I was an awful mage. I took the hybrid spellcasting css for fighter to give me some more flexibility but it was all intelligence stuff, rote memorization, which I was okay at, but didn’t have the patience for.

  Sometimes I spent an hour or so in the beginning Wizard css to brush up on the fundamentals. The Bubble spell was one of my fighter spells. It was a small nearly intangible sphere of force that helped deflect attacks. I just had to contort my fingers, say the magic nonsense word, and bing bang boom, ya got a Bubble.

  I contorted my hand and flung it at the training dummy the css had set up. The Bubble winked into existence. The stationary crossbow unched its bolt. The bubble shattered immediately.

  “I was hoping to see some improvement,” Professor Graves remarked.

  I shrugged and walked off. Css wasn’t how I was gonna get stronger anyway.

  Besides, Bernadette and I had a date.

  The date was nothing special. We got some candles. We smuggled some trays of food up to her dorm. We ate a little food. I shelled out for the good wine instead of bathtub hooch.

  After some romantic intimacy, we changed into warm cotton pajamas and pyed a gin rummy variant on the bed with cards that were at this point, comfortably worn.

  “What do you think about Sofia?” Bernadette asked.

  “What’s this?”

  “No, I know you had a crush on her—”

  “So did you,” I reminded her.

  “Yeah, but I got over that shit real quick.”

  “Fair.”

  “What do we think about this whole Queen of Darkness thing she has going on?”

  Truthfully I’d been trying to avoid thinking about it.

  “We haven’t talked about it much as a group, have we?” I noted.

  “No we haven’t.”

  “This isn’t some kind of test is it?”

  Bernadette ughed, and leaned back against the wall next to the bed.

  “No. And I’m not sure how I feel about the situation myself. I had a hard time when I got here. In some ways I bme her for that. But then I remember she was here alone too. If just a week here alone was enough to scar me, how much suffering could she have endured?”

  “You never talk about that first week.”

  “It sucked. Nothing too crazy. I got into a dangerous situation. Burning mp oil spshed on my back. I eventually killed the guys that hurt me. It was a whole thing, but I’m over it.”

  “Wait, who hurt you?”

  “Just an elven patrol. Thought I was a thief. They were right, but — Look, I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “You don’t have to. Come here.”

  “I was winning anyway,” she said, crawling across the game and into my p.

  I put my arms around her. I heard her sniff once, as if from tears. I figured she didn’t want me to acknowledge it, so I just held her tighter.

  “I promise I’ll get better at this stupid game,” I said, referring to gin.

  “You don’t have to,” she said, sniffing again. “I like it when I win.”

  I kissed her gently on the neck.

  “I had an idea about how this would go,” I said after some time. “I thought that I would get us all back together, we’d do the hero thing, then we’d go home. Now it doesn’t seem like that is an option. We have to kill her. Right?”

  “It looks that way,” she said.

  “But what about Helena and her dad? What about the other people that come here? If we just go home, other people could end up here like we did. We wouldn’t have actually helped people.”

  “Now you’re starting to sound like Caleb. He tried that. He tried the ‘help people’ thing and what does he have to show for it? That’s a trap. Sofia’s trapped here too. We kill her, and maybe we’re doing her a favor. Maybe if you die, you just get to go home.”

  “I don’t think it works like that,” I said. “This world is real. I have to believe that. And so death here must be real too.”

  “Maybe,” she said, crawling off of me, and standing on the cool stone floor. She refilled her gss of wine, and mine too.

  I took my gss, sipped some. She sat across from me. The soft light of the candles flickered, and shadows licked the hallows of her neck and cvicle, the side of her face. I had to shake my head a little to force myself not to just get lost in the view of her.

  “You think that Sofia wants to burn this pce down?” I asked.

  “It looks like it. From one angle. But if that was the case why be queen? Why not be a guerril fighter and slip back into the night after destroying a kingdom? Then do that over and over again until it’s all done. I think she’s become addicted to this pce, addicted like Caleb.”

  “Caleb has kids here,” I reminded her.

  “Of course,” Bernie shrugged in agreement. “But isn’t it weird how Caleb and Sofia have a kingdom? How Mark has this whole school devoted to these kids that idolize him? We’re powerful here, but the others have used that power to accumute stuff, accumute people. It’s weird.”

  “You’re telling me you don’t want to open up some kind of assassin’s guild?”

  “Oh, god no!” she said, shocked. “I’d make a terrible teacher. I’m not even much of a leader. I mean, maybe I’d want to direct some day.”

  “A py?” I asked, sipping the wine.

  “Yeah. But a school, a kingdom? What’s the point?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t think I’m the kind of guy to want that kind of thing either.”

  “Oh yeah?” she asked, crawling toward me. “What if I asked you to murder the elven king, and take his throne for me?” She ran the tips of her fingers across my neck, then kissed the skin she’d just teased. Her face came inches from mine. “Could you do that for me?”

  “Suddenly,” I said softly, “I have a lust for conquest.”

  She kissed me. It wasn’t long until I could feel the passion carrying me away from the moment. I stopped her.

  “You’re not serious, right?” I asked.

  She bit my lip.

  “Ow!”

  We both ughed.

  “No! Of course not!” she said, ying against my chest.

  “Good. But I take your point.”

  “Oh, do you? Did I have a point?”

  “Yeah. Love changes you. Caleb fell in love with an Elven Princess. Mark, I guess, fell in love with magic itself, I think. And Rachel had her band of heroes. Before that got taken from her.”

  “Was that my point?” she said, stroking my chest under the cotton of my shirt, “I thought my point was that boys are dumb, and easily maniputed.”

  “Oh, har har, very funny.”

  “I’m hirious.”

  We y in silence for a bit. The comforting heaviness of her body on my chest was soothing, and I just basked in it for a moment.

  “What happened to Sofia I wonder?” Bernadette asked. “What seduced her?”

  “Maybe vengeance? Vindictiveness?”

  “Certainly. But there’s vindictiveness, and there is ‘burning people alive in their own homes.’”

  “Right.”

  We sat up simultaneously. She moved back to her spot on the wall. I took a sip of wine, and so did she.

  “Well that was a mood killer,” I said.

  “Yep.”

  “More cards?”

  “You mean I get to kick your ass again?”

  “Hey! I’m getting better!”

  We had a delightful night after we switched to more pleasant topics. It wasn’t long until we weren’t talking much at all on account of, you know, our mouths being used for other things.

  The morning after, I woke in her dorm feeling pretty refreshed. I hadn’t slept as much as I’d like, so I was still a little groggy, but I was out of my mind in love. I felt buoyant, like I could maybe jump out the window, and fly around the tower.

  I dragged my eepy-deepy ass to the mess hall for some tea.

  The rest of the day moved quickly. I met the Bck Lions crew. They invited Berryhop to train with us. She used what she called a ‘down shifted setting’ for her crossbow and unched stuffed cotton plushes at us with it. It still kinda hurt, but did a good enough job of letting us practice dodging ranged fire without getting injured.

  After lunch, Rachel convinced us to celebrate her birthday through two of her favorite activities, getting drunk, and hitting people real hard (her third and fourth favorite activities being pottery making, and poker by the way). So we headed out to the padded floors of the training hall.

  We wrapped the wooden training weapons in padding, put on some armor, and split into two teams. The goal was to put opposing pyers on their back, or steal the fg from their back pocket (of which Rachel had two because it was her birthday). No magic items, no spells, just wits and martial ability.

  The terms were total victory, or nothing.

  Rachel had said that ‘the breeders need to be split up,’ and made sure that I was on her team and Bernie the opposing. Rude, but honestly kind of thrilling as Bernie was probably the best martial practitioner we knew, and getting a chance to test ourselves against her was exhirating.

  It was me, Rachel, and Dara on Team Drunk. Bernie, G’nush, and Braelyn were on Team Dagger. Berryhop was there too, but stayed on the sidelines firing plushes at either team indiscriminately. Cleric Luca was there to officiate (and heal if need be), as well as Professor Quentin.

  Being a competitive bunch, and raging drunk, we did not hold back.

  I sought out G’nash, but unlike our previous sparring, he didn’t take it easy. He roared with enthusiasm. We crashed into each other, him getting a couple good nocks against my neck and shoulders, sending me stumbling back, but I protected my head and swung right back, nding at least one for every two I took.

  Bernie was well practiced at fighting a rapier sized weapon by now, and leapt over and around Rachel, harassing her with her smaller short padded weapons. Rachel was outmatched but her weapon gave her plenty of reach. She used her greater mass, and power to drive the other woman back.

  The real show was Braelyn and Dara. They both wielded two longsword sized practice weapons, both knew the elven fighting style, and both moved with inhuman grace. Ducking and weaving and leaping over each other, I wanted to just stop and watch. But G’nash’s huge sword-shaped weapon and Berryhop’s projectiles kept me focused back on the fight at hand.

  I’d never fought him like this. He was always so kind, so chill. And it’s not like the dude was trying to kill me, but he wasn’t being gentle either. I was in serious trouble if I didn’t do something soon.

  “Switch!” I yelled, and Rachel dove out of Bernie’s reach, grabbed G’nush by the waist and tossed him to the mat. Before he could get up I grabbed his fg.

  “Look at you, kid,” he said, grinning like an idiot. I could feel my face flush.

  Bernie slipped up to Rachel and stole her first fg.

  “No fair!” Rachel shouted, filing her practice sword.

  I rushed in swiping at Bernie who ran around us, ughing.

  Rachel defended my back from Braelyn, who’d taken Dara’s fg, and I advanced on Bernie. Later Braelyn had said the only reason she’d won in her duel is that she was sober, but I think that sells her skill short.

  She moved in a way that reminded me of Aquin, of other elite fighters. She obviously didn’t have the stats to be a fighter, but man did she have the training.

  But I couldn’t focus on her. I had to beat my girlfriend.

  “You should just quit,” I said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Bernie paired my sword, leapt over me, and smacked me real good on the dome as she passed.

  “Good luck, baby,” she said.

  “Okay, I change my mind!”

  We both ughed. But I still swung my sword harder than before. Rachel lunged first at her, forcing her to retreat, then at Braelyn, keeping her from advancing.

  I wasn’t used to fighting back to back with Rachel. Especially with her new fighting style. But we settled into a comfortable rhythm. I made sure to swing high, passing my sword over her head, and she lunged then returned to my back.

  Then we circled around each other and Rachel was back to Bernie, and I was back to Braelyn. I roared and swished a long lunging strike out to her. She ducked and smmed her sword into my knee. I almost buckled.

  My sword was longer but I just couldn’t keep up. When I thought I had one sword parried the other tagged me in the gut. Luckily my breastpte stopped it, but it didn’t tickle.

  Okay, time to end this one way or another.

  I threw my sword at her head. She ducked. I tackled her, dashing her to the ground. Her back touched the mat, and she threw her fg down in surrender.

  As soon as I turned around to focus on Bernie, I noticed that she was right next to me. She waved my fg in my face.

  I cursed, and immediately sat down, exhausted.

  Then we all just watched the show.

  Rachel attacked Bernie’s hand, and disarmed her with a flick of her wrist. Bernie threw her other sword at her. Rachel batted it out of the air.

  Then Bernie’s feet was a blur and she dove for Braelyn’s discarded weapons. She came back up with one in each hand. Rachel rushed to keep her on the backfoot.

  The next exchange was exhirating as the practice weapons swing this way and that, padding dislodging and soon it was just wooden weapons underneath.

  Bernie sought to end it in one go, catching Rachel’s weapon with both of hers and leaping to kick her right in the face. Rachel stepped to the side, let the kick pass by her, and grab her bad arm around Bernie’s waist. Rachel then put her other hand on her, and tossed her back.

  When Bernie nded on her feet, and went back into her ready position, Rachel just waved a red fg in the air. Bernie looked at her waist. It was her fg.

  She threw her swords down, then plopped back on her butt.

  We all cheered. It was a fitting outcome for the birthday girl.

  Later, Bernadette promised that she’d not let Rachel win, and I backed her up with announcing our win-lose rate in gin rummy. She was at that point at 31-to-6 in her favor. So she wasn’t one to let those she cared about win just to soothe their ego.

  But who knows?

  Rachel wanted to drink some more, but I was already pretty much done for the night. I took Helena’s ste, and went to find somewhere to y down. I tried a couple pass codes, ying on a bench in the mess hall.

  I don’t know when I’d fallen asleep, but I was awoken by the sound humming.

  I opened my eyes and sitting on the table, just a couple yards from me, was Helena, kicking her feet and typing something into her ste.

  “What the hell?” I muttered.

  “Oops,” Helena said.