ForeverEgg

  I blinked blearily as Deyha's arm went off. As usual she cut it off within a sed or two, but unlike usual she id back down, sighing as she fell into the pillow beside me.

  "Everything okay babe?" my voice felt a little scratchy and Carolyn's arm twitched as I tried to remain still for her.

  "Mmmm" Deyha hummed, I couldn't make out any iion to indicate a yes or no. She cleared her throat and rolled onto her side to face me. "M Maddie."

  I reached over to stroke her cheek with the bay hand and she caught it, weaving our fiogether and kissing my knuckles before holding my hand to her chest. Her heartbeat was faster than I would have expected.

  "How were your dreams?" She sounded more awake now.

  I tried to think back to what had been happening. I had been dreaming, and the feeling of Carolyn's head resting on my chest, and arms ed around me seemed extremely relevant to what had been going on. My face warmed as a few details fell into pce.

  There had been an outfit, cow print socks and gloves, and I'd been rigged up in a sling, pletely immobilized to be milked and bred.

  "Good, they were good dreams."

  "I thought so," Deyha murmured.

  "Why do you ask?"

  "You talk in your sleep sometimes."

  "Oh, sorry."

  "In fact--" Deyha tinued, "You seem capable of carrying a versation in your dreams."

  I chewed my lip hard. "Hah, yeah I have a pretty vivid imagination sometimes."

  "You're also very suggestible."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I mean that a few minutes ago, the best I could tell is that you were dreaming about going on a road trip, but when I informed your subscious that it was time for your m milking session, you worked yourself up quite a bit."

  "You?--"

  Deyha pressed on, "You were quite insistent that you needed help getting into your harness, and that it had been two whole weeks since you delivered so you o be bred again as well."

  "It's not o mess with people's dreams."

  "But you were just insisting you aren't a person."

  "What?"

  "You were adamant that you are a y property, and suitable only for produg milk and children." She released my hand and drew back the sheet, untug it from where it had gotten caught between Carolyn and myself. "So as it stands, it's time for not only your m milking session, but also your m breeding session."

  She rubbed her hand over my belly, smoothing the wrinkles in my sleep shirt as she dipped her hand toward my thighs.

  My breath came out as a gasp and my legs spread automatically as she cupped me through my underwear. Carolyn grumbled in her sleep and rolled off of me, turning her ba us.

  Deyha redoubled her attack, soon was on her knees, hooking her fingers uhe waistband of my panties as I lifted my hips to let her take them off.

  She pulled directly up, f me to lift my knees and watch as the fabric g wetly and stretched a thin strand of fluid as she pulled them free.

  I expected her to pull down her own underwear ao it, but she crawled backwards. "I've been curious about this strawberry fvor that Carolyioned…" she stopped with her lips just inches from my skin. I could feel her breath, hot against my skin. "Do you mind?"

  "Hah, be my guest." I tried to rex my back as she touched me, kissing at first before lig, delvioween my lips in long strokes.

  She pressed harder, and soon she was burying her face, pushing back the hood over my clit and attag directly, draggiongue over the sensitive nub and ping it between her lips as she sucked.

  I couldn't y still through this. My gasps for air became weak cries as I arched my bad fought against the iron grip she had on my hips. It was unreal how much sensation she packed into the a, striking lightning bolts up my back as she abused the cluster of nerve endings. My fingernails throbbed as I cwed at the sheets below me, uo assert any meaningful trol of the situation no matter how hard I pulled.

  "Good m." Carolyn sounded bemused o me, and all at once Deyha's touch was gone.

  I gasped and panted as Deyha sat up on her knees.

  "M Lynn." Deyha wiped her mouth "You're just in time for breakfast."

  Carolyn cackled and got out of bed, and I whined as Deyha stood as well.

  "NoooOOooooOO. You 't do this to meee."

  "And you accuse me of terrorizing her." Carolyn shook her head.

  "I'm not terrorizing her, I'm simply prepping for her m milking and breeding session."

  "Oh that's a thing now?" Carolyn held up her hands. "Well don't let me interfere. Where are the pumps?"

  "Top of the closet." Deyha stepped around to the side of the bed, reag for my hand and pullily. "Bear with us a minute Maddie, we'll have you taken care of soon."

  "You know--" I mumbled. "--'Taken care of' is usually a euphemism for 'killed' and after what you just did, I'm having a hard time seeing this going any other way."

  "As if being milked and fucked to death isn't the exact way you'd want to go."

  "The problem is I don't want to go at all!"

  I sat up a Deyha pull my shirt over my head, but I immediately repced it with a b, shutting out the cool air on my back as my beloveds had their giggles.

  The bed shifted as Carolyn crawled ba. She brought a cardboard box with her and there was a small plug in vacuum pump alongside a cup and bottle system that was simir but likely inpatible with the system downstairs.

  "How is this going to work?" I pulled the bighter, daring them to expin further before I called the whole ordeal off.

  "I'll hold these in pce." Carolyn held up the two bottles, "While Deyha fucks you silly! It's simple really."

  "Simple." I echoed. "Because as we all know, being fucked silly doesn't involve any sort of moving around at all."

  "You're saying you wont be good and hold still for me?"

  I narrowed my eyes. "What in the world is strong enough to brace against if Deyha is railing me?"

  "Fair point. We need some sort of saddle for you to y over…"

  "Why aren't we just using my harness?"

  Carolyn spped her forehead. "Right! Right, literally what we got it for. Is it still in your pyroom?"

  I scowled. "It's in my office, yes."

  Deyha snorted. "Yes, your office, of course. Well, while Carolyn grabs that, let's workshop on how we are going to immobilize you."

  "What, like tyio the bed?"

  "Sorta, just so that while you're on your hands and knees you'll be able to ba not move around."

  "I figured you'd just pin my legs with yours and then hold my arms behind my back for leverage."

  At long st, it seemed to be Deyha's turn to blush. "And you don't think that will hurt at all?"

  I shrugged. "If it does, I'll let you know and we re-adjust." I rubbed my hooves on the carpet, enjoying the sensation oough little toe-beans that Carolyn had snu uhem.

  I ged the subject. "What do you want for breakfast?"

  Deyha ughed, "Seriously? I mean, gods, I haven't takeime to sit down for a proper breakfast in so long. If I was actually going to sit down and make something I'd definitely go for scrambled eggs with a little bit of ba and toast, but we don't keep ba around and I feel like the eggs would be wasted on me. So, since I wouldn't be having that, the runner up would be waffles. My grandma would use a waffle iron that made a clover that pulled apart into four hearts."

  "My waffle iron makes heart shapes. They're a bit angur and there's five hearts instead of four, but it's something, right?"

  "Yeah, I'm absolutely ied in digging that out when we're done here."

  "Holy, I think I'm already kinda done here."

  "Really? Is something wrong?"

  "I'm too awake for m sex. I kinda just want to have a nice breakfast and start my day, ya know?"

  "Okay, I'm back." Carolyn burst into the room, seeming out of breath. "What? What's with that face?" She ointing at Deyha.

  "Sorry Carolyn." I smirked, knowing full well the kind of response I'd earned. "If it's any sotion, I'll wear the haro bed tonight and we do the m milk and breed for realsies tomorrow."

  "You little… Agh!" She opened my b and pushed me bato my bed. "Biting is too good for you!" She sat on my hips, fighting to grab my hands and then dragging them above my head with one of hers as she brushed the fingers of her free hand ay rib cage.

  My ughing cries were deeply undignified as I struggled to free myself, with a bit of twisting I was able to cover the ots under my arms, but she just moved her attack to wherever I couldn't defend. I quickly became light headed with the frenzy of the situation, forced to squirm even though there was no defense against her.

  It seemed like ay before the torture ended. I gasped for breath, willing my head to stop spinning as I sat up. Deyha was holding Carolyn back, trapping her arms to her sides as she filed.

  Milk dribbled down my chest as I sat up. Evidently tickle fights would be joining the list of things Carolyn could do to make me leak.

  "You know, for being the number one fan of my milk, you sure do cause a lot of it to go to waste."

  "It wouldn't have been wasted if you'd just bred and milked like you po!"

  I sighed. "I'm going to go do ara and then see about breakfast. Would you like to join Deyha and me for waffles?"

  "And coffee?"

  "Yes, stimunts and fresh milk will be prepared to your exag standards."

  "I'm not sure I like your tone."

  "And I really don't like being tickled until I'm about to pass out, but I love you anyways."

  "Maddie is spicy today." Carolyn mumbled.

  "I'm sorry, but there are a few ways in which I really 't handle being fucked with."

  "Do you want to talk about it?" Deyha let Carolyn go, and in a rare show of restraint Carolyn didn't take the opportunity to get her bites.

  "No? Yes? I don't know. I'm very whelmed right now and I think I just o clear out--" I waved vaguely around. I struggled to form a triage for issues to address. I o up, do ara, get dressed, a, but the hierarchy of issues seemed circur with each task requiring one or several of the others to be pleted first.

  I grabbed my shirt from where Deyha had discarded it and I picked out a couple pairs of pa random. Soilira clothes seemed like an easy sacrifiake at this point. I felt like I was being watched like a fizzing firework as I got dressed.

  "Anything we help with?" Deyha brought me out of my thoughts, and I held back the automatio' that I wao reply with.

  "I have no clue. I'll be fine in a bit and I'll expin stuff over breakfast." I grabbed my robe and worked my arms through the sleeves. It wasn't as f today, but at least it wasn't making anything worse

  "Okay, I'll get stuff going for breakfast."

  I ted the steps as I desded toward my private milking room. Lately, I had at least started prepping the m's harness after my evening milking session, so I khat part of the ordeal would go quickly at least. I grabbed one of the non-pulsing throttles from the supply closet, and headed for my room, repying the m's events in my mind.

  It had been a good dream, but the fact that Deyha had orchestrated it had put me off. I'd known for a long time that I roo sleepwalking and talking, but this was the first i since moving in that it had e up. es and memories resurfaced unbidden as I hooked up the extractor and sat down on my bag chair. I hadn't thought that it was relevant to tell them before now, and I really, really, wao think that Deyha messing with my dreams was hot, but it wasn't. My roommates in college resented me for sn, and one particurly bad roommate joked about how he had messed with me, fang himself some sort of hypnotist as he probed me for embarrassis in my sleep. Sure, it was how I found out that dreaming of being a girl wasn't supposed to be an every night thing for boys, but that just made ing to terms with things that much harder.

  And then on top of that there was the tickle fight. It bore uny resembo the times that my younger cousins would jab and tease me to get a rea, eaining themselves with my spasming until I iably hit them with my filing. Then, it was suddenly my fault for not trolling myself better. I wao make happy memories to repce the old ones, but when new experiences lioo close to old wounds, the poison just spread. Iing the present with horrible feelings.

  A knock at the door shook me from my thoughts and I scrambled to tune bato my surroundings. I'd been g the fabriy robe pretty hard. I pulled the robe closed over the cups and redid the belt with a loose knot.

  "e in." I rehearsed how I'd politely remind them I'd said I would expin over breakfast, but that p out the window when Xander peeked around the door.

  "Hey Maddie." She slipped in and shut the door behind her.

  "Did Deyha and Carolyn send you?" I heard the bitter suspi in my own tone and cursed myself. "I mean, Hi. Good m. What's up?"

  "Good m? Uh, no, I haven't seeoday. Is something wrong? I go--"

  "No, it's fine. I o get out of my own head." I rubbed my eyes and tried to be pleasant. "Did you need something?"

  "I wao get your advice." Xander sat on the side of the couch closest to my bag chair, tug her feet under her. "Do you like the fur and stuff? I noticed that you've beeing pretty rapidly on the mods and I wao pick your brain on how they feel."

  I ughed. "Yeah, the current hooves are pretty great I think." I lifted one so she could get a better look.

  She gasped "Oh my god you have little toe beans!" her voice turned into a squeal of delight. " I touch them?"

  "Uh, sure." I felt my cheeks warm as she hopped off the coud k in front of my chair.

  Whatever I thought she would do, I certainly did not expect her to be so firm, right from the start. She spread the toes with her thumbs, pressing the fur aween the pads as if to study the boructure.

  "This is amazing! I had no idea Carolyn could do this sort of thing-- I mean, I caught a glimpse of Deyha's new cws but this is definitely more my speed--" her eyebrows furrowed, "Do you smell strawberries?"

  I tried to be subtle about taking my hoof bad she took that as her cue to return to her seat.

  "Yeah, I've been a guinea pig for a bunch of Carolyn's ideas so you rest assured she is w on the whole strawberry milk thing."

  "It sounds like she's already figured it out. I-- I mean, it's weird to ask for a taste, but like… I'm so curious!"

  I flushed, it took me a sed to realize that, like Deyha, she had assumed it was the milk being fvored. "Ah, it's uh… not really--" I groaned and pulled the robe tighter around myself. "I'd rather you didn't. I'm sure Carolyn will let you know soon when she's ready to adapt the mod for you."

  "For sure, for sure." Xander seemed to vibrate ih excitement. "Is the fur nice? I kinda wonder if it would follow the patterns on my skin like my eyebrows do."

  "I… couldn't say. I mean, I actually asked Carolyn if she could make my skin look kinda like yours but she seemed a little… put off by the question."

  "Ah. Yeah, that tracks, I mean I see why she wouldn't want to iionally give you an autoimmune disease just for funsies."

  "What? Oh my god, I thought-- I mean I saw when I researched that it's a skin dition but I didn't think it was-- I'm sorry."

  Xander smirked. "I won't tattle to Carolyn for that one. But don't sweat it, I mean, it's funny to me because I got kinda used to most people being put off and scared that it's tagious, and then a few people would hard-overcorrect to saying it's really hot and making a fetish of it… But nobody has ht told me they wao look like me. Now that folks are staring at the horns and ears, I think they mostly assume it art of the modding package."

  "I… yeah I don't know what I thought."

  "It's fine. I don't get out muyways so now that all the people in my life are used to it I just feel okay about it. Carolyn even offered to look into ways tment my skin but--" she shrugged. "It's my skin. Besides, my first mods were to correct my thyroid and stop my immune system from being a stereotypical cop to my menocytes, so the patches haven't grown in a long time."

  "Do you mean--"

  "Don't make me expin the joke. All cops are bastards."

  "Okay, okay." I ughed. "Well, I guess to answer your questiohe fur is 's a bitch to keep but I like being my own plushie. Was that… all you wao ask about?"

  Xander sched her face as she thought. "Mmmm yeah, I think so. Thanks for letting me pick your brain."

  "Haha, any time." I took a peek down my shirt at the cups, and cut the vacuum throttle off. "I o go take a shower I think. If it is you, Carolyn and Deyha are probably making waffles right now."

  "OooOooOh" Xaood and held out her hands to help me out of my chair. "If you'd like, I ransom-- I mean deliver your milk to Carolyn. I'm sure she would share If I made her an offer she couldn't refuse."

  "Haha, sure, I wonder how much you could get in the bargain." I wrestled with the robe, trying to preserve some decy as I disected and capped the bag I'd filled.

  "Damn, girl." Xander whistled. "You filled this ehing just now?"

  I shrugged. "Yeah, that's just what accumuted ht. I do about four of those a day."

  "Holy shit, I think your tits are bigger on the inside." she shook her head and ughed. "Okay, I'll get this over to your owners, I'll see you in a bit for waffles, yeah?"

  I stammered. "You 't just-- they're not--"

  Xander snorted. "Should I tell them you said that?"

  "No…" I grumbled. "I'll see you in a bit."

  By the time I finished sh I was w If I could get some sort of water-proof power tool to do all the fur scrubbing for me. Between that and how long it took to blow dry each leg, I felt like the potential time savings of a couple devices could add up quick. Impatiend hunger won out over the wet disfort, so I left little paw prints on the crete as I trekked back down the short sidewalk to the barn.

  Carolyn, Deyha, and Xander were crowded around a table chatting over a substantial pile of waffles. I could tell they hadn't mao find my waffle iron, but I figured that could be an improvement for a ter date.

  "Wele back, babe." Deyha pushed out a chair for me. "Feelier?"

  "Much, thanks." On a whim, I gave Deyha and Carolyn each a kiss oop of the head before sitting down, stig my to at Xander as she looked up in exaggerated expectation. "I'm sor--" I g Carolyn, who had already set her fork down, and decided to just go for it. "I'm sorry for being moody and fussy earlier this m.--" I ignored Carolyn as she grabbed my arm and ped over the robe. "-- the dreams and tig set off some unpleasant memories that were sendio dark pces, so I just wao take a moment to reset and clear all the bad feelings out of my system."

  Deyha rubbed my back, " you tell us what went wrong?"

  I took a bite of a waffle and forced myself not to rush the chewing process, "My cousins used to tickle me until I'd nearly passed out because it was funny to them, and in college one of my roommates would talk to me while I was sleeping to get me to reveal embarrassis and just fuck with me in general."

  "Oh, yikes." Carolyn murmured. "I don't want to be mean or shame you, but you have PTSD about some of the weirdest things."

  "It's not PTSD." I rolled my eyes.

  "Isn't it? Past trauma was stressing you to the point where you looked like you were about to explode, which, I gotta say, I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself, but like… How much was that stuff even happening?"

  "The tickle fights were basically any time I saw my cousins, and back then my family all lived pretty close so it robably every other month. The dream stuff was oer but…" I sighed. "That's how I found out I'm trans, and the way he kept bringing it up… I thought he was my friend at the time. We sat together for lunch almost every day and he would bring it up in front of the whole table." I took a deep breath and was disappoio find I was shaking. "Damn it." I grumbled and took another bite of my waffle.

  I gestured with my fork at the pile of waffles, feeling my eyes sting uheir bined gaze. "That's the whole story."

  Deyha patted my back but I shrugged her off. "I really don't want to--" I threw my fork down on my pte and pressed my palms to my eyes. Their pity made it fug impossible to hold everything together and I wao throw up with how siing the burning feeling was.

  I coughed to try a my breathing and wiped my eyes with my shirt. It felt absurd, and I hated that I was just proving Carolyn right. It was stupid and pathetic that this shit was guttier all these years.

  After a few deep breaths my eyes stopped leaking and I wiped my face. I stared pointedly at the table as I collected my fork aioned off another piey waffle. Nobody ig up a new versation, and I wasn't optimistic about them looking anywhere but me either. Sure, they were probably looking on with friendly but at the end of the day it wasn't that different from the lunch table in college. The weight of all their undivided attention was suffog.

  My hands shook as I tried to force myself to untense my grip on my fork, but the broader attempts to untense were utterly iive. If my jaw wasn't ched, my shoulders were tight, if my shoulders were rexed my fists were ched. It was a demented game of whack-a-mole trying to calm my whole body all at once.

  Xander spoke. "So Maddie tells me you're making progress orawberry milk thing?"

  "Yeah but--" Carolyn trailed off, she sighed. "Yeah, I've figured out the mod for synthesizing the strawberry fvor. Unfortunately it tends to hang out in the wrong pces, so I'll o refihe mod to make it work on the milk specifically."

  I tuned out their versation and sat ba my chair, rolling my shoulders back before taking a sip of water aing my arms oable. Deyha was still stealing g me, but I did my best to not be bothered by it. Carolyn had said she roud of me for taking care of myself, and I felt warmed by that. I'd averted two breakdowns now, the seore narrowly than the first, but I had done a pretty good job of wrestling the feelings bader trol, kinda like I was doing some sort of rodeo; with my owions as the bug horse that I o stay on top of. Though it occurred to me that in the past my therapists hadn't indicated that dealing with my emotions was supposed to feel like a fight, or if it did, it was supposed to be a fight that I weathered, not ohat I punched bad won.

  I could hardly call my fight for posure "letting go" of the bad thoughts, especially because of how hard I was w to push them away. No, it was more like I ag them down, pressing them into something I could overlook.

  I stared at my half-eaten waffle, feeling foolish all ain. It was almost like I was bottling. The specific thing that I'd heard tless times is the bad thing that makes explosions.

  I had to ugh, it was funny in a way, right? I bottled milk every day! Sure I'd look a little manic ughing after nearly g a few seds ago but Carolyn and Deyha knew my humor was broken anyways, I smiled at my pte, trying to feel rexed by the revetion. I tuned bato my surroundings and found that the versation had seemed to hit a lul.

  "Carolyn?"

  "Yeah, Babe?"

  "When you said you were proud of me for taking care of myself…" tears already started to form in my eyes, even as I tried to ugh through them. "Did you say that because you thought I had worked past the bad feelings?"

  Her eyes were wide with . I could tell the answer was yes, even though she hadn't so much as nodded.

  I tinued for her. "I'm starting to think…" I took a sed to try and steady my breathing, "That I might not actually be w past them."

  I wiped at my fad sat back, resting my hands oher side of my pte as suddenly, going limp was easier now.

  "I promise I'm not having some sort of mental break right now, or at least I'm no crazier than usual--" I had to stop for another breath as the weird mirth bubbled out, like I was telling a joke so funny I couldn't deliver it with a straight face. "--But it is funny right? It's fitting that I would be bottling everything, milk aions."

  "Yes dear." Carolyn reached out and covered my hand. "It's a little bit funny."

  "That's good." I sighed, still struggling to talk when my body wanted so badly to ugh and cry. "I think I herapy."

  "Yeah." Carolyn squeezed my hand. "You mentioned something to that effect."