“That’s…that’s my mate.” Gabe says as he comes to a halt in front of Olly. She stands imperiously, her beautiful head held high as he steps closer.

  “Olivia. Olly. You are my fated mate, and in the presence of the moon goddess, I claim you as such.”

  Hi words ring clear in the semi-circle as some of the crowd erupts in cheers. In front of our eyes, Gabe transforms into his silver-grey wolf. They are so alike, no one can doubt they are fated. Only Gabe’s wolf, large though it is, is slightly smaller than Olly’s.

  I watch as my heart stops thudding. My brain stops its relentless drone. My stomach stops churning its bile.

  Behind us, someone hoots in delight. Then a howl goes up, followed by a vampire’s screech as it lodges itself onto a nearby wolf to resume the fight. In a few quick moments, the battle ensues back to its previous vicious form. Everyone gets distracted as I stand watching. My brain is numb, mind has come to a halt. It’s as if I am an alien watching from outer space.

  I close my eyes, waiting. Waiting for something, someone to remember me. I do not even know who it is. It could be the goddess that smiles serenely from above, lying in her bed of fluffy clouds as she watches her squabbling children proudly. I wait for her to glance at me, to do something to alleviate my pain, but nothing comes my way.

  Maybe I could wait for my death. Yes, in a forest full of vicious vampires and werewolves, at least one will turn to me, wanting to kill me and end my suffering. Death may prove kinder than the moon goddess. I slump to my wobbly knees to pray for it. Please…someone pay me some heed. A single blow would be enough. It’s not like this feeble body can stand anymore.

  Nothing again. Death ignores me, just as life has ignored me. Repulsed, I turn and flee into the bleak forest, waiting for it to swallow me whole.

  Once I am in, I run like there is no tomorrow. Maybe there is no tomorrow for me. Today is the day that finished me. Whatever is the rest of my life–I know it will be worse than death.

  Tears stream from my eyes as I scramble through the rough. I want to go away, as far away as possible. My frail body hurts, sharp thorns and dry brambles poking into my skin whenever it grazes past a thorny bush. No wind rustles through my fur. No forest whispers its secrets to me. My wolf dream…it was nothing but fate’s way to tempt my silly heart. I am living a reality I never had in my worst nightmares.

  Trees sway. The rough ground underneath hurts my bare paws. I am not used to this body, nor do I ever want to get used to it. It’s so clumsy I can barely hold it together as I stumble through the wood, slipping over slippery slopes, bumping into gnarled trunks that stand looming in my path. I must have turned blind, as I cannot see anything. Or maybe the rage and humiliation that clouds my brain has dulled my senses. I cannot see, I cannot hear, I cannot smell or think. All I feel is the galling pain ripping through my heart. It’s unreal. Every nerve is on fire, each tendon hurts as I take jittery steps forward. Every muscle screams in agony as I try to hold myself together.

  The moon blinks through the cloudy sky, and I stop to take a look. I should never have trusted it so blindly. No God has ever proven faithful or merciful. All they have is the power to make or break, but it’s the breaking they enjoy the most. To make something of yourself, you must gain power yourself. Gods do not like weaklings; they have no business to survive in this world.

  I give a last look at the silver orb before turning my back on it. I am done with it. I am done with hoping. I can’t believe I have sleepwalked into my fate, only for it to crush me down one more time. It was so foolish to trust it. It had failed me once, when it gave me the weak heart. I should never have trusted it to do any good for me.

  The sky crackles with a lightning that illuminates the entire valley. Behind me, the battle rages, the screams reaching an unimaginable crescendo. The forest hums with echoes, with patters of feet as someone else enters it. I scamper away as fast as my wobbly legs can carry me as Tina and Tammy’s faint calls fade into the night.

  “Danny! Where are you?”

  “Come back, Danny!”

  “Danny please! Come back!”

  This last voice is Adam’s. It sounds in my head. I don’t know why that voice affects me like no other. My legs stop on their own accord as my snout raises to sniff the air hopefully. Just then, a pain rips through my heart, bringing me back to my senses.

  Have I not had enough? Why am I still waiting for him?

  I turn and flee. Away, away. As far as possible. I want to zoom over the valleys, forests and mountains, beyond the lines of horizon that constrain me to this world. This place is not for me. These people are not for me. I do not fit with them. They should be rid of me as much as I want to get away from here.

  “Danny! Where are you?” A call sounds through my heartstring. It’s Adam again. I don’t think he saw my spectacle or if he had seen he was not in the front row enjoying it. Whatever it is, I don’t want anyone at the moment. I just need to get away. If I could, I would fly out of this body, out of this world, to the heavens or the hells, whatever my destiny. I cannot live in this body, this stinking, hurting body of a sickly cur that can’t even walk properly, let alone run.

  My dreams. The dreams when I rush through the forest, with wind on my wings. When I float through the air like a leaf on a spring breeze. They were all lies. Was it a way of the moon goddess to mock me? To show me something I would never be? That must be it. A cruel joke the goddess has played to entertain herself and her children. Noone will forget it in haste. After all, not many first wolves have ever sired omegas.

  Am I an omega? Is this how an omega looks? Feels? Lowest of the Low, powerless, unwanted, and humiliated. Or rather, some are too nice to humiliate her and so she is humbled, feeling humiliated anyway.

  A sound of rumble cracks overhead as the sky breaks with another lightening. The rain comes down hard, drenching my sick skin. I shiver, feeling the sting of a thousand needles as my new body tries to stay upright. It’s hard. So hard when my heart is broken into prickly shards that cut me everywhere.

  The vast forest mocks me. An icy wind whistles a jeering tune. The dark blinds my small watery eyes as I try to see through it. All I see are weird dancing shapes. The dark forest silently closing around me, suffocating whatever little life that still remains in my veins.

  Further away behind me, the clifftop is still alight with torches. The sound of the battle seeps through the thunder of the rain, but as I move further, it soon fades out. All I hear is the thump-thump of my own frantic heart. I am surprised it is still beating. If it was up to me, I would have wrenched it out of my chest and flung it into some ditch for the piece if useless flesh it is. On second thought, I would throw myself over this mountain for the piece of filth I am.

  Another lightning crackles through the forest, bringing me to a shuddering halt. Soaked to the core, I stand under a vast tree, my wobbly legs barely supporting me. I want to shift back. I want to leave this wretched body. I scrunch my eyes and will myself to turn back but nothing happens. I am stuck in this body. Nothing I do makes any difference.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  Cold wind whips around as I stumble across the forest like a drunken blind. Sometime during my reckless flight, I slip over a slope, tumbling through the rushes to land in water. I cannot see what it is–a river, a stream or just a muddy puddle full of rocks. I lay there exhausted as consciousness slowly leave me. It’s a relief, an oblivion I welcome with open arms. I wish I never wake up. I wish this place - this watery grave - turns out to be my final destination.

  *****

  “Danny! Where are you?”

  “Come back, Danny!”

  “Danny please!”

  I stir from my slumber at the sounds of voices. They are calling me. On my left, in the far off forest, I hear Tammy and Tina followed by Billy. Behind me is Myra, stumbling alone through the bushes. Jeff is on the right, probably alone as well. There is another deep voice calling relentlessly in my head, but I ignore him stoically.

  I wish I could break the pack bond. It’s like a leash that follows me, keeping track of my every move. For a time it was fun, I even began to cherish it, but now... I just cannot bear it.

  I lay where I am, sinking low into the shallow muddy grave. The tip of my nose is barely above the surface as I submerge myself completely. Sometime during the long wait to let the calls die, I shift back to my human form. My bare skin shivers with cold as little creepy-crawlies in the mud slither on my skin. I lay motionless, feeling the little stings as tiny sharp teeth sink into my flesh. The cool mud soothes the sting as I receive more and more. At some point, blood starts oozing, making the brown mud turn purple.

  I stay put. The sun sinks to the west as the voices fade into the forest. I crawl out slowly on my fours and pull myself up onto my shaky legs. It feels weird to be completely naked. Yet, the thick layer of mud keeps my modesty protected.

  I snort. Modesty. Who exactly am I protecting it from? There is no one here to see me. No one but…

  I freeze. It was a mistake to come out of my bog. A few feet away, stands a figure clad in white robes. Her hair is dishevelled, and face is deathly pale. On her neck are puncture marks. They must be quite deep, as blood seeps out, dribbling over her chest towards her waist. She stands swaying, watching me hungrily.

  I know her from yesterday. She is one of the vampire-slaves who was part of last night’s revelry.

  “I am thirsty.” She says, her eyes raking my body. I swallow a dry lump before turning tail and flee.

  I run like a maniac. Through the bushes, brambles, thorny shrubs. My legs already are bloody. They stomp on the rough ground, through sharp rocks and prickly dry clumps. The girl chases me with a weird fumbling gait. Along the way, more join her, all with blood-stained clothes and hungry eyes. Their faces are strangely innocent, reminding me of Stella. Time and again, I look back, wanting to stop and just give them what they want. But the fear in me keeps my wits alive. Whatever my destiny, I do not want to end up like them.

  I scramble through the bushes to arrive on a rocky ledge. My heart shudders as my vision stretches to the horizon. The earth ends here, the ground opening into a vast black void. Ahead of me is a deep ravine, the ledge directly falling down a steep slope. Beyond the ledge, miles away, are grey mountains, standing tall like sentries keeping watch. Below is a deep dark. I try to gauge the depth, but in vain.

  The evening gathers as the sun dips deeper to the west. I stop at the ledge, trying to listen for any footsteps behind. Instead, there is a sound of a scramble as feet patter away in hurry. I clutch my heart, breathing heavily as a tall figure emerges from of the forest.

  He is shirtless, with the top half covered in deep bloody gashes. His red-black gaze stares at me intently as he takes a tentative steps forward.

  “Danny. I have been looking for you.”

  I don’t reply. The wind whistles eerily as I stand on the ledge. Behind me is a ravine and in front of me is the man I admire. He is a great warrior, Beta of the pack. And I am a mere Omega. Correction - someone called me a mongrel a while ago. I don’t think that even counts as an omega.

  I take a step back, my face blank as shadows gather around. My mud-caked body shudders in the icy wind as Adam narrows his eyes.

  “You did not answer my call.”

  “I did not want to.”

  He sighs, running a callused hand in his wind-swept hair.

  “I know what you are going through, Danny. But you must come back. You belong with the pack.”

  “I belong nowhere.”

  “I know what you are thinking, Danny. But please. Believe me. I’ll make everything right. I know why this has happened, why your wolf is…weak.”

  “Weak?” I laugh, tilting my head. “It’s not weak, Adam. It’s an abomination. You know what they called me back there? They called me a sickly mongrel. Which means I am not even a wolf. Don’t bother with me, Adam. I am no more your responsibility.”

  “That’s not true!” he snaps, his face clouding. “You do not understand, Danny. I… I have a lot to tell you. A lot to … confess. Come with me. Come back with me and I’ll fix it all.”

  “There is nothing you can fix.” I snap as I turn away. What does he want to fix, anyway? And why? To ‘fix’ me, he’d need to take me as his mate. And had he not decided against it already? Then why now? Am I really that pathetic... that he had to do it as a last resort?

  I shudder of revulsion courses through my blood. I am disgusted with myself. Yes, I wanted him once. It was so bad I almost went insane with longing, but now… Now that I know my reality, I do not want him anywhere near.

  “I don’t need anyone to sacrifice themselves for me, Adam. You don’t owe me anything. Just leave me alone.”

  He looks pained. Troubled as if every word pierces his heart. I watch quietly, trying to understand him. Maybe he is here out of duty. He is the Beta and feels obliged to save a lesser wolf. It’s my grandpa’s debt of gratitude that he is trying to repay through me.

  A shameful heat colours my face. I am thankful the mud hides it from Adam.

  “I want you to break this…pack bond. I do not want to be a part of Silver Shadows. As I said before, I want to return to LA and live as an ordinary human.”

  “And I told you it’s too late for that. You must stay here and let me heal….”

  “I said NO.” Anger flares through my body like lava. That’s the only thing I am capable of now— being angry and disgusted at myself and the world. And he is the part of the world. He is better than me while I…

  “Just break the bond. Now!” My voice is bitter as ice. He stands firm.

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” I simmer with agitation. “You can’t force me. I said I do not wish to be part of your pack. Just do it already and let me be free.”

  “I said I can’t.” He sighs and purses his lips. In the orange dusk, his red-black eyes look the same colour. For the first time since we met, I can see a cohesive expression. It’s pain, regret. Yearning?

  My irritation flares. “Whatever! I am leaving regardless, so, it’s no use…”

  “You are my mate, Danny. If I break the bond, it will be fatal for you.”

  My head swirls. For two whole days, I have eaten nothing, and hunger gnaws at my empty stomach. My brain and body can only survive so much and this man…this man picks this time for such an obscene prank?

  “Please Adam. I am in no mood for jokes.”

  “I am telling the truth, Danny. You are my fated mate.”

  “Your mate was Ellaine, and she is dead.” I snap as the burn of my heart reaches its peak. What is he saying? Why is he lying? This joke is going too far. If I were his fated mate, would he not have claimed me before?

  “Well, that’s how the story goes. That’s what I want everyone to believe.”

  “And why would you do that?” I tilt my head. I can see only one reason. Tammy had told me. If you are not interested in the fated choice, you just do not claim them. You let them go…slowly, but surely. Adam had never been interested, so he chose to let me go. And now, he is here, to heal me out of pity or duty. Either way, it makes me puke.

  My body heats and anger flares. I see him. I see through him. He rejected me, indirectly, to spare me a certain death. The dreams that followed are the proof. It was my heart pining. And the potion…maybe that was not a remedy for vampire venom after all.

  He rejected me, and gave me Arome’s potion to reduce the impact. That’s why my dreams disappeared. And the second potion he gave me…that must be the remedy for vampire spell.

  My face pales and heart rips apart. How clever, smooth and cunning. All this intricate plan just to keep me at bay. Just to avoid taking me as a mate because I was not worthy. I am not now and I never will be.

  I exhale as my brain clears, blocking all commotion. Behind me, the wind whistles, fanning my hair in all directions. It’s a dark halo around my head as my rage boils over. I take another step back, now to the edge of the cliff.

  “Danny! Stop! What are you doing…??”

  “I am taking a decision, Adam.” I say, swaying in the wind. I have been rejected by the fate. Rejected by my mate. Rejected by everything that I held dear. It’s time to let go. It’s time to let myself free of the burden.

  I give him a last look, taking in his features. How I wished to touch that face, listen to that beating heart, sink myself into his warm embrace that was in my dreams. But dreams were like sandcastles, blown away in a heartbeat by destiny’s hot winds. It’s better never to build them, never to have false hopes, only to have them crushed.

  “Thanks for everything again. It was good while it lasted, but now I must go.”

  “Danny! No!” He lunges forward, but it’s too late.

  Closing my weary eyes, I take the final step. The ledge slips below my feet, plunging me backwards into the deep ravine. The feeling is ethereal, as if I am flying through the air, wind whistling through my hair, weightless, bodiless. I smile a serene smile. Finally, I have achieved my dream.

  ***** *****

  Destiny's children - is already in progress. I hope you will check it out.. In the meantime, please rate/review this book to let me know how you liked it. It will be a great help for me to improve my writing.