Death...
I see death everywhere.
Ah... I am already dead.
"Rough night?"
I hear a voice in front of me. And with it, a sound of liquid pouring into the empty glass that was on the table in front of me.
"..."
I gave no reply and instead, grabs the glass and drank its content in one gulp.
The bartender can't help but sigh at my behavior, But frankly, I couldn't care less.
Instead, my eyes wanders around the room once again, just trying to find something that could lessen the boredom and any chance of my mind wandering thoughts my head. I don't want to think. I really don't.
Loud chatters, people drunk on cheap booze, the disgusting stench of dirty men mixed with sweat and alcohol, some stupid old music on the jukebox, loud creaking noises on the aged wooden floor. It was just an ordinary bar one'd find in any shithole part of town, but... Compare to any well established place to drink my fill, this place is the only one I always rather go to.
My hand gestured another refill to the person in front of me. And as the alcohol content began to fill yet again, I can feel the bartender's curious gaze.
"So... Care to tell what happened, kid?"
I can't help but to let out a sigh. Irregardless of my feelings, i can already tell that the bartender won't stop nagging until the reason behind my bruised-up face and messy clothes is clear.
And so, despite me not really wanting to talk about it or even remember, I decided to just let the curiosity ends.
"Some fool tried to r... Rob me. Got cocky and went too far. Need I say more?"
"Hunh, so that's why. Poor lad..." The bartender says, with a solemn face as if trying to show pity towards the mugger. But of course, that is further than the truth.
"He didn't die if that's what you're assuming, just a bit beaten up is all." So I said, to clear the misunderstanding right away.
"No offense but your definition of 'a bit' is extremely loose... But oh well, just hope he wouldn't take revenge on you or something, kid."
"I'll congratulate him from beyond the grave if he ever succeeds."
"Yikes... But, y'know, with a cute face like yours? I'd probably do something more than that, Gahaha!"
"...Tch."
"S-sorry, it was just a joke! Ya don't have to glare at me like that! I'm just always amused by your look is all!" The bartender tried to calm me; But not a moment later, ended up adding an extra unnecessary remarks. "Frankly your personality is the total opposite..."
I couldn't help but slams the glass of cheap whiskey down as I glared at the bartender. it's content slightly sprayed onto the table. It probably fall harder than i intended as i felt a few wary eyes on me. Though, those were the least of my attention right now.
"So what?! Am I supposed to act the part just because of my looks?" I told the bartender, staring right at them. The bar was silent for a moment, but it quickly grew louder as quickly as the bartender's mouth forming a smirk.
"Can't say yes to that, I guess." The bartender shrugged.
I sighed after seeing that nonchalant reaction. Thinking that it's really a lost cause for getting worked up about anything they say. I took a heavy breath and motioned for another refill in which the bartender abliged as they wiped the slight drips of alcohol that was on the table. "And stop calling me a kid, will you?"
"I'll keep that in mind." The bartender says as they laughs loudly. It really does seems that seeing me frustrated only ends up exciting them.
"Though..." The bartender spoke as they wiped the tear in their eyes. "I have to say. That's not what I'm really asking about, you know?" They continues their nonchalant mannerism but with a tone that are somewhat softer than before.
I slumped on the table in front of me and grabbed the glass after the bartender finished their pour.
"...Then what are you on about? It's not like I ever come here when I'm not in a shitty mood, right?" I told them sarcasticly.
"Well... That's true. Still though, you've been coming here, gobbling up the alcohols for weeks on end... That's a first, you know?"
"..." I stay silent as I stare at the translucent caramel brown of the liquid inside the glass.
"People come and go through this bar all the time. Some are good people while most... Not so much. But, nevertheless, I always serve them what they requested. But even then. I know. And I think deep down, even they know too... That most of the time? Those are not what they truly wanted."
A deep sigh escape my mouth yet again. It didn't take much for me to understand what the bartender was trying to say.
"I messed up... Again." I looked down while resting my forehead on my arm on the table. "I thought I made the correct choice then... But it's not. Things ended up worse than before because of my decision." I stopped for a couple of seconds, both to process the emotion that had begun to leak out but also to hear what the bartender had to say. But, I didn't hear anything.
The bartender's still listening.
Patiently.
And so I continued.
"It's always like that. Even back then. I would try to make things right but I always ended up fucking things up." I struggled to finish my sentence and felt my strong grip on the glass. "People keep saying it's not my fault. That I made the best out of the situation. That I... That I did.. My best. "
A feeling of disgust can be felt all over my body. Bitter memories that I wanted to forget. All playing back inside my mind.
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So I raised my head and drank yet again. I drank the alcohol till its last drop.
All while the bartender still stayed silent and listened.
"Fucking insensitive pricks, all of them... Don't they realize that saying those words would just made me feel even shittier?"
I motioned for another refill to the bartender. I need more. I want to drink to the point that I can no longer think.
"But tough luck... No one ever seems to want to be the bad guy and points the blame to me instead."
I drink.
"I hate them, I hate everything..."
But worse of all... I hate myself.
And drink again.
"They could go to hell for all I care..." I slumped back and just lay my head there on the table. "Ugh..."
The fire of anger began to die down and what replaced it, a dizzying headache.
"Well, there ya go." The bartender finally started speaking. "Trying to bottle your feelings isn't gonna make you feel any better."
Hearing those cheap words... It's all empty words, I already knew.
But still, it does help calms me down.
"So it's always good to let them out of your system once in a while, kid."
But it seems someone decided to pour oil into the embers again.
"Oh for fu- Stop calling me a ki-"
—jingle
Suddenly, everything went quiet. Everything but that sound.
I look back at the source of the sound. A ringing sound of a bell.
There, I saw it. A black cat passes by behind me.
The bell on its red collar continues to ring as it moves.
"Goddammit..."
I lazily stand up.
Can never catch a break...
my mind is in a haze.
Who wouldn't be? Consuming that much alcohol and most people probably couldn't even walk properly.
I follow the black cat.
Before I realized it, everyone already vanished. Just me and that cat.
Time feels stagnant. I couldn't help but feel a sense of calm tranquility all over my body.
I follow the black cat.
Where am I? I could've sworn I was in a bar?
It's really dark in here.
I follow the black cat?
...Who am I again?
Wh- What's with this getup?
I follow the black-dressed girl.
Man... why did she have to run? Can't she take it easy?
I'm wheezing over here...
I chase after the black-dressed girl.
My left arm feels heavy, I glance over and see something glimmering with the bright moonlight. something made of iron.
Wait? Why am I holding such a thing?
Ah, who cares! I'll think about that later...
I chase after the terrified girl.
Just a little closer... and then, I can finally- Huh?
What was I gonna do again?
I felt the warmth of something wet in my grasp, realizing that the metal object I held was firmly lodged into the girl's back, with crimson liquid gently trickling from the wound. Despite my confusion and horror, I can feel a smile formed in my face.
Ah. Now I remember.
The girl had collapsed on the ground. She looked back at me, expression filled with fear and pain. I can't help but grin like an idiot after seeing that face. I wasted no time and pinned her down with my body. with the knife in my hand, I continued dropping the knife down to the girl while she was still on the ground. Helpless... Defenseless.
I did my best not to hit her vitals at first, relishing in the reactions of my victims... She let out a yelp that grew fainter each time the knife buried deep inside her frail body. A few words were spoken too but everything was muffled. Is it from me or her? I cannot tell. The ecstasy, the thrill of the slaughter made everything insignificant. with every strike, I can feel her flesh, her blood, the warmth of it all.
Ah, such a euphoria...
Her body, lifeless after the 9th stab, but my sadistic worship won't stop. It can't stop. I'm thankful she goes down without much fight. That way, I didn't have to do so much of a scratch on her face since she went all limp so easily, it'd be a waste to harm the face. Seeing the bright red blood that gives a great contrast to her pale skin and black dress further fueled me with the desire to plunge my blade deeper inside her. At this point, she no longer made any sound, but I still haven't stopped.
Her legs, her chest, her arms, her back, I went on a stabbing spree.
Other than her face, I care not where I strike anymore. I can't stop. My heart raced so strong that it felt like it might leap out of my chest, but I continued stabbing her. Nothing matters anymore. In this alley... The only things that exists were me and her and this knife.
At that point, her stomach's content had scattered all over the road. Her body already in a condition that no one would recognize. The whole alley floor is full of a bright red liquid... seeping from the pile of flesh in front of me. The moon shines on the girl's dismembered body brightly, as if even 'it' wants to see my work of art. Amidst the gore in front of me were the prized jewels. The window to the soul.
Slowly, delicately, I cut open her neck and sever her head from her body, grabbing her decapitated head while catching my breath. I raised my trophy. Inspecting the prize I've just claimed... Her face is that of a doll. A serene expression disconnected from the external and internal world. The emerald jewels. A beautiful glimmer on her half-opened sockets. A beautiful soul, trapped. Grasped upon. My new favorite collection piece.
"Aw dammit, I'm drenched...."
I looked up from the dark alleyway. To my one and only audience.
"But man... "
Up above where a single pale light shines amidst the dark sky.
"The moon sure is beautiful tonight."