Ivy found herself overseeing a dark windy cliff in her black robe with indigo fiery ivies traces on the robe. She stood with her ultimate sword merged from the seven swords she gradually found after learning their lessons; confusion, revenge, fear, loneliness, love, happiness, and acceptance.

  Why do I still feel the pain? Haven’t I learned all seven values? Shouldn’t I be freed? She questioned herself.

  That goes to show you still hold on to your humanity… A familiar man’s voice startled her.

  “Who’s there? Who are you?!” She yelled as she looked around before the voice chuckled.

  Don’t doubt yourself, my love… You’re meant to be the Princess of the Seven Swords. It had always been your destiny. Cause if you had gone down another path, it would only be worse for you… The voice concluded as flashes of the path she had not chosen appeared before her.

  She saw her happy self with Avinha, easily smitten by his jokes. She noticed his charming eyes genuinely admiring her blissful self. A sting of tears welled in her eyes as she gripped her sword tighter. Her heart ached the same way it did for Jeremy.

  She knew a catastrophe was coming to that blissful moment. True enough, the tower of reflection took justice on her as she was imprisoned with Avinha in the tower for eternity. Instead of being poisoned by her ivies, they were repeatedly pierced by her seven swords in a deadly cycle as a punishment for not completing her mission.

  Go… Leave and forget about me… The flashes abruptly disappeared leaving Ivy furious as she roughly wiped away her tears and shuddered. She knew it was Avinha urging her to leave the tower which was just behind her. She forced herself to turn around to take a good look at him. She knew she was asking for trouble but it was better than not getting any responses from Jeremy.

  The moment she saw the sight of a weakened almighty demon now dying in her hands in the tower, she slowly made her way to him as he smiled gently at her. She reached out to his cheeks wanting to savor the moment as though it was with Jeremy only to be dragged out of the tower as she shielded her eyes from the blinding lights and found herself back in bed.

  It took her a while to realise she was in Jeremy’s room while Jonathan was gripping tightly to her shirt, asleep. His looks made her miss Jeremy even more that early morning as she wept quietly by his side. As she muffled her sobs into her knees, Jonathan stirred awake knowing she probably was awakened from a nightmare as he hugged her like she always did for him. He was a fast learner as he hid her in the blanket with her and hugged her. She sobbed even more holding onto him while he gently patted her head and waited till she was done crying.

  It had become accustomed for them both to seek refuge from each other that way on most nights as they learned to open up to each other as well. As Ivy coaxed him back to sleep, she knew she could not as usual and she knew she was losing the security Jeremy used to give her based on her dream. Hence, she decided to write another letter.

  22 days later

  You don’t even want to reply to my letter? I don’t know if you have them or read them. Probably every night or morning you would remind yourself of me but yet you’re the same; not replying to me but pushing me away.

  You seriously have no conscience at all for me, don’t you?

  What games are you playing at? Just because I have been busy, doesn’t mean I will miss the chance to write you a letter.

  I finally brought myself into the orphanage home cause I had to help out with the employees to carry some donated items. I realise I felt less guilty when I was bearing gifts for the children. They smiled the most genuine smile I had ever seen, Jere. It was as though I had healed their broken souls a little but deep down I couldn’t help but still feel bad.

  Let me tell you now, I have been making good use of that money to help out all the previous members and their family members of the gang. We tried our very best with a newly established welfare center which works alongside the orphanage home to reach out to each one of them even those who had passed on.

  Dad didn’t agree to this but who cares? My money I decide and aren’t you afraid I splurge everything that when you’re out, there’s nothing left?

  So, hurry now! Accept my lawyer’s parole!

  The letters Ivy sent remained without a word of reply. Ivy thought she would face all the good things from then on but only then did she learn that life had never been a bed of roses. She learned that if she did not find the problems, problems were coming to find her eventually.

  Ivy was overwhelmed by not just her studies but also her efforts in trying to get the orphanage home improved and reaching out if possible to all of the past victims of the gang. She began not to have much time to accompany Jonathan and Joseph eventually. However, whenever she had time she would still let both boys sleep with her especially Joseph who was beginning to learn to crawl and had grown accustomed to her.

  Despite her efforts in trying to balance her lifestyle, lately, she found herself a little lost, isolating herself back to solidarity and the abyss of her nightmares. She sat in the basement of the Rahi’s residence and stared out at the starry sky as she penned down another letter to Jeremy.

  34 weeks later

  Still, I don’t hear from you. I would stop pestering you to see me. I would stop asking if you care or want to be bail cause I know when you want to, you know your way. I would still write to you when I can but things have been busy. Very busy.

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  How time flies if you count by months. It’s been half a year Jere. Don’t you miss any of us? Have you been well? Is it tough in there? Me?

  Sigh, I have seen so many of the people you worked with previously whether alive or dead, and their family members. Dad had been on rebelling terms with me ever since I started this effort.

  However, I promised him before to not neglect my studies or else all these efforts would have to be paused. So, I gave my best in my studies but at times I find myself struggling alone trying to give the victims or their family members peace of mind.

  It was different from the time I had helped with the business back then. Business had strengthened and with Rahi’s backup, it was stronger than ever. I could understand they didn’t need any of us kids now considering how well Marcel could lead everything alongside Real and Nick. Even Chiang is doing great with Ray leading the security team. So who needs Ivy right?

  Studies were dreadful and dry but I knew I had to keep it up no matter what. Hence, my thrill self had sought challenges in charity work.

  I did expect the worst for doing this welfare work. You name it…

  Splashed by dirt water over and over.

  Getting scolded for things I had not done.

  Feeling obliged and guilty for things I had not done.

  Trying to help with money was the only way I could think of but I guess I forgot about what I should do with humanity.

  About easing them emotionally.

  Some instead of easing, I think my existence and help were worsening for them.

  But hey, no one said it was easy. I’m still going to persevere.

  Just how many have I had this week one from an old granny and another from a father whose sons died while working for Charles?

  This was not the worst.

  I could tolerate what the adults want to do to me but not those lovely innocent orphans.

  They did nothing wrong but why would they be fated to not live a happy long life I am granting them?

  Why is it so unfair that I had to be sitting through the preparation of a funeral for a heart in a hole four years old despite all my efforts in trying to keep him alive?

  Today, I think I learned what it felt to be a mother to send off Zachary who was just four and was the son of another couple who once served the gang before this.

  Jere, I tried my best… all my best. I really did… I just needed that small miracle for this boy.

  I had never felt so defeated when I was forced to identify his body. I cried all the tears I needed and wanted but nothing could ease this pain. I held his hand throughout his last breath and never wanted to let go at all… I pleaded with my whole heart for a miracle but nothing… Just nothing came returning to me.

  The smell of the burning candle lighted during his Virgil coupled with the fragrance of the flowers from the wreaths was a reminder of how sorrowful funerals were back then for me. It was so choking that I nearly gave up halfway through the wake but I forced myself to stay on.

  I really wanted to give him all the best things in the world in repentance for the sins we adults had made but he still left me…

  I pushed that button to cremate him cause I promised him I would always be a few steps behind him while sending him off. I… I stayed by his little columbarium till Ray had to carry me home cause he knew I was going to lose myself in this pool of guilt.

  I could not bring myself to see your sons or step back into the orphanage home just yet cause each time I do, I let this guilt drown me again…

  I know this would not be the last I had to send off. I know it’s fated and out of my control. I know very well I needed time to pull through this…

  I need you, Jere…

  So, you… still, refuse to see me even when I’m down with a fever?

  Ivy coughed a little as she blew her nose into a tissue and heard footsteps from behind her. She did not want to worry Daisy whom she thought was coming to her but it was Ray carrying Jonathan who was sobbing for her.

  “There, there see… Auntie is here… Go… Go hug her…” Ray urged Jonathan who was half running towards Ivy who was forcing herself to not sob.

  “Auntiee…” Jonathan called out desperately as he hugged her from behind. She knew Ray was forcing her to push her boundaries as she quickly slipped the folded letter into an envelope that Ray had taken from her.

  “Don’t worry bout this. I will ensure he receives this. Now, this little one has missed you a lot. I had no choice but to bring him here all the way from Landsfield with Dad’s permission…” Ray gently informed her as she pulled Jonathan into her arms for a tight hug and sobbed with him.

  “I’m sorry…” She continuously apologised as Ray gently patted her head. “It’s fine. It’s not your fault… You did well.” Ray tried comforting her before covering her with a jacket.

  “How could you not take good care of yourself before you can take care of others? Just look at you with a fever now. If Dad sees this, you’re so going to be house arrested again.” Ray nagged her on purpose as she scoffed at him.

  “Don’t tell him!” She pouted as she hit him gently.

  “Then, accompany my son every night, please… He has been crying for you… There’s another little boy at home wanting you to accompany him too… How is it that you’re so popular than their stepfather hmm?” Ray teased as she kissed Jonathan’s forehead.

  “Vivi Yiyi, the friends in the home also miss you…” Jonathan told her as she was a little surprised and touched.

  “Alright… Let’s go visit them tomorrow?” She finally suggested as Jonathan smiled while they both hugged each other.

  “Now you should both go to bed first…” Ray suggested, feeling a little annoyed. “You too… Come let me show you my room!” She quickly shut the half-opened basement door before leading them to the second floor quietly, knowing Daisy was resting with John in her room.

  “Tonight, you can sleep here in my room… We all will…” She suggested as they climbed onto her bed.

  “The bed sheet seems very new. You often sleep in his room?” Ray asked absentmindedly while tucking Jonathan into the blanket.

  “Hmm…” She hummed in acknowledgement watching him as he tucked her next.

  “Have you taken your medicine?” He asked as she nodded.

  Ray lay down on his back as he watched them both fall asleep but caught his sister pretending to fall asleep while peeking at him. He knew she was probably expecting some news from him on Jeremy.

  “He is doing fine. He has his plans.” She opened her eyes and met with his gaze.

  “Just continue writing to him…” He said before laying back down and closing his eyes.

  She smiled, finally giving in to her fatigue. Ray peeped at her smile and knew he was right as he too finally got to rest properly with his step-son sleeping so soundly in the middle of them.