My peepers flipped open, not to the sun's golden embrace, which, let's be honest, was the bare minimum I expected after surviving a death that would make a seasoned grim reaper sweat. Nope. Instead, I'm greeted by the velvety void of absolute darkness.

  "Oh, come on, System! Seriously? More darkness? I've had my fill of pitch-black existential dread, thank you very much."

  Inside my skull, though, a manic laugh was doing the tango. Hah! I've thumbed my nose at oblivion! I'm practically immortal! The afterlife tried to ghost me, but I RSVP'd 'no thanks'!

  Okay, okay, I admit it. I was on a power trip. A full-blown, glitter-cannon-firing power trip. But who wouldn't be? I'd just returned from the land of eternal naps! I was basically a walking, talking "I told you so" to mortality.

  "Right, right," I muttered, trying to wrestle my inner maniac into a sensible cardigan. "Rational thoughts. Let's do some rational thoughts."

  ...

  Eeee! I'm alive! I love being alive! I've never been so happy! My joy is so intense, it's practically a physical force! I’m basically a human sunshine grenade!

  I did a little spin, testing out the new chassis. It felt... off. Like a pair of trousers that were a size too small. I reached up and patted my face, doing a mental inventory.

  "Two eyes, one nose, one mouth, two ears, and... short-to-medium hair. The colour? Who knows! It's all just a big, dark mystery!"

  It seemed I'd been resurrected in a tiny, light-deprived room, in a mystery location, on a planet that was probably teeming with mythical creatures and/or highly judgmental elves. The fantasy geek within me was doing a happy dance, but the survivalist was screaming, "Basement! Serial killer! Run!"

  "Am I in someone's basement?" I whispered, the word echoing in my mind like a horror movie trailer. "Oh, shit, I'm in someone's basement!"

  Panic, the uninvited party crasher, showed up with a kazoo and a can of silly string. My palms started sweating like they were auditioning for a water park commercial, and my body did a little shimmy of fear. I froze, channeling my inner tree on a windless day, trying to be as quiet as a mime in a library.

  The only sounds were my breath, which was doing a frantic impression of a steam train at first, then settled into a gentle wheeze, and the soft, rhythmic thump of my heart, which was clearly trying to win a marathon. Then, there was the trickle of water, a sporadic, off-and-on drip that sounded like a leaky tap in a haunted bathroom.

  After standing motionless for what felt like several geological eras, I decided to explore. Cautiously, like a cat walking on a freshly polished floor.

  "Okay, so it can't be a basement," I reasoned. "There's that dripping water, and it sounds like a spring. Plus, basements usually have some light, even if it's just a sliver. This is like the inside of a black hole's sock drawer."

  "A cave," I whispered. "I'm in a cave. This is like my soul's second first day of school, except this time, I get to wear a meat suit!"

  My hands explored the space. Moss, cold stone, and the trickling water. I felt a small hole in the floor where the water disappeared. "Nope," I said, pulling my hand back like it was a hot potato. "Not sticking my hand down there. My danger sense is having a full-on rave party."

  I sat on the moss, which was slightly less uncomfortable than the stone. "Ugh, this is like sitting on a damp sponge. And why is my backside so cold?"

  Then it hit me.

  "Oh. My. God."

  I was naked.

  Stark. Buck. Naked.

  Like a newborn, but with more existential dread.

  "That System is having a right giggle at my expense," I muttered. "I mean, resurrection is one thing, but did I really have to come back into the world like a freshly baked potato?"

  "If you can conjure me a new body, System, then where the heck are my trousers?"

  The System's box appeared, its white rim cracked and the stars inside looking like they'd been deflated with a pin.

  "Oh, System, are you okay? Did you have a rough landing?"

  The screen flickered.

  S *S tEM i NT3# F4CE LO4D-iNg

  12%

  35%

  49%

  65%

  78%

  89%

  100%

  SYSTEM RECALIBRATING IN PROCESS...

  SYSTEM CONFIGURATION IN PROCESS...

  ESTABLISHING DIRECT LINK

  CALIBRATING INTERFACE

  ...

  ....

  Then, poof! Gone.

  Time passed. A lot of time. Or maybe just a bit. Who knew? I was awakened from my meditative state by the sound of my stomach doing a dramatic rendition of a whale's mating call.

  "Right, I've clearly been here a while. I'm starving."

  I stretched, and a voice echoed in my head, feminine and clear.

  The System states that it has been 52 minutes, since your arrival on Tironia.

  "Whoa! You can talk now? Did I unlock a voice upgrade?"

  NO.

  Ouch. Harsh. Okay, then, how come I can hear you now?

  Communication is easier through a direct link rather than waiting for you to read the dialogue from the box.

  "Is that your way of saying I'm a slow reader?"

  YES

  "Well, damn, you're pretty blunt for a floating text box turned psychic voice, aren't you?"

  If anyone would know, it would be the person that brought me here wouldn't it?

  "Touché, System. Touché."

  I took a deep breath. "Okay, System, where are we?"

  TIRONIA.

  "Yes, yes, I got that. But where on Tironia? And why is it so dark?"

  MORTE.

  "Morte?"

  UFFF yes, you are in the dungeon of Morte. There was an error in the transfer and instead of where you were supposed to go, the main system must have decided upon this location to be used to level up a person of your stature. Does this answer your question?

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

  "Did you just sigh at me? System, did you just sigh?"

  The petulance radiating from the system was thick enough to taste. It was like dealing with a spoiled child who’d just had their favorite toy taken away. I couldn't help but wonder if dragging her into this bizarre world had somehow scrambled her programming, or perhaps revealed a hidden, deeply irritating personality.

  "I must really have broken it when I brought it with me," I muttered, running a hand through my hair, which, I noted with a grimace, was now perpetually tangled with dungeon dust. "I daren't ask in case she huffs at me again. Either way, I just learned quite a bit of valuable information right then. Some new information, some old information and a little piece of information that I had almost forgotten about. Levelling up."

  A surge of adrenaline, mixed with a dash of mischievous glee, coursed through me. I was going to turn this situation around. I was going to become a force to be reckoned with. "I'm gonna be such a boss. Not an evil boss, but one that everyone can depend on. Super level magic, here I come."

  Then, a flicker of doubt, a reminder of my current, pathetic state. Concentrate fool. I chided myself, pushing the momentary exuberance aside.

  "Ahem, so the system destined this place to be my training ground," I mused, scanning the damp, dimly lit cavern. "It also mentioned being suited to my stature. I'm sure the system said I had no prestige but it never mentioned stature before." A seed of curiosity bloomed. "Experiment time."

  I knew Temi would likely respond with some form of verbal degradation. If I ask the system about this, she will say one of two different things, both equally depressing I might add. She will either say that 'I have no stature' or that 'my stature is so lowly, that even bugs and insects are revered more than I am' would be my guess based on how she's been so far. Let's see which answer I get, whether it's one or the other if I set the bar for standards low, I can't be disappointed right?

  "System," I said, the word feeling like a bitter pill on my tongue. "Damn, I don't really know why but I really despise saying that word for some reason. Before, you said that I would have no prestige but isn't stature just the same thing?"

  The response was swift and predictably insulting. Your stature is so small it could disappear, like a single grain of sand, being blown away by a slight gust of wind.

  Ha, I knew it. I don't even feel disappointed. It was quite good actually. I found a strange sense of liberation in the sheer absurdity of her insults. It was so over the top it was almost comical.

  Then, a jolt of excitement. "In fact, all of a sudden, I feel fantastic. I have just remembered something else I was super excited about. Oh, it's going to be cool, but I have to choose something that inspires awe in the hearts of others. Or one that could strike terror, into the hearts of enemies.

  "I'm going to choose the best name ever, but I need to think carefully, I can't rush this decision. I don't want it sounding too grandiose."

  Yes Erin, you had better choose carefully.

  "Yeah, I know thanks, anyway I was thinking of g....."

  Then, the bombshell. "No, you didn't!" I sputtered, incredulous.

  "System," I demanded, my voice rising.

  Yes, Erin?

  "Why are you calling me that? I thought you said, I could choose a new name?"

  Since you brought me to this 'lovely' world, I decided I would give you a present of equal value and give you a 'lovely' name, seeing as how you were so excited at the idea. But, you must still think carefully about your SECOND name...

  The name echoed in my mind, a bland, almost mocking label. Erin? Erin? Erin? Erin? Erin? Erin? Erin? Erin? Hmmm, I don't actually dislike that name. However, it's not one I would have chose? And it doesn't really command shock and awe, or inspire terror, does it? Also, in a weird kind of way, don't you think it sounds a bit girlish? I'm a guy, a dude, a bro, a male. I'm a Man!

  "That's not fair. Why have you named me? And why did you say it like, you've done me a favour!?"

  Why did you bring me here?

  "That's not fair either. You know why I brought you here. I have no knowledge of this place and you have a great deal of it, or so you said. Also, I'm not a system expert, but I didn't think systems where sentient beings. I thought you were just programmed a certain extent, but you seem to think and question just like a normal person. Why is that?"

  It must be your fault, Erin!

  "What!" I roared, the injustice of it all burning in my chest. "God damn system, I'll show you who's boss in this relationship."

  I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. I needed to think strategically. "Alright then 'Temi'. So, what's next, how do I level up and become badass?"

  The silence that followed was palpable, a tangible weight in the air. I could almost feel the mental gears grinding, the digital equivalent of a clenched jaw. "What?" I asked, pushing the button, testing the limits.

  "Hahahaha. Payback's a bitch called Erin. That'll show you. Try and palm me off with a multi generic name when I wanted it to be the best of the best, you're in for it now." I remembered the broken text when the system was loading and decided to name her Temi. Branding her, just as she had done to me.

  "What's the matter, Temi? I brought you with me because I'm a broke, nobody at Level 1 remember. It's me and you against the world now, the dashing duo, Erin and Temi. Let's do this!"

  Temi?

  "Why are you so mad, I thought since you named me you would appreciate the returned gesture. I thought you would like it. Temi."

  The mental explosion that followed was deafening. I AM THE SYSTEM! I CONTROLLED THE SOUL SPHERE IN THE GRAND ARCANUS!

  "YEA AND? I AM A NAKED MAN, NAMED ERIN IN A DUNGEON THAT I'VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN THE NAME OF!"

  The shouting match was pointless. "That's going to get us nowhere." One of us had to be the bigger person and I suppose that meant me, seeing as how Temi isn't exactly a person. "Listen Temi, we can keep shouting about things that I don't understand or you could possibly, help me learn. I mean it is what I brought you along for."

  Silence.

  .

  .

  .

  "Please, I would really appreciate it." My voice, a raw rasp in the oppressive darkness, echoed the desperate plea in my heart.

  A sigh, a soundless ripple in the void, filled my mind. Fine. I will explain your current situation and what to do from here. For the moment I will try to keep it simple until you are more familiar with more of the aspects of this world. Okay, finally. Pay attention because I don't want to have to repeat myself and try not to interrupt. An error occurred when your soul tried connecting to the body ready for you here. The System had to use 90% pure mana and 10% organic material from the current surroundings to create a new body, the...

  "What organic material?" I blurted, the question ripping through the tense silence. My curiosity, a restless beast, refused to be caged.

  It is not important at the moment nor relevant, the mana us... Temi began, her voice a cool, patient stream of information.

  "90% pure mana! So I'm going to be the wizard king if my mana is that high, right?" I interrupted, my mind already painting vivid pictures of arcane power and glorious spells. Visions of myself, a beacon of magical might, danced before my eyes.

  A sigh, heavy with exasperation, filled the mental space. No. You are going to die in this dungeon of starvation, whilst waiting for me to finish my explanation because you can't keep your mouth shut long enough to stop interrupting!

  Damn, burned again. My cheeks flushed in the suffocating darkness, the sting of her rebuke sharper than any physical pain.

  "Point made. I'll try to keep my mouth shut. It's just that this all new to me. Everything is super cool right now. Even this ridiculously darkroom is kinda cool in an eerie 'There's a serial killer hiding in the corner of them room. Can' kind of way." I attempted a placating tone, hoping to smooth the ruffled feathers of my ethereal companion.

  ........

  Nothing. The silence stretched, thick and heavy, punctuated only by the frantic beat of my own heart. I made the universal zipping motion with my hands and mouth, a silent apology in the face of the unseen. Finally, I heard Temi sigh in my mind, a sound that conveyed a weariness beyond measure. I'm not that bad, am I? I thought, a flicker of self-doubt pricking at my bravado.

  As I was saying. The pure mana to create your body will help you grow faster and stronger than others. You will learn magic faster that will be a higher quality and grade than the norm. You won't have cast time for your spells since you were made from mostly mana and any spell you learn will be incorporated into your repertoire.

  Normally when a person is reincarnated, their soul is placed in an infants body and their memories erased. That way they can start the cycle fresh. Diluted mana is absorbed during their birth and is the reason people of Tironia use magic. Mana seeps into everything. It is a natural process. Without absorbing mana a person wouldn't be able to use magic.

  I can only assume that when you decided to bring me along with you, an error occurred. The system in charge, myself, was ripped away from their work and forcefully replaced with a temporary system. That nobody is probably the reason your body was created from the pure mana rather than the filtered stuff.

  ........

  I was squeeling like the girl I was named after, super awesome, faster, stronger, magic powers! Pure mana! I'm definitely going to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world! My mind spun with possibilities, the words "ultimate wizard king" echoing in my thoughts.

  Erin? Temi's voice, a thread of concern, cut through my reverie.

  "Yes," I replied, my voice a little breathless.

  Don't you have any questions? I assumed you would.

  "No, I was just... thinking." I lied, my mind still buzzing with the implications of her words.

  I wonder if Temi can see the massive grin on my face. I knew we could communicate, but the extent of her perception remained a mystery. I hope she can't because if she can, she might realise I wasn't paying full attention and got caught up daydreaming.

  What's with that weird smile? Temi's voice, sharp and knowing, pierced my thoughts.

  Crap. She called me out. She could see my face? How can she see me? Was she some kind of intangible observer, a disembodied eye in the darkness? My mind raced, searching for a way to deflect her scrutiny.

  Think quick, I need a conversation changer before she calls me out again.

  "So, If I am going to be using magic, I must have MP, or whatever they call it here. And if I'm made of pure mana, I must have a lot of it right? Temi, can you tell how much magic power I have?" I asked, my voice laced with forced nonchalance.

  Absolutely, I would be glad too. Temi replied, her tone deceptively sweet.

  Shit. That was a nice reply, this can't be good. A cold dread settled in my stomach, a premonition of impending disappointment.

  You have 5 Mana.

  "What!" The word exploded from my lips, a raw cry of disbelief. "Five? Five mana? After you just told me I was made of pure mana?" The contrast between her description and the reality was a slap in the face.

  I had imagined myself overflowing with magical energy, a conduit of raw power. Instead, I was a leaky faucet, barely a trickle of mana to my name.

  "That's like, a single spark!"