1

  Dying and undying

  Finally, it was Friday night. I had been pulling twelve-hour days all week and was thoroughly ready for a couple of days off. I'd been replaying an old RPG with a few new mods adding a bunch of zombies and skeletons; it had completely consumed my free time this past month.

  The one good thing about working so much, aside from a little bit of money, was that video games lasted a long time when you could only play an hour or so each day. I refused to go after the final boss, instead exploring and leveling, so my character was far overpowered at this point, and I could blitz through a dungeon in a single night with no problem.

  “Hey Rob, you coming for drinks?” Chris always tried to include me despite my introverted ways.

  We had met at work, and while driving delivery trucks didn't offer a lot of face time with coworkers, we became fast friends. The radios and cell phones we all had were one of only a couple of options for staying awake on the mind-numbing drives, so we all kept in touch while we worked. We had been friends for years now, and I did join them all for some of the more social after-work events once in a while, but most days I begged off.

  “Nah, I’m still not right after last time. Whose idea was it to pound a glass of straight Everclear again?” I answered, but the memory still sent a shiver up my spine.

  Chris laughed, “Yours, you were the only one who mentioned it and the only one who did it. I’m just impressed you managed to stay vertical for another ten minutes after that.”

  “Well, never again, I don't know how something can be a liquid but instantly dry your mouth on contact; that shit is straight poison. Nope, I’m just gonna play some video games and maybe read a book or something.”

  “Suit yourself; you'll never find a girlfriend if you stay home all day.” Chris shrugged

  We made our way to the time clock and clocked out before walking to the parking lot. The mornings when we came in and evenings when we were about to leave were the only face time we had with each other on most days, so we tended to chat the whole time, even though we spoke over the radio for most of the day as well.

  “Hah, I can’t afford to fix my damn truck door! How can I afford a girlfriend?"

  As if to prove my point, the door, which had been bent inward when some jackass sideswiped me years before, stuck... again.

  Chris shook his head, “You still haven’t got that thing fixed? How much can it cost?”

  I spoke in between grunts as I yanked on the handle, “Well, they say they have to replace the whole...”

  I never finished my sentence.

  The door had opened and smacked me in the face. There was a sharp flash of pain that passed immediately, but it seemed to take all sound with it. Not only had Chris stopped talking, but even the sounds from the road had stopped.

  I looked around and tried to speak, but no sound came out, and the color had all drained from the world, leaving everything in grayscale. Chris stood motionless to the side. I would think it was some kind of joke, but he wasn't blinking or even breathing. Everything had frozen. Suddenly, I heard a rustling behind me and spun.

  Standing directly behind me was a man in a business suit flipping through papers on a clipboard. He looked just like a regular businessman. Nothing seemed noteworthy about the man except that he was moving and was in color. Not much color, I'll grant you; his suit was black and white, and his face was pale beyond what seemed healthy. The only true color was on his tie, which featured a Hawaiian print.

  The man was mumbling to himself, but in the silence it carried, and I heard him clearly say, “No, there shouldn't be anyone in this area for another two days. Clearly, that’s not right; don’t tell me they mixed up the paperwork again.”

  The speed at which he flipped through the papers on his clipboard increased and increased until his hand was a blur, and the papers seemed ready to fly free. Suddenly, his gaze snapped to me, and his flipping stopped.

  “Who are you?” he asked in a different voice, the tone now much deeper and seeming to carry the weight of the world behind it.

  A terrible, inexplicable dread filled me suddenly, and I tried to run but my feet wouldn't move. Then, without my willing it, and despite my previous inability to make a sound, I spoke.

  “I am Robert Alugard.”

  “Robert Alugard… Alright, wait a moment.”

  Suddenly, he held a massive book; the thing was larger than I was and shouldn’t have fit in between the vehicles in the parking lot. The impossible dimensions of the book didn't slow the man down, and the book was either nearly weightless or he was unreasonably strong as he easily held it in one hand while flipping through it with the other.

  "A... L... U... G... No, no, Robert.” His gaze pierced me again. “You didn't lie, did you? When were you born?”

  Again, the answer came on its own, “I didn't lie; I was born January 1, 2000.”

  This odd situation was making me panic, but for some reason, the feeling was becoming more and more muted by the second. Soon, I was finding it hard to call up any emotions, even fear, and it only became more difficult as time went on. Then it was hard to remember what fear felt like. That thought should have been frightening in itself, but... nothing.

  “AH shit,” The pale man cursed, slamming the book closed, “You’re one of those... And...”

  He looked around for a moment before throwing up his hands. Somehow the massive book was launched into the air and promptly vanished.

  “Well, this is a problem, isn't it? You’ve broken something like a dozen rules already. How am I supposed to sort this out?” He shouted.

  Whatever compulsion to answer that I was under seemed to be in effect still, and so I did, “I do not have sufficient information on the problem to decide upon a satisfactory solution.”

  That seemed to startle the man, and he looked at me a bit closer for a moment before chuckling and shrugging.

  “Fuck it, let's see what you can come up with. I'm the Grim Reaper. You died just now... smacked yourself right in the nose with the truck door there, drove cartilage into your brain, and died instantly. Shit happens; people die all the time. Now normally I would send you off to be judged, and then your afterlife would be decided upon, except I can't do that since it would break a couple of rules.”

  He dropped several bombshells in a single breath, and I really needed time to process, but he didn’t give me any.

  “First, you shouldn't exist, Y2K... You know what that is? The day that clocks rolled over to the year 2000, the computers that held all the data on everyone alive reset. It wasn't a big deal; nothing crashed or anything, but the reset took a full minute. Anyone born for that minute wasn't put on the records and therefore should not exist. That little hiccup is why we are back to using the Book of Everyone that you just saw. Unfortunately, you not actually existing means I can't send you to be judged. We don't have records on you.

  Second, the isekai rule. This is a fairly new one, and we should definitely remove it, but... rules are rules. Anyone who dies by being hit by a truck is sent to another world in another dimension. No exceptions. You, my friend, just hit yourself with a truck door and died…”

  The Reaper shook his head before continuing, “Yep, no exceptions... Normally I would pretend to be a god or goddess, give you some special power that makes you far too powerful for the new world, and send you off to cause some terrible chaos before sending another unwitting soul after you with the mission to stop the new evil overlord, Robert. Can't do that since you don't exist.”

  Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “As a fun side note, since you are also the truck driver who killed the innocent soul early, you lose any special power or benefit you would get upon your death. That includes the overpowered ability that I can't give you anyway since YOU DON'T EXIST. So... what is your solution, Rob?”

  I tried to think, but my body mindlessly spoke in my place, asking a few follow-up questions, “Can I be added to the list of people?”

  “Nope, If your death was unjust, I could have returned you to life in a new body with no memories, but you did it to yourself. You aren't allowed to live again. Except you HAVE to be allowed to live again; I have to send you to another world after all.”

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  “Can't I just be judged like anyone else who died?” My body asked this time, and I agreed with that line of questioning.

  "Nope. You don't exist, so you can’t die.”

  “Then you have to send me to another world; I won't get any special power, and I am not allowed to be dead or alive since I never existed.”

  The Reaper looked satisfied with my summary, “Yep, that’s about the size of it, so what solution does the human mind come up with?”

  I still couldn’t respond the way I wanted, which was to scream at everything really. Still, if I was meant to be dead but also alive, there was only one way I could think of for that to work.

  "Undead," I said in a monotone, totally void of emotion.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Send me to another world, one that includes monsters, and make me an undead. I won't get any special power, and I won't be alive or dead.”

  There was a long pause during which the Reaper blinked at me several times. Then he pulled his massive book from thin air again and flipped back and forth several times before bursting into laughter.

  “Alright, Rob, I will send you to a world called Taream. The world is governed by the standard Isekai tropes of a system with stats, dungeons, monsters, magic, etcetera. You know what that means?”

  I did actually; I would basically be a video game character in a game world.

  My body nodded.

  I didn’t WANT to be dead... but if I were dead then a second chance would be nice, and one in a video game world was a bit of a nerd dream come true.

  ”You will be a level three zombie.”

  The Reaper seemed to be waiting for something that didn’t come.

  “A zombie… You will be Rob the zombie... Ah hell, Gen Z doesn’t know anything about music. Whatever, good luck, Rob, enjoy your new life.. er... unlife.”

  He waved a hand, and the world twisted away.

  When I came to, I was lying in a forest. The emotions that had been fading to nothing had returned somewhat. They were still muted, but I definitely felt several emotions all at once: fear of the unknown situation, anger at the nonsensical treatment by the Reaper person, despair at suddenly losing everything, and… yes that was excitement, excitement at being in a new fantasy world.

  I pushed myself into a seated position, a groan of pain escaping my mouth. My emotions may be muted, but I felt pain and soreness just fine. A quick look around revealed that I was indeed in a forest.

  Trees, brush, and animal calls surrounded me in every direction. Nothing looked especially magical or fantastical, as one would expect from a fantasy world. This could have been a forest in any temperate part of Earth.

  I remembered that I was supposed to have some sort of system with stats, and I was even meant to be level 3. There would surely be some way to view that informati…

  Name: Rob

  Classification: Unaffiliated Monster

  Race: Elf Zombie

  Level: 3

  Well, that was quite easy. The words appeared in my vision before I even finished thinking that I wanted to see them. There wasn't much there, though. Unaffiliated Monster... that made some sense, but also implied that there were some sort of affiliations that monsters might have.

  Then there was the race, Elf Zombie. Elf? That was odd; I touched my ears, and they did indeed have the stereotypical long pointy ends; why was I an Elf Zombie and not a Human one? I lifted my hand to look, and yes, my fingers were skin and bone, and white as a sheet as one would expect from a zombie. I couldn’t tell what my face looked like, but examining my limbs revealed that I was a gaunt bony decaying corpse. I seemed to be wearing some sort of rags that definitely wouldn’t count as clothes, but at least I had something on.

  Again, my emotions being dulled seemed to be helping with the overwhelming nature of my current situation. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not, but for now, I was grateful that I wasn't a blubbering mess even after dying, meeting the damn Grim Reaper, being sent to another world, and then undying all over a few minutes.

  My thoughts were cut short when movement in the brush nearby drew my attention. Something was here. I struggled to my feet. It seemed like my body wasn't just decaying for show, but my limbs didn't want to function properly either. By the time I managed to right myself and take up something like a fighting stance, the terrible beast had emerged.

  Before me stood a… squirrel.

  Well, it could have been a wild rampaging dragon, so I felt justified in my caution.

  The small furry creature didn't seem to notice or care about me in the slightest as it continued on its way doing whatever squirrels did. As it passed, I watched it warily. This was supposedly a fantasy world with magic and monsters; who knew what it might end up doing?

  Name: Squirrely McSquirrel

  Classification: Unknown Critter

  Race: Squirrel

  Level: 0

  Huh, seems like I was able to examine other creatures and see an information page similar to my own, which would probably end up being handy. What was with that name, though? Did squirrel parents name their offspring? If they did, then this particular squirrel should look into getting new parents. The naming sense was... not good.

  The tiny critter ran off and left me to myself. Welp, this was a new world, and some sort of fantasy adventure surely waited just over the next hill, so off I went.

  It would have been nice to find myself in a town, or grassland, or anything with easier travel than a damn forest. It was clear this forest had little wildlife and even fewer people visiting. I couldn’t find a game trail to save my life, so I had to struggle through the overgrowth to make any progress.

  I couldn't really feel temperature with this dead body, but if I could, I would definitely be sweating buckets while trying to blaze a trail through the brush, some fantasy adventure this was.

  I had been at it a while, but I couldn't tell time by the sun without being able to see the sun; there were too many trees, and I could only glimpse the sky between the leaves. Thinking about it, trying to tell time by the sun was assuming the sun rose and set on this world like it did on Earth. Still, it must have been several hours before I finally found myself in a small clearing. The term ‘clearing' was deceptive though, as it was really just a space of a dozen feet or so without any trees, and the treetops still blocked out the sky all the way through.

  I had passed a few places with similar spacing between trees, but until this one, they had all been overgrown with brush to the point that I wasn't able to enter without some sort of tool to cut away at the plants. This clearing, though, did not have the same growth, not anymore at least.

  It was clear that this area had just as much life in it at one point, but something had killed all of the plants. All the vines and brush, and even part of one tree had turned black. Except for the half-dead tree, all the plants had withered and fallen, leaving a truly empty space between the trees in an almost perfect circle.

  As I stood at the edge of the dead clearing a strange feeling rose within. My emotions had been muted ever since dying, but now I felt one even more strongly than I had even in life: desire. Whatever was at the center of this circle, I wanted it, I NEEDED it. Without having been addicted to anything in life, except maybe soda, it was hard to say for sure, but this felt like I had been addicted to something for a long time but kept clean, only to now be seeing it right in front of me, calling.

  Without fully realizing what I was doing, I walked forward into the dead circle. As I drew closer to the center, the feeling grew. It was all that I could think of, and my hands were shaking.

  “What the hell is this?” I tried to ask, but it came out as a groan.

  I tried to summon up some trepidation, but now my dead emotions were working against me, and I couldn't care that I was probably near something dangerous. Was I about to re-die so soon after being dropped into this new world?

  I really wanted to adventure and fight monsters or something, not die to some weird irradiated meteorite or something. Still, my body moved on its own, and I dug an object out from a pile of dead plants.

  It was... a crown? Certainly, no ordinary crown since it was at the center of a ring of death, but it did look like a crown one would see on the head of some royalty or something. I reached down and touched it.

  “HEY!" A vaguely feminine voice called out.

  My hand jerked back as if burned. I looked around but couldn't find the source of the voice. My worries had finally overcome my unnatural desire for this thing, and I began to reconsider. Just then I heard movement from behind. Thinking it was the poorly named squirrel returning for vengeance, I turned to look. As my gaze left the odd crown, the strange, unnatural desire I felt dropped right off a cliff, and I only wanted to leave. The source of the sound made itself clear as I finished my turn. An honest-to-goodness goblin jumped out of a tree and into the clearing.

  The goblin looked to be straight out of a fantasy novel or video game. It was a three-foot-tall light green humanoid with a long pointed nose. It seemed the goblin had seen the crown as well, and its eyes locked onto it. I was fine with the weird little monster taking the crown, and I didn’t want to tangle with the nasty-looking spear it held, so I tried to backpedal away, but I bumped the crown with my foot as I passed. The moment I touched it, I heard the voice again.

  “Wait! Don’t leave me for that little...”

  The voice again cut away. This time I noticed it cut out the moment my foot lost contact. The goblin hadn't noticed any of this and may not have been aware of my presence at all. I suppose I probably looked just like this a moment ago, totally fixated and oblivious to the world around me. This was clearly some sort of powerful item that drew monsters. Maybe giving it to this goblin wasn't the best after all. I shifted just a bit to touch the crown once more and held the connection so I could hear the voice.

  "Oh, thank gods, you do understand me. Quick, put me on before that sentient booger gets his mitts on me!”

  I tried to ask what was going on but finally realized that I was not capable of making sounds aside from groans and moans. The crown seemed to understand my intent well enough though and answered my question anyway.

  "Look, there's no time; either fight that thing and kill it, and all the other monsters that show up until another one capable of thought shows up, or put me on yourself.”

  During the one-sided conversation, the goblin had drawn closer, finally noticing me just before entering arms reach. Realizing there was some competition for the prize, the goblin lifted his spear and started growling at me. Well, here was the adventure I wanted. I wasn’t going to be able to fight something with a weapon like that; I still had a hard time moving properly and had no weapons of my own. Either I put this weird crown on, or I tried shambling away to... do what?

  It wasn't like I had a lot of options, and I probably wouldn't find many fights easier than a goblin. Goblins were one of the weakest monsters in any game. Maybe that was the case here, maybe not, but if I ran from a goblin now, chances were good I would only find worse things.

  No, I needed to get stronger and level so I could have a proper fantasy adventure. This crown was some special sentient magic item; it should offer some sort of boost or something, right?

  I put the crown on, and the goblin screamed in rage and charged for a moment before freezing mid-stride. Time-freezing seemed to be a theme recently.

  “Great, I’m glad you decided not to be a mindless type of zombie; I’m sure we will be number one in no time.”

  Dungeon crown equipped

  Would you like to form a dungeon here?

  “You’re gonna want to agree; if you choose to wait, then short, dumb, and ugly over there will get his chance to take me back.”

  With a mental shrug, I thought.

  Yes

  Congratulations Rob

  You have successfully formed a dungeon

  Dungeon name: Dungeon #32476

  Dungeon type: Undead

  Dungeon level: 1

  Dungeon tier: cave

  Dungeon danger rank: 32476

  Dungeon popularity rank: n/a

  No rooms detected

  Please design boss chamber…