There’s no doubt you’ve seen the same bit about Samurai everywhere, about how if you corner one, that's where they become the most dangerous.

  As true as that is, you also have to remember; that danger comes from the fact that they’re dumping all their points into something tailor made to the situation.

  So if you have a trump card saved in reserve that they don’t know about?

  You just might be able to outlast whatever it is they bought, and then finish the job.

  -Excerpt from Skullbone’s Guide to Killing Samurai, Recorded only a few hours before Samurai ACME dropped an anvil on his head.

  The pair of ugly fuckers above me each were covered in bone like armor with some sort of material filling in the gaps. They were both gripping the surface of the ceiling with four tree trunk sized legs. Their heads were obscured by the tentacles coming from their mouths which looked like they belonged on a lamprey. To either side of the cluster fuck of an orfice they had were two massive tusks that were damn near perfect for excavation.

  Oh right, both of them were staring down at my limp body. My immobility being the only reason they hadn’t rushed to confirm the kill.

  ‘Pyri how fucked am I?’

  Not too bad, you have over sixteen-thousand points currently, which is more than enough to buy something that can kill the Model Eighteens observing you.

  I grabbed my excitement by the metaphorical scruff and threw it back down into the depths of my brain. ‘Yeah, and where’s my gear all at?’

  You unfortunately dropped your rifle during the fall and it landed about ten feet to your right. As for everything else, it’s still attached to your generator.

  ‘Perfect,’ I grunted, ‘What about me?’

  No broken bones thanks to your quick thinking with the C-Foam, but you’ll ache for a while until you get proper healing.

  ‘So I’m perfectly healthy! Now onto killing these fucks…’ I trailed off as the pair of hulking antithesis began picking their way down the walls of the chamber they dropped me into. ‘Shit, guess I’ll figure that part out later!’

  Pushing myself up with a swallowed groan, I attempted to work my way through the C-Foam, only for the gunk to cave under any pressure I applied to it, sending me rolling over into the foam with a muffled ‘whump’. Hearing the movement from above the Eighteens began making a lot more noise as their gentle descent turned into something more like a charge with the sounds of rocks clattering down the walls and thumping into the loose soil on the floor.

  ‘Pyri can you harden patches of C-Foam so I can get free?’

  Yes.

  Reaching forward, my hand closed around a rod like structure that wasn’t there before. The sides of it were still anchored into the foam by the overall viscosity of it rising. The downside of this was the fact that I now had to crawl through it.

  ‘I need a jetpack or something after everything is said and done.’ I grumbled, ‘Never taking a fall like this again.’

  Branching into aerial operations will only increase the likelihood that you will fall ‘like this’.

  ‘Yeah well at least then I’ll have the proper equipment to cushion my falls.’ My left hand breached the surface of the foam, ‘Cause dealing with this sucks.’

  I must have looked like some abomination, a foam covered humanoid being crawling out of a pile of gunk. It probably could’ve been made into something poetic about birth or rebirth, but honestly the scenario was disgusting enough.

  “Once I’m far enough away from the main pile drop a gallon of peroxide on my head to get rid of this stuff please.”

  No concern for getting soaked?

  “What's the worst that could happen?”

  Not much to be honest.

  “Then it’ll be fine!” Finally clearing a wide enough hole in the foam to see, I saw my rifle laying on the ground. I ran over and snatched it up, before aiming it at the closest of the Eighteens which was currently jumping from the wall to the floor where it impacted with a thud, and launched a myriad of dirt clods into the air.

  The Trill sounded almost gleeful when I squeezed the trigger and sent the crackling bolt of electricity toward the beast where it barely did anything other than leave a smudge on its armor.

  “Fuck. Pyri do I-“

  Nothing in your current arsenal can penetrate that armor, and the gaps are more than tough enough to block your electricity, buckshot, and slugs.

  Dashing to the side to avoid the thing’s charge, I winced as a lance of pain shot through my side.

  Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

  “Wha?”

  That would be the ribs you bruised in your fall. Do you want something for it now?

  “No!” I shouted, “Just give me some C-Foam grenades so I can glue them down at least!”

  The weight of the grenades attaching to my bandolier was compounded by a deluge of liquid dropping onto me from above. The C-Foam still on me washing away with ease.

  A large thump from behind had me spinning around to find a hole in the ground instead of the second Eighteen.

  “Pyri?”

  Model Eighteens are more than just bruisers, they are also quite adept at tunneling. I advise that you don’t stand in the same place for long, and be wary of sinkholes opening up beneath your feet.

  The sound of the first beastie charging back at me prompted a dive to the side only for a large ‘whump’ to sound out instead. Turning to look, I saw it completely enveloped in C-Foam. In a stroke of luck the thing had run through the edge of it to get to me, and when its right legs had been glued stiff, it fell over.

  The C-Foam wont hold it for long. Once again, you need something more powerful to kill them.

  “GIMME A SECOND TO THINK ON IT!” I shouted as the ground beneath me shook. Ideas flitted by my head one by one, each discarded for various reasons.

  I wanted something reusable, that wouldn’t be another brand new weapon, reasonably priced, and in general fun to use.

  Unfortunately that quite thoroughly eviscerated the prospect of a massive tank.

  The second Eighteen burst from underneath where I had dived to, in an eruption of dirt and sand. Its mouth feelers lashing out wildly as if expecting me to be within grabbing distance.

  “Definitely don’t want to end up in those tentacle things.” I muttered while running away from the xenos. “How the fuck am I supposed to come up with something to order in the middle of all this?”

  Spark dear, I truly hope you didn’t hit your head harder than I thought.

  I felt my face go incandescent, “Oops uhhhh, give me something reasonably priced, reusable, and fun to use without requiring an entire new weapon please?”

  Lucky for you your Foxes’ Trill Rifle is partially modular. Just one question?

  “Shoot.”

  How do you feel about harpoon guns?

  I grinned wildly, only for it to fade with the sound of shattering C-Foam and the thundering of those massive legs.

  “Go for it!” I shouted. “Just hurry up with the explanation!”

  The 4850-L Harpoon Attachment is a specialized harpoon launcher designed for use with the Foxes’ Trill in order to allow for an easier way to kill hardened foes by the Vulgoran Military. It uses a magnetic kicker powered by your rifle to fire the harpoon at a target while trailing a very strong wire used primarily to transmit an alternating current into the harpoon and by extension whatever it hits.

  More importantly that wire is strong enough to reel the harpoon in and the attachment will auto snap the harpoon back into position to be launched again.

  Finally in the case of snags or cases where the harpoon will be used against you while launched, the wire can be cut by either of us to ensure your safety.

  “Good enough! Buy it and show me how to put the damned things together!”

  Throw the two grenades on your bandolier so I can attach the purchase to your bandolier.

  Heeding Pyri’s order, the pair of grenades both were sent flying, the act of throwing them pulling at my ribs even more. Barely on the mark, they both exploded and sent their payloads right into the faces of the two hulking things.

  Ignoring the sounds of straining C-Foam, I looked down at my bandolier to see three new things, a small boxy thing, and a reel full of wire an eighth of an inch thick, which fed into a spear inside a cylindrical machine with a cyan lightning bolt opposite of the attachment point. The harpoon itself glimmered with a silvery sheen, two long and very sharp barbs sprouting from the tip.

  First, you need to attach the reel to the rifle just in front of the trigger.

  Turning the gun over, I saw a small spot that was noticeably bare, the reel easily snapped onto it and a quick yank proved it immobile.

  Magnetic locks that won’t disengage if the power cell is drained. Now there should be a small cable coming out of the side of the reel, attach that to the outlet above it. Plug it into the AC converter and plug that into the outlet on the side of the rifle.

  Right as I got the converter hooked up and the wire began glowing a gentle blue, the Eighteens ripped free of their C-Foam prisons and charged after me again.

  “Oh come on, can’t you fucks give me a few more seconds?” I shouted over my shoulder as I sprinted away.

  Whether they could not didn’t seem to cross their minds as they crashed into each other while trying to trample me. “What’s the last step Pyri?”

  Okay, right underneath the rifle’s anode you should see a small piece of the weapon’s safety guard that is removable. Pull that out and fit the harpoon launcher into the slot beneath it.

  My hands blindly poked and prodded at the gun until I felt the guard shift. I yanked it out and tossed it into the dirt and crammed the attachment into it until it finally locked in with a resounding click.

  Perfect! Just give it a few seconds to warm up, and it’ll be ready to fire!

  “A few seconds is a bit much to ask right now Pyri!!” I shouted as I turned and fired ineffective bolts of electricity at the behemoths. I wasn’t going to get lucky with them running into each other again since they had decided to put a small bit of distance between them with one trailing the other.

  Done! Pull the casing around the launcher back to energize the magnetic rails, it will be ready to fire right after! Hold the trigger down after launching to energize the harpoon!

  The casing was easy enough to pull back, the machine inside my hand humming dangerously as if attempting to hiss at the Eighteens.

  I pulled the trigger, and the harpoon shot out with a hiss and the sound of the reel rapidly clicking as the line went after it. The harpoon pierced right into the first Eighteen’s chest with a thwap. Following Pyri’s advice, I held the trigger down, and the wire started glowing much brighter as the Eighteen instantly started feeling the effects of electricity flowing through its body, frying anything and everything it crossed.

  I only felt my grin widen when I saw my points tick up even further.

  Release the trigger and push the casing forward to reel the harpoon in.

  With my finger off the trigger, the line instantly dimmed, and the harpoon almost seemed to yank itself out of the corpse and come flying back into the launcher with a satisfying clank.

  My grin only got wider as the second Eighteen crawled up over its twins' body seemingly having crashed right into it from behind when I dropped it.

  I raised the rifle and fired as it leapt at me.