***

  I died.

  When I was dying, I had many expectations of the afterlife. Was I going to heaven or hell? Was I going to put into the wheel of reincarnation?

  There were much more that I had expected, but I certainly did not expect a naked genderless and faceless man blowing on a kazoo.

  "Congratulations mortal! You are the chosen one!" The man(?) said, in a cheerful tone.

  The chosen, what? ... Wait, did I just get ROB'd? Why?

  "Now then mortal, I shall reincarnate you into another world, with all your memories, of course!" The ROB exclaimed.

  This sounds like the plot of a crappy fanfiction. Can I get out of here, please? Anyone? Can anyone hear me?

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  "I'll also be giving you a cheat!" The ROB exclaimed, as a roulette wheel appeared out of nowhere besides it.

  The ROB spinned the wheel with it's hands, and the wheel finally stopped spinning after a few seconds.

  I read what cheat I would get.

  A noble phantasm? Am I going into the nasuverse? NOOO WAIT NOO BE POSITIVE CALM DOWN IM JUST GOING TO BE FINE! Deep breaths... Deep breaths. Well, I could just go abd leave Fuyuki if I would be reincarnated into the nasuverse.

  "Mmmm... You're in luck! You got a noble phantasm! Oh! What's this? You got Exkawibaa! You can also shoot saber beams with it!"

  Excalibur? Saber beams! No wait. I can't even use that shit. Plus, there's the dozen of seals placed on it. Welp, there goes me leaving the plot I guess.

  "I'll also give you Avalon."

  Oh fuck. Now my element and origin's gonna be replace into Sword. Rip me. Well, I could use that self-healing feature.

  "Goodbye then, mortal! By the way, I'm reincarnating you into the world of DxD! Have fun!" The ROB exclaimed, as a portal appeared below me, sucking me in.

  DXD?! THAT FUCKING EROGE? NO WAIT SPARE ME WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THI-?!

  ***