A/N: Alright, Lore first. (+1 Pride, Pride Level Up. Upgrade Pending.)

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  Unidentified Sins (I): Beez’el’s Infernal Tour Guides

  --- Booker H. Freeman ---

  “Okay, okay.” The little red man gave them both a once over. “If you want something interesting then I think I’ve got something you might like! Come on!”

  Without another word the imp leapt for an open window on the bus before crawling inside, leaving both Booker and his companion to look on.

  “Shall we walk around?” He suggested, already moving.

  “Uh, yeah…” Lydia slowly nodded, before shaking her head and following after. “Uh, are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “No telling!” He admitted with a delighted grin. “That said, it’s not as if he’s an actual threat. At worst this is as you said a scam, and if not then perhaps this will lead to that unique stage I’m looking for?”

  “Right…” The teenager drawled, clearly unconvinced.

  Once they reached the actual door to the bus, they watched through it as the imp pulled a lever while seated in the driver's seat, shuttering the doors open.

  “Welcome to Infernal Guides, where you will be introduced to the hottest spots in all of Infernus!” The imp told them with a delighted flourish. “Watch your steps and let’s get this shit show on the road!”

  Stepping onto the bus he found trash all over as well as what looked to be a bundle of dirty laundry piled in the back.

  (Pride: Does… does he live in this bus?)

  (Envy: Some people do what they have to.)

  (Sloth: Or that’s just what they tell themselves…)

  He shook his head, before being caught off guard as the bus began to move.

  “Alright, so the place I’ve got in mind is a bit away even by bus, but trust me it will absolutely be worth it or my name isn’t Beez’el Baz’el!” Their guide assured them with a confident grin that he couldn’t help but believe.

  “Well that’s… a name…” Lydia wryly grinned.

  “That it is!” Beez’el laughed.

  (Greed: And this is clearly going to be a waste of money.)

  (Pride: Oh, where’s your sense of adventure!)

  (Greed: Back home with my wallet.)

  (Lust: I vote for adventure!)

  (Sloth: As long as it means we aren’t walking I don’t care if it’s a scam or not.)

  (Gluttony: If it is, we can just eat him.)

  (Envy: He hasn’t even asked us for money yet…)

  (Greed: If he does, we're making the kid pay for dragging us into this…)

  Thinking of her, Booker noticed his young companion shifting in her seat as she stared at their guide.

  Something Beez’el seemed to notice too, as he took his eyes off the road to turn to his passenger and leaned one arm over his seat. “If you need me to pull over for a bathroom break it’s going to be a minute.”

  “Uh, eyes on the road?” Lydia said with just a touch of panic.

  “I”m not going to hit anything-” The entire bus shook as their was a faint screeching. “-else. I’m not going to hit anything else.” Beez’el chuckled nervously, eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel. “Still if you weren’t a kid I might be offended by the way you’re looking at me.”

  “Oh, sorry… It’s just… You know, I’m still not used to seeing people who look like…” Lydia made a gesture towards their guide.

  Beez’el’s eyes narrowed, hands tensing on the wheel. “Who look like what?”

  “Sorry.” Lydia winced, clearly realizing her social faux pas. “It’s just you look like a devil you know? I mean, I’ve seen a few people who look like that since… meeting Booker but they never really stuck around and now… I’m wondering if that’s how I’m going to start looking if I spend enough time down here…”

  Their guide’s face twisted in confusion before Beez’el suddenly broke out in a laugh. “Oh shit! You are fresh meat!”

  “W-what?” Lydia blinked, taken aback.

  (Pride: Ah, I see the problem.)

  (What problem?) Booker wondered, a touch confused himself.

  (Gluttony: She thinks he’s like us, but he’s a different beast altogether.)

  “Okay, okay. I know you Hume have got that weird shape shifting shit going on, but you can’t turn into an Inferni no matter how hard you try.” Beez’el explained, looking far less tense. “Same for Avaricians, and whatever the fuck the Morningstar is.”

  “You’re… an Inferni?” Lydia checked, eyes darting his way.

  Unfortunately, as far as his actual memories went…

  (Pride: I… am aware that the Inferni aren’t human, and have several sub-classifications but beyond that…)

  (Greed: I’ve got nothing.)

  (Lust: They seem fun.)

  You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

  (Envy: They’re related to magic somehow… can’t remember the how though.)

  (Gluttony: Unlike humans they don’t hide behind a mask of civility.)

  (Wrath: An honorable sort, but one unafraid of violence as a tool.)

  (Sloth: Common minions for everyone.)

  Well, he wouldn’t be relying on his memory. (In fact.) “I feel like it’s better to get that answer from a member of their race rather than an outsider. If you don’t mind Mr. Baz’el?”

  “Oh, please call me Beez!” Said Inferni preened. “But yeah, if you’re going to find out about Inferni you should hear it from one of us. Alright, where to start…”

  “The beginning is always a good place.” He suggested. “Historically speaking I mean.”

  (Pride: We can figure out the biological differences ourselves.)

  (Gluttony: Wonder if they taste like human?)

  “Eh, history ain’t really my thing but…” Beez’el shrugged, a grin showing he was just glad to be telling the tale. “So, a long fucking time ago Inferni were part of a great society legends greater than you’ll hear anywhere those pompous asshole Avaricians are in charge of, and it was fucking awesome. Then shit got fucked.”

  “Um, pardon?” He blinked, not quite having expected such crass language.

  “You haven’t done shit yet.” Beez’el waved him off clearly misunderstanding. “So anyway, something happened with our home world -no fucking clue what- but it left a ton of us stranded in this hell hole. Or a bunch of hell holes if rumors are true. It was a kick in the teeth yeah, but we Inferni are kick ass enough that we decided we’d just build our kick ass civilization again. And we were on our way to a few villages here and there when the Morningstar fell.”

  “The Morningstar?” Lydia (hideously) frowned, before her eyes went wide. “Wait, like the devil?!”

  “Yeah, ol’ Lucious. Great guy.” Beez’el nodded. “Guy got stranded here, confused and out of it after some shit with his asshole family, but he decided to help us out. Really start building somethin’ ya know. And it was slow going but things were going great until uh…” The Inferni glanced their way. “You guys showed up.”

  “Humans are a terrible sort.” He nodded in understanding, after all… (Envy: We’re living proof of that…)

  “Hey, you’re not responsible for the assholes you’re related to. And there are plenty of great humans out there.” Beez’el assured him, before mumbling, “Even if you’re all weirdly stiff in the sack.”

  “What did humans do?” Lydia asked.

  “Hmm, oh, uh… Well, you humans are a little more… magical than us Inferni. I mean we’ve got some, but you guys are like made of the shit.” Beez’el answered. “Lucious tried to protect us, but when more and more of you started showing up he couldn’t do it by himself. Got distracted, focused on you guys and ignored the Avaricians when they started popping up. After all, what’s a few dozen birds to a few million Hume?”

  The Inferni let out a scoff, his tone gaining more frustration. “By the time he got shit under control those feathered fucks had already tricked us into putting them in charge, because they said they’d protect us like him. Fucked us over bad enough that even when Lucious and the Sins came back, that even with them in charge again things were still shit for the Inferni. Everyone’s boots on our necks.”

  (Pride: I get the distinct feeling we’re hearing only one side of this story.)

  (Wrath: We asked him the tale of his people, and from his perspective his people were wronged repeatedly. He’s a right to be angry about that.)

  (Still…) “No one should live with a boot on their neck.” He told Beez’el, the feeling of phantom chains pulling on him, reminding of… (What?)

  “Yeah.” The inferni nodded in agreement, an appreciative glance at Booker’s reflection. “Anyway, moving past all of the heavy shit, we Inferni and some of you Hume eventually reached an understanding. And between your power and the sheer fucking refusal of Inferni to stay down when we get kicked down, we all built this great city together. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still fuckers that try and ruin it for everyone but if we’re honest we’re all assholes deep down inside.”

  “A bit crass, but I can’t quite disagree.” He admitted.

  “See you get it.” Beez’el nodded, with a grin. “Luckily enough though, aside from those Elysian fuckers anyone that tries to fuck around always finds out when the Kings find out. And while it’s rarer whenever the Morningstar comes out of his castle to smack a bitch it is a fucking show.”

  “I’m sure.” He grinned, knowing full well that sometimes…

  (Sloth: You’ve got to put on a proper demonstration.)

  (Wrath: When the innocent are harmed.)

  (Gluttony: When beasts run rampant.)

  (Envy: When the suffering must stop.)

  Off to his side he noticed Lydia was staring off into space with a scrunched up brow, the girl clearly lost in thought about something.

  (Pride: Leave her be. Sometimes you need to process new information. Especially when it requires realigning everything else you know.)

  “Alright, looks like we’re nearly there.” Beez’el commented after a few moments of silence.

  “Nearly where?” He wondered, looking out the window and not recognizing anything.

  “Okay, well you’re Hume and I know how you fuckers are with magic. And while there’s magic fucking everywhere these days with all that electricity shit you guys made, you guys still love the wilder shit.” Their guide explained. “And while I could take you to any old magic place and con you out of some Sin, I saw that smile and just knew you’ve got fangs. You want the real shit you know what I mean?”

  “Possibly.” He thought, finding himself curious.

  “Right, well despite what all those tourist shops and bullshit will tell you, when it comes to magic the real shit ain’t something that can be bought in any old store or studied at any of those fancy schmancy schools.” Beez’el scoffed, before giving Booker a proper grin. “But we both know that the interesting stuff can only be found underground, don’t we? Places where the Avarician’s asshole rules aren’t followed and where those pricks wouldn’t be caught dead.”

  (Greed: He’s talking about a black market~)

  “That could prove interesting.” He agreed, before grimacing. “Though if we’re going to a black market, I doubt my funds are quite good enough to make full use of this opportunity.”

  “Wait, you’re broke?” The Inferni (horrifically) frowned, as he hit the brake, uncaring of the various horns going off around them as the bus came to a harsh stop.

  (Sloth: He thinks you’re going to stiff him.)

  “It’s not that I’m ‘broke’ as you put it. It’s simply that the Contracting Consortium has informed me that the majority of my accounts are currently frozen.” He explained, feeling offended that someone would think he’d be rude enough to short someone for their service.

  (Greed: Just because we’re greedy doesn’t mean we’re going to wreck the economy!)

  “Double wait.” Beez’el blinked, an odd look in his eyes. “You’re a Contractor!”

  (Lust: Triple wait! There’s something about his tone…)

  “Yes…” He cautiously nodded.

  “How high ranking of a Contractor?!” The Inferni blurted.

  (Lust: Oh!)

  “Uh, he was good enough that they gave him his own VIP room and ran out to get whatever he asked for?” Lydia offered in his place.

  “Ooh!” Beez’el squealed.

  (Lust: He’s a fan~)

  “This is so cool!” The Inferni cried. “I’ve got a VIP Contractor in my bus! Oh, this really is my lucky day!”

  “While I appreciate the enthusiasm, it unfortunately doesn’t change my shortness of funds, at the moment. And sadly that’s not something likely to change until I’ve worked out a few more Contracts.” He reminded the Inferni.

  Beez’el narrowed his eyes at Booker, a grin slowly growing on his face. “Well, if you really need some Sin, then I might have a couple ideas for making them fast. I can’t normally do them myself, but if I’ve got a hot shot Contractor with me… Well~” The smile on the Inferni’s face was the exact reason his species was so often mistaken as Devils.

  What is Beez’el’s idea for making money in the Magical Black Market?