Food was a slight issue. But any good revelry is about finding your own comfort.
“Are there… rules?” Hunter asked, bemused by the sudden activity. Klaw and Daggat laughed.
“Rules and revelry don’t mix. It’s a party, Hunter. Have fun.” Zuss told him, handing him a bottle.
“Umm… I don’t think I’m allowed to drink this stuff.” He said.
“Don’t worry, I’m a paladin now. It’s fine.” Klaw winked at him.
“I shouldn’t…” Hunter continued.
“Come on, it's fun!” Anath said. Daggat gave her a lop-sided smile. She already had a bottle of wine. Daggat laughed and jumped onto the table.
“Ladies, Gentlemen! Worm! Tonight we celebrate victory!” Daggat said, using his hypervocal chords. Cheers greeted him. He noted Hunter taking a careful sip. He made a sour face. “The first of many. Eat and drink! Have fun! That is what it means to be a goblin. At least, goblinish! Klaw, Zuss, what does it mean to have fun?” Zuss poured a caramel liquor into a bowl. Elyndris dipped her muzzle in.
“Fun, like all things, must be TAKEN with your claws!” Klaw called. Daggat pointed at him.
“CORRECT!” Daggat called.
“No restrictions, no judgment. Eat what you want, drink what you want, and find luxury even in the most foul of mud pits.” Zuss answered.
“Also correct. Anath! What does it mean to party?” Daggat pointed at her. Her eyes widened in shock from suddenly being put on the spot.
“To… um… sing? And dance?” She ventured.
“Sure, but what's at the CORE of it?” Daggat prodded.
“Dance without… restriction?” She said. Daggat nodded and urged her on with a hand. “To sing no matter what! Do what's fun and toss the consequences to the side!” The enthusiasm was getting to her.
“YES!” Daggat cried. “That is how you party like a goblin! Sing your heart out.”
“I… can’t sing.” She admitted.
“Elyndris! Mighty worm and future dragon. Terror of the flour sack and enemy of cats everywhere. What say you? What does it mean to party?” Daggat lifted the worm into the air.
“TO FEAST ON YOUR FOES!” She screamed. “Take their treasure! Steal their power! BURN THE WORLD TO ROAST YOUR SWEETS! Oh, and fly. Can’t forget flying.”
“Okay! I guess that works too!” Daggat called, then tossed the worm. She flew in a circle, roaring in her tiny voice.
“Hunter! What does it MEAN TO PARTY!?” Daggat yelled his question at Hunter with glee. The ogre had a large smile on his face, laughing along with everyone else. The mood was properly set now.
“To eat good food with your friends,” Hunter answered.
“Bah, is that a REAL party? Try harder.” Daggat said.
“To… uh… FEED your friends?” He tried again.
“That’s good. I like that. Let’s do that one.” Said Klaw. Daggat upended a bottle into his mouth and drank. He felt the warmth flood down his throat. It tasted like wood and fire.
“Then let's party!” He declared.
So, the crew partied. They drank and ate. Danced and shared stories. Soon, they had each drunk a little… too much. Particularly those not used to the goblin lifestyle.
“Pleeeeaaaase!” Anath cried desperately. She was latched onto Klaw’s leg as he tried to walk away from her.
“No! You are NOT going to pet me.” He growled at her. She started to tear up.
“Just a little floofing?” She asked.
Daggat laughed. Hunter was sitting in a chair, simply laughing like an idiot.
Elyndris was chasing Birdy, screaming her revenge. Someone had removed Birdy’s bandage and the cat was awkwardly gliding away from the drunk worm.
Zuss was eating some sort of fried dough concoction she made from the last of the flour.
As for Daggat, he was playing with his spear and was currently the source of entertainment for Zuss and Hunter.
He lept in the air and tried to flip off of his spear like a tree branch. He landed on his rear. As he lay there, the world spinning above him, he noticed something missing.
A newcomer to their party, but one who could possibly be the most important to this place. Daggat certainly couldn’t run this place.
Where was Alfred?
Groggily, he got up and opened the party tracker. It pointed down. Ah. He knew where he was.
Several minutes later, Daggat wandered into the laboratory. Alfred was politely floating in the air, gazing at the wooden statue that was once Victor.
“Heeeey, Al.” Drawled Daggat. He turned to him.
“Hello, Daggat. Are… you drunk?”
“Jush some, celebrating. C’mon. You won too.”
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“I’m fine. Thank you.” He turned to look back at the ex-demon puppet. For a moment, Daggat watched him.
“He was your brother, right?”
“He was. A long time ago.”
“I’m sorry for your loss. I… I lost a brother too.” Daggat said. Alfred turned to him and floated lower.
“Was he turned into a demon's plaything?”
“No. Eaten by a drake. Killed it though.” The sarcasm was lost on Daggat. “So, what, you just going to float down here? Talk to Daddy dearest?” Daggat gestured to the tree, who was asleep again.
“You are right. No point in wallowing in the past. What’s done cannot be undone.”
“That’s not even him, y’know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Vic was killed a looong time ago. Otherwise, the demon couldn’t control him. Remember the whole undead wood thing? That means he’s long since been reincarnated.” Daggat wobbled as he talked. Alfred slowly turned his head to him.
“That’s… right. Victor is out there, somewhere.”
“Yup. No memory, unless he was a worm or something. But, same soul.”
“He would be in his forties or so… maybe an adventurer or wanderer.” Alfred had a thoughtful expression.
“I came all this way to get you, Al. We’re partying. Let’s goooo!” Daggat beckoned him towards him. Alfred sighed.
“Very well. But, just so you know, I can’t drink.”
“It’s okay, we’ve got a paladin,” Daggat mumbled. Alfred gave him a confused look.
A while later, Daggat stepped into the great hall with a wooden-faced Alfred in tow.
Anath had her swords out, luckily not the magical one, and was sparing with Klaw. Not so much as sparing, but slapping the swords at him while he battered them away with his claws. They were both laughing, and they had a doctor now, so there was no real harm in it. Hunter was dancing with Zuss, who kept stepping on his large feet.
“I got Al!” Daggat announced. Everyone cheered. Someone had vomited in the corner. Daggat ignored it. That was a tomorrow problem.
“Found a magical thingy! Let’s add it to the hoard!” Elyndris called. She was somehow dragging a painting towards them. It had a portrait of the old lord of the manor on it.
“Ah. Yes. That is my father's record portrait. You press the button on the back and the paint rearranges itself.” Alfred said. “Be careful with it, that is worth more than most homes.”
Hunter dropped Zuss, who landed on her feet and then fell over.
“We should use it! Get a painting of all of us?” Hunter said.
“A record of the new denizens. I like it.” Daggat said. Klaw and Anath stopped their pseudo-fight.
“What’s happening?” Anath asked.
“Let’s line up! Come on, this should be fun.” Daggat said. He picked up a wine glass from the table. He was drinking from it earlier.
Everyone lined up awkwardly at first.
“Alright,” Daggat started, “we’re going to get a portrait made! To scare our enemies or something. I don’t know, but it sounds fun. Everyone, do a cool pose or something.”
Alfred levitated the portrait as they lined up next to an empty wall.
Klaw posed with his claws extended while Elyndris sat on his head. She roared. Zuss also posed in a low stance, brandishing her Dagger. Hunter summoned his torch and gave a little wave. Alfred floated above them, skeptical of the whole experience.
As the button was pushed, a mirror-like image of the group started to appear over the old image. Daggat grinned.
Anath was excited at first, but then she noted the reflection. Suddenly, she seemed to droop, as though seeing her image saddened her. This was juxtaposed by Birdy getting her revenge on Elyndris at the last moment.
Then, the image was set.
—
Several hours later, everyone was sleeping off the copious amounts of alcohol. The next day was going to be rough. But, they had earned this bit of fun.
Daggat rolled off of his nose, sleeping on it was painful, and woke up. He allowed his pain tolerance to soften the headache. The first thing they were doing after this, picking out rooms. He missed Calion’s bed already.
Rather than passing out again, he decided to go for a walk. Maybe he could find a comfortable enough bed.
He found Alfred not far, using his telekinesis to cause a rake to gather roots in the hall. Why not just grab the roots?
“Hey, Al. How’d you like the fun?” Daggat asked.
“It was… enlightening. Is that how goblins normally spend their free time?”
“If we can help it. Doing some cleaning?”
“Someone has to,” Alfred said. He continued to work. Daggat scratched behind his ear.
“We’re going to need to chat about how this is going to work.” Daggat brought up.
“What? The monstrous occupation of my home? What’s to discuss?” Alfred said deadpan.
“Hey, Al. I want us on the same side. We helped each other out with the demon. That doesn’t need to stop.”
“And what could you do to help me?” Alfred asked.
“What do you want?” Daggat asked. He could have done the whole spiel of subtly bringing out what he wanted, then twisting it to his idea. It would be a drawn-out, lengthy conversation. But, Daggat was too tired, too hungover, and he just wanted to sleep comfortably. Alfred seemed to think for a while.
“I am dead.” He said.
“Arguably.”
“There is not much I can do.”
“Also, arguable,” Daggat remembered being pelted in the face by a whole Kingless set.
“But, this is my home. It should have passed to me.”
“I won’t give you the manor. We need a home.”
“I thought not. Nonetheless, it should be mine.”
“So, what are you thinking?”
“For now, hire me as a keeper of the estate. I will handle business expenses, property, staff, and the like.”
“Easy. What else?”
“I cannot leave here. Not without being vulnerable. So, you must bring this manor back to life. This village.”
“How do you expect I, a simple goblin, to do that?”
“Go out, spread the word. Make alliances. Build wealth. That sort of thing.”
“So far, this was all in the plan. What do you REALLY want?”
“I want you to find my brother. At least, his new incarnation. I don’t know how. But, we can figure that out.”
“I’ll keep an eye out. You know, this is going much smoother than I expected.”
“Being dead makes it easy to remove emotion. There is one other thing, however.” He looked Daggat straight in the eyes. “Should either of us discover a way to rebind my soul, we must pursue it.”
“To the best of our ability, and without endangering ourselves unnecessarily.”
“Agreed. But, when I live again, I demand the manor.”
“Now, hold on. We’re looping.”
“No, no. You see, this time, I can agree to keep you here as a retainers. Paid and with guaranteed shelter and protection. You will be free to run your enterprises from here.”
“You’d trust me to agree to that and follow through?” Daggat raised an eyebrow.
“No. But, I happen to know you have contracts.”
“So you were watching? Fair enough. Then, shall we move to my office? We can write up a proper agreement.”
“Tomorrow. You look like you fought a demon.” Alfred gave him a sly smile. “You’ll need to be well rested to best my wits in a game of law.” Daggat laughed.
“You’re on. But, there is something I need to make sure is clear.”
“And what is that?”
“When I run this place, it’s not going to as a lord or a king or whatever. That ain’t me.”
“Then how will you run it?” Asked Alfred. Daggat grinned at him.
“Like a goblin.”
End of Book One
PARTY STATS WILL GET THEIR OWN CHAPTER FOR THE END OF THE BOOK FULL STATS!
IMPORTANT INFORMATION BELOW
Thank You for Reading!
Goblin Teeth (or at least what I believe will be the end of Book One) is now complete. This marks a major milestone, and I’m excited for what comes next.
Goblin Teeth will continue. I have no plans to stop any time soon. That said, a few updates:
1. Short Break:
I’ll be taking a brief break for a few weeks. During this time, I’ll post one chapter per week, along with some bonus stat-focused content. Regular releases will resume April 13th.
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