“That’s what I thought. I’m pissed, I’m tired, and I don’t want to hear it. Now I’m going to sleep, and all of us can have a nice chat in the morning.” Steve climbed into the bed and closed his eyes.

  “Dick…” Ryland muttered

  Even The Will agreed.

  —---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  The moon set as the first rays of sun crept into the room. Stretching out his limbs, Steve slowly awoke. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and.

  “Aoierah,” He stuttered and fell out of bed.

  Sitting on his pillow was the reanimated mouse, the broken critter just…staring. Each milky eye unblinking as it peered deep into his soul.

  “Yeah, creepy, isn’t it? I remember when Lil Ry did that to me on my first night. Welcome to the club,” Ryland chuckled.

  In reality, Ryland ordered the mouse to do it. He just waited for his friend to wake up. Steve's reaction was a bit over the top. He really needed to work on his nerve. The man was far too skittish, but it made for a hilarious scene. The poor [Friend of the Dead] was tangled in blankets, squirming on the floor. Even Ry’s body watched with amusement, the zombie casually chewing on its morning breakfast.

  “Ryland, I swear to the gods above and below if you say one more word…”

  Ryland floated silently and waited. Steve wiggled out of the smothering blankets and tossed them to the side. He wore nothing but cotton briefs that needed replacing. Its elastic band barely held, and a hole formed near the thigh. Ryland wanted to comment on it but held his tongue.

  Glancing in the mirror, Steve fixed his hair and quickly got dressed.

  CONGRATULATIONS

  “By the cold bollocks of Deas,” Steve squealed as The Will slammed into his brain.

  It had never been that loud before, and the screaming voice rang in his ears. Will paused, letting the man recover from the abrupt announcement.

  Congratulations on reaching Level 7. You have created a new life or, well, kinda. That, alongside your impeccable leadership skills and grandiose display of talent, has pushed you to a new tier. Bow down to the mighty and amazing Steve. The Level 7 nightmare of innkeepers and bandits. His impressive feats include relying on others to do his job and stealing all the credit. Screaming like a madman in the wee hours of the night and rudely interrupting those trying to help. Spend your skills wisely!

  That was a lengthy level-up message. Not only has he pissed off the entire congregation of Deas, but even The Will was pissy. Opening his skill list, Steve was surprised by the selection offered. All previous choices were gone and replaced with…eccentric abilities.

  Active: Loudmouth

  Sometimes, you just can’t stand letting others speak. When activated, make your voice heard. Rudely interrupt the current speaker and talk over those around. Precursor to faux pas and other socially rude abilities.

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Active: Grating Voice

  Really cement how much people dislike you. Shift your voice into more annoying sounds. Transformation is based on who is in the crowd. Enjoy speaking like a squeaky door. Precursor to other negative voice modulations

  Active: Unapologetic Dick

  Never take accountability for your actions. Burn those bridges and those that care for you. When activated, ignore the feeling of guilt when lying, fighting, or just being a dick. As long as you never apologize, enjoy being a self-righteous prick.

  “What in the 30 hells is this?” Steve tried to close the tab. He needed to talk with Ry about this.

  Nope, not getting off that easy. You pick and choose now.

  Why was The Will acting like this? Ryland caused this entire incident in the first place. Clearly, he was being punished for talking back to that ever-present thing. Had others been offered abilities like this? At least he could sell the information to researchers back in the city. Nobody could figure out what The Will was; any clue could fetch a reasonable sum of gold. There was no real point in fighting back. Clicking [Loudmouth], he finished the level.

  “OK I’m sorry, I’ll not lash out next time,” Steve directed upward.

  “Uhh, what you doing there buddy?” Ryland asked

  “Just making amends. Now let’s try this again.”

  “Sure, So uhh Sorry for last night. I just thought we could use a bit of extra gold.”

  “I’ll forgive you this once. But Ryland, please, just take a moment before causing a scene. We might be freed from the clergy, but they will be back on our trail if we make one wrong move.”

  “Ok, buddy, no stealing unless it is absolutely necessary.”

  “And I am sorry for yelling. I was stressed, but that doesn’t excuse being a loudmouth, grating, and unapologetic dick” Steve glanced upwards.

  “I…uhh, I wouldn’t go that far with it, Steve. We all crash out at some point. I’d say you handled it better than some of my teammates,” Ry chuckled. It was true. He could really get his squad going.

  Both stared at each other for a bit. The only sound coming from the two undead shuffling about the room.

  “OH, that reminds me!” Ryland jumped

  “I heard they were bringing a full inquisitor to the bandit camp. Guards thought there was something off about the incident and requested a bit deeper investigation.”

  “Wait, what? No, no no no. Ryland that is bad, that’s really bad. We…We need to go.” Steve shot up and started to pack.

  “Why? It’s not like they will be here for a while. We got plenty of time.”

  “Ryland, I know you don’t study magic. But if they have a half-competent detective, he will pick up the lingering remnants of dark mana. There are VERY few legal classes that use it, and with the priests already out for [Necromancer]s, it won’t be hard to connect the two.”

  “Oh…Yeah. So, uhh, gameplan?” Ryland asked

  “Find a new driver, get to the city, and lay low. Hopefully, they will be stuck searching the woods and ignore our trail.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll prep dead Ry and the mouse. You good with everything else?”

  “Yup, I’ll see you tonight,” Steve replied. The [Friend of the Dead] quickly left the room, leaving the three alone. Trying to keep his promise, Ryland patiently waited for his return.

  It didn’t take too long for Steve to wobble into the lodge. Once again, he decided on the barrel method. Dead Ry was used to hiding and climbed in without much fuss. It helped that they’d dumped a good amount of treats on the bottom. Meanwhile, his new mouse friend climbed into his pants pocket. With the crew gathered, they waited for the delivery boy to load the wagon.

  This time, Steve was able to join a full caravan. There was always protection in numbers, and they'd be OK with a six-wagon procession. It would be a two-day journey back to the capital, two days dealing with talkative merchants and other inquisitive guards. Steve spun a backstory in case of campfire chatter. With all things accounted for, they set off. The village slowly faded into the darkness of the night.