“You're thinking too much, just move your piece.”

  I do nothing. Five minutes pass.

  “Seriously? Xiang Rong don't think I don't see what you're doing.”

  I don't rise to the bait. Instead, I just keep looking at the board in seemingly deep contemplation.

  “Move your piece or I won't bring you a bottle next time!”

  I look up from the board slowly, a look of pure betrayal in my eyes. Teacher squirms in place uncomfortably, knowing she has gone too far.

  “Gah, enough of this! Take the bottle and begone from my sight.”

  “Thank you, Teacher!” My grin is blinding. Teacher scoffs.

  “Two-faced scoundrel, cheating student, bad student, drunkard student.” I ignore her grumbling in favour of pouring myself a glass of Divine Wine.

  Teacher's actually started showing me how to brew wine of my own, but as I am, the best I can do is a Mid-Grade Spiritual Wine. Divine Wine is so far above me at the moment I couldn't even begin the brewing process. As for what we were just doing? Playing Go. Well, in my case stalling Go since I know I can't win against an Immortal. This is a strat my stepfather showed me growing up, if you can't win, make your opponent quit.

  Then there's a knock on the door. I glance at it, then looking back at Teacher I notice she pulled another Batman disappearance on me. I'd be more worried if I wasn't sure I'd see her again tonight or tomorrow. Geez, she really just killed the mysterious mentor vibe before it could walk. Ah, whatever, it means more wine for me along with the eye candy that is my easily flustered Teacher.

  “My opinion of Immortals could not sink lower.” Yikes Shanny, that one was a bit harsh.

  “Enter,” I order to whomever knocked. Then I'm greeted by the sight of a man who takes up the entire door frame and has to duck to get in.

  “Lord Xiang, you had said you wished to go to the Jade Gambling Competition?” Fatty asks with a friendly grin.

  Finally, my time has come. On my way to steal opportunities again.

  “Very well. Inform Blue that he will be coming with us.”

  “Of course, Lord Xiang.” Fatty bows slightly and then leaves, almost hitting the door frame on his way out.

  “I'm not sure about this plan of yours,” Shan states wearily.

  “Don't doubt your betters.” It will work, trust.

  “Who am I to judge the plans of Heaven's Butcher?”

  Shanny… why are you like this?

  ///___///

  Need it be said, being able to see Halos of Providence is some peak bullshit. Unless its some poor other Heaven's chosen who showed up to the packed outside courtyard that's being used for the Jade Gambling competition. I don't think the tropes would allow two protagonists to be in one bowl at the same time, so fortunately, or in my case, unfortunately, I'm only able to plot around the one Golden Halo for the time being.

  “Lord Xiang, that's-”

  “I am aware, Fatty. The Merchant Guild Leader is the one clinging to him like a limpet?”

  “Xu Hao, you are correct Lord Xiang.” Fatty nods, and chins jiggle.

  “Then what of that woman heading towards us?” I inquire, as a rather fancy-dressed woman in a light green dress with a veil stomps our way. Fatty turns to look at her and seems to pale some.

  “That would be Courtesan Hua, she's the most influential Courtesan in Huanglong.” He quickly explains. “She's something of a stalker of mine, I hope you forgive me for having to flee.” He continues urgently. I just wave him off and he gives me a smile before rocketing off far faster than his size would seemingly allow.

  “Stalkers… Always so unpleasant.”

  I agree, Shanny, I agree.

  “Fatty Wang don't you dare run from me again!” Courtesan Hua, oblivious to Shan's and my thoughts of her, screeches as she starts bolting after him. Meh, not my problem. I turn to Blue instead, who seems to be praying for his sworn brother, Fatty. “Blue, you will pick some Jade for us.”

  “Master?” His eyes widen in shock.

  “Anything Jin Xiaotong starts heading towards, buy it under my name.” I wave off his surprise. Not telling him the second part of my plan. “Just do what I say and stop asking questions.”

  “Yes, Master!” He answers dutifully, not having asked any questions in the first place.

  The stage is set, now all I need to do is trip the lead actor. Repeatedly.

  ///_Lamb_///

  Jin Xiaotong is frustrated.

  For the first time in his life, his instincts are failing him.

  He can only look in anger and grievance as the unassuming man in a blue robe puts the marker of ‘Xiang Rong’ on the stone he had once again been heading towards. Grinding his teeth, he gets up from the ground and brushes the dirt off his knees.

  “Jin! Why do you keep falling!? All the stones will be sold at this rate!” The rat-faced Xu Hao grabs him by the arm and exclaims. Jin was half a mind to kill the man for treating him like this, yet he knows Xu Hao is his only way into the Night Auction.

  “Someone keeps tripping me!” For a moment, Jin had almost let his pride get in the way. As a Cultivator in the middle of Core Formation being bested in such an underhanded manner is laughable. Yet, it's working. The only possible clue is the servant of a man named Xiang Rong. However, it couldn't be the servant tripping him as they're only in the middle stages of Qi Gathering. “Who is this Xiang Rong?” He asks his companion instead. Xu Hao scoffs.

  “Just an arrogant brat with too much money for his own good.” Jin chooses not to point out the hypocrisy in that statement. “He must have heard of your incredible luck from the Rumour Platform as well. No doubt that's why his servant keeps stealing the stones you have your eye on.”

  “Is Xiang Rong strong?” Jin asks before Xu Hao can go on another annoying tangent. At Jin's question, Xu Hao shakes his head.

  “He's notorious as a drunken wastrel. Even if he's in the Foundation Establishment realm he probably couldn't fight a paper crane.”

  “Good,” Jin mutters darkly.

  The injustice he's faced will not go unpunished. Then he's immediately tripped once again by an unseen force. Grinding his teeth, he once again brushes the dirt off his knees as he watches the blue-robed servant claim the stone he had his eye on again.

  Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

  He can already taste the riches he'll recover from the corpses of this master and servant pair.

  ///___///

  “If I hadn't known your true personality I'd have thought you only capable of cruelty.”

  Shanny, pls. She doesn't respond to my pleading for mercy. So I just go back to concentrating on my constant spell use.

  Making someone trip over and over again takes some effort after all. So while Blue focuses on buying everything Jin looks at, I'm focusing on casting the Shadow Binding spell I got from the Shade Serpent inheritance.

  Originally, this spell is one that attempts to fully bind the target, allowing the user to alpha strike them. I'm not at that level yet, but I sure as fuck can make Jin Xiaotong trip on his own shadow.

  No matter how much he looks, he won't find jack shit as this is a technique only someone at the Nascent Soul realm could see through. Truly I am blessed by fate, being able to steal nice shit from these protagonist pi?atas.

  Oh? What's this? He dares to look at this humble Lord. Aight, I might be getting too into character right now. Regardless, facing the scathing glare sent my way I just give the golden-haloed man a cheeky smirk. For a moment it looks as though a vein is going to burst on his forehead. Here let me help with that.

  I trip him again.

  I turn around, immediately walking towards a stand I think I saw wine being sold at earlier. Ignoring the scream of frustration behind me.

  After all, it's not like I need to actually see Jin to keep an eye on him.

  Unknown to the protagonist template, he remains under the gaze of my Divine Sense even as I look at some decent-looking mortal wine.

  “This wine… Is garbage.”

  “I'm so sorry, Lord Xiang.”

  ///___///

  A short while later, every stone was bought and it was time to start cutting them for jade. Needless to say, things went exactly as I expected them to.

  “How!? Prismatic Tiger Jade this time!?”

  “This is outrageous! I checked those stones and they were all duds!”

  “Xiang Rong is unbeatable! Call this contest off and refund my money!”

  Yep, just as expected. I spent thirty thousand mid-grade spiritual stones on stealing every rock from Mister Gold Halo, so I'd have maybe cried if that plan fell flat. The smart thing to do would have been just making me buy useless rocks after the first few times I did it. Instead, Jin Xiaotong got so angry he couldn't think straight and just kept picking out more stones for me to steal. It was a risk that paid off, this time at the least. I can't expect every protagonist template to have the anger modifier, I'm just lucky I noticed it early or I would have quit at ten thousand stones spent.

  As for where said golden goose has gone, well, I don't really know. He kind of just stormed off with the frantic-looking rat-faced man Fatty told me is the Merchant Guild Leader. They didn't get any stones. Why would they stay? I do hope this doesn't stop them from going to the auction later this evening… No, that worry is unfounded, if there's an auction, there's a protagonist. My plan commences undisturbed.

  “With no one even matching a fraction of the value of Lord Xiang's jade, we announce him as the winner of the Jade Gambling Competition!” The shout breaks through my internal monologue. They must have kept cutting while I was distracted by my thoughts, admittedly, I kind of phased out a little at the 7th declaration of a super rare jade type. Why does one need this many types of jade? The only purpose I see for them is making fancy glasses or bottles like the ones Teacher keeps giving me.

  At the announcement of my win, all the people who joined the contest started clamouring angrily. A glance to my side shows Blue looking around nervously and that just won't do.

  “Why do I feel you're going to make a scene again?” Shanny! You know me so well!

  So anyways, I slotted in the Heart Destroying Physique and blasted that shit full send. Instantly, everyone shut their mouths, some weaker-willed individuals even dropped to their knees. I saw Blue stumble for a moment as well, but like a proper protagonist template, he corrected himself a moment after. Good, my hype guy is showing a better performance than this sea of grey- what the fuck is that?

  My eyes lock on the only person who looks utterly unbothered, more specifically, above her. At the Red Halo above her head. Gaze panning down, I take in her appearance and squint. She's rather pretty, with black hair and red eyes, something I've only seen in a mirror. She also has higher cheekbones than what I'm used to seeing around here. She's dressed in a bright red robe and has golden adornments in her hair, those being a crown and red jewelled hairpin. She sees me looking at her, and she just smiles with a bright expression on her face.

  I immediately switch my physique off. The entire exchange only actually took a moment but it informed me of another possible threat in my immediate vicinity so I'd consider it a net positive.

  “That woman… she's dangerous.”

  For now, ignorance is the better part of valour. Or something like that. I just go back to levelling an impassive look at the event host as he dabs at some sweat on his brow with a cloth. “W-well then, the prize for first place is a free consultation with Master Smith Zhuang! As well as the chance to sell the Jade you've acquired at a significantly higher than market price!” He continues with gusto.

  “I'll buy the lot for fifty thousand high-grade Spiritual Stones.” The woman I chose to avoid states clearly over the murmuring crowd as she approaches. That… lady, are you a protagonist or a fellow villain? Because I honestly can't tell. Whatever, for now, it's time for the businessman in me to come out (I don't have one, but if I did he would have a fancy pinstripe suit)

  “Sixty for the stones, seventy and this Lord will bestow you with the consultation.” My words have an immediate effect, as many of the Cultivators here start coughing blood… Guys, what the fuck?

  “Casually disregarding a consultation from Master Smith Zhuang…”

  “How overbearing…”

  “Here.” Strange lady says with a wide grin, throwing me a spatial ring. Quickly catching it, I scan it with my divine sense and count eighty thousand high-grade Spiritual Stones. Ten thousand extra… Fuck it, I'm just taking it. “You are not going to check?” She asks, and seeing her grin I realize I only fucked up a little bit.

  Foundation Establishment Cultivators shouldn't have Divine Sense.

  I, however, have had it since Qi Gathering and have just grown so used to using it that it's second nature. So how do I get out of this blunder? Naturally, I make shit up.

  “Does a Dragon care about dog meat?” I ask her with a mocking grin. “Only an ant would count pebbles on the side of a road. Even my servant is above this rabble.” I scoff, noticing Blue puff up with pride… Blue that wasn't a compliment, please stop getting used to me it's weirding me out.

  “You dare!?”

  “Xiang Rong, you've made an enemy today!”

  “Hmph, good! This ant will happily stomp you down in the auction!”

  The last of those lines is said by a fancy government-robed man with a shiny badge pinned to his chest. Shortly after saying such he stormed off. Meh, a later problem.

  The woman in front of me, however, just giggles. “This one's name is Li Yiran, a disciple of the Moon Shadow Pavillion in Yinhe.”

  “Moon Shadow Pavillion!?”

  “I'm getting out of here!”

  “We had eyes but couldn't see the Demonic Beast right in front of us!”

  What…? The peanut gallery I've grown so used to having… It thinned at a rapid rate until the only people left were me, Blue, the uncomfortable-looking contest host, and the absolutely a fellow villain lady.

  Where does one learn this power?

  Not from a Jedi

  “I do hope you'll remember me~~” She steps closer, bringing a hand up near my face, not actually touching me before flicking to the side and turning her back to me. “I'll see you at the auction, maybe you can come visit me in Yinhe one day?”

  “This Lord will consider it.” Something something, attracted to obviously dangerous women something something.

  “Good~~”

  With that, she's gone. So now I'm left to ponder on what the fuck all that was about.

  “The Moon Shadow Pavillion… Cheng Hong told me about them, they Cultivate as Assassins and raise Demonic Beasts as pets. He suspected the Shade Serpent was one of their members. Regardless, I doubt she is past Core Formation, just that her techniques are unorthodox and far trickier to deal with than a regular Cultivator.” Shanny says, going into nerd mode.

  Forget the Assassin stuff, I'm more so wondering if she's related to me or something. The red eyes and high cheekbones were supposed to be my thing! What is she, a distant cousin? Or a non-distant one?

  “Lord Xiang! There you are!” A familiar voice calls out and I'm broken from my thoughts by Fatty jogging back up to us. He looks… ruffled. Black lipstick stains and bite marks that are poorly hidden by his collar. His hair is all messed up, and he's barely holding a breath together and I don't think that's because of the run back. “I dealt with that crazy woman, don't worry.” He assures me.

  Fuck it, not my problem.

  “Blue, fetch me a bottle of Spiritual Wine, and bring it to the garden.”

  “Yes, Master!”

  With that, I wait for the main event. Completely forgetting about the scared stiff contest host as the three of us walk off.

  ///___///

  It's only a few hours of waiting (drinking) until the auction is about to start. Seeing no reason to wait any longer, I went to my seat before the venue was open to the public. Bringing Fatty, Blue, and Green with me.

  I wasn't the only one with that idea admittedly, as a few people in different coloured robes sent glares my way as I sat my group down in the seat of honour second only to the Emperor’s. I must say, this is the most colourful group of halo’s I've seen since coming to this world in one place. Most of them are green still, but some are blue, and there are even a few orange halos. The most noticeable however are the red and gold halo. The red belongs to Li Yiran who gives me a cheery wave, and the gold belongs to my former fiancé. Who seems to have put the gift I gave her to use, seeing that she's in the first stage of Foundation Establishment now. She gives me a complicated look before bowing her head in thanks, I just raised my brow marginally and kept walking. Using my Divine Sense to see the pout on her face behind me. Truly I am villainous.

  As for everyone else, it wasn't all hostile looks. One dude with an orange halo and red robes looked at me in obvious surprise before giving me a nod (no idea what the fuck that was about). Fatty informed me that was his acquaintance Jiang Feng so I assumed it was because we were walking together.

  About to take my seat, I was prepared to just sit here in my boredom until the auction started in full. Maybe talk with Shanny some. Alas, that plan didn't last long.

  “Xiang Rong you dog! You dare sit in the seat next to the Emperor!?” The shout draws everyone's attention, and standing at the entrance is the man in government robes from earlier who got pissy and stormed off. “Are you so full of yourself you think yourself a Dragon!?” Ah fuck, I did say that, didn't I?

  “Hmph, you're closer to a dragon than any of these fools.”

  Thank you, Shanny, not helping right now but that was nice.

  Before I can even formulate a response, the chance is taken away from me as a fully armoured man with a dragon motif mask enters.

  “Announcing his Imperial Majesty, Dragon Emperor Feilong!” The room goes silent in an instant, as behind the armoured man walks in a dude in the fanciest robes I've seen yet, a myriad of red, gold, and purple. Everyone else either bows their head or drops to their knees, yet I stay transfixed, directly staring at the man.

  You may ask, is it his halo? No, his halo is better than most people’s as a red one, showing he has some of Heaven's favour at the least. Yet, instead of his halo, I'm staring at his face. This man…

  “Xiang Rong didn't bow!”

  “Is he finally going to be executed!?”

  “Wait, now that they're standing close together… Why does Xiang Rong look like the Emperor?”

  This man is a carbon copy of me, just with a beard and yellow eyes!

  “Your Majesty, this servant wishes to inform you of the scoundrel that-”

  “Minister Wu, that is enough.”

  What the fuck he even sounds like me.

  “Yes, your Majesty.”

  “Now kowtow a thousand times.” Emperor Feilong says, looking at me, then he grins in an extremely familiar manner and turns to the minister. “To Xiang Rong, for the disrespect shown against him.”

  “Wha-?” Question on his tongue, the minister looks up for just a moment before paling and dropping to his knees. “Of course, your Majesty!”

  Meanwhile, the Emperor looks back at me. “Please, take a seat, I believe you'll make for a most excellent conversation partner.” He says with a playful look in his eye.

  Bro, you haven't seen anything yet, I'm the best at this whole conversation thing.

  “Xiang Rong… I think you should take a second look at your parentage.”

  You think, Shanny?