[Chapter Size: 5758 Words]This story is a fanfic with no iion of iing with the inal tent or for profit. Except for some OCs, all characters and the universe belong to Gee R. R. Martin. Just a way to satisfy my creativity.

  Jon Snow POVNorth, Winterfell, 289 AC (After quest).Slowly opening the lids of my eyes, I yawned and rubbed my hands on my face. I turned my head toward the open window and still saw no sign of dawn, so I thought to myself, 'it would be just another day in my life as a bastard.'

  "My life..." just thinking about it, I couldn't deny the feeling of a hole within me. A-day-old boy by name, leading a cruel lifestyle to the point of refleg his owen this way. My name is Jon Snow, and I live my life as the bastard of Winterfell, or at least I try, sihe world is cruel to bastards. In Winterfell, if people ignored me like air, I would have a much better life, but that's not the reality. I have a loving but absent father due to his work as the Warden of the North, the region with the rgest expahat match the size of most kingdoms bined. Oher hand, the North is the poorest a populous kingdom, due to its extreme enviro. Farming is very challenging, and life has always been harsh, with cold, hunger, not to mentios, pgues, and bandits.

  In winter, it's much worse, as it st for years, and its cruelty is tens of times worse than summer in the North. My father doesn't have the luxury to spend as much time as he would like with me and my siblings, as he has to keep this kingdom running and maintain bance as much as possible. I grew up in Winterfell alongside my brother Robb; we were inseparable before, even with his mother doing everything to keep us apart, and even though I envied him for being a true Stark, I still loved him and did my best to help him. However, the reality of being a bastard speaks louder. After our father went to the Greyjoy Rebellion war two years ago and brought a Greyjoy boy, Theon Greyjoy, as his prisoner, Robb quickly bonded with the boy and distanced himself from me, as Greyjoy wasted no time insulting my bastard status. At first, he no longer wanted my pany, which at the time made me cry whole nights, leadio seek help and affe from an imaginary mother I didn't even ked.

  I could go to father to cry, but that would only make Lady Catelyn hate me more and make my life even more of a hell, as she always does when I do something she doesn't like. But with all this happening, soon my heart began to harden, as I lost one of the few pilrs that would make me want to live a life in Winterfell, which was until then, my brother Robb, and his ge of attitude didn't help me much. A while after he distanced himself, he begaing me like someoh him, openly calling me a bastard and how my presence was an insult to him and his mother, just like the Greyjoy that motivated him to act this way. I had my proud skills with the bde, and i two years, I had to tain them, as I couldn't afford to have more retaliation against me.

  I've always beeer than Robb with the sword, but if I were to defeat him in public, I'd have a week of hell behind me. Lady Catelyn would do everything to sow chaos upon me during that week in revenge, just because I showed any talent superior to her eldest son, which I personally fouy. So, I ended up letting Robb win; this always resulted in Lady Catelyn's ents that a bastard will never beat a legitimate son. Of course, this didn't happen when Father was around, and Robb followed his example, saying he's always superior to my skills as a swordsman, something I learo ignore over time.

  My sister Sansa didn't help much with this life a few years ago either. We were very close as children, used to py, Robb, Sansa, and I. Robb pyed the role of the vilin, and I pyed the knight who would save Sansa, who was the princess iower. However, this didn't tinue a few years ter. After learning about my bastard status and desperately wanting her mother's approval, she began to distance herself and insult me. Soon, she avoided me everywhere and didn't even look at me anymore. Her only words regarding me were how I was a stain on the family and how I shouldn't even e near her, let aloalk to her. When Lady Catelyn witnessed such situations, I always saw her smiling.

  But not everything was lost yet. I had two people I loved very mu this castle, and one of them was my younger sister, Arya. We loved each other like none of my other siblings. Arya, who was always scolded by Lady Catelyn for our closeness, even after the punishments, the little wolf had hot blood and opped seeing me or loving me as her brother. She didn't care about who was the mother who gave birth to me, always saying that I was her brother and her family. Our father kept saying that she was unique among his children with wolf's blood and cimed she was like his sister, Lyanna Stark, inate in appearand behavior.

  Although Arya was only 4 namedays old, she was my light in this hole for the past two years. She always escaped the septa who trained her is of Southern dies, arts that boiled down to dang, sewing, singing, and listening to stories among dies. However, the little wolf fiercely denied being a dy and always ran away from her lessons. I had to help a few times, always ending up pying hide and seek with Lady Catelyn in some er of the castle. She always said she didn't care about my bastard status and decred that I was her true brother, whom she loved the most. She even defended me in public to Lady Catelyn's displeasure many times.

  I had another brother, Bran. I loved him too, but the ges in Sansa and Robb hardened my heart, and I loved no one more than Arya. Still, I showed my affe for the child Bran whenever I had a ce, as Lady Catelyn didn't like me around her 2-year-old.

  My father was the sed person I loved most in the castle, my guide whenever I had a ce. I always avoided talking about my situation in the castle since, as the Warden of the North, he always had other s for the realm instead of taking care of his bastard child, tormented by his own wife. Holy, I was afraid that my pints would make everything worse, so I suffered in silence. Of course, even though I loved him, I harbored some reseowards him. He always treated me with resped defended me from unjust things when he was around. He even gave harsh punishments to Robb and Greyjoy for offending me in public when Lord Stark withe behavior of the two children, but that didn't stop the insults behind the eyes of the Lord of Winterfell.

  Over the years, the two heirs began to misbehave, and the sequences of these as started falling on my shoulders, even though I had nothing to do with what happened. Bming a bastard child for the as of legitimate children was seen as something right for them, and I couldn't even defend myself. Even if I did defend myself, I was always seen as a liar and accused to incrimihe eldest son of the Starks. Making Lady Catelyn show that she's right when she says: bastards are liars, treacherous, and covet everything from legitimate children, trying to take everything that is rightfully theirs.

  I hold a grudge against my father because even though I am a bastard, I am still his son, and whether he likes it or not, he lets me live in this hole full of people who are almost all against my existence, refusing even to tell me anything about my own mother. Several times I thought about running away from Winterfell; I wao know who my mother was to have a dire to go when I left the castle, but my father always denied, and I could only cry and yearn for this supposed mother when I felt the cold in the nights that the North reminded us that we are at the top of the ti. Unlike my siblings, my room is not part of the hot springs heating system, the system underh the castle. In fact, my room was worse than the servants'. Lady Catelyn made sure to remihat I was not her son and that I was unwanted. My clothes were not always suitable for the cold; they were all worn and thin for a cold night, and if that wasn't enough for the dy of Winterfell, she liked to torment me. She sometimes asked her southern servants to put "a little" salt in my food. So many times, my pany during the nights was the cold, hunger, and tears for my unknown mother.

  Even as an 8-nameday-old child, I had already discovered how harsh life be and wondered why I existed, if I had done something to deserve what I was going through? And st night was no different, just thinking about it, my face quickly revealed my frustration, and I ched my fists while gritting my teeth. The past day, I was once again bmed for the as of Robb and Theon.Fshback -

  The two boys stole from a servant who had just received his wages for the week, and the reason for a Northern lord's son to steal s along with the heir of Pyke? Simply the thrill of the danger of getting caught and being able to spend mo the brothel with Theon without Lord Stark suspeg. Theon, at 12 namedays, would be trying a prostitute for the first time, and Robb would be watg and having fun with his friend since he was just a child like me. However, their aded with them being caught sneaking out with the purse.

  The servant had already noticed the disappearand desperately informed other servants and guards who, in turn, quickly went after the thief. After catg them, they were brought before Lady Catelyn, the Lady of Winterfell, who had to e up with a pn in this situation, as it would be a sdal for the heir of Winterfell to steal from a servant if that went public. It also didn't help the other fact that the servant had already informed others in the castle about the disappearance of his s. She needed a scapegoat now. She also couldn't tolerate such behavior from Robb, but that she would deal with ter.

  So she ordered some servants to call me when I was ing the stable with Hodor. I went to her already imagining what it could be. As soon as I ehe room, I saw some southern guards and one of Catelyn's servants. They were looking at me with plicated eyes. Lady Catelyn had a scowl, Theon had a mog smile, and Robb had a gaze toward the ground, refusing to look me in the eyes. Realizing it would be aough day, I said:

  "Lady Catelyn, how may I assist you?" I asked with a ral voice, knowing what could e of this.

  Lady Catelyn, still scowling and with a voice full of anger and disgust, shouted:

  "YOU, YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM A SERVANT IN THE CASTLE? IS THIS HOW YOU REPAY THE STARKS AFTER THEY'VE TAKEN YOU IN FOR SO MANY YEARS? YOU SHOULD FREEZE OUTSIDE THE CASTLE LIKE THE BASTARD YOU ARE!"

  I went pale. She had always treated me poorly and insulted me, but acg me of theft? And suggesting that I should freeze outside the castle?

  "Lady Catelyn, I don't uand." I trembled and said, trying to hide my trembling void the tears that had been accumuting in my eyes. Once again, I realized the reality that the world py shoulders. "Why are you acg me of stealing from a servant?"

  Without ging her expression and the disgust in her voice, she smmed her hand oable, increasing the severity of her voice even more.

  "You, wicked creature, stole from a servant who had just received his wages. There is evidence of your vile deeds, you will be punished as we must punish an evil child. Everyone in this room saw you stealing a short while ago, do you deny it, BASTARD?"

  I could no longer deny my tears, who am I fooling? I already uood what was happening here, even me, a child with not even 10 namedays, khe situation and why she was doing all this, ensuring that her son escapes punishment for the theft and ensuring that her servants are part of the act. I summoned all the dignity within me, as my father taught me about honor and fighting for what is right, and said, I would not run away this time.

  "Lady Catelyn, I was iable with Hodor the whole afternoon; he firm that!" I excimed, staring into her eyes. My voice still came out trembling; tears were streaming down my face. I wasn't angry; I couldn't be; it was a lost situation, and the only feelings of a lonely child like me fag the situation were fear and despair, even in the fay innoce. Lady Catelyn scoffed at me and said, "BASTARD! ARE YOU TELLING ME HODOR IS INVOLVED IN THIS TOO?" She shouted once again. This was a shoe; how would this situatioo the punishment of another i person? I knew Lady Catelyn never liked Old Nan; she despised Northern culture and had managed over the years to ge most of Winterfell's servants into her southern servants and followers of the Seven. Some of the few who remained had equal reater respect for Old Nan than Lady Catelyn herself.

  Catelyn hated that; she was angry at the older woman with all her Northern culture and fantasy-filled stories. Lady Catelyn cimed that it would corrupt her children ahe true gods with fantasies of wild heretics. Of course, this was always discreet; the father would never agree with it. And she couldn't do anything to the older woman; the father was very firm about Old Nan. Catelyn could never act against her; she had to merely tolerate her presence. And here I was, being her scapegoat to save her son's reputation and creating an opening to act against Old Nan? Hodor was a man of few words, but he was truly ho, loyal, and kind. The only word that es out of his mouth is a speeotions, and no one in the Seven Kingdoms has that ability. How could I let an i person suffer the same fate as me?

  I was i, but it was a lost cause. No matter how much I shouted, I would never e out well from the situation and would only worsen my life. I was afraid of the dire this would take; my only alternative would be to cause as little damage as possible. I was looking at the ground as I thought about all this; how could I look at someone in this humiliating state? I was w if I would be a happier child outside of here, maybe in an orphanage in King's Landing, or if my existence was really a curse and a disgrace to the world and the people close to me.

  After all these years, with the words my father taught me about honor and doing what is right? The right thing would be to tell the truth, but that would only drive the situation even crazier, as everything was already against me, a bastard denying his ow with 5 supposed witnesses? It was on this day that I discovered that honor and doing what is right sometimes mean nothing. I lifted my head and looked into her eyes; my gaze shoh a question for her, that I, a child, really deserved such a fate? I noticed that this uled her for a moment, but soon after, she returo her current scowl. Seeing that this would lead to nothing, I finally opened my mouth and said, "No, Hodor is not involved in this, I lied, I stole the s aloo buy sweets in Wiown." I said in the most ral voice I could muster while the tears were already drying on my cheeks; I was even tired .

  The room fell silent. As the guards and the servant khe truth, they had the decy to at least give me a more plicated and sympathetic look. Robb ched his fists; he wouldn't deny with bitterness in his throat. He would let his half-brother take the bme for him, even knowing that his father would never let him go unpunished and would be very disappointed in his heir. He trusted a his mother hahe situation. Theon opened a wider smile after that. How could he not? He had the bastard to take the bme for his and Robb's as.

  Lady Catelyn had an approving look on her fad said, "As I said, bastard, we have evidehe whole room saw you stealing. Now leave. We will inform Lord Stark to see what we will do with you. Thefts usually involve a lost hand as punishment." She said mogly.

  I was startled, as was everyone in the room. How could I not be? How could an adult woman insihat a child would lose his hand when she herself knows that I had nothing to do with the theft? And even Theon looked at me scared for a moment. I was so scared that I simply ran out of the room in desperation. I ran as fast as I could, passing everyone in the castle who wondered why the bastard had such behavior. My goal was to reach the only pce that could make me feel better as quickly as possible: the sacred grove, the only pce that calmed me down and a bit of the pces in Winterfell that Lady Catelyn didn't like to be.

  Alone, I saw the heart tree with its carved fad red leaves everywhere. I walked up to it; I was sure that if I could see myself now, I would see a lifeless look on my face. I walked slowly, stopped g a while ago, and keeping the same look, I k in front of the tree, and I kept staring at the fa the tree. I didn't know how much time passed while I looked at that face, but it must have been hours because when I looked away for the first time, it was already night and cold, something I hadn't noticed until then, and it was on a scale that I should already be in my room at this moment. I looked at the tree again and asked the same question that I had been asking myself mentally for hours since I arrived in front of the tree.

  "Why do I have to gh all of this?" I murmured.

  Fshback - end

  Currently -

  I started g silently with my despair. I muttered to myself softly. "Mother... please save me from this world... please, mother... *SOB* save me, mother..."

  This sted for hours too because when I noticed the sun, it was already in a position indig the end of the m, and I still had a lifeless look in a er, as I couldn't; I was afraid of losing my hand because of Lady Catelyn's threat. I snapped out of my current state when I heard a kno the door. I got up to open it, but I was still trembling when I pulled the handle. I ope, and I quickly realized it was Jory; he had a look of disappoi and disgust in his eyes. 'So the rumor has already spread throughout the castle...' I thought bitterly. Jory breaking the silence, said with a voice that matched his face."Jon Snow, Lord Stark is summoning you to his sor." He said.

  "Yes, Captain of the Guard, give me 1 minute," I said ao ge into different clothes.

  After ging, I went to the castle corridor apanied by Jory. Me, an 8-year-old child, was now being treated like a criminal? I had a reputation for having bad behavior, as I was always bmed for the as of the two heirs, and there were rumors and gossip that cimed bastards naturally had such behaviors. So, they never questioned my guilt, and Lady Catelyn made sure to have witnesses for the crimes never accuse the heirs when caught. But I noticed how the looks of the servants ged too; it wasn't the same disdainful look as before; their eyes had anger, disgust, and satisfa for me being escorted by a guard. I heard some ents and struggled not to cry for what I was hearing.

  "See the bastard? Stealing at this age, already showing signs of a criminal, who would stop him from killing Stark children iure?" Said a voice I didn't reize.

  When I heard that, I could no longer feel the ground under my feet; I was furious and desperate. "How dare they say that I would hurt my siblings?" I shouted mentally. I would never hurt Robb, even after what he did. I despise him and pity the path he is taking along with Greyjoy, but I never saw myself wanting to hurt him or take Winterfell, much less kill him.

  Lady Catelyn fears that one day I might take Winterfell from Robb, but I never wanted Winterfell, hought of being a lord; being a lord should not be a privilege; it is a responsibility and a burden. I always had a dream of being a Stark and being reized by the world as such; I had this dream sihe moment I discovered what the word bastard meant, but never a lord, much less o the expense of my brothers.

  Doing my best to ignore all the looks along the way, I never wished so much that my room was closer to my father's sor like now; then I could walk and pretend that the world wasn't the world. Arriving, Jory ehe door first and then called me; wheered and saw my father and Lady Catelyn beside him, both evaluating me, my father with pure anger on his fad his wife with a look of disgust, a minute passed, and no one said anything, but after a while, my father spoke, finally breaking the silence.

  "Jory, escort Lady Stark to her room, please," he said.

  "Ned, I remember asking to stay." She retorted, not happy with the turn of the situation. She probably wao make sure I unished.

  "Catelyn, this is about my son, now if you'll excuse us..." he said, uo hide all the disappoi in his voice for the situation when he said son.

  "his has gooo far, I hope you act as I said." She said angrily and started walking to the door, but didn't fail to appreciate my existen her way before leaving.

  "AND YOU, YOU BASTARD, YOU BETTER NOT E NEAR ARYA AND BRAN AGAIN, YOU ARE A THREAT TO OUR FAMILY!" She shouted.

  I couldn't think of anything and could only have ay look; I was being mistreated like a dog all the time and from all dires, I wondered if there really was any god at this moment, I would like to ask if my existence could be better than causing disdain in the people around me, I knew I was i, but the psychological abuse of all this was affeg me.

  "GET OUT OF HERE NOW, CATELYN! YOU NEVER DARE TO SPEAK LIKE THAT TO HIM IN MY PRESENCE!!" My father shouted with a tone I had never heard before; it startled me as well. I had seen him disappointed with me when Theon and Robb's pranks fell on me as the scapegoat, but I never heard even half of the voice I heard now; my father was so angry that no one in the castle should have seen him in such a state before.

  Catelyn's face turned pale, and she looked frightened by my father's anger. She began to cry and quickly left the room after Jory closed the door.

  I looked at my father, who didn't lower his voice; he began to say, "JON, WHAT HAPPENED? WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO STEAL FROM A SERVANT? I WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN BECAUSE I DID NOT RAISE A SON TO BE A THIEF!" He thundered, and I shrank.

  I had always dreamed of being a proud Stark, reized as someone whht s pride to his brother and father, maybe his mother one day when I find out who she is. But the reality is different now; once upon a time, there was a boy who dreamed of being a Stark one day, but now, the same boy is being treated as the shame of the family, and now not because of his birth, but his as.

  I could only cry, not meeting my father's gaze. How could I? I wao tell the truth to my father, wanted my father to know that he was not a disappoi, but how could he? The world was against him, nothing he said could help him. All the servants would testify against him, and he already doesn't have a very good reputation in the castle. He could only say, "I-I'm sorry...*SOB*... Fa-father...*SOB*." I was g again; I couldn't alleviate the situation or tell the truth, imagining how the bastard would be acg the true son of being the real thief; he would be killed or thrown into a dungeon for the rest of his life, he feared just thinking about it. He could then try to minimize as much as possible to not put Hodor in the same situation as him.

  "Dad...*SOB*... I stole the moo buy sweets, I'm sorry, I ran away from the stable when Hodor wasn't looking, *SOB* Hodor has nothing to do with it, don't bme him...*SOB* I'm leaving now, Dad... I won't be a shame to your marriage anymore...*SOB* and a disappoio your family... I'll be going away...*SOB*"

  ---

  **Eddard Stark POV****Winterfell, 289 AC, at the same moment.**

  I was listening to those words, standing there pale in an instant. A child saying such words... how could someone like an 8-year-old survive outside the castle walls? The world wouldn't be the same with such things, if that were possible... His face, which was angry until a short time ago, ged to an expression of and a bit of despair for Jon. How could it not? His beloved nephew/son did something he never imagined he could do. Jon wasn't raised for this, and even though i two years, with the strange ges in behavior, being a bit more rebellious, getting into trouble, and me having to give him a few sermons on a while, it should be normal. I found it normal due to the distance from his older cousin/brother. Even though I had talked to Robb to stay close to his brother, who was also a wolf in the pack, even though he had the status of a bastard, I never mao get my eldest son to reect with Jon again.

  On my attempts, Robb told me that Jon didn't deserve to be by his side because he was a bastard. Of course, it was an unfettable day for my heir, and I made sure the punishment was memorable. He never spoke about Jon's status in front of me again after that, but he didn't follow the advice to get close to his brain. Thus, I could only sigh because of the situation.

  And now I looked at the boy in front of me, w where I went wrong in his upbringing for him to behave the way he did, and now he's saying he wants to leave. At this moment, I thought of my sister, the sister I loved, and now all that was left of her was this child, ohat I loved as my own son too. I could even see Lyanna staring at me with disappoi behind the child, bming me for letting it get to this point. I ged my tone from anger in my voice to one of and said, "Jon... I..." I said slowly, trying to find a solution to the situation, but young Jon interrupted me before I could finish.

  "Father, before that, you tell me about my mother?" Jon shot out without giving me a ce to speak. Jon was desperate, pnning to leave and try to live somewhere else outside the castle. He didn't want to be more of a nuisahan he already is within the castle and his family. With this situation, he couldn't stay any longer; he o leave.

  "*SOB* I need a dire in my life now, *SOB* I o find her." Jon tio say as he cried and sobbed.

  "Jon... I'm sorry..." I said carefully, while my heart was breaking with every word from the boy I had raised since he was a baby when I brought him to the castle more than 8 years ago.

  "PLEASE, FATHER!" Jon cut his father off again, pleading, and looked into his eyes for the first time.

  "I 't, my son..." I finally spoke, full of pain, and Jon uood that. He once again asked a question with the most trembling voice as tears streamed down his eyes even more.

  "Is she Dead...?" Jon asked me in the hope that I could deny it to him, that she was alive somewhere waiting for him. It hurt me too since I always avoided talking about her at all costs. The memories of Lya brought me a lot of pain.

  "Yes, son... She died a long time ago, but she always said she loved you more than anything." I choked on releasing those words, couldn't even look at Jon as I spoke.

  Then I realized the silehat settled in the room. I looked at Jon again, worried about his rea after those words, and ended up seeing one of the most poignant things in my life... an 8-year-old boy, letting his tears flow silently from his eyes. But in his eyes, those gray eyes showed something I will never fet in life, a child with a lifeless gaze.

  The boy fainted shortly after, falling to the floor. I stood there paralyzed for a while with the vision of a few moments ago, as I shouldn't have, as the child, who was the son of his beloved sister, reached the point of desperation to show a look of how all the hope in his world colpsed. It was as if he no longer had the will to live. I could see Lya with all the anger in the world burning all of Winterfell for her son to reach this state.

  'What kind of life has he lived under my roof to e to this? This isn't right! Something is going ohat doesn't add up, and I have to figure it out,' I excimed mentally. I ran to Jon on the floor shortly after snapping out of my stuate. I had been rooted ihe moment the boy fell to the ground. When I reached his side, I lifted him to see if he had been hurt in the fall, but fortunately, his body was fine. However, what I feared now was his psychological state.

  I didn't have much time to dwell on it as the door suddenly swung open. It was Maester Luwin, who entered without knog, his fadig that something had happened. Ned wondered what had occurred, and the maester seemed a bit startled wheiced Jon unscious in Lord Stark's arms. Then he spoke.

  "Lord Stark, what happeo the boy? I came here because your wife fainted and was taken to the infirmary. She's fine, however; she has something to tell you personally." He finished with a solemn expression but then looked at Jon with . I picked up on this, and a thousand ideas of what had happened crossed my mind. Giveer Luwin's expression, it was certainly something that would make me happy.

  What would make a man happy after his wife faio the point of going to the infirmary? A child! The news of his fifth child! But at the same time, I was ed about Jon's situation, and I looked at the boy for a moment. Even unscious, his face showed the expressions of his feelings, and the voice eg in his mind didn't help much. "Promise me, Ned! Promise me you'll protect him... NED, promise me... my son..."

  I o see what's happening under my own roof ter to uand what made this child fall into this state. Jon was filled with traumas that he would carry for the rest of his life, and I khat just by looking at the child. If Jon behaved like a rebellious child to the point of stealing, I could uand, and it would make me furious, but I would make Jon learn from his mistakes and correct his behavior.

  However, there were more things I o find out about Jon. I khat what I saw today on the child's face would haunt me for the rest of my life. I sidered a radical solution to find out what was happening in my own home, even if I had to start exeg people or someoo find out if someone lotting against Jon. I knew my nephew wasn't well-liked in the castle, but I hought someone might be harming him. I hahe child to the maester and gave o look at my boy, 'I hope I'm right with the as I'm going to take,' I thought.

  Maester Luwin noticed this but remained silent. A few moments ter, I asked Luwin to take Jon to his room ao the infirmary. I wao have the joy of hearing the news of his fifth child now.