Phoenix stared down at her p where Ta materialized to snuggle her, giving soothing chirps as she held back tears. She knew that something had been wrong with Dazien and having confirmed her fears that it was her fault –that she had messed up again– had her frustrated with herself once more.

  Rayna moved her chair closer to put a furred hand on her shoulder and said, “Hey, don’t worry about that jerk. He’s just jealous of some royal heir out there.”

  “No. He’s— well, he’s not right about me thinking that, but he has a point that I haven’t given much thought to the future,” she muttered, gently petting the poofy bird. “I was told I wasn’t strong enough to do anything about the quest yet, so I just kind of ignored it… It’s not that I don’t care about it. I don’t want any of you to think that your dreams are silly just because I might not agree one hundred percent. While I might think democracy worked better in my old world, that doesn’t mean I want to destroy all the monarchies in this one.”

  “Perhaps, you can tell Daze that, once he cools down?” Uriel suggested as he sat back down next to them.

  “You’re not going to chase after him?” Rayna asked with a raised brow.

  “I’ve seen him get like this before, and I know when he needs space to think,” he replied with a shrug. Then he added towards Phoenix, “I’m sorry you ended up on the receiving end of that. While he may have had some valid points for you to consider, he shouldn’t have yelled like that and he knows it. He’ll probably come back with some kind of gift to make amends with.”

  “A gift?” she asked in confusion.

  Uriel shook his head but chuckled softly, “‘Bits are for food, fighting, and gifts,’ he always tells me. Despite being rather frugal, or maybe because of it, he likes to express himself through gifts. That probably won’t happen today, though, since we’re still in the middle of this expedition.”

  “I don’t need a gift. I just want to make sure things are going to be okay between us,” she replied, frowning back down at Ta. “He mentioned that he thought I didn’t feel safe enough—didn’t trust you all enough—to confide in you or ask questions, but that really wasn’t the case. I did trust you all, there were just other things to consider too…”

  Phoenix didn’t mention the secret she was still keeping, even though she had already resolved to tell them earlier. Now, she fearfully wondered how everyone would react once she revealed that she could revive. Paul had made it seem like an even more important secret to keep, even fearing that they wouldn’t understand. Would Dazien yell at her again? Would Rayna think she was a jerk too for making them worry about her so much? Would they kick her off the team? Would her friends hate her now?

  “Nobody can force you to trust them,” Saiya said softly, giving a gentle squeeze around her arm. “I think you all saw how upset Dazien was, and how he started spiraling there.” She looked in the direction of where their leader had escaped off to and added, “I don’t think a lot of that frustration was entirely directed at you, honestly. It sounded like he bmes himself for not convincing you to believe in the authenticity of his words and actions.”

  Phoenix looked up at her and said, “It’s not his fault though, he—” She frowned thinking back on everything he had said as she admitted, “I mean, while I may have thought it a little… ambitious to want to become a king, it’s not like I don’t believe he’s going to try his best. I never really stopped to think that he shouldn’t try to just because a democracy might be better. Like I’ve said, I’m not really interested in politics, so I just didn’t notice that… um, I think it’s called cognitive dissonance? Like, I didn’t put those two thoughts against each other before to realize they contradicted each other.”

  She frowned at the realization and knew she would need to sort that out at some point, but now just didn’t really seem like the right time when they were about to go into battle again. She shook her head and refocused as she said, “Because of that, I hurt Dazien when he’s always gone out of his way to try and help me.”

  “Phoenix,” Saiya began, scooting closer to her, “don’t bme yourself for this current spat. You aren’t responsible for Dazien’s, or anyone else’s, feelings. Sometimes our emotions and anxieties just get the better of us and cause us to sh out.”

  They both gnced towards the exit that Dazien had just walked through, and Saiya added, “I believe he’ll calm down and then hopefully you both can have an actual conversation about the future. He obviously made some assumptions there based on what you’ve said, which he was definitely wrong to do, but I don’t think it was out of malice towards you. I think he wants to help you and just wants your acceptance.”

  Phoenix’s gaze lingered on the door her friend had disappeared through. She felt an odd desire to follow him, to reassure him that she desperately wanted his help, but more importantly his friendship. While they often seemed like complete opposites at times, she always thought of it as complementing each other’s differences, and didn’t want him to think she pnned to just abandon them all for her quest.

  Thoughtfully, she said, “While I might not be responsible for his feelings, I do want to reassure him that I don’t feel the way he seemed to fear I did.”

  She turned to Uriel. “How can I do that for him? For all of you? I want to be able to show you that I really do trust all of you now and want to stay together,” she decred, turning to look at each of them.

  Uriel gave a smirk and said, “I’m sure there are a number of ways, but for starters why don’t you just try talking to him?” He leaned forward slightly and expined, “You know how curious he is. You set a boundary about your quest, so he stopped prying, but that doesn’t mean his mind didn’t keep wondering. I think if you want to show him that you do trust him now, and I mean really trust him, then you let him ask without limits. That’s what I eventually did, at least.”

  “Boundaries are healthy,” Saiya interjected, “If you’re not comfortable with something then you shouldn’t feel pressured into doing it, even if it’s just talking.”

  He looked at her and tilted his head in acknowledgment, but crified, “It’s just one way to dispy trust for him, I’m sure there are others. If you trust him completely, then you should feel comfortable answering the questions he gives because you can trust that he wouldn’t ask anything that you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with him. If a question like that does come up, then maybe you can at least talk with him about why you don’t trust sharing that information, and give him the chance to understand your perspective.”

  Phoenix mulled over the idea for a moment before asking, “Is that why we pyed top three? Where the stipution was you had to answer questions truthfully.”

  Saiya gave a knowing smile and said with amusement, “It’s a trust-building exercise.”

  Dazien tried his hardest not to sprint through the makeshift camp, his emotions roiling in a way that threatened to confuse him if he dwelt on them. He didn’t want to stop and think, which was a rare sensation for him, but it was just turning out to be that kind of day.

  He usually loved to work through a problem. A curious mystery full of intrigue that forced him to exercise his mind had always been almost as thrilling as wielding his sword. The fact that his mind currently felt so muddled that he would rather punch something or scream at the sky in futility was a testament to the unusual state he found himself in.

  Dazien had always been adept enough at social situations to navigate them calmly and with minimal friction. Even though he had lived all his life in the city of Tulimeir, he had always been seen as an outsider. The lone gemite with purple hair and skin that was a slightly lighter shade of brown than the sea of runeforged and cinderen he grew up in.

  With always being on the outside, he had to learn to adapt and talk his way into social circles, his Natural Talent being a boon in that regard. His words were weapons he wielded to show others he was worthy of notice and respect. By maintaining grace, tact, and confidence at all times, the others had flocked to his banner. Because of this, he couldn’t recall the st time he had actually lost his temper in public and shouted in anger at someone.

  Not only did he go off on a rant, but it was at someone that he had trusted and cared for. Someone that he had promised to protect and support. The image of Uriel’s look of disapproval and Phoenix’s stricken face was seared into his mind now.

  He marched out of the camp and down the tunnel he had previously been guarding with his party, until he reached the point in the hall where Phoenix had fallen after pulling yet another crazy stunt in an effort to protect all of them. His emotions were choking him, needing to be released somehow, so he punched the stone wall, sending a spider web of cracks through the surface.

  It seemed like no matter how hard he tried to protect her—their Supporter—when things were at their worst, she would be the one to make the sacrifice and protect him—the Defender. He felt ashamed by his failure to simply perform his Role and pulled his fist back to punch the wall again.

  A firm hand caught his arm, and the rough voice of Paul spoke from beside him, “The goal is to not destroy the city, remember?”

  Dazien pulled his arm away, which the Emerald Caster allowed, as he muttered, “Better the wall than you.”

  Paul raised an eyebrow and surprised him by giving a smirk as he replied, “I believe you would do even less damage to me, kid. Would you like to test it?”

  His eyes went wide at the idea, then he shook his head and gave a frustrated sigh as he attempted to collect himself again, saying in a much calmer voice, “My apologies, Lord Waynd. I am not myself at the moment.”

  Dazien gestured to the empty hallway, “It was the reason I came here. I realized that I’m having trouble coming to terms with…” he trailed off, gncing at his friend’s mentor before saying uncertainly, “Some information that Phoenix offered us earlier today regarding her divine Favors.”

  Paul’s face scrunched in a way he had only ever seen the man’s apprentice do and said dryly, “Ah. So, she finally gave in.” Then he crossed his arms over a cream shirt—the obsidian armor currently absent—and inquired, “I was there when she received the first two. What did she tell you?”

  Dazien recounted what Phoenix had divulged, then after a moment’s consideration, confided about the earlier conversation he had with her and how he had lost his temper. He was definitely expecting some form of retribution for shouting at the lord’s soon-to-be-daughter.

  With another sigh of frustration, he admitted, “I don’t know what to do, Lord Waynd. I can barely understand why I’m feeling… like this.”

  “I have my suspicions on both why and what you’re feeling,” Paul said while leaning against the stone wall he had punched. “I’m guessing the core is all that anger, which I’m quite familiar with, while there’s also some self-doubt and denial. Plus, the guilt; I’m assuming that’s for shing out at Phoenix, though, and I expect you to apologize for that if you haven’t already.”

  Dazien stared at him with surprise in his amethyst eyes before scowling, crossing his own arms as he leaned next to the mentor, and muttered, “Bloody aura senses,” causing Paul to chuckle.

  “I do pn to apologize better when I see her again. I know she didn’t deserve that… I just—I lost control. I came here to try and calm down first,” he admitted, then asked, “But that’s the what. You said you knew the why?”

  “I said that I suspected, not knew. Reading auras isn’t reading minds. I’ve seen you with your companions and have been watching long enough to figure out a few things about you, however,” Paul admitted.

  As Dazien stayed silent, waiting for him to eborate, Paul shook his head and said with a hint of amusement, “For being so adroit at reading people you seem to have a blind spot for yourself.”

  “Probably part of that denial you mentioned,” he bitterly muttered.

  Paul chuckled again and agreed, “Probably. There are a couple of reasons I suspect, but based on what you’ve told me, I think in this case the root of your anger is caused by an additional feeling: one of inadequacy. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but you came here because this was the st pce you felt like you failed at something,” he gestured to the stone ground in front of them. The memory of where pale skin and red hair matted with blood had once in fshed across his mind making his fists clench.

  “You’re not wrong,” Dazien admitted in barely more than a whisper. “I’m the one who’s meant to defend the others but I failed to defend her here. I keep failing her. If she can’t trust me to fulfill my Role, then why would she trust me with any of her secrets or to help with her quest? How am I supposed to help her—lead her—if she doesn’t want me to? Why does she even bother with me at all if I mean nothing to her?”

  “Why indeed?” Paul reiterated, letting silence fall between them as he wallowed in self-pity before he spoke again. “When we first met, I refused to let her join your party.”

  “You didn’t believe I could protect her. I almost got her killed that day,” Dazien dejectedly said. “You were obviously right. Today proved that yet again.”

  “No, I was more against your friend than you because I’m fully aware of his past. But do you know what the reasons she gave me for wanting to join you and him were?”

  Dazien shook his head, gncing over curiously, as Paul recalled, “It was because you were honest with her and could make her ugh.”

  His eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected reasoning, and he sputtered incredulously, “Make her ugh? She saw me more as a jester instead of a king?!” Then he grumbled, “I know I accused her of thinking I was childish, but I had hoped I was wrong about that. To think she was actually ughing at me—”

  “Not at you, with you,” Paul corrected as he gave a sad smile. “I think she saw you as a flickering light of joy in a sea of darkness that threatened to consume her—and still does. Among all the people surrounding us with their own agendas and greed, you’ve always been honest and forthright, never hiding your goals or values. I, for one, appreciate that as well.”

  Dazien rexed slightly, contempting the words as his mentor added, “I’d wager that’s also what draws your partner in as well, whether he’s aware of it or not. Perhaps, like him, instead of making it your duty to defend Phoenix’s body from harm, you can focus more on protecting her heart from despair?”

  He pushed himself off the wall to get a better look at Paul and practically pleaded, “How? I’ve never met anyone like her before. She’s as bad as Uriel used to be when it comes to communication. I can’t help her if she won’t tell me what she needs! She’d rather run off to fight monsters for a week rather than sit down and have a conversation with an ally! Who runs towards monsters but away from friends?”

  Paul raised an eyebrow at him as though he was being an idiot and asked, “Did you forget exactly which gods gave her that divine quest?”

  The question made him realize that, yes, he was an idiot.

  Dazien gave another frustrated growl and kicked at some of the rubble on the ground, then gestured toward Paul. “How did you do it?” he asked, trying to find a solution. “She obviously trusts you completely. She’s told you everything I bet. How did you convince her that you would help instead of harm?”

  Paul gave another smirk and said, “Saving her life multiple times and having Emerald Caste power.”

  When Dazien gave him an incredulous look, he chuckled and added, “I’m joking.”

  “You never joke.”

  “I joke with Phoenix.”

  That made him give a ft look which elicited another chuckle as Paul amended his expnation, “I was there for her. I reassured her and trusted her in return and never betrayed that trust. Just like you have been.”

  Dazien felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. “Why does it seem like that’s not enough, then? Putting aside her keeping an important quest a secret from all of us because I understand having secrets like that, why does it feel like she’s always running away from me or fighting about what to do? Why won’t she just ask me to help and trust that I want to simply because she’s my friend?”

  It confused him to see the awkward look that came over the Emerald Caster leaning against the cracked wall as Paul rubbed at the back of his neck and said, “Actually, kid, I might owe both you and her a slight apology for that first part.”

  At his clueless blinking, Paul expounded further, “I told her to not share that secret with anyone. You know what some people would do if they found out she was Oathbonded to a single god, let alone two. How many nobles do you know that would appreciate having a Rebel Bonded in their city?”

  Dazien had no doubt that Paul had been correct in his caution. Phoenix was lucky that she hadn’t been killed already if anyone else had known. While he knew the duke to be a just leader, he wasn’t sure if that would benefit an outsider like Phoenix. If she had trusted the wrong person, she would be dead ten times over by now and that was the st thing he wanted.

  “As I said, I understand that. I just don’t understand why she doesn’t seem to care about actually accomplishing it. Have you and her been secretly working and pnning for things in the shadows? It seemed like you were busy with other things between our training sessions, which even then you haven’t been able to attend all the time. Not that I’m compining, I’m grateful for whatever time you have to give us guidance, but I was just under the impression that the AOA, Avenger, and duties of your House were consuming the remaining time.”

  “They are,” Paul confirmed. “We haven’t been pnning anything together yet.”

  Dazien stared at him incredulously. “But she knows nothing about where—”

  “She doesn’t need to right now,” he interrupted, then gestured towards the blood stains on the ground where Phoenix had almost died. “I’m sure you’ve realized by now that she doesn’t pn anything. She reacts. She does what she thinks is right and best in the moment and hopes that it works. My focus in her training is to give her the tools and skills to adapt to a moment. Even her own powerset is focused around that by not being focused at all. The only goal she has and needs to worry about right now is getting stronger.”

  “But her quest won’t wait for her to react to it. It’s not like those artifacts are going to just fall into her p or the heir will come find her to drag her along. Those things at the very least require research, coordinating travel, visiting who knows how many pces or cultures,” he pointed out, feeling his frustration rise again. “I’ve been thinking about the future and making pns for where I want to end up for my entire life, and Phoenix behaves like the future doesn’t matter at all.”

  “Well, that’s probably because she never pnned to have one before.”

  Dazien paused at that. The way he worded it made it sound like Phoenix had been pnning to die. Her reckless actions aside, he realized that what she had said before about her past—trapped with sickness—wasn’t that she had pnned on dying, but that she had no motivation to pn on living.

  He wasn’t sure how to vocalize that realization, but the pointed look on Paul’s face made it clear that he already came to the same one. Instead, Dazien asked, “How can I help her understand that she gets to have one now?”

  Paul shook his head. “I believe that will simply take time. What both you and I can do, however, is pn around her. Learn to lead, knowing that she’ll react with or without your orders. She’ll default to following, but won’t hesitate to stand up for others and fight monsters. Adapt your pns as best you can but also communicate those with her so she understands why you might be giving those orders.”

  His mentor smirked and added, “I hear you’re normally good at communicating. Just keep doing it, even if she doesn’t.”

  Paul surprised him by stepping forward, pcing a hand on his shoulder, and saying sincerely, “For what it’s worth, Phoenix asked me if she could tell you all sooner. She does trust you, and I think she’s right in this case. You care about your party and making sure they feel safe and happy with you. I know you’ll try to make things right, starting with that apology for shouting. You’re a good man, Dazien, even when you trip up sometimes.”

  He was speechless; which was only something that Paul seemed to be capable of rendering in him. The words struck him at his core and the weight of his anger, fear, and inadequacies lessened. The first thing that finally came to mind as an actual coherent thought was, “You’ve never called me by my name before.”

  His mentor smiled at him and admitted, “Yeah, well, I guess you’re starting to grow on me.”

  He returned the smile and felt a little more like himself as he joked, “Does that mean you might adopt me too?”

  Paul ughed and cpped him on the back. “Don’t push your luck, kid.”