Misato woke, groggy, on the same bed she had just been having sex on.
Sex with Shinji…
Noticing some weird refraction of light out of the corner of her eye, she turned her head to see…
“…AGH. AN IV BAG?! HOW MUCH DID THAT KID WEAR ME OUT?!”
Startled out of her nap, Ritsuko almost fell out of the chair she was leaning back in. As she sat upright, she started ughing.
“Ah- HAAAAHahaaa… No, no, no. That’s just ‘cause I thought it’d be funny. You’re fine. Probably dehydrated like a motherfucker… or… motherly-fucker, rather, but with all the booze you guzzle, that’s probably your natural state.”
Misato sat up, rexing as, true to her friend’s words, the IV was not attached to her.
“But holy Hell, man, how did that kid do me in so hard?”
“The pill, most likely.” Ritsuko said while brandishing the bottle. “By the way, in case you forgot, you never took one. All your choices were completely uninfluenced by it. Oh, and you aren’t pregnant, by the way, I checked.”
As Misato digested the reality she now faced, she considered something.
“Wait. How can you tell that fast? I don’t know of any pregnancy test that can give an accurate reading so soon after…
…Jesus Christ, Ritsuko, how long was I out?!”
“Calm, calm. You’re like a High-School slut freaking out after gettin’ railed by the football team. Just because you haven’t heard of such a pregnancy test doesn’t mean they don’t exist. We have above-state-of-the-art medical equipment here at NERV. No worries. Turns out the kid has a lower-than-average sperm count anyways, so there wasn’t much chance to begin with. Even despite the ridiculous volume.”
Ritsuko offered a bottle of water to Misato who gorged upon it, ungracefully choking on some. As her friend, Ristuko was in great and terrible pain for refraining from making fun of her. As Misato looked up to thank her, she noticed something else.
“You’re smoking again?”
Ritsuko fiddled with the unlit cigarette from her lips.
“Technically, I never did stop. Just took longer and longer breaks between. But I’m not right now, just enjoying the mouth-feel. Some Freudian shit, or something.”
“Isn’t that the ‘fuckin’ your mom’ kinda thing?”
“It’s a lot of kinda things. But yeah, that’s one of them, as the expert here should know.”
Misato blushed as Ritsuko teased her with a raised eyebrow.
“Another one of his things was ‘oral fixation’. Some theory about how people who smoke really just wanna feel something in their mouth, like when a baby sucks their thumb to remind themselves of sucking their mother’s tit. Or repressed homosexual urges…”
“...Didn’t he smoke a bunch?”
Ritsuko smirked. “‘Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar’ he said.”
“So it’s only gay when other people do it, not when he does?”
“Something like that… You want me to walk with you?” Ritsuko watched Misato fix her clothes and hair, getting ready to leave.
“Uhhhhh…” She was too distracted to think. “Uh… Uh- Yeah. Yeah, please. I’m way too flustered to not look suspicious on my own.”
“Nobody’d know anything anyways, I mean why would ‘Oh she fucked her kid’ be the first assumption on their minds? They’d sooner assume it was us two doing the do and run off to the nearest secluded area so they can whack off to the thought.”
Misato smiled at the visual. She pictured Commander Ikari uncharacteristically turning bright red. Then she had that thought.
Oh he is gonna turn me inside out, and not in the hot way.
“Okay, let’s go then.” Ritsuko put a hand on her friend’s shoulder to steady her nerves. Misato welcomed it gratefully.
“...Sorry.”
Ritsuko looked confused. “About what?”
“...”
“...”
“Sorry… Let me buy you a drink. You like Jack?”
Ritsuko just accepted it without compint and hugged her friend.
The entire train ride home, Shinji felt like he was floating.
Is that in a good way, or a bad way?
He analyzed his feelings for a moment…
After we beat the next angel… What was it… Yeah, Arael. After we beat Arael, then I’ll decide… It all hinges on this battle. If we fall apart here, it’s all over.
Asuka and Rei had left before him. While he was recovering his stamina and cleaning himself up, he hadn’t noticed much, but they seemed to be strangely eager to leave. And… together?
Well, I guess it means they’re getting along… Never imagined it’d be like this, though.
…
…
What am I gonna do? Who am I gonna choose? Or do I just have four girlfriends now? I don’t know how to navigate around a normal conversation, let alone something like this…
God, I’m just so tired…
But… excited, too.
As Shinji walked to the door of his apartment, he wondered whether Misato would be home. He didn’t see her car anywhere, but he only walked past the opening of the otherwise empty parking structure.
Maybe it was behind a pilr, or she parked it next to the loading dock by the elevator… Not like anyone else lives here to object or anything…
His mind wandered absently as he reached for the door. He hesitated. Why?
…
He heard something… A voice? Panic rising, he slowly opened the door to find-
A naked pair of girls cradling each other while kissing deeply.
Shinji froze in shock.
WELL I GUESS THEY’RE REALLY GETTING ALONG, AREN’T THEY?!
Their attention slowly shifted toward the door. Rei’s face became stony, but Asuka’s became devilish. She grinned at Shinji like he was her Christmas present.
“Well, well, looks like the twerp finally made it…”
“We- welcome… home… Shinji.”
Shinji stood shocked in the doorway.
“I-
…
…
I’m home.”
He closed the door behind him.
