Chapter 2: Refusal to Accept Fate

  It was unknown how long it took, but the cold night wind woke up Lin Xiyuan. She told herself that no matter whether she was Lin Xiyuan or He Huan, she had to survive. The previous situation was so difficult, and she had endured it. Today, she became He Huan, but it was just a new beginning. If she could make Shen Jinglun marry her once, she could also make him marry her again. The key now was that she had to figure out what happened in the Shen family and whether her son was safe. "Help me up," Lin Xiyuan ordered Bai Mei, her voice unusually calm.

  Bai Mian stared blankly at her master.

  "Help me up." Lin Xiyu repeated.

  Bai Miao hastily stood up, bent down to help Lin Xiyu up, and anxiously asked: "Miss, what should we do now? The family is waiting for you to buy rice back home."

  Lin Xiyu didn't say a word, and slowly took a few steps. She was now certain that the mark on her neck was left by He Huan when she attempted to kill herself. The man from before had indeed saved her.

  She didn't feel sympathetic or guilty. More than two years ago, the merchant ships of both Lin and He families were robbed by pirates at the same time. If it was He Huan who married Shen Jinglun back then, it would have been the Lin family's bad luck instead.

  Lin Xiyu clenched her fists and looked up at the starry night sky.

  "Miss?" Bai Ruo called out timidly.

  "Find a place to rest for the night and return to the city at dawn."

  "But..." Bai Rou had only said two words when she heard her own stomach growling loudly. She was so embarrassed that she lowered her head.

  Lin Xiyu was also starving, but He Huan had pawned the silver bangle and given the money to a strange man they had met earlier. They were penniless. The two went hungry for a night, and as soon as it dawned, they stumbled back into the city.

  Returning to the city, Lin Xiyue's first move was to inquire about the Shen family. Soon, she learned that she had died in childbirth, leaving behind a son. Shen Jinglu was grief-stricken and spent the entire night holding his son in the delivery room.

  As soon as she heard this, Lin Xiyue wanted to tell her husband immediately that she was not dead, but had become He Huan. She took only two steps before stopping in her tracks.

  All along, she had been on her guard against He Huan. Today, she went to the Shen family in He Huan's identity, not only failing to see her son, but also humiliating herself.

  "Miss." Bai Meng gazed at Lin Xiyue with pleading eyes and said in a sorrowful tone, "Please don't think about Mr. Shen anymore."

  "Why can't I think?" Lin Xiyu looked up at the high wall of the Shen family. She told herself that she was no longer Lin Xiyu, but He Huan. No matter how heaven teased her, she would not bow to fate.

  "Miss?"

  Lin Xiyu clenched her fists and vowed solemnly, word by word: "Lin Xiyu is already dead. I, He Huan, will one day become Mrs. Shen."

  "Miss." Bai Rou immediately burst into tears again, sobbing and pleading: "Sister Miss has a wicked heart, she said..."

  "I remember what she said." Lin Xiyu furrowed her brow. She had threatened He Huan that if she came within a foot of Shen Jingliu or set half a step into the Shen household, she would kill her younger brother He Jing and make it impossible for the He family to stand in Jizhou again. Although she wouldn't actually go so far as to take a life, she had indeed arranged many things to prevent people from the He family from approaching either the Lin or Shen households. In today's situation, she was simply binding herself up in her own cocoon.

  She silently recited the two words "He Huan", forcing herself to accept her new identity. For her son, for her mother and brother, she had to forget "Lin Xiyu" and truly integrate into He Huan's life, step by step planning for the future.

  The two returned to the He residence almost at three o'clock. Lin Xiyue, or rather, He Huan, saw her younger brother He Jing sitting on the threshold of the house and couldn't help but frown slightly.

  "Big sister!" He Jing saw them and quickly ran to He Huan's side, looking up at her.

  He Huan forced a smile. He Jing was brought back to the He family by his concubine, Cao Shi. "Why are you sitting on the threshold?" He Huan asked. She looked up and saw that the old gate of the He mansion was worn out, with the signboard hanging crookedly as if it would fall off at any moment, and even the two stone lions at the entrance looked listless.

  He Jingchao glanced inside the door and muttered in a low voice, "Second Aunt said that Eldest Sister didn't come back for one night, she must have abandoned us and left alone." The "Second Aunt" he mentioned was his own birth mother, Cao Shi. He had been adopted by the main house several years ago.

  He Huan squatted on the ground, looking at He Jing with a serious expression, and solemnly promised: "Jing brother, you are my only younger brother. I will never abandon you. I am still waiting for you to become the top scorer in the imperial examination, to ask the court for orders, to lead troops to eliminate pirates, and to avenge our father."

  "En." He Jing nodded heavily.

  He Huan patted his head and smiled, asking: "Have you eaten yet?" Seeing He Jing lower his eyes with a guilty conscience, she guessed that Cao Shi must have secretly given him something to eat. She pretended not to know and said: "Jing Di, big sister thought about it all night, from now on we can't rely on pawning things to make a living. Starting today, big sister will save money for you to go to the capital to take the imperial examination."

  "Sister, I've grown up now, I can help you with work. I...I can go out on the streets to find work."

  "Go find something to do, where can you study with a clear conscience. You can't even finish reading a book, how can you become the top student in high school, how can you avenge your father?"

  He Jing lowered her head and remained silent.

  "Jingdi, big sister knows you're very filial, but things can't go on like this at home, always quarreling and making a racket. First and foremost, we need to have food to eat before we can afford to hire a tutor for you, don't you think?"

  "Sister, I know you're good to me, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it."

  "Big sister, don't do anything. Later when you go back, just stay in the room and read books, no matter what happens, you can't come out. From now on, Second Aunt is Cao Yiniang, and Grandmother is Yiniang, remember?"

  He Jing opened her eyes wide in disbelief and stared at He Huan.

  He Huan grasped his hand, whispering a promise: "Big sister promises you, this is only temporary. Big sister does this just to hope everyone can be of one mind. This matter sounds easy but is extremely difficult to do. If even you don't support big sister, then big sister really has nowhere else to turn."