When I was a kid, I was affected by sinus and had the smell, kids ran away— ran away to all directions. When I healed, they cowered and remained at their distance leaving me to run to them, trying to find them following their trail. That pattern continued for the rest up until another ran away from me. For a while when they ran, I chased, didn't think they were running and simply thought they were growing (self-improvement— they had the habit of using therapy speech, made me feel like a five year-old). There was a moment when I paused and decided to stop, till ran for a bit after that until I reviewed that moment and realized they were truly just walking away from me. That was all it was.
I never healed from knowing they ran, and for all of me, thought I could get them to run back to me if I just ran first and they would meet me in the middle. They would never run— that I know now.
They would never run back.
Pursuing 'Champions'
Pursuing and chasing
One would think you'd never pause
So they'd continue playing their games
Having you chased them down like a hunt
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'Parsing' and computing
How would you had ever known
That they love to toss you around
How willing they were to have you be the mouse
Called for never a reunion
Someone chimed in and asked
Screamed why and couldn't understand
Made me a mockery to be looked down at
I remember those days
Subtle yet real
And they wouldn't know,
Never remember, would they?
So, there was the time when I saw someone who resembled me except made in the likeness of another and ran they did. Later a year, met two who stayed for a year then was pulled out— one went out, the other went to the other class, so for that year I sought new ones. Met two, new and kind, then suddenly they had better when the new year came again; and so for the last of gr 6, I went around and about sticking to multiple ones: it seemed safer that way— who would've known they were all the same. I was the common denominator hence the problem, and so I thought. It was something about me that irked them, something that made them so sinister. Know I *knew*, then I cried.
Teased for a bit here and there and always shrugged and walked past. Head held high, shoulders shoved straight.
Bola!
I am here to grow as you recount those days. Tomorrow's a new day for me. Will you welcome my growth?
Reborn
I will soon be born out of water
No longer flesh, no more rotting
Soon I will have my name called
Born to a life destined with stars
No more rolling, no dropping
Aye ati ife, mo ti gbe wale.
Ayé ati ìf??, mo ti gbe wá ílé.
Ay? ati ìf??, mo ti gbe wá ílé.
Translation ( Yorùbá )
(Life and love, I have carried them home).
(Life and love, I have carried them home).
(Written with diacritics).
(Joy and love, I have carried them home).