Life is a mess of the unexpected.

  I don't know a single part of it that we can be truly prepared for, and I don't know a single person who can honestly say they expected everything that happens. Every wildfire, every tornado, every blizzard. All of them, both literal and symbolic disasters. No one is safe from the uncertainty of living, of its countless troubles. At any moment, life and its immense oddities can all come crashing down on you, ready to completely bury you in its mess.

  We live, and we die.

  And as I have come to understand, we live even after we die.

  Here in Nihil, the dead spiral into unknown territory, an afterlife we have no way of preparing for. We do our absolute best in the face of our mortality to get the best outcome. Whatever happens, it is only left to happen without our knowledge.

  Nihil operates and thrives on that uncertainty, on the unknown. We lived once, and we suddenly don't know anything about ourselves. Completely uncertain of how we lived, reliant on our thoughts and words. We want to find certainty, we want to figure out what our existences mean, and we want to come out of this fulfilled and ready for the next stage.

  And by simply going along with what is unexpected to us, we are simply left to the whims of chance, the fates that we're thrown into. What we once thought made sense, we discard it moments later the moment doubt is fulfilled.

  Such uncertainty is prevalent in every corner. I found myself going along with a group, walking with people on some tour. I expected to see wonders before my eyes and received so many more moments after. Miss Tour Guide Jolivette is quite the miracle, bringing us more than we have ever seen before.

  I know naught a single ounce of my life, and yet I am ready to face it all the same.

  And it continues, as I hear her voice call out to us...

  "Come on, come on, we gotta go, the ceremony's happening-! Hurry, hurry, hurry!" Yvette shouts at the top of her lungs.

  Going up the stairs, Yvette and the twelve ghosts head straight to the fourth floor.

  After a long string of nonsense that started with her getting out of work today, Yvette signed up for an impromptu ceremony to bestow all of them their new names. Something she really, really got lucky with.

  This is a massive, major surprise to all of the ghosts. Except for the one ghost that seemed knowledgeable about the ceremony, they didn't- know what to expect, what to prepare for. It feels as if their Miss Tour Guide Jolivette has skipped several steps all at once, and yet- if she believes they're ready for this, then... they're happy to roll with it. Especially Sandy Ghost, who concluded that engaging in this ceremony will help him remember his life better.

  And as these ghosts think about how happy and fast they're going, Yvette has been constantly... ever so constantly thinking that she should slow down, that she should pump the brakes and call it quits right here.

  She desperately needs to completely stop, thinking to herself, am I going too far? Am I going a little bit out of my element here? I should stop, now.

  But there's no stopping this. Full steam ahead, Yvette thinks after. Yvette dashes up the stairs, heading to the fourth floor, frantically scrambling to get up to the floor it's on- as the ghosts simply float up, flying past her and waiting for her on the upper floors. All of them feel a strong mix of emotions at this spontaneous change in their day, ever so eager as they patiently wait for their destinies.

  Time to throw all of these ghosts into some possibly sacred and life-altering (death-altering, actually) ceremony that changes them forever, probably something intense and grand that will mark the turning points of their existence...

  ... or something.

  Yvette doesn't know what this ceremony does. The Grim Reaper only told her to write things down about the ghosts, and something about saving a billion lives or whatever. He never actually told her what they even do to get the names first- and this is the first time she's actually aware of some full-blown ceremony for it.

  It should just give them a name, or something, and probably have their souls checked, or something. It's some kind of magic process where she just hands the ghosts off and they do a bunch of whimsical Nihilian magic to completely brew up and concoct some funky name, maybe?

  Either way, it should be really simple, like just dropping the ghosts off and subjecting them to Nihilian magic... right?

  ... eh, she'll figure out if she's wrong afterward.

  As Yvette and the ghosts wander through the halls and make it to Auditorium 4-C, they enter to see the same, same old grayscale. Just in massive, theater form, with a stage and curtains and a ton of seats. Hundreds of them lined up in staircase fashion, extending far beyond the normal theater. The space of this auditorium defies physics, being way too large for this building— and way too large for the ghosts in the back to even see anything!

  Then again, Nihil's never been known for conforming to normal laws of reality...

  ... also, it's no exaggeration, these ceremonies definitely fill up quickly. Every seat in this one auditorium was filled, with- hundreds of ghosts crammed together, and—to Yvette's knowledge—each row of seats was completely filled to the brim, making this a fully packed auditorium. Yvette notes how insane it is to think about how "months in advance" implies a really, really immense amount of ghosts subjecting themselves to this for pure fun and all...

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  Anyway, enough about the auditorium itself. Yvette's now left with a short time to figure out what she has to do with these ghosts. The receptionist said something about an assistant to help these ghosts out, so... since the show's starting soon, the assistant's probably in the back right now, doing all the stuff to prepare and all.

  This first step is as simple as going to the side of the whole auditorium.

  To the right, Yvette finds an entryway into the backstage: a doorway that's currently being blocked by a really, really big skeleton. Really chunky bones on him, standing at a tall 10 feet. Twice as tall as Yvette, give or take a few inches.

  Yvette thought: is that the assistant? Hm. No, this is very likely just a security guard meant to keep everyone else out...

  ... so, Yvette leads the other ghosts to this doorway. She walks up to the skeleton and waves her hand to get his attention, to speak up to the giant skeleton dude. "Hey- hey, got twelve more amnesiacs for this show, you mind if—?"

  "AH. YES. I CAN SEE THE LANYARDS," the skeleton bouncer speaks in a strong, intense, and bold voice. Every word he speaks is capitalized, spoken in a resonant and deep voice that conveys a mixture of brute and... scholar, strangely enough. "YOU MAY PROCEED TO THE BACKSTAGE, TO WHICH THE STAFF BACKSTAGE WILL GET YOU ALL SITUATED. MAY YOUR CEREMONY BE GOOD."

  The ghosts are admitted through in a single file line, with Sandy Ghost being the last one in. Joyously giving a happy nod to the skeleton before following the 11 other ghosts in line.

  Yvette... lets out a phew, and ever so contently turns away, ready to go find somewhere to watch this ceremony. Just to make sure it goes well, to hope that this whole thing doesn't turn into a massive dumpster fire of a mistake and a lie.

  The hard part's over, so she wants to finally relax...

  However, before Yvette can walk away, the skeleton calls out to her before she takes that first step away. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" he asks, visible confusion on his unmoving skull face. "ARE YOU NOT COMING WITH THESE SOULS FOR THE CEREMONY?"

  "...?" Yvette stops and looks back as the skeleton tells her this. "Oh. Am I supposed to come with?"

  "WELL, YES. I WOULD ASSUME THAT YOU ARE..?" the skeleton bouncer chimes in, his voice trailing off as he leans a little forward. Hollow eye holes just staring at Yvette. "... AH. I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE A NEW REALM KEEPER."

  Yvette... nods a couple of times. "Yeah, I'm- new, so I guess-"

  "THE REALM KEEPER THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE AMNESIACS IS VERY INVOLVED WITH THE CEREMONY," the skeleton explains to Yvette. "YOUR INVOLVEMENT IS VERY HIGH, AND YOUR DUTIES ARE VERY PLENTIFUL DURING THE CEREMONY."

  Oh, no, okay, this is the point where the dumpster fire upgrades itself to a full-blown forest fire.

  Yvette really, REALLY regrets everything right now. This skeleton is basically telling her she needs to do so much work just because she didn't want to do the work she was given. It is, in fact, not as simple as just dropping the ghosts off, Yvette now just has to do a TON of possibly back-breaking work.

  This is a disaster and Yvette needs an immediate excuse out of this. "Well, I'm not exactly the most... stage-confident. I did just get here, I'm new, I don't know what I'd be doing, so—"

  "IT IS NO WORRY. I HAVE A PAMPHLET FOR THE CEREMONY, TO DETAIL YOUR DUTIES AND INVOLVEMENT IN AN INFORMATIVE PAPER WAY," the skeleton tells Yvette. "I HAVE SEVERAL ON HAND FOR THIS VERY OCCASION. PLEASE, HAVE ONE."

  ... the skeleton's really insisting she gets involved and all, and probably won't accept any excuse she can come up with now.

  Ah... well... "Uh... sure, dude, I'll take a pamphlet," Yvette responds, keeping an eye on the skeleton's hand, very curious about where this skeleton's going to keep the...

  ... oh.

  Oh, so that's where skeletons keep their things.

  Neat.

  "HERE YOU GO. TAKE THIS PAMPHLET," the skeleton bouncer tells Yvette, holding the pamphlet out for Yvette to hold. "BE AWARE THAT THE SHOW WILL BE STARTING QUITE SOON, SO YOU WILL HAVE SOME TIME TO READ THE PAMPHLET IN ITS ENTIRETY WHILE-"

  Suddenly, a buzz sounds out, as the room darkens. The lights above fade to a pitch black, as the lights surrounding the stage start to dimly illuminate.

  Yvette's eyes widen at this, holding the pamphlet in hand. The lights turning off means...

  "... CORRECTION. THE SHOW WILL BE STARTING RIGHT NOW. YOU WILL HAVE MINIMIAL TIME TO READ THE PAMPHLET IN ITS ENTIRETY," the skeleton bouncer immediately corrects himself.

  Yeah, okay, Yvette is already long aware that it's only going to get worse and worse from here. "It's- it's cool, I'll read it. Thanks for the pamphlet, dude!"

  "YOU ARE WELCOME. I WISH YOU A GOOD CEREMONY," the skeleton bouncer calls after her, maintaining a very positive attitude as Yvette walks past and follows the other ghosts.

  Walking right behind Sandy Ghost and simply following along after them, Yvette opens the pamphlet up and begins reading, reading as if her life depended on it. It kind of does.

  She's definitely, definitely not going to skip it or anything. Chapter 1, so you're now a part of the Naming Ceremony...

  ...

  Yvette immediately skips the "thorough reading" and most of the pamphlet.

  The pamphlet itself details quite a lot of things that Yvette needs to read through, a ton of stuff that might be really, REALLY important- but it is, by no means, an easy read. Unfolding it reveals about twelve whole vertical pages, all double-sided, with some of the worst writing she's ever seen in her life.

  It was just all blocks upon blocks of text. Every letter is small, and every line on the pamphlet... came without spacing. No line breaks, and no space between the paragraphs. It's just one large block of text for about 22 pages (omitting the front and back of the pamphlet when it's fully closed).

  The only signifying, eye-catching feature is all the bullet-pointed guidelines inconsistently marked between ABC, then abc, then, 1, 2, 3— and then I, II, III... curiously. Then it goes: apples, bananas, cookies, daffodils, elephants, and- fungus? This is just a convoluted way to do the ABC list, but with completely grayed-out images that someone who doesn't speak English wouldn't understand.

  Right, yeah, this whole pamphlet isn't colorful, it's all gray with no color. Usually, these things are supposed to be colorful, vibrant, and easy to read. Here, it's just a white sheet of folded paper with black ink and some occasional gray. The headings were written in this thick, gothic font that really sprawls all over the page.

  Very important steps, the skeleton said... and if all of this is important, then there's no way Yvette can read it in time without her brain screaming violent murder at her. This will take her a few hours at best, a few days on average, and maybe an entire few weeks or months if she needs to remember all of this.

  And she's going on stage literally right now, for a show that's starting.

  So Yvette has decided to not read all of that. She's just gonna briefly look through the pamphlet for any big, important words that they should have made bold for someone like her and her abysmal attention span when it comes to reading long works of utter trash.

  ...

  And done.

  There are no words from this pamphlet that Yvette cares about.

  She's ready.