After everyone was done eating and there were only bones left, the adults organized into hunting teams for the next couple of days. Arissa was put into a group with her own mother, and three others, and her excitement was nearly contagious. I might have been more excited on her behalf, if it wasn't for me being in such inner turmoil.

  I had just eaten an entire elf. I must have eaten well over my own body weight in raw flesh, and I was still hungry. Something that should be impossible by normal logic, but as a celestial snow fox, logic doesn't follow the same laws as back home. The idea of me eating a sapient humanoid being made me feel awful, that woman might be a mother, wife, and a good friend. I'm sure she would be missed by many, and there even be search parties to find the missing group of elves.

  And we had just made sure that no search would turn up any positive results. We were a true menace upon this world, monsters that cared not for anything but to fill their endless appetite.

  I might not have killed any of the elves, but I was just as guilty by partaking in eating their remains. The only thing that made the entire thing worse was that it was incredibly delicious, I craved more and was still hungry.

  I had to focus and push down all my negative emotions to avoid having a mental breakdown in public. I couldn't talk with anyone, since no one else had these struggles with morality of eating sapient beings. I had to deal with my inner turmoil on my own, but this was not the place or time for that. Now I had to put on a brave face for Arissa’s sake.

  So I got back to my feet and left the longhouse. So I could follow Arissa’s scent and congratulate her on gaining her second tail, before they left for their hunting expedition, they could be gone for several days after all.

  I just caught up to her within minutes, and was surprised to see her towering over me, over a head taller than me now. She must have grown seven to eight inches since yesterday. Shocked over seeing my only friend so much taller than me, I spent a few moments taking in her new appearance.

  It wasn't only her height, her shoulders were now broader, her arms had more defined muscles and she even seemed older just by her facial features alone, and some of her soft and cute girlish charm had hardened. Her breasts were also much larger now, something difficult not to notice when she was displaying them freely as she always had done. The young pup I had considered my only friend since I was thrown into this mad world had suddenly grown into a mature woman just like that.

  Feeling uncomfortable talking up to the tall woman, I awkwardly held my paw around my upper arm, and tried to put on a cheerful tone.

  “Hey. Congratulations on getting your second tail, I'm so happy on your behalf, and maybe a little jealous if I'm gonna be completely honest”

  Arissa looked down at me and gave me a tooth filled grin, her happiness nearly oozing out of her. Failing to contain her joy she started to skip around in circles, replying in her normal girlish tone she always had. “ I'm soooo excited, I can finally fight for food at the table, and do extended hunter trips like everyone else.”

  She might look like a mature woman now, but she is still displaying herself as the little girl I've always known. I chuckled to myself.

  “I bet it would be great,” I replied with a sigh

  “I will be lonely here without you though, gonna miss having you around. I hope I can get my second tail soon too.”

  Arissa put her paw on my shoulder and patted me lightly, and spoke in her best comforting tone. “ Don't worry Lunaria, your day will come sooner or later, and before you know it, we are running around in the forest hunting together again, but next time our prey will be bigger, we might even take down large herds of prey. Just imagine how much we will be able to eat.”

  I tried my best to hide my depressive mood and forced myself to smile back at her, then I took her paw in mine, squeezed it gently and replied. “ Yeah, I'm already looking forward to it. It might take me a few years though, you managed to get yours in an impressive time, you are still only fourteen.”

  Arissa blew a raspberry, waved her paw dismissively and said. “Don't make me laugh. Maybe I managed to get my tail earlier than most, but the way the matriarch keeps feeding you, I'm sure you will be right behind me, I've always been jealous seeing her spoil you so much you know”

  I wanted to argue. That I wasn't spoiled, but from her perspective. As a monstrous fox that only cared for food, that might be her definition of being spoiled. It wasn't like Mother hadn't showered me with affection all these years, she might have her own way of showing it, but she constantly rubbed my ears and stroked my back affectionately. And to my great annoyance she constantly kept fussing about my hair. She often brushed and braided my hair, going as far as getting a hairbrush, and decorative hair pins made. They were all made out of bone, but making bone tools was such a pain in the ass. I had tried to convince Mother to let me cut my hair short in my younger days, but that notion she had flatly refused to even discuss. But again, everyone kept their hair long here, even all the males too.

  Realizing that I actually might be a little spoiled warmed my heart a little, easing up some of all the negative emotions I kept boiling under a lid.

  I felt my face heat up, feeling like I was on the edge to start crying again. Doing my best to keep myself together, I shrugged and replied. “You might be right, I might be a little spoiled. We will see how long it will take me, but you should get going, we can't have your party waiting for you at your first great hunt. Remember to bring some juicy meat back to the tribe.” My voice only cracked up a little on my words.

  Arissa just looked at me for several moments, indecision clear in her eyes. Finally she shrugged it off and replied.” You're right, try your best not to get into any mischief now that I'm not around to watch over you.”

  I forced a smile and just nodded in confirmation. Then Arissa took a step towards me, and lifted me up in a giant hug. Afterwards she gently put me down and wordlessly turned to walk away.

  Shocked over what had happened. Arissa had just given me a hug, she had never done anything like that before, she simply never did clingy stuff, or dealt with emotions in any way. She expressed hunger, and happiness. Never anything in between, had she noticed that I was feeling out of it ? I didn't want her sympathy, but it is nice to know that she cares. At least in her own way.

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  I kept pushing the whirlwind of emotions down as I watched Arissa leave. Unsure what I should do with myself now, I did the only thing that made any sense to me at this point, and that was to find Mother. I needed guidance, moral support and answers. Picking up her scent was easy, and I followed her scent back to our tent.

  Sad and frustrated of being left behind by the only friend I had known for years, and struggling with the morality of eating that elf. I knew it was our culture, but it isn't like I have been completely indoctrinated into this way of life.

  My emotions were close to overflowing, and I wanted nothing more than to break down and cry in Mothers arms to be comforted, But crying isn't a socially accepted thing here.

  When I entered our tent, I found Mother gathering our sleeping furs to air them out. She turned towards me as I entered, and raised an eyebrow, anticipating questions.

  I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before asking. ”Mother? What made Arissa gain her second tail? Do you have any advice on how I can gain mine faster? I don't want to be the only pup left in the tribe. I'm gonna be lonely here with Arissa, she might be an airhead, but she was the only one I could run around with.”

  Mother examined me for what I felt like an eternity, finally she sighed, scratched her head and said. “Oh I should have expected that you might react like that when this day came. But you don't need to worry about it too much, I don't think you are that far off. You are much more mature than what Arissa was at your age. I do feed you a lot more than what Marrisa could ever feed Arissa.”

  I gave a dubious stare, expecting her to say more, but she remained silent. “Sooo? That's it? I'm just supposed to eat a lot? That’s basically the only damn thing we do here. Look for things to hunt and eat.” I stated in an aggravated tone.

  Mother got an amused expression on her face, and let out a tiny chuckle and resumed her explanation.” You are not wrong in that, We are hunters after all. But you should know it is not just about how much you eat, the quality of the meat is important too. Didn't you notice something different with the elves we ate today compared to our usual meals?”

  I held back my annoyed retort and considered what she had said. I ate their flesh, just like I would with any animal. Everything we eat is delicious, but eating elf was incomparable to anything else I have eaten so far, it was so incredibly good that it was impossible to stop after first starting. The only real difference I can think of is that they are sapient and humanoids, and that in itself makes it morally wrong, that is the main reason why I'm even upset in the first place!

  I hesitated, thought about it once more before stating in an uncertain tone.” It tasted better than everything else we eat? Is it really that simple? But what about the morality of eating a sapient being? Or is it that they are sapient that makes them taste better in the first place?”

  Mother’s face went from a grin to a questioning expression as she heard my answer. She frowned for a moment before replying. “I don't get what you mean with morality or a sapient being. But what I do know for certain, is that the taste is just a symptom that the quality is high. But it is more to it than that. Considering how smart you are, I’m almost surprised that you haven't grasped the main reason yet. When we eat something, what actually sustains us, is actually the magic contained in the meat, not the meat itself. You might have noticed that bigger prey like deer and wolves taste a lot better than rodents, fish and other small game. There are of course exceptions, bigger doesn't always taste better. You can find rare magical animals, but they are rather elusive, even when you find them. Then you have elves, humans and beastkin, they are exquisite compared to most other prey out there. There is also a selected few within those races that practice magic, and they are even tastier than anything you can imagine. But they are few and you don't see them often around these parts.

  The realization hit me like a mental truck. Holy shit. That makes so much sense, and it explains a lot, that must be why we live for so long, and why I can eat and eat without ever feeling full. The mass of the meat itself doesn't matter at all, it's all about consuming magic. Doesn't that mean that in theory I could sustain myself and grow by other means?

  “Why haven't you told me any of this earlier?” I asked, a hint of annoyance in my tone. “ I mean if we actually feed on magic itself, shouldn't there be alternative ways to obtain it? Why do we have to eat to consume it? There must be more effective ways to feed on it. Also, if the other races can learn magic, why don't we also use it?”

  Mother just shook her head and replied. “Here we go again. You sure have an imaginative mind. As soon as you learn something new, you want to find other ways to do things instead. There is only one way for us to consume magic, and that is to eat it, so we do like we always have done. We hunt for it, we are the eternal hunters, as long as we keep hunting we won't die of old age. Just wait until you gain more tails, then you will be more sensitive to magic, and you will feel the benefits of the magic you consume. As for why we don't use magic? We do use it, we use it every day. You use it when you breathe, when you move around, every action you take burns a tiny amount of the magic you have stored. When you get a little older you will also learn how to manipulate and manifest ice. It's not that useful though, we mainly only use it for preserving meat. “

  “Eternal youth, that is one hell of a great use for magic, but you said I could manipulate ice? I can imagine plenty of ways to make that useful.” I said, excited at the thought of actually doing magic spells.

  Mother held her paw out to me, and slowly ice started to form around her paw, the ice grew until her entire paw was hidden under a large ice claw, nearing 12 inches in length. She swung it a couple of times to demonstrate her extended ice claw.

  I was in awe, thrilled by the thought of being able to wield magic. And for the first time in 12 years, I was excited by being in this world. “That was awesome, I wanna learn how to do that” I begged.

  Mother just laughed and dispelled her ice claw, the ice evaporating into white steam. She then patted my shoulder and replied.” You will learn, but only when you are ready. You need to grow your second tail first, you won't be able to guide the magic in your body with a single tail. But creating ice isn't that useful, our natural claws are strong enough to take down most prey, so we rarely use it during hunts. The only thing we actually use it for is to freeze the fallen prey we are saving for the communal meals.

  “I know I will find many uses for such a skill, and then I will show you how to utilize such an amazing ability.” I quickly answered, with complete confidence.

  Mother gave me a kiss on my forehead and ruffled my hair with affection as she kept up her motherly lecture. “We will train you to use your magic when you are ready, for now you should just focus on your hunting, even if Arissa isn’t dragging you along anymore. You are strong enough to catch most prey close to our village, just keep within your usual range and you will be safe.”

  I nodded in confirmation, started to straighten out my hair and asked. “I get why the elf tasted better now, but why do we eat them? It felt wrong to actually eat a sapient being, they were people just like us. They might have families that will mourn and miss them, shouldn't we try to have friendly relations with them instead? We could even trade and share knowledge with them. Hunting and eating them seems counterproductive.

  Mother's mood instantly turned sour. She growled deeply, and replied in a bitter tone. “We will never have friendly relations with them. They will attack on sight, it's kill or be killed with them. That they might have families should not matter either. They have killed and ruined enough families that they can't complain if we do the same to them. I don't see why it would be wrong to eat them, if they managed to kill one of us, they would butcher us and use our pelts. The strongest always prevails.

  I was taken aback at the hostility that came from Mother, she clearly had something against the elves. I didn't dare to press on the issue. If what she said was true, it might be best to avoid such beings. I figured I would ask more later. For now I should focus on hunting so I could one day learn magic and go with Arissa on hunts.