Holy Rollers: A Bowling Match for the Ages

  “Wait,” I said, staring at Arias. “You’re going bowling?”

  Arias grinned, adjusting his perfectly tailored jacket. “Yes.”

  “With… the Pope?”

  “Yes.”

  I blinked. “Like, the Pope? Vatican Pope? Holiness, robes, wisdom, all that?”

  Arias checked his watch. “Yes, Darian. There is only one.”

  I rubbed my temples. “How did this even happen?”

  Arias shrugged. “I met him at an event, we had a nice chat, and now we bowl.”

  “You had a ‘nice chat’ with the spiritual leader of over a billion people?”

  “Yes.”

  “And now you’re going bowling.”

  “Correct.”

  I sighed. “Do I even want to ask what happens if you win?”

  Arias smiled. Too innocently.

  “Darian,” he said, picking up his coat, “I always win.”

  The Bowling Alley

  Arias and Pope Francis walked into a very normal, very mortal bowling alley in Rome.

  The staff, upon realizing who just walked in, promptly lost their minds.

  The manager, a man named Roberto, immediately ran up. “Holiness! It is an honor! What brings you here?”

  The Pope, smiling warmly, simply said, “Bowling.”

  The staff had to take a minute.

  Arias patted Roberto’s shoulder. “We’ll need shoes.”

  Still in shock, the manager waved frantically at the nearest employee, who rushed to retrieve bowling shoes like they were handling sacred relics.

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  The Pope—who was already chatting with some children near the arcade—sighed. “Arias, my son, you know my knees are not what they used to be.”

  Arias grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you.”

  The Pope squinted at him. “Lies.”

  The Game Begins

  By the time they reached their lane, word had spread.

  The entire bowling alley was now watching.

  A little girl whispered, “Is the Pope about to bowl?”

  Her father whispered back, “I think so.”

  The Pope smiled, rolling up his sleeves. “I shall go first.”

  He picked up a ball, walked to the lane with the grace of a man at peace with the universe, and gently rolled it down the lane.

  It glided perfectly.

  Strike.

  The crowd exploded in cheers.

  Arias smirked. “Not bad, Your Holiness.”

  The Pope dusted off his hands. “The Lord guides my aim.”

  Arias picked up his ball. “Well, let’s see if the Lord can beat a god of war.”

  He bowled with casual precision.

  Strike.

  The crowd gasped.

  A rivalry was born.

  The Competition Heats Up

  Frame after frame, neither missed.

  They matched each other perfectly—strike after strike, frame after frame.

  The crowd was completely silent now, watching in awe.

  Even the staff had stopped working.

  A little boy whispered, “I think this is the most important game of bowling ever.”

  A nun crossed herself.

  The manager, eyes wide, turned to Roberto. “Should we… should we stop them?”

  Roberto shook his head. “No. We let it happen.”

  More people arrived. Social media had caught wind of the event, and now the alley was packed. News cameras arrived. Vatican security stood off to the side, half-amused, half-horrified. A sports commentator had somehow found his way in and began live commentary.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we are witnessing history. Two titans, locked in a battle of skill, precision, and divine will.”

  Arias smirked. The Pope said nothing, merely adjusting his grip on his bowling ball.

  The Final Frame

  It all came down to one roll.

  Arias and the Pope were tied.

  The Pope rolled.

  Strike.

  The crowd went wild.

  Arias picked up his ball.

  He grinned at the Pope.

  “Shall I go easy on you, Your Holiness?”

  The Pope smiled back.

  “No.”

  Arias bowled.

  The ball rolled.

  Silence.

  Then—

  Strike.

  A perfect tie.

  The bowling alley exploded in applause.

  The Pope laughed, patting Arias on the back. “Well done, my friend.”

  Arias grinned. “I suppose the Lord and war gods are evenly matched today.”

  The Pope chuckled. “Perhaps.”

  The cameras continued flashing. Reporters shoved microphones in their faces.

  “Your Holiness! What do you have to say about this historic match?”

  The Pope smiled. “We have proven that faith and skill can coexist. Now—who wants pizza?”

  The crowd cheered.

  Arias smirked. “Best part is, we’re putting it on the Vatican’s tab.”

  A round of celebratory pizza followed. Vatican officials tried to protest the expense, but the Pope waved them off. “It is a small price to pay for an evening of joy.”

  That was how the Pope and the god of war took over an entire Italian bowling alley for the greatest game ever played—and how the internet exploded over #HolyStrike.