auras from the light for long enough to do what we need to.”

  “What are you guys up to?” Ivy demanded quietly, while the goblin dashed into the cave mouth and pced a neatly wrapped cloth bundle in the middle of the path, well inside the entrance and far from any chance the sunlight would hit the package.

  “We’re going to call a meeting of as many of me as we can get in touch with. It should be wild.” Gary murmured happily. “It’s pretty exciting, finding out that there’s more out there.”

  “Ghnash and I have both been stuck in our worlds from the start, this is going to be our first meeting with most of them as well.” Ace mumbled awkwardly. “It’s super socially awkward, and I still don’t get why this guy thinks he’s in charge.” He grunted and jerked a blue puppet thumb at the goofy, flesh and blood man who was nodding and grinning like an idiot.

  “I’m absolutely not in charge!” Gary insisted. “As you’ve cheerfully pointed out, I’m the weakest, most fragile being in this gaggle! Most of the pets and all of the familiars could swat me down without effort.” He was still grinning at his confused new brother, or friend or something… smiling like a complete madman.

  “Let’s get some miles under us and we’ll figure out the complicated stuff ter.”

  Gary pced a little panflute made of humble water reeds to his lips and began a sprightly marching tune, drawing instruments into the hands of a few others.

  The smiling musician swayed and danced through the party like a lunatic, leaving instruments in his wake, wherever he passed. The fool sashayed by and hip bumped Ace, who found that he had a ukulele softly singing along to the cheerful tune without fully realizing what was going on. Somehow it had just appeared there in his grip and he was already strumming…

  “Let’s have a little travelin music, brothers.” He sighed over his humble reed pipes.

  /

  Reclined on her golden divan, Dana, the Healer sighed listlessly and scratched a mild, burning itch on her palm. “Do we know any more about where that thing might have fled to?” She demanded, as the itch slowly intensified.

  “No, my dy… He has not revealed himself to any of our clerics or cultists.” Caduceus answered, his voice thickened by the strain of peering through so many mortal eyes at once. “We will remain vigint and shall report our findings immediately, divine one.” He gasped.

  “I suppose that will have to suffice…” Dana gnced down at the tiny red spot on her formerly immacute palm. “What is this sensation? It couldn’t be…”

  The rest of divine dy Dana’s thoughts on the matter were delivered to the scattered beings who happened to be gathered around the standing stones on the Madman’s moon, where she appeared without fanfare or warning.

  At the same moment, pain blossomed in her hand once more, as the Fool’s curse bit into her essence again.

  “He has returned to this domain, divine dy…” Caduceus decred, as he appeared by her side a moment ter. “The portents and signs clearly indicate this.”

  “I had gathered that much for myself… Physician.” She spat, through tight clenched teeth and lips pressed into a bloodless line on her once fwless visage.

  /

  The Ward family’s patented, wide ranging and completely nonsensical blend of music and conversation continued its dance around the metaphorical maypole for some little time as the traveled the narrow trail. The sun was still burning the st shreds of mist away, when the party stomped out onto a wide, well maintained, if little traveled mountain road of crushed granite and hard baked cy.

  “All right, here comes the part some of you may find confusing or troubling…” Lord Liam announced in his ‘I’m The Count’ voice, wearing his glorious cloak of eternally falling silver oak leaves and in his leonine armor. “Please just go with it. I want to put on a bit of a dispy, so we are going in full kit, with fgs waving. This troop will be parade ready in thirty minutes.”

  The Ragamuffins and Clown-Shoes were already working in that direction, eager to put on a brave show for the sleepy and scattered wilderness domain they were going to be travelling through. Wilf and Amy were setting the teams bikes out and adding gay pennants and streamers, to accompany the fgpoles Wilf mounted above each rear wheel.

  At the first appearance of the bikes, Gandree and Ace gave a loud and inarticute squeak of delight, sounding like two of the same child on the best christmas morning ever.

  “Bikes!?” Gandree gasped, while Ace gaped in wonder. “You have bikes?!”

  Ghnash just nodded and looked unbearably smug. “Bikes.” The goblin announced. “Hey Fool… You got wheels for me and Gandree?” He demanded of the lunatic who was donning his bright yellow bike armor beside his own machine.

  “I have Wilf and Rio’s bikes from when they were little, they should be close enough in size.” He shrugged. “I don’t think the boys will mind.”

  “Hey! How come they get to ride without armor and safety gear?” Rio demanded, while the dwarf and goblin were straddling the smaller, child sized machines that the boys had outgrown. Smiling and eager, Wilf had pulled them from his father’s shadow within seconds of the request being spoken.

  “We came from a pce where only rich kids got safety gear.” Ghnash expined through a hungry and excited grin. “We ride as the gods and spirits intended the common people should, risking our fragile bodies for the cause!”

  A huge, tanned and calloused hand nded on the little green guy’s shoulder. “No dice, Ghnash. Everybody that rides wears at least a helmet. It’s the w.” Gary murmured to his little friend. “I have the kids’ old gear and some things I’ve been working on…”

  He turned to the count, who was supervising his troops and smiling happily, savoring the cool mountain breezes of his home.

  “Hey, Liam, help Wilf and Amy dig out some armor and safety gear for my new friends… My storage is a bit of a mess.”

  “Really, brother? Shai and I have been telling you to get rid of all that clutter for years now…” Liam compined, as he began reaching into Gary’s shadow, fishing around for gaily painted and cquered wooden armor pieces in the deepest parts of his brother’s soul.

  “I can’t just have a garage sale… most of this stuff is at least a little magical.” He compined weakly.

  “All the more reason to put it to use.” Wilf rumbled, as he pulled out his old armored duster and helmet from a few years ago. He held them up against the dwarf and shook his head, before turning to Ghnash, who seemed a good fit for the burly young man’s hand-me-downs. “It’s a waste to just carry all these things around.”

  “Says the guy who’s outfitting my new brother with the contents of my interdimensional junk drawer.” Gary replied smugly, as the goblin buckled the light shin and knee guards on. In Wilf’s old kit, with the menpo snug and the goggles on, Ghnash could pass for a small human man, so long as he didn’t expose any of his green skin.

  Gandree wound up wearing one of Wilf’s spare helmets and his own sturdy canvas coat, since nothing in the family’s stores fit the absurdly broad dwarf d. He was grinning so wide that he was probably going to have trouble getting the bugs out of his teeth and standing over Rio’s old bike like he was waiting for a race to start.

  Daisybelle loped up, mounted on Jasmine and ughed at his bizarre wheeled construct. “Are you sure…? That looks like a foolishly dangerous contraption, whatever our new friends and King Papa say!”

  She giggled, before leaning in and stealing a kiss from the smiling man, who licked his lips and nodded eagerly.

  “Just watch and see, Daze… Just watch and you’ll see.”

  He reached out and swatted her pert, round bottom in her snug and immacute uniform pants, followed by a gentle rub and pat of her hiney.

  “I’m just sad I won’t be able to watch your butt all the way down the mountain…” He grinned wolfishly and chuckled in a way that made the goblin girl’s tummy warm up in some very pleasant ways. “Cause you’ll be watching mine.”

  “I like this new Gandree boy!” She growled eagerly. “I don’t know where you get this confidence, but at least you’ll still get a good long look at my ass; while I leave you in the dust!”

  Poor count Liam watched his parade devolve into a race with a long, gusty sigh. “Wilf, could you bring my bike out, please? These new guys need to learn some humility.” He turned to his immense snapdragon familiar and smiled. “Come home, darling. I’m riding the bike down the mountain.”

  The massive floral dragon nuzzled him with one of her many flower heads and began to diminish in size rapidly, eventually disappearing entirely with a soft rustle of leaves.

  As she shrank, colors flowed up the count’s armored gauntlet in a liquid stream of green, pink, red and yellow. It appeared as if a painter’s pots had been spilled onto his hand and began flowing up his hand to disappear under the armored vambrace hiding his skin.

  “Such a good girl!” He sighed, petting his right arm and smiling. With his familiar concealed in his tattoo, he straddled his own bike, an eager smile spreading across the young lord’s handsome face.

  Ace stood astride a spare machine, staring down at the familiar, unfamiliar construct in astonishment.

  “Shit, do some of these have… Freaking Motors?” He asked, when Dannyl seated his chain whip into the frame of his own bike, eliciting a metallic and throaty humm from the machine.

  “Yup.” Becky announced from astride her own violet and purple bike, dressed in close fitted armor like the rest. “Gary made them…” Her sweet smile and cheery voice took on a little bit of a bite as she continued. “...You know, the weakest of us? That wrecked guy?”

  “Come on…” The blue puppet sighed tiredly. “He’s unranked and his power level is fifty… What was I supposed to think?”

  “Stop thinking about power levels and stuff so much.” Ghnash grumbled up at the much taller being. “Some of us grow strong, some of us are born strong… Many more of us are weak and feeble.” The goblin spoke in a low, quiet rumble, one that would not carry far. “The worth of a person is not in his power level or rank, any more than it can be measured in wealth.”

  “Oh, sorry, I forgot that so many of me are a bunch of damn hippies.” Ace compined through his faceless mask. “There’s nothing noble about being broke, on the run and powerless…”

  “Isn’t there, though?” Gandree asked quietly. “I left the dwarfhold just hoping for something better out here… Now my adventure has taken turns I never expected.” He shrugged. “I’ve kissed three divines and a goblin princess, fought in battles and skirmishes and seen other worlds… Just this month.”

  “You are limited to one goblin princess!” Daisybelle barked ferociously at her boy.

  “Gods above and below, what would I do with more than one?” Gandree demanded right back, grinning like a man who just won the grand prize, without buying a raffle ticket.

  “That is the power of the Fool.” Ghnash muttered with absolute confidence, his eyes shining brightly as he watched Gary clown around with his kids and count Liam. “In the tarot, every card is numbered and ranked… save one. The Fool is card zero for a reason.”

  “Wait, Ghnash… You really think this guy is the original recipe?” Ace whispered very softly. “This guy?”

  “Yup.” The king answered firmly. “We all think we’re the original Gary when we appear, but only one of us can be right.” He answered calmly, right before kicking off to follow the rest of the team as they rolled down the mountain on nearly silent, alchemically treated rubber tires.

  “It’s bitter medicine, brother… To find that you are, that we are essentially copies.” He sighed softly and smiled at the Fool, who was goofing around with Gandree and Daisybelle. “But I find the unpleasantness passes swiftly, leaving only sweet relief behind.”

  “You’re pretty deep, Ghnash.” Ace murmured quietly. “But this guy?” He asked again.

  “Brother, at first gnce, how dangerous do you appear? I thought you were adorably wriggly; yet you are deadly dangerous and a being to be rightly feared.” He smiled, showing his pointy teeth. “Many have thought me a simple goblin… and been taught harsh lessons for assuming that what appears, is all that there is.” He smiled, shook his shaggy head and bucked Wilf’s old helmet on firmly.

  “Now shut up and ride, Ace! I haven’t been on a bike in forever and I pn to enjoy this!”

  /