Friday, 16 January 2044

  What the actual hell was today? I know I said I didn’t know what to say last time, but frick, I don’t know what to say at all. I don’t know where to begin.

  Nah, I know exactly where to begin.

  What the hell is Mom’s problem?

  Wait, wait—first of all—this room is crazy! I don’t know what I expected from a Poké Center, no less a VIP room… but she probably thinks it’ll make me forget what she said. She’s always working for me, but I know the truth. She loves what she does… and she’s coping.

  She thinks I’m a baby in more ways than one. She thinks I’m too stupid to see her trying to numb things by working her job, her dreamy job that she can’t get enough of—but when I leave home for less than a day, she goes full Darmanitan and blows up!

  Now I’m supposed to go home?

  What the hell?

  To who? To what? There isn’t anything or anyone at home; it’s quiet and it sucks. I can’t cook to save my life, so how the hell am I supposed to eat? She thinks I can live on Rage Candy Bars?

  Hold on: let’s talk about how she has no idea I almost died today!

  All she knows is Keira and whatever that other guy’s name is; all she knows is glitter and frickin’ costumes—all she knows is ribbons, Poffins, and all that fairytale stuff. She’s so obviously trying to run away from what happened.

  She thinks I’m too dumb to see that. She thinks the same thing will happen to me if I go out into the wild; I bet she’d freak out if she heard I was out in the forest at night. But look who made it out. All by himself too—well, me and Azure…

  She has no idea what I can do—hell, I bet I could go back home and learn how to cook so I really wouldn’t need her there anymore. Not like she’d care. She just wants the peace of knowing I’m safe and sound and her baby isn’t doing anything stupid.

  Not talking to strangers.

  So… annoying.

  I still can’t believe what happened.

  Does that seriously happen every time you travel at night? Those things were feral. I mean… you see stuff like this on TV and whatever, but it’s nothing remotely close to seeing it in real time.

  Those feral Pokémon.

  How am I supposed to control something like that?

  I can’t control a stupid water bird, and yet, as a trainer, I’m supposed to train something as insane as a frickin’ Luxray if I wanna be strong—which, by the way: what the hell!

  I’ve never seen anything like what that thing did—the whole area was buzzing—I even got shocked just sitting there. Then there were the other members of their pride; I swear they were sound asleep—dead even—but somehow they got up?

  I need to research that and figure out how to apply it with the new one.

  I don't know what I'm gonna call him yet; he's just as much of a chaotic monster as Azure, and I doubt they'll get along much.

  Speaking of which… he probably won't be happy to see me after what happened in the forest. I shouldn't have done that. Now it'll be even harder to get him to listen to me.

  But then again… why does he have to be so stubborn? Would it kill him to listen to me?

  He acts like he's too good and so strong even when he's in no position to fight.

  I shouldn't have done that, I know, but him too.

  He needs to learn to listen to me... somehow.

  He's gonna get himself and maybe all four of us killed if he keeps doing this stupid proud act of his.

  I have to train him. I have to teach all of them that I'm in control, all three of them. The two of them especially; imagine if I could get something as strong as a Luxray and an Empoleon in my arsenal… just imagine that!

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  Imagine me making the entire field a lightning playground!

  My opponents would be powerless; they’d have to play by my rules! Imagine that sort of power…

  I’ve got to get better.

  I need to do better.

  Maybe the Pokémon School has someone who can teach me… no.

  Enough with all that—that’s probably why everyone thinks I’m helpless!

  Forget them teaching me; how about I try to figure things out myself for once?

  No more handouts. Not from Mom, not from any nurses, not from…

  Dawn!

  I hope she’s okay.

  Okay, wait—not worried; I shouldn’t be tripping over a girl like her anyway.

  She’s got her whole life together, unlike me. It’s almost scary how perfectly in line everything is with her.

  I still can’t get over how perfect her Piplup’s sheen is—I bet Mom would fawn over it.

  I’m sure they’d get along just fine.

  Even though I came late, even though I’m probably more of a burden to her than anything else, she still helped me. She still wanted to help even though I wasted her time—but seriously, what’s going on with me?

  I swear these dreams keep getting weirder, but at least I didn’t wake up with a headache this time.

  I hope I didn’t jinx myself.

  Maybe I’ll see her in town tomorrow.

  She probably went home or something; bet she has a curfew she’s gotta stick to. Hopefully, she’ll say something—

  No!

  Why do I need her to hold my hand like I can’t set a course to the library on my map and get there myself?

  Like, for goodness' sake: I’m not gonna grow up if I keep following everyone around!

  That’s why Barry keeps calling me a Purrloin all the time; I keep going along with everyone else.

  Speaking of Barry, I totally understand why he was always pissed off whenever Thorton battled on screen. There’s seriously something wrong with that guy… but to be honest, caring what other people think and about other people’s business does sound kinda lame now that I think about it.

  Maybe I do care too much.

  Not that he’s cool, nah, he sucks.

  Plus, soon, I’ll be better than a measly Frontier Brain like him.

  Definitely.

  Of course, first I’ve gotta get my stuff together.

  I can't go in without a plan—

  Oh, and I never got around to researching the Adamant Orb; I passed out last night before I could.

  Maybe the library has some info on it, a few books maybe?

  Though I don't really get the whole book thing much if we're already using PCs and the internet for everything.

  A bit outdated, just like this TR the Professor gave me.

  I'm pretty sure people just record this stuff and post it on the internet… or maybe that's illegal?

  I don't know.

  Maybe I could sell it?

  I mean, TRs and TMs are pretty expensive, and I need the money if I'm gonna take care of three Pokémon…

  I need to speak to the Professor.

  I never got around to telling him about what happened with Mesprit… not that I want his help figuring it out.

  I mean, it kinda is my job to figure things out as a researcher; plus, I can't lie and act like I'm not interested in gathering clues.

  It has to be the work of some Pokémon… maybe Cresselia?

  If so, that's awesome!

  Though, I doubt she's behind it; those aren't the types of dreams she gives people—and I pray to Arceus it's not Darkrai, though it's probably not responsible since I probably would've died…

  Damn, I'm getting excited just thinking about the possibilities!

  I've gotta know.

  I should get Dawn to ask the Professor how this arrangement's gonna work…

  No.

  I should tell Dawn to give me the Professor's number, and I'll speak to him myself.

  She has things to do, and so do I.

  I shouldn't be a burden to her; I bet she'd say it's not a good look or something.

  That sounds like a plan.

  I'll head out tomorrow, and I should stop saying I'll go to Oreburgh and just get there.

  Barry's probably way ahead; I'll catch him though.

  Enough with this pity party.

  I think that's the Chansey the nurse spoke about knocking on the door with dinner…

  I'll get things under control.

  No more waking up late, no more disobedience, no more weakness.

  That's all for now.