Earl figured he would drive to Clement’s house to take him all of the moonshine, except for the 3 jars fur his wife and the ones he wanted to give to Petey. “I apologize fur my bad attitude. Now, if you will come over to the car,, I want to offer you an apology gift,” Earl said to Petey.

  Petey, lookin wide-eyed with surprise, followed Earl.

  Earl took out the two mason jars that he had set aside fur himself and openin one, took a big swig and passed it on to Petey. Petey took a big ol swig, wiped his mouth and Earl could’ve sworn he saw smoke comin out both of Petey’s ears and a big old grin just jumped right on Petey’s face!

  Earl closed up the jar and handed it and the other one to Pete. “Am I forgiven?” He asked Petey.

  “Why sure nuf Earl. I forgive you. Any time you need some forgiveness, just come right over. Twouldn’t hurt a bit to bring some of this fine forgiveness juice with you, neither!” Petey said. Earl left fur home again with a clear conscience and whistled as he drove home in the dark! So, he drove slowly, since it was dark and he had plenty of time to think. Who would’ve thought God would require him to drive back and apologize to Petey? All of a sudden a verse got recalled to his memory. How did that go? “God’s ways are not our ways and our ways are not God’s ways. For as the Heavens are high above the earth, so are God’s ways above our ways.” Earl meditated on these words fur a few minutes.

  When Earl had something goin on and needed to know what to do, he liked to think back to examples in the Bible and compare them to his life and situation. The Reverend said the Bible is the standard that we measure everything by. Earl thought about the story of Gideon. He was a simple farmer and God told him to go lead an army against the enemy. Gideon objected and said he wasn’t trained fur that. Well, God eventually had his way and Gideon went and raised up his army of 30,000 and went to fight the enemy. That wasn’t all. God told him he had too many men even though he had way fewer than the enemy. God had him eliminate all but 300! And then He had Gideon send his men out in the middle of the night to fight without weapons! All they each had was a torch with a pottery jar over the top of it and a trumpet. They got in the middle of the Mideonites camp, blew the trumpets and smashed the pottery so their torches shone bright, wakin up the Mideonites and they were so confused that they ran away, lettin Gideon’s men win the battle. Earl thought that there had probably never been a man on earth who would have planned that!!

  Earl had driven the car slowly all night so he didn’t hit any ruts in the road and break his jars and also so that he would arrive at Clement’s house along about dawn, when Clement would be gettin up fur the day. Clement was rite glad to see him and paid him up front fur the mason jars of white lightnin. Earl had a cup of coffee with him, as they caught up on the local happenings. “Did you hear what happened last night over at ol man Moseby’s place?” Clement asked.

  “No, I don’t reckon I did,” Earl responded. “Pray tell what happened.”

  “The revenooers got wind that ol man Moseby was goin to run some likker up by his house with the warm weather we got, so they surrounded his place with a dozen men, just waitin fur their opportunity. Steve had come back from his huntin trip just in time to join the revenooer party. The mash was already started and they were just waitin fur ol man Moseby to fire up the still. So they waited all night and along about 4 in the mornin, they saw his kerosene lantern shinin through the trees. They knew it wouldn’t be long till he came out to the still. And they were right, except he went over to a little mound of dirt outside the barn. One of the officers was close enough to hear what ol man Moseby was sayin.”

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  He knelt down by that mound of dirt and started talkin softly, “Brenda Sue, I need you to make this the best run of likker I ever did make. You owe it to me honey. You sure could be contrary. I liked that chicken potpie you made me but you always burnt my meat. I just couldn’t stand it that last time. I done warned you lots of times not to burn the meat, but you did it again and I just had to clobber you over the head so you didn’t do it no more. I miss you honey but you just rest and think over what I said. Now Brenda Sue, I reckon I could forgive you if you make this run of likker real special like. Good bye till later.” Ol man Moseby got up off of the ground, picked up his kerosene lantern and headed over to his still. He got all set up and lit the still. He found a leaker so he grabbed his oatmeal mixture that he always kept by the ready and patched it up. He examined it keerfull like, and satisfied it was not goin to leak agin, walked over to the pipe and stuck a coon’s pecker in it and started gittin his bottles ready. The first bottle filled with the head and he poured it off in the bushes and replaced the jar.

  Bert gave the signal and all of the officers descended on ol man Moseby. Ol man Moseby grabbed his shotgun and shot three officers just like that (he snapped his fingers) before Bert grabbed him from behind. Bert wrestled him to the ground and Steve grabbed the shotgun. Bert had him handcuffed before you could say, ‘The Red Baron Flies Agin!” He was put in the back of the police car and the officers who were shot were driven off to town by another officer.

  Steve said, “Here comes the fun part!” as the officers still on site grabbed axes and what not and started whalin on that still, of course after a ton of water had been thrown on the fire to stop the cookin! While they were choppin up that still, an officer by the name of Bob Jefferson mentioned to Steve that ol man Moseby had been sayin some peculiar things kneelin by the mound of dirt by the barn. Steve said, “Aw everybody knows he’s not right in the haid.”

  Bob Jefferson asked Steve, “Do you know what his wife’s name is?

  Steve said, “Yeah, Brenda Sue. She is a cousin of mine and the prettiest thing you ever did see. Big ol lovely eyes and so kind. She is always helpin everybody. She is my cousin or else I would have proposed to her years ago. By the way, where is she? I’ll go up to the house after we finish here and say howdy. I never figured why such a pretty sweet thing would marry ol man Moseby.”

  Bob said, “Steve, ol man Moseby was talkin to that mound of dirt as if it was his wife, even callin it Brenda Sue. He asked her to make this run of likker good and complained about her cookin. He even justified clobberin her over the haid!”

  Steve started gettin cold chills down his back. He said, “Can you finish up here?”

  Bob Jefferson said, “Be pleased to!”

  Steve went over and interrupted Bert’s fillin out the paperwork. “Bert, we may have a crime scene here. I haven’t seen ol man Moseby’s wife. She’s a cousin of mine. Will you come over to the house with me?” While they walked, Steve explained to Bert what Bob had just told him.

  Bert groaned. “The handwritin’s on the wall, Steve. I don’t think we are goin to find yore cousin in the house.”