home

search

XXIII.Nightmare and madness

  Tola, Lilou, Tobias and Zang immediately took the way to the dormitories assigned to them, without asking for their rest, all with a little compassionate thought for Komari, who was surely going to get a hell of a beating.

  It was with the satisfaction of a busy day that they fell asleep. The whispers of Lilou, who complained about the catastrophic state of her blistered palms, made Tola smile as she slowly slipped into a deep sleep.

  But something suddenly pulled her out of her dreams.

  She didn't know how or why, but she clearly felt a disturbance. A discomfort, a pain... a jolt in the Force, which could only have come from Komari. Instinctively, she left the dormitory in silence, deftly avoiding the Temple's nightly patrols.

  Her steps led her without hesitation to the single room that Komari was having, because of his restless nights. But when she pushed the door, she found no trace of her friend.

  Following her intuition, she headed to the training room they had used earlier in the day. And as soon as she reached the adjoining corridors, she heard sharp, regular noises. Someone was training.

  Discreetly, she stuck her head through the doorway.

  Komari was there. Silhouetted alone in partial darkness, she executed a series of movements of striking speed with a stick. The fluorescent green eyes fixed in front of her, the hard and concentrated gaze. She hadn't even realized that she wasn't alone.

  Tola froze. She had never seen Komari so involved in a training session. There was something more, something different... an almost suffocating intensity in each of his gestures.

  Tola saw her friend try to hit an invisible form.

  "Enough is enough! You are all dead! None of you are real! Komari growled.

  Then she turned her head abruptly to the side, as if to address another presence, which only she seemed to perceive.

  "And you... You're not me! I'M KOMARI! NOT YOU! It doesn't matter if you're an entity from my future, or an alternate version of myself summoned by some Force shenanigans, I am and will remain the only Komari! ?

  At these words, she projected a powerful thrust of Force towards the direction she was setting. The impact crashed into the stands of the hall, raising a short breath, but without causing any major damage.

  Tola, who had remained in the shadow of the doorway, clearly felt the pressure that was rising in the Force around Komari. It was heavy, oppressive. Uncontrolled.

  "Troubled, your friend is," said a familiar voice behind her.

  Tola jumped. She turned quickly to discover Master Yoda, his small cane in his hand, who was giving her a calm smile.

  "In bed, you should be," he reminded softly, blamelessly, before turning his attention to Komari.

  "It's because... I felt something, Master. Through the Force. Like a pain... a call. Tola hesitated, her eyes returning to her friend. "And that's how I found it. Is she okay? ?

  The old master shook his head slowly.

  "Time is needed. Traumas are hard to erase. ?

  Tola hugged her.

  "I have the impression that she sees things... things we don't see. ?

  Yoda nodded gravely.

  "Same remark, Mr. Yaddle and Mr. Windu made. Haunted by the dead, it is. It remains to be seen... if these deaths are in his mind, or in his heart. ?

  "Is there anything we can do?" asked Tola, her eyebrows furrowed with concern.

  She liked to think that she was more mature than other initiates her age, but since she had met Komari, she had understood that the world, even through the Force, was much more complex and harsh than the teachers had made it out to be.

  Yoda gently put a hand on his arm.

  "Some fights, only the soul can fight them. Sometimes you just have to... wait. To be there, when she is ready. ?

  With a brutal gesture, Komari swept the space around her with a strike from the unleashed Force.

  "And let the damn whispers in my head stop! Let these fucking voices shut up! ?

  His voice, filled with anger and hatred, echoed through the empty room. Then, as if an answer had been whispered to her, an answer that only she could hear, she grunted furiously and grabbed her stick with both hands.

  Tola barely had time to react. Before his eyes, stunned and horrified, Komari raised his weapon... and struck his head violently. The blow slammed sinisterly. A thin stream of blood beaded in his white hair. A totally crazy smile stretched her lips.

  "Or you are silent..." or everyone is forever silent with me! She yelled, her gaze fixed, her eyes wild.

  Tola felt an icy shiver run down her spine. She didn't understand... How could Komari, her friend, get to this point? But she knew one thing: if she didn't do anything, Komari would hurt herself to death. She had always known him to be determined. Too determined.

  "Komari!!" she shouted, her voice filled with concern. But the girl didn't even seem to hear him.

  Then Tola ran. She leaps across the room to grab Komari's hand, trying to bring it back to herself, to reality, to the present moment.

  Komari's fluorescent green eyes landed on her. But what she saw there froze her on the spot.

  The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

  They were not her friend's eyes. They were no longer Komari's eyes.

  They were those of a predator. Cold. Posted. Terrifying. Her friend's features were indistinguishable, replaced by a dark figure from which only the fluorescent eyes stood out.

  Before she could even react, the arm holding the stick went up, ready to strike. Not with anger. Not with hatred. Just... because something, or someone, had pointed to Tola as a threat. A stranger to what was happening there, in this inner chaos.

  Tola knew at that moment that she was going to die.

  But just before the shot went off, she saw Master Yoda. Standing, motionless, just behind Komari. She had neither heard his footsteps nor felt his presence. And yet, there he was.

  And suddenly... something happened.

  Komari's face tensed. An internal struggle, brutal, invisible, was taking place behind his eyes.

  The arm trembled... Hesitated... then fell back slowly.

  His eyes found a familiar glow, flickering, painful, but very present.

  "Tola?" whispered Komari, his voice astonished at his presence.

  Slowly, the pressure in the Force fell again, like a storm finally leaving the atmosphere. The air became breathable again. Komari stared at Tola with a strange, almost clinical attention.

  But before Tola had time to open his mouth, Komari looked away and looked at Master Yoda, who stood motionless.

  "If you are going to intervene, then don't waste time, Master. Or you'll regret it. That's my advice. ?

  Tola froze. She had never heard Komari speak like that to a Jedi Master. Not even in Windu.

  But Yoda didn't seem surprised or annoyed. He slowly closed the flaps of his robe with a discreet gesture, concealing the lightsaber that hung from his belt.

  "Confident in your abilities, I am," he said simply, his gaze as deep as space.

  In response, Komari gave a low, hoarse growl. She turned to Tola again and, with an unexpected gesture, patted his shoulder gently.

  "Go back to bed, and forget what you saw."

  Tola froze. It wasn't a friend's request. It was an order. A cold, detached instruction. As if what had just happened was nothing exceptional. Just another night in the troubled world of Komari.

  She still didn't let go of her stick. And even though her posture seemed relaxed, Tola, peering into her through the Force, perceived the truth: Komari remained on guard. Extreme, constant vigilance. As if her own mind could betray her at any moment.

  Yet, as she probed her friend through the Force, Tola sensed that Komari's anger had nothing to do with fear, or even shame. No... She was angry that she had almost hurt her.

  Not for what it would have meant in the eyes of others. Not for what Master Yoda might have thought.

  But for what it revealed: a lack of control. A flaw in the control that she constantly imposed on herself. A tiny breach, but very real.

  As if she were constantly walking on the edge of a precipice, her feet verging on pure madness... A madness that did not say its name.

  Komari was not apologizing. She did not tremble.

  She was seething with annoyance with herself. Because she had almost given in. Because she had let herself be invaded. Because a part of her, the one she hides, even in Tola, had briefly taken over.

  And yet... despite her silent fury, Tola also felt a more discreet, almost timid emotion filtering through the cracks of control. A sincere concern. A tender affection. And a hint of regret, for this blow that had not been delivered, but which could have been.

  So, even if she was still shaking a little, even if the shock had not quite passed, Tola thought it best to give her space.

  She approached gently, hugged Komari, briefly, but with all the weight of what she didn't say, and then stepped back with a slight smile.

  "If you ever need to talk... I'll be there," she whispered simply, before turning around and walking away, leaving behind the echo of a bond stronger than words.

  As Tola left the room, Komari whispered, without really taking his eyes off the door:

  "How borderline was that?"

  She knew full well that she had come close to a border—not just the one between herself and violence, but the one she had sworn to herself never to cross.

  Master Yoda's lack of response was, in itself, an answer.

  She thought back to his calm stillness, his silence, the way he had positioned himself behind her. He had not hesitated. Not because of laxity. But because he knew, with implacable certainty, that he could have eliminated the threat it had become in a split second, if it had been necessary.

  And somehow, it reassured her.

  The fact that he considered this outcome, that he accepted it without fear or unnecessary emotion... was, in his eyes, proof of reliability. Of lucidity.

  Komari had never fully trusted the Jedi. Too many of them were weak. Blinded by their own idealism, hesitant at the decisive moment. She felt them. She read this flaw in them as if in an open book.

  That was why she deeply respected Master Windu. Or Master Plo Koon. Because they were ready. Because she knew they would do the right thing. When it should be.

  The little master then sat down on the ground, in a calm and controlled gesture, before beckoning her to join him.

  "Meditate, we go. Together. ?

  A silence set in. Komari watched him for a long time. Then, without a word, she sat down opposite him. The stick still resting against his thigh. His eyes are still shining.

  Komari opened his mind to Yoda's, just enough for him to connect across the Force.

  The old Master did not flinch when he was assailed by the whispers that haunted the girl's mind. Nor in the face of the brief visions of death that looped through his consciousness: past, present, and future deaths.

  Nor was he surprised to see her die, again and again, in some of these visions.

  Gently, he calmed the murmurs. Not to silence them, but to make them bearable.

  "Channeling your pain, you must. And to ignore. ?

  "I can't, Master... she murmured. "It's... It became a part of me. ?

  Yoda nodded slowly. He understood what she meant. When you grow up in pain, you end up getting attached to it, even without wanting to. It becomes a brick in our inner construction. An anchor, as unstable as it is.

  "Then accept it. Question her. ?

  Komari fidgeted slightly.

  "This is not what the Order is advocating. I thought you were rejecting that kind of thing. ?

  A silence hung over him, and then Yoda replied, his eyes closed, his voice deep and peaceful:

  "We have to adapt the rules. Now and then. For some paths. ?

  She was amazed by the immense mastery of the Force that Yoda possessed a subtle, inner mastery, very different from the raw power she knew.

  He showed her how to erect mental barriers, not to defend herself from outside intrusion, but to compartmentalize her mind. To protect yourself... of itself.

  The hours passed without them noticing, immersed in the Force, as if suspended out of time.

  When Komari finally returned to her room, numb, her mind calm, she was surprised to find Tola, wrapped in a blanket, slumped on her bed soundly asleep, a slight snoring betraying her presence.

  A small laugh escaped Komari, who shook his head at such determination.

  This kid... She would never leave her alone.

  It was partly guided by Yoda's teachings, and reassured by Tola's stubborn presence at his side, that Komari finally lay down...

  And for the first time in a long time she fell asleep without a struggle.

Recommended Popular Novels