Chapter 13

  The shadow was standing in front of the girl, ready to attack her.

  “You !” screamed someone behind her, “Project the magic now !”

  The girl turned around. When Blair saw that man running towards her and screaming nonsense, she felt a sudden connection to the world and the reality. A sensation she only felt when she was with her twin brother, Jo. Fixed in reality, fused with her emotions.

  “Blair ! Are you okay ?” screamed Jo, who was running alongside the other guy.

  In all the chaos, the girl felt relieved upon seeing the most precious person she had in the world. The sudden flow of emotions inside of her made her cry. She opened her mouth but no sound could come out. She wanted to tell Jo about how much she missed him, how sad she was that she never saw him again after he went to prison, about how scared she was right now, and how she was worried about him. Blair never had to deal with those emotions before. And the situation she was in wouldn’t really allow her to take the time to express herself. The shadow extended its long arms towards the girl.

  “Move you idiot !” yelled the stranger. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “I don’t know which one of you is my partner, but you should project your magic soon otherwise we’re done.” he shouted.

  Jo dragged his sister behind his back to protect her.

  “You don’t get to talk to her like that.” He said, clearly pissed.

  The stranger was about to retort when the shadow jumped towards the three adults. One of its arms was distorted. Tiny hands grew from it and tried to grab them. Luckily for them, a wind shield stopped the attack and pushed the hands back. Two other voices came out from behind.

  “Now, now, children. There is no need to fight each other.” said the elderly woman who was advancing towards them very slowly.

  “She is right,” said an elderly man walking near her, “we are here to protect you. Let’s take a deep breath, youngsters. Jo, bring your sister to the dragonline. You will be safer there. And Sasha, accompany them.”

  “But what about this demon ?” asked the man whose name was Sasha.

  “We will deal with it.” said the old woman “do not worry about it young boy, we will follow you.”

  After a few glances were exchanged, Jo grabbed Blair’s hand and they both started running towards a dark alley. Blair, who was still caught up in all her emotions, looked at her brother and couldn’t help but remember the past.

  Blair didn’t have many fond memories of her childhood. The world always seemed dull in her eyes. Nothing ever picked her interest. Her parents would enroll her and her brother in multiple activities: piano, sports, painting and acting. She never outright refused to participate, it was simply better than doing nothing. As a child, Blair felt comfortable around her twin brother, who was experiencing the same disconnection to reality as her. Their lack of care and empathy for others were blamed on their age. ? Kids are immature and don’t know any better. ? It never really bothered Blair at that time, mostly because she never gave much thought to those remarks. She was simply discovering the world with Jo. Maybe by observing more of those around her, she could understand them.

  Blair always remembered her first day at elementary school. There were a lot more kids and noises than what she was used to.

  “Why are they all running around and chatting ?” she thought.

  At the sound of the bell, the teachers called their students one by one. Jo and Blair were in the same class, but not seated at the same table. This deeply annoyed Blair.

  “Can I be next to Jo please ?” asked Blair to her teacher.

  “No” answered the teacher “I took a long time to think about the seating. To avoid any disturbance, you won’t be seated next to him. It is the same rule for everyone.”

  “But I wanna be next to Jo!” screamed Blair. Her brother joined the conversation.

  “Me too.” said the little boy “I want to be near Blair.”

  “I said no” affirmed the teacher with a decisive tone “go back to your seats.”

  The other students began to intervene, asking to change their seats. Some even started crying.

  “Silence!” shouted the teacher.

  The situation angered Blair even more. Jo threw his table and chair over. He then took his backpack and threw it at the teacher. As for Blair, she started screaming as loud as she could. The director of the school arrived.

  “What is happening here ?” asked the director. Before the teacher could answer, Blair cried and screamed.

  “I wanna be next to my twin brother.”

  “So be it. Why didn’t you allow it?”

  The teacher was caught off guard.

  “I designed a specific seating for the students so that there won’t be any disturbance in my class.”

  “They are five, let them sit wherever they want.” retorted the director in a condescending tone before leaving.

  “Fine,” said the teacher, who seemed less confident than before the intervention of the director. “Blair, you can sit next to Jo.”

  The twins both happily screamed. Contrary to the teacher’s belief, the students were calm and attentive once they were able to sit where they wanted.

  The world was boring, and the people around were useless. Those thoughts spawned in Blair’s mind soon after she arrived in middle school. She knew her brother was feeling the same. Maybe it was because the teachers there wouldn’t allow them to sit next to each other. No matter how many times she screamed, it didn’t change anything. The school would call her parents. Her parents would scold her for her childish behavior. With time, she accepted her fate. Blair grew naturally distant from her brother. They stopped hanging out, even at home. There was no explanation for that, except that’s what it was now. Sometimes she could see Jo getting in trouble and fighting with the other kids. It didn’t really annoy her.

  “ One of us is having fun I guess” she thought, “he found something to do. At least he isn’t bored all day.”

  The classes were long and boring, the other kids were talking too much about tedious things like love, romance, tv shows and sex. Blair couldn’t understand what was so fascinating about all this. After hearing her comrades talk about certain tv shows and music, she tried to look into it. Nothing was good enough for her. She labeled every activity that was proposed to her as a waste of time. Blair even attempted to befriend them. But she was unable to truly hold a conversation with someone and she failed. Her parents were called to the school countless times for Jo’s violent habits, each time they blamed Blair for being unable to control her brother. And yet she didn’t care. When Blair looked at them, she wasn’t pleased to see them, reassured by their presence, scared to disappoint them or angry that they talked to her like that. She felt nothing. At some point it made her curious. Why do other people seem to have emotions she doesn't ? What was wrong with those people ? Or maybe something was wrong with her ? Is that why her parents brought her and Jo to a therapist ?

  At first, she was simply curious about this therapist, who was he and why was he talking to her ? Blair was finally able to converse freely with someone, other than her brother, about her understanding of the world. She thought those conversations were stimulating. It didn’t change her perspective, nor did she develop empathy , but she thought it would help her gain some guidance.

  “What happened this week Blair ? Anything you want to talk about ?” asked the therapist.

  Blair was sitting on the ground, folding papers.

  “There was an exam at school about geography.”

  “Was it easy ?”

  “Yeah, it’s not that complicated to remember the names of the different countries and seas, and to place them on a map.”

  “For some people it can be complicated.”

  “I guess.”

  “Anything else happened ? Has your brother gotten into another fight ?”

  “Yeah. Against Timothy. Timothy went at him first. But Jo is stronger so he kicked his butt. I think it’s the second time since he was suspended.”

  “And what did your parents say ?”

  “They’re looking for another school for him. They also punished him. He can’t go out of his room except when he needs to do chores and eat.”

  “That doesn’t sound easy for you. He must be monopolizing all of their attention.”

  “I’m fine. Like I said last week, I don’t really need their attention.”

  “I see. You also said last time that you wanted to befriend that boy, Elli ?”

  “Yeah, because the other kids were bullying him, so I thought maybe we were the same.”

  “How did it go ?”

  “I don’t know. He hates everyone, it’s kinda boring.”

  “Is it because he is being bullied that he hates everyone ?”

  “Yes, and also because he has bad grades, and his parents don’t listen to him.”

  “Seems to me like you're in a similar situation to him.”

  “I guess, yeah. It probably looks like that.”

  “What makes you think that you’re so different from him?”

  “Because… He cares so much. He cares about his parents, and the other students. I don’t get why.”

  “Probably because his parents and the students, those people who neglect him and hurt him, their actions have a direct influence over his life.” The therapist paused a bit, “And I think that’s why you’re drawn to him. I believe it’s a good thing to hang out with him. This friendship might help you understand the world, but also yourself.”

  “I know myself.”

  “But you can’t affirm that you will always stay the same.”

  “I don’t see myself being different though.”

  “You can’t know something before experiencing it. That is a rule which can be applied to everyone. When you were born, do you think your parents would have seen all the problems that came with parenthood and childcare ? Of course not ! No one is ever prepared for that because life is unpredictable. You don’t know what will happen to you, and that’s okay.”

  Blair looked at her therapist for a while. She had folded all the papers on the table.

  “I guess you’re right.” she said, satisfied with the conversation.

  Once she entered highschool, Blair gained much more freedom, probably due to her perfect behavior compared to her twin brother. Her parents seemed to trust her more than Jo, and allowed her to wander wherever she wanted. She soon completely stopped thinking about her twin brother. She understood that him being in prison was the consequences of his own actions. Blair simply needed to find something or someone else to make her feel alive and complete. It was around that time that she got in contact with drugs.

  She was going to the park near her school. At the entrance were sitting and laying down some of her classmates. Blair looked at them with curiosity while they were taking their drugs.

  “Why are they doing this?” she thought.

  “Hey!” One of them was looking at her, probably because she was staring too much. “Want some ?”

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  Blair hesitated. She was definitely interested, but didn’t want her parents to punish her.

  “Maybe next time.” she replied.

  When she got back home, Blair headed straight to her room.

  “Life is garbage. What’s wrong with wanting to have fun ? Jo has all the fun he wants, why can’t I?”

  It’s with that thought in mind that she woke up the next day. After school, instead of going to the park like she used to, she decided to join her classmate.

  “So you do want to try.” said the girl who called Blair out the day before.

  “Yeah, if that’s not a problem ?”

  “Of course not. Come on, you’re gonna love it.” affirmed the girl while giving Blair some pills.

  Blair swallowed them all at once. The girl screamed at her.

  “Oh my gosh ! Not all of them !”

  Blair looked at the girl confused.

  “Are you crazy ?” Asked the girl. “You’re supposed to take only one.”

  “Why did you give me the others then ?”

  “You’re not gonna come to me every time you wanna take one !”

  “Is anything gonna happen to me ?”

  “Nothing bad I hope. What’s your name ?”

  “Blair.”

  “I’m Louana. You’re gonna stay with me for a while. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Lay down here.”

  Blair nodded and obeyed Louana. The effects of the drugs were showing up. The colors were brighter, and she could feel her body getting lighter.

  “I can see you talking.” said Blair.

  “That’s because I’m talking to you.” replied Louana, amused. “You know, I’ve always thought you had a stick up your ass, but turns out you’re nicer than I thought.”

  Blair wanted to reply but couldn’t. Her thoughts were a mess. She passed out.

  Blair woke up a few hours later.

  “Hey sunshine!”

  “Louana ?”

  “Yup it’s me.”

  “What happened ?”

  “Nothing much. You passed out due to taking too much of these little pills.” she replied while shaking a plastic bag in front of her eyes.“What time is it ?” Asked Blair.

  “Around 5pm. Here take this.” She threw the bag at Blair.

  “Are you sure ?”

  “Yeah, take that as a token of our new friendship. Just remember, don’t take them all at once.”

  “Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. See you around.”

  Louana left. Blair hid the plastic bag in her coat and ran back home. When she arrived, her parents saw her pale skin and sweat.

  “Are you okay ? What happened to you ?” Asked the mother, concerned.

  “Did you get in trouble ?” followed the father in an accusatory tone.

  “Arman! That’s enough!” replied the mother.

  “What ?! Jo is always beating the shit out of someone or in jail. Maybe something’s wrong with her. Her therapist said…”

  “Her therapist doesn’t know her like we do.” claimed the mother, cutting the father off. “Are you sick ?”

  “I think I am.” answered Blair. “I feel dizzy.”

  “Okay. Go lay down in your room, I will call you when it’s time to eat.”

  Blair left for her room. On her way, she was able to hear her parents arguing.

  “You can’t treat your sick child like that, Arman!”

  “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s already so hard to deal with our son. I don’t want our family to be any more broken. I’m gonna apologize to her later, okay ?”

  “Okay, I understand. But, don’t treat her too harshly. I’m sure she has a lot of pressure on her shoulders already. I don’t want our little baby girl to fall too.”

  Blair closed the door of her room. She took out the plastic bag of pills and hid it in her room. She then took one of her calendars and decided to highlight the days she was planning on taking the drugs. Not too many times and at a low dosage so that she could control it.

  Time passed and without noticing, she soon became addicted to it. She was able to hide it from her parents for a while. Until her grades started to fail. Her parents, worried, decided to send her back to her therapist.

  “Hello Blair. It’s been a while. 2 or 3 years maybe ? Why are you back here ? Your parents told me you had difficulties with your grades.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know. It’s becoming harder to focus on class nowadays. And I’m having a hard time memorizing the lessons.”

  “Is something on your mind ?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Does Jo still have troubles at school ?”

  “He is in prison now.”

  “Oh wow.”

  “Yeah. He has been in and out a lot. As soon as he gets out, he beats someone and goes back to jail.”

  “That must be tough. Does that impact you ?”

  “Not really. We’re not that close.”

  “Yeah. Do you have any friends ? Someone close to you who you can talk to about your troubles ?”

  “I’ve made friends.”

  “That’s great.”

  “I’m really close to them. Especially this girl Louana.”

  “When did you two start to hang out together ?”

  “A few months ago.”

  “And what do you do with her ?”

  “We hang out.”

  “Is that all ?”

  “We… Louana, she… We took some stuff. She … she gave me some stuff.”

  “What stuff ?”

  “Some drugs.”

  “Okay.”

  “And… I’ve been taking those pills for a while now. Since we started hanging out.”

  “Why did you take them ?”

  “Because… I was tired of not feeling anything, and when I take those pills, I feel like I’m in a completely different world.”

  “I see.”

  “The first time I took too many of them. But after that, I’ve been taking them at a much lower dosage.”

  “How many times a week did you take them ?”

  “Once a week, at the beginning. But now I’m more at one every two days.”

  “And I assume your parents don’t know about this.”

  “No, I haven’t told them.”

  “Okay, I get it. I understand that it must be difficult to feel so different from others. The only person who feels the same way as you is in prison. You’re a teenager who is having a hard time adjusting to the world.”

  Blair nodded.

  “I can’t help you right now. I don’t have the means to help you. So I’m gonna talk to your parents about your addiction problem, because you do have an addiction problem which is ruining your grades of course, but more importantly, is ruining your physical and mental health. So I’m gonna talk to your parents, and we’re gonna try to see if you can go to rehab. Are you okay with that ?”

  Blair nodded again. The therapist called her parents. When they got inside, the therapist sat them down and explained everything.

  “I knew something was wrong with this one…”

  “Arman !” screamed the mother.

  “Oh come on Kylee. Jo is in jail all the time, why would she be different ?”

  “I can’t believe you would say something like that.”

  The therapist interjected.

  “Listen, I think it is best to focus on what can be done from now on. Blair needs you. She needs your love and support.”

  “Of course.” said the mother, crying, “Anything for our baby.”

  “We won’t give up on you Blair.” declared the father, “We love you. But please, don’t be like Jo, don’t ruin our efforts, okay ?”

  “Okay, I won’t.” replied the teenager.

  Two weeks later, Blair was sent to rehab. Life was different there. No school, no social obligations, no drugs available at all. It was harsh at first. The teenager was suffering from drug cessation. She was always pale, in cold sweat, her heart was hurting her. She became sensitive to sounds and lights. The group therapy was difficult for her at first, she couldn’t focus on anything. The doctors made her follow a specific schedule, whether she liked it or not didn’t matter. The schedule became the most important part of Blair’s rehabilitation. She clung to it, as the only way to keep her sanity. A year passed before she even noticed. She was coming back from a group therapy session when she found a nurse packing her luggages. It was time for her to go home. At the main entrance stood her father. Blair approached him. The man suddenly hugged her.

  “I missed you.” uttered Arman.

  Blair was surprised. She never saw him acting this way before.

  “Where is mother ?”

  “She is at home with Jo. He got out of prison a few days ago.”

  The man finally let go of her.

  “Let’s go home” he said while taking Blair’s luggages.

  The following months were peaceful. The twins were happy to finally be reunited, and the parents were relieved to see their family whole again. The children obviously had to follow some strict rules: They were not allowed to leave the house without one of the parents; the access to the meds drawer was forbidden; and they couldn’t say no to the parents’ orders. Blair and Jo were spending most of their time doing chores. They were both used to following a schedule. If all the chores were completed, the two of them would go to their room to study. Their parents were impressed by their children. As long as Blair and Jo were side by side, there was no violent interaction nor drugs. One night, Blair was sitting in her bedroom, waiting for her brother and father to bring back some pizzas. She was laying in her bed, numb. Time passed without realizing that they never came back. Someone knocked on the door. She heard her mother opening it. Hungry, Blair got up. It was a police officer. Jo had gotten into a fight. Someone tried to rob them, injuring the father while doing so. Jo, in an act of rage, slammed the robber’s head against the ground with his tail. The police arrived quickly and were able to put Jo in detention. Due to Jo’s antecedent, he was most likely to go back to prison. As for the father, he was already at the hospital. Blair looked at them.

  “Where are the pizzas ?” she asked.

  A trial was held, due to the circumstances of the fight, Jo had to stay in prison for only 6 months. When he got out of prison, Arman told his son that he was no longer welcome inside his house. It was the last time that Blair ever saw her twin brother. Arman and Kylee sat Blair down and warned her of the consequences of a relapse. If they saw her near a drug dealer, or found drugs in the house, they would kick her out immediately.

  Once Blair turned twenty, she applied to multiple jobs and found one as a secretary. Everything looked fine on the outside. Blair had a schedule and was following it. Until she met an old friend. Blair was walking back home, when she noticed a familiar face. That person noticed her too and approached her.

  “Blair ? Blair from Aryial highschool ?”

  “Louana.”

  “Hey !” Louana taped Blair’s shoulder, “what happened to you, girl ? Heard you went to rehab or something ?”

  “Yeah, for a year.”

  “Damn, that’s cool. I wish I could do the same.”

  “I see.”

  “You didn’t change at all, you’re exactly the same. That’s crazy. Wanna hang out ?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Come on, have some fun.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I know you, you’re not fine. You told me multiple times how dull your life was before taking drugs.”

  “I don’t take drugs anymore.”

  “I know, I know. I’m not gonna give you any. I’m simply asking you to spend some time with me. For old times sake ?”

  Blair was hesitating.

  “Come on girl ! I swear I won’t force you to take drugs or anything like that. I simply wanna spend some time with you. We missed you, you know ? Some other dudes from highschool are here too. I’m sure they will be pleased to see you.”

  “Fine, but I can’t stay for too long, I have to go back home.”

  “Why ? You’ve got a kid to go back to ?”

  Blair didn’t answer. The women headed towards a small dark alley. A group of young adults were sitting near the back door of a bar.

  “Hey guys ! Look who I brought !”

  “Who’s that ?” asked a man.

  “A friend from highschool.”

  “Oh my gosh, Blair is that you ?” asked another man.

  “Yeah it’s her !” Screamed Louana, “Come here girl." She said to Blair, holding her hands for her to sit down.

  The group started chatting and laughing. They were telling Blair about what they’ve been through during the years they didn’t see her. The atmosphere seemed light and playful. Until one of them got a needle out of its pocket and started to share it with the others. Blair looked at them getting high. She knew it was bad. That she had to go home. But deep down she was longing for more than a colorless life full of restrictions and schedule. She wanted more than simply being alive. Louana looked at her with a smirk on her face.

  “I know you want it.” she claimed while holding the needle in her face.

  Blair thought about it, and the consequences that it would have on her life. She grabbed the needle.

  She was able to fool her parents for a while. Blair was able to keep working like she used to, and she followed her schedule. She simply added a “friends night” on it. It was the excuse she gave to her parents so that they let her stay outside later than usual. When it really was her getting high and wasted. It all went down when she overdosed. She ended up at the hospital. Her parents were informed and came to check on her. Once they learned what happened, they left, without telling her anything. Blair was discharged from the hospital. She waited for her parents to pick her up, but they never came. So she walked home. The door was closed, so she knocked. Her father opened the door and gave her a bag and a luggage full of clothes. He didn’t talk to her, nor looked at her. He simply handed her over her stuff and closed the door. Blair had nowhere to go, she contacted Louana who agreed to let her sleep on her couch. She went back to work the next morning, and was called by HR. Her parents told them about her drug addiction. They decided to fire her. She had now lost her house and her job. With the help of a social worker, Blair was able to find a new job at a supermarket. It wasn’t great and she was underpaid. But that’s all she had, that job and Louana. From this point Blair had completely abandoned the schedule. She would go to work and once it was done she would spend all of her time and money doing drugs with Louana. This lasted for five to six years. Until Louana passed away. She was wasted and decided to go take a nap in the ocean. She never woke up from that nap.

  Blair became a mess. She lost her job, couldn’t pay rent so she lost a home again. It was late at night, she was walking in the city, searching for a place to sleep. A shadow appeared in front of her. It didn’t look like a person. It was long and skinny, no eyes, no mouth, no tail. It tried to attack her. She dodged but fell on the ground. That’s when she heard the voice of the man.