The sun rises higher in the sky, the roosters start singing, and one by one, the villagers start to wake up. The sunlight hits my paler skin, yet I do not feel its warmth. Instead, a faint discomfort creeps in, and I end up flinching a little.

  As I stare absentmindedly to the sky, a figure approaches me, and catches me off-guard, much to my dismay. Lissana pokes my sides, and starts giggling by herself. I've never understood her need to do that, it irks me how she insists on doing these things to me, she treats me with this awkward affection and closeness, one would show to their partner or... to a child. And since I'm quite brutally reminded every day I'm clearly not the former, that only leaves the latter. I can't quite know if it's just her quirks or if it's something else, something that pisses me the fuck off, because more than once has she done this in front of Roy, and sometimes i swear I can see knowing smirks from the both of them. Whenever that happens, I feel something dark wash over me, something I've been getting quite familiar with this past day.

  That familiar bitter feeling crawls over my mind, I feel something clawing at my heart begging to be unleashed, to be inflicted...

  Lissana flinches for a second and looks around in a worried daze, I tilt my head in curiosity, that unusual reaction amuses me. I kind of want to see more of it, but before I can revel on this new feeling she asks in a somber tone.

  "Did you feel that?!"

  "Feel what?" I stare at her with a playfull gaze.

  "N-Nothing, I think it was just a cold breeze... A-Anyways, has Roy woken up?" She uncomfortably shifts the matter.

  "He hasn't, should be up shortly though, if you want you can go inside and wait for him. You're no stranger after all..."

  "No need for that, I don't want to be a bother. Are you going to work now?"

  "Yes I am! You know I feel restless without something to do."

  "Can I accompany you then? I also want to make sure you're okay, you look paler than usual, if you weren't talking to me I would think you are a corpse."

  My eyes narrow briefly at that comment, it unsettles me.

  I want to get rid of this nuisance...

  "You want to watch me butchering poultry? Isn't that a bit too bloody for you?"

  "Nonsense, I'm going to be the wife of the future butcher of the village, can't go fainting at these kind of things."

  Ah yes, there is that...

  "I suppose there's no problem then..." I give a hollow reassuring smile, while on the insides I'm feeling quite the annoyance, annoyance mixed with something else...

  We walk together through the village seeking for clients like I usually do, only this time I got quite the nosy company. The first client pops up soon enough, a plump red haired woman approaches us. She greets Lissana warmly and looks at me with visible disdain.

  "What can I help you with?" I ask with a cold tone, colder than I have ever used with someone. Both Lissana and the woman look at me with an unbelieveng look in their eyes.

  "That fat chicken over there..." She speaks in a mild tone with a more 'agreeable' look in her face.

  I nod and go over to the chicken, as soon as I approach it, the little things starts trembling and shaking violently, like it has seen the most dreadfull of beigns. I look curiosly at it, as I strech my hands towards the chicken, it freezes up and I catch it quite easily.

  'How unusual...' I whisper to myself.

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  I delicately run my finger up its neck, I apply the usual strenght, it's just that my fingers end up digging through the neck of the bird, instead of a pop I hear a squelch. Odd... I didn't put that much force in my grip, neither do I remember being capable of this. I put these thoughts aside as I enjoy that sweet smell once more.

  I'm starting to enjoy this, not gonna lie...

  Once I have defeathered the creature like usual, I start gutting it, as I do, I start noticing the intricacies of the dead chicken, how its muscles stick to the bone, how the tendons stretch and snap when I pull on them and how even after its death the chicken's heart pulses ever so slightly.

  How peculiar!

  How wonderful!

  This goes on and on, again and again. As I repeat the process multiple times, the visceral feeling of just wanting to caress the innards of the poultry, is overwhelmed by a morbid curiosity of their functions and how they work together. I want to know everything... Nay... I need to know everything. During the day I start to linger a bit too long over the innards, tilting them, pressing them, feeling their weight. I almost want to do this while they are alive, see how they would be different. While I'm doing this to yet another goose, I trace my fingers on its veins, feeling their slight pulsing, marveling a the fact that moments ago they were thrumming with life.

  I start to wonder, just how different a cow would look like...

  How different would a human be...

  Lissana has been watching me closely all this while, I wonder what does she actually hopes to achieve with this.

  Lissana trembles for a bit, her eyes flicking nervously. "What are you doing Kael? Why are you playing with a goose's intestines?"

  I look at her tilting my head a bit. "I'm curious, that's all."

  "About what?" She asks with a soft but uneasy voice.

  "About why you're with me." My tone sharpens without thinking. I relish in the discomfort that seems to settle over her.

  "I said I want to get used to this. For Roy."

  "That's a lie though..."

  Her eyes widen, and I see a brief flicker of panic in them. She stammers, trying to find her words.

  "W-What do you mean?" I notice the tremble in her eyes intensify from the one from yesterday, betraying the unease she's trying to hide.

  I take a slow breath, savoring the moment. "If you trully wanted that, you would've gonne to Roy." My gaze lingers on her, cold and unmoving.

  "But he would have been doing this to cows, sheep and goats." As I hear that excuse, a wicked grin slithers over my face.

  I let out a low chuckle, a dark and almost predatory sound. "Guts are guts, blood is blood, it matters not whether from poultry or cattle, they're just bigger my dear Lissana..." My grin goes wider, something sharper creeping into it, something new, yet familiar.

  She looks at me while trembling, her shoulder shivering, yet they are not shivering from the cold.

  "Fine! If you don't want me here I will leave." Her words are rushed, laced with a mix of hurt and fear. She looks at me one last time, but her eyes show the want for something else... a different response perhaps, one she shall not receive, not anymore.

  "That would be for the best." I can't even feel the weight of my words anymore, and by the looks of it, neither can she.

  As I say that I see an unbelieving expression grow on her face, it then turns into something else, something I can't quite read. She stares at me with wide eyes, she trembles a bit more, turns around and leaves. As she walks away, one thought crosses my addled mind, 'how fun...', it is indeed a new feeling. The client of the goose, who was watching this in a front row seat keeps staring at me, until I grow Impatient.

  "The fuck you're looking at? You lost something?"

  He gulps loudly and points with shivering fingers at the bird still in my hands. My eyes narrow and I force an appeasing smile.

  "Ah yes this... I suppose I should finish my work, yes?"

  He nods weakly. I expertly cut the bird and hand him the chunks of meat.

  I finish my work for the day and head home, lost in my tumultuous thoughts. Things are changing at too fast a pace for my liking, but they're also being infuriatingly slow. As I near Roy's house, I notice him, and his parents at his side, standing in front of the door. Their expressions are not good ones. I approach them without the slightest worry, as I do so, Roy starts to rant in that insufferable voice of his.

  'How the fuck did I endure this for all those years?'

  As I wonder in disbelief over my own poor tastes, Roy speaks to me in that self-righteous tone he believes is intimidating. "Lissana told me what happened... what's wrong with you?" He looks at me with an admonishing gaze.

  I look at him stupefied, in utter disbelief he would actually want to confront me over this. "What? Should I entertain her while you're unavailable? I don't remember having signed up for that... it's not my job to do that, it hasn't been ever since you know when." Word for word my voice grows darker, I'm getting more and more detached from it all.

  His face contorts in shock. "That's not what I-"

  Before he can make any dumb excuse, i shove him aside as I speak once more. "Not interested. So fuck off. I'm tired." I brush past his parents, who seem too stuned to do or say anything, as I make my way inside.

  I can't actually sleep anymore. But dealing with these people does make me wish I still could.

  Let's see what tomorrow shall bring.