Joe took a few steps back as Evel Kill Weevil struck a pose.

  Rose slapped a hand to her forehead. “You’ve gotta be kidding me with this circus act.”

  The Drama Queens had caught sight of Evel’s grand entrance too. At least two of them stood with hands firmly on hips, their voices loud enough to echo through the chamber.

  “The Lich is openly mocking us now. This is a disgrace,” one of them declared, her aura practically buzzing with indignation.

  Her companion, a kobold with neon-yellow spikes and an unmistakable Karen aesthetic, jabbed a clawed finger toward Evel. “Look at that sideshow freak. How are we supposed to take any of this seriously? I feel like I’m on Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, except that idiot Prattle went and got himself eaten by a disgusting worm.”

  “It’s a larvae,” the first one corrected with a huff, “but when he respawns, he can’t say we didn’t warn him.”

  “Do you lot ever shut up bitchin’ and complaining?” snapped a burly faction member nearby, his face twisted in frustration. “Remember why we’re here!”

  The kobold sneered, tilting her chin in defiance. “Do you see this nicely refined and tasteful aura around me, Blartle? It’s a repulsion barrier. It only works when I’m complaining. So stop focusing on me and—”

  Her words cut off as the ground opened beneath them. Dirt exploded in every direction as a rampaging larvae burst through, its maw gaping wide. With one swift motion, it swallowed Blartle whole.

  The kobold didn’t so much as flinch, instead crossing her arms as if she were waiting to see a manager. “Men and their penis envy!” She glared at the writhing creature. “First, the Lich erects a living tower—because, obviously, we needed a giant dick monument—and now, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but these larvae look like prancing pen—”

  The larvae lunged, cutting her off mid-rant. Its jaws clamped down, but her glowing aura flared to life, bouncing the creature back like it was a springy, oversized rubber toy.

  The kobold smirked, clearly pleased with herself. But the larvae recovered quicker than she expected, whipping around to swallow one of her human faction members whole. The kobold let out an indignant gasp, her hands flying to her hips. “Typical of Chartla not paying attention!”

  During that commotion, Joe had activated Shadow Step, slipping into the background like he wasn’t even there. As long as he didn’t engage, the larvae seemed content to ignore him.

  Robyn’s eyes darted at the chaos, his whole body coiled like a spring ready to snap. He tipped his mushroom hat, the oversized thing wobbling. “Stick close. I’m not sure how long I can keep it up, but this hat enhances my Beast Tamer skill. It’s releasing spores that calm nearby creatures.”

  Robyn stopped shaking and linked arms with Lucky like he was his big brother. Seeing this, Brian rummaged in his inventory and handed Lucky a tin of mana pellets. Lucky took one and started gnawing on it with loud, deliberate crunches.

  Joe leaned into the group. “Alright, here’s the plan: we don’t poke the bear—or, in this case, the larvae—until we figure out what Evel’s doing.”

  TJ adjusted his grip on his machete but kept it low. “Solid. I also want to know what the Drama Queens are up to.”

  “Me too.” Dawn glanced at the other group standing around. “And who the hell are those red-painted jokers in cahoots with the drama queens.”

  Brian tapped his temple, scanning his interface. “Filtering out non-friendly factions... Bad news? That list is depressingly short. Good news? Shouldn’t take long to figure out who they are.”

  “Do it fast.” Dawn gestured toward the ant. “Because Evel’s...uh...doing something.”

  Evel Kill Weevil stood in front of the Queen, antennae flailing wildly as he waved his arms like a conductor on speed.

  Joe couldn’t look away. “Is he...dancing?”

  “Hypnotizing.” Brian’s mouth hung open.

  “Attention-seeking.” TJ groaned.

  A squelch interrupted the moment as a black goo-covered ascender slid out of a larvae’s gaping mouth and hit the ground with a wet thud.

  “At least they’re not eating anyone else—for now.” Lucky popped another mana pellet into his mouth.

  Joe blinked. As ridiculous as Evel’s performance was, it was effective. His wings flared out dramatically, dripping gold along the edges like the velvet-trimmed curtains of a bad community theater. With an exaggerated flourish, he straightened and threw his arms wider.

  TJ winced. “I wish he’d stop doing that. His underwear is showing.”

  “Ugh, you’re right it looks like a thong.” Rose raised her staff.

  The larvae froze.

  One by one, they turned toward Evel and began swaying in time like slimy metronomes.

  “Grublings, lend me your primitive ossicles, so I may inspire you on behalf of our radiant Queen!” Evel’s eyes glittered. “Who am I, you ask? While you’ve been growing fat beneath our Queen’s sacred soil, enriched by the larval veins that sustain this great colony, I have been tirelessly defending it from the dread weevil swarms!” He puffed up his fluffy chest, striking a pose that screamed look at me. “As I speak, those pitiful creatures are reduced to nibbling on foolish ascenders above ground, so terrified are they of me—Evel Kill Weevil!”

  He punctuated his words by gyrating his abdomen, a grotesque motion accompanied by a wet, squelching sound that turned Joe’s stomach.

  “You, my dear grublings, are but a few days old, yet it is clear you are ready to serve! Perhaps one day, you too shall ascend the ranks, be blessed with the gift of flight, unparalleled invulnerability, and, dare I say, immaculate hair!” He ran a claw through his velvety fur, striking a smug profile.

  Evel turned his attention to the scattered ascenders. His gaze swept across the chamber like a hawk sizing up its next meal, and then he unleashed a booming villain laugh so theatrical it could’ve been practiced in front of a mirror.

  “Ascenders! Before you die, I’d like to thank you for being so thoughtful.” Evel’s grin widened enough to make his mandibles twitch. “Offering yourselves up as food for the humble servants of our great Queen? Truly, a selfless act. May your deaths be swift and painless!” He gave a deep, exaggerated bow, antennae dipping low like he was performing in some twisted opera.

  The larvae, which had been swaying like hypnotized toddlers, snapped to attention. With a collective chitter, they turned on the nearest ascenders. This time, there was no chaos. Evel’s antennae flicked like a conductor’s baton, directing their every move. The room erupted into coordinated carnage.

  “Defensive shields activated.” Dawn pointed to a shimmering barrier surrounding a nearby faction.

  Brian didn’t look up from his crossbow, his finger hovering over the trigger. “They’re called the Armchair Anarchists. Probably a mash-up of leftovers from the last floor. You can tell by their tags—they used to belong to other factions, likely the last survivors, like Merv.”

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  Joe’s stomach twisted as Evel broke into what could only be described as a deranged rendition of Night Fever. His antennae jabbed, his legs scuttled, and his movements sent a hundred larvae charging like heat-seeking missiles.

  Each grub locked onto a target, teeth snapping and bodies jiggling as they surged forward. The tunnels leading out of the chamber weren’t any safer; warrior velvet ants had those locked down, swarming anyone who dared flee.

  Dawn glanced at her map, her brow furrowed. “Only way out is to kill him and the Queen.”

  “What’s with all the dancing?” TJ growled, machete ready.

  Brian nodded toward Evel. “It’s not simply for show. He’s using his antennae and movements to communicate with the larvae, like bees do when they find flowers. The evil monologue? That was for us—to rattle our nerves.”

  “Probably orchestrated by the Lich’s amusement.” Joe followed Brian’s gaze to one of the Armchair Anarchists. The guy had his hands jammed in his pockets, sidestepping a larva as if he were avoiding a puddle.

  Meanwhile, a member of the Drama Queens faction barely dodged another grub barreling past her. She stood, brushing dirt off her clothes, and sniffed the air. “Well, that’s going to leave a stain. Even if I die and respawn, I’m billing someone for dry cleaning.”

  The Anarchist smirked. “Why don’t you file a complaint with Poppy? Maybe she’ll listen to you whining about how the system’s rigged while the Titan Slayers hog all the glory.”

  “As much as I hate everything about you, you’re right.” She groaned, arms crossed as she scanned the chamber. “And if we’re going down, we’re taking everyone with us…as soon as I can figure out where they are in this mess.”

  “I don’t see their leader, but he’s using stealth to hide behind the big guy with the goatee!” The Armchair Anarchist with the eternity stick pointed straight at Brian. “Go get them before they can lock the titan in battle.”

  Joe frowned. Why the hell would they want to stop the fight? If no one defeated the Queen, the next floor wouldn’t unlock. The rising mana levels would poison them all, no matter which faction they belonged to. It was like arguing over who got to rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic.

  Before she could retort, a mound erupted, and a larvae lunged at the Drama Queen. She shrieked and bolted straight for Brian, dragging a dozen larvae in her wake.

  “Do something, you waste of space, or I’ll die before I reach him!” She screeched at the eternity-stick smoker, who looked like he was debating whether this was worth putting down his vape.

  The larvae bounced off her flickering repulse barrier, but it was clear she was running out of steam.

  “Let’s move before she brings them right to us.” Joe scanned for a path to the Queen, but every route was a death trap of untouched mounds waiting to pop open. Triggering those would be like setting off an insect avalanche.

  Things took a turn for the worse. Evel locked eyes with Joe.

  Uh-oh. Stealth isn’t working on him like it did with the grubs.

  A dozen larvae peeled off from the group chasing the Drama Queen, their beady black eyes glinting like marbles of pure hunger. Their jaws snapped as they charged.

  “Looks like Evel can see through your stealth.” Brian tapped a finger on his crossbow, before a bolt flew and pinged off the guard’s fur. “How about we distract him with ranged attacks?”

  “Wait until his wings are raised.” Dawn’s hands flared red. “He has to have a more vulnerable spot.”

  “And a tandem attack with our faction boon should do extra damage.” Rose spun her staff.

  “Hit him where it hurts.” Joe tapped Lucky and Robyn to grab their attention. “With me. Let’s circle wide and keep as much real estate as possible between us and the digestive tract express.”

  “Good idea.” Lucky darted away, Robyn clutching his arm like a lifeline. “Andras asked for an update. He’ll be here any minute.”

  Joe groaned.

  Meanwhile, the Drama Queen’s barrier faded as the larvae pummeled her. Her lips thinned, and her nostrils flared as she pushed toward Brian, Rose, and Dawn, who had formed a ranged assault triangle aimed at Evel.

  Dawn’s hands glowed as Brian loosed an alchemical bolt. The projectile flew true, and before it landed, Rose cracked her staff, unleashing a water whip that lashed out. A fireball from Dawn followed suit, the combined force slamming into Evel’s edible undies. A Dual Strike notification confirmed the twenty percent damage boon was activated.

  Evel coiled his wings around himself like a cocoon, his health bar flickering into view.

  [No Damage]

  [Evel Kill Weevil - Health 100/100]

  Joe exhaled. “It’s like a chastity belt.”

  Brian tilted his crossbow to the side. “Those edible undies are exactly that. Says they’re an appetite for anti-destruction.”

  Joe couldn’t believe what he was about to say next.

  “Then, we need to get them off.” Joe moved quickly with Lucky and Robyn, pointing to the still-unearthed mounds ahead. “We need to take out Evel and gain control of the larvae. If we don’t, they’ll swarm us—and their siblings will join the fun.”

  Lucky yipped excitedly. “Andras can help!” He pointed toward the far side of the chamber, waving his faction leader over like he was flagging down a taxi. Somehow, the Teflon bard had made it through the chaos alive and suspiciously unscathed. Andras, with Otto at his side, moved through the chamber with infuriating ease, avoiding the rampaging larvae like water flowing around boulders.

  Lucky’s ears perked up expectantly. “Where’s the rest of the faction?”

  Andras pouted as if the question had deeply wounded his soul. “That was... costly,” he said, brushing an invisible speck from his tunic. “But my loyal faction knows they’ll be rewarded when we reach the top.”

  Joe caught the subtext loud and clear—“loyal faction” was Andras-speak for cannon fodder. The rest of the alliance had been chewed up to clear a path for him and Otto. Typical.

  “Perfect timing,” Lucky said, entirely unbothered. He jabbed a finger in Eval’s direction, where the velvet-winged ant was still grandstanding like he was about to pull off a motorcycle jump over twenty buses. “We need you to have a dance-off with him so you can gain control of the larvae. Get them to stop treating ascenders like lunch so we can reach the Titan Queen.”

  Andras arched a brow, his lips curling into a disdainful smirk. “I don’t dance, Lucky, but I play a mean tune.” He whipped out his panpipes, fingers poised dramatically—and then frowned when not a single note charmed Evel.

  Lucky clapped his paws to his face. “They communicate through pheromones and dance. Music won’t work! You’re a bard; it should come as naturally to you as a duck to water!”

  Andras sighed as though the burden of competence was far too heavy to bear. “If you say so, Lucky.”

  Joe didn’t miss the calculating look flickering across his face—like he was already scheming his next move. Sure enough, Andras turned toward Joe, his smirk sharpening. “Let’s make a deal. I’ll get these larvae off all our backs, giving both our factions a fair shot at the Titan Queen. If, and only if, you convince Ryan to use his newfound sway with the tower guardians... for my benefit, when I need a favor.”

  Joe’s jaw tightened. “Ryan’s not here. I’m not making a deal for him. If you want a favor from Ryan, you can ask him yourself.”

  Andras let out a melodramatic sigh, leaning in so close Joe could smell the self-satisfaction wafting off him like cheap cologne. “Such a pity. You see, when I gain control of these lovely larvae, they might accidentally find you and yours just as delicious as before. Have fun with that.”

  Before Joe could retort, Andras grabbed Lucky by the arm and dragged him off. Lucky stumbled, squeaking in protest, his paws skidding on the gritty floor. Robyn let go of Lucky’s other arm to stop himself from being yanked along, but the torn look on his face said it all—loyalty pulling him in two directions like a rope in a tug-of-war.

  Joe turned back toward Eval, whose antennae were twitching like a pair of overzealous conductors orchestrating everyone’s doom. He tilted his head and glanced at Robyn.

  “How do you feel about eating insects?” Joe asked.

  Robyn blinked at him, eyes wide. “I... uh... what?”

  Joe’s stomach twisted as a message from the Blanche Brigade popped up in his vision.

  Ryan: We can't get past the swarms in the tunnel. Gonna be delayed.

  Joe: Better off staying topside. It's murder down here.

  With a sharp inhale, Joe sent another message to the alliance chat.

  Joe: Dawn, Rose, and Brian—aim for the antenna. I need it intact.

  TJ: Their ranged attacks will destroy it. Leave it to me. Oh, and cover me.

  TJ didn’t wait for further discussion. He charged, machete in hand, weaving through the chaos as Dawn, Rose, and Brian lit up the larvae in his path with well-placed ranged attacks. Fireballs and water whips lashed out, clearing a path for TJ as he leapt over snapping jaws and lunging grubs like some kind of mad acrobat.

  Joe’s Quick Wit buzzed, but his eyes stayed locked on TJ. His opening came when Evel got a little too into his ridiculous dance moves, turning his back on the wrong side of the chamber.

  TJ didn’t hesitate. He powered into a high leap, his machete gleaming as he brought it down in a deadly arc.

  Schwick! One of Evel’s antennae hit the ground with a clean slice, twitching and crackling like a downed wire. Robyn was already in motion, a ratfolk blur, snatching it out of midair before it could even hit the dirt.

  The two sprinted back toward the group, covered by another volley of ranged attacks that had Evel spinning in confusion. By the time the oversized velvet ant realized what had happened, it was too late.

  Evel staggered, his remaining antenna jerking as he tried to keep his groove going.

  Coming from the side entrance, Andras seized the moment and blew an exaggerated kiss toward Evel as the emo elf kicked off his dance moves.