“The nerds are celebrating our progress and congratulating us. They say Big D is preparing for the final showdown,” David reports.

  “Did they ask about the army?” Wyn asks.

  “They did, but I ignored that part again.”

  “Don’t you think Maya and Anxiety will report back to them?” Mira wonders aloud.

  “Nah, as long as we finish our job,” David replies.

  Together, the team steps into the portal, gripping each other’s hands tightly. A mix of nervousness and excitement courses through them.

  “A playground?” Yu asks.

  The five find themselves inside a sprawling vibrant playground, filled with climbing animal statues and other play equipment one might expect in a typical park. Atop the head of a towering giraffe statue sits a child, no older than five, who is perched casually on the back of what appears to be a massive cockroach.

  As the roach spreads its wings and takes flight toward the group, more creatures emerge from behind the giraffe’s neck. Four dogs leap down to the ground – two on the right and two on the left – each pair consisting of one dog balanced atop the other.

  “What should I even ask about first?” Yu wonders aloud, torn between the sight of dogs riding other dogs, the giant roach, or the kid with two heads – each head the size of a rugby ball, tilting against each other as if trying to find balance.

  “Hey! A ridgeback and a bangkaew! Fancy seeing these breeds here!” Wyn exclaims.

  “Hell-o, Hell-lings! My name is Stu, and this here is my twin, Vee,” the kid casually introduces himself and his conjoined sibling.

  “Isn’t Vee a girl’s name, Mister Baby?” Lisa asks.

  “‘Baby’? I’m smarter than most here! Show some respect!” Stu snaps, his tone indignant. “I identify Vee as my sister. Got a problem with that? Vee is special. She can’t talk...I don’t even think there’s a brain in that big head.”

  “You’re just a baby with a big mouth!” Mira retorts sharply.

  Stu freezes, noticing Mira clearly for the first time. His wide eyes trace her figure, lingering.

  “Hey, girl. The one with boobs, not the flat one. You want sum fuk?” he blurts out with a shameless grin.

  Mira’s expression hardens. “I know it’s not illegal here, but I’d rather not. After James’ passing, I’ve lost all urges.” Her voice is low, her eyes clouded with sadness.

  “You two were close. Like you were really dating,” Wyn says, his tone serious.

  “Yeah, you could say that…,” Mira replies softly, her gaze dropping.

  “Seesh, lady, I just wanted to bang you, not hear your sob story,” Stu scoffs, rolling his eyes.

  “If this little son of a bitch turns on us, let me personally take him out!” Mira snaps.

  “We should call him STFU,” Wyn adds with a smirk.

  As it turns out, the dogs are there to provide Stu and Vee with a sense of security – though they’re likely no match for the five standing before them. The smaller dogs, a pomeranian and a shih tzu, are perched on top of the larger ones because they’re too small to walk long distances on their own. To Wyn, none of this makes any sense. Despite his excitement at seeing the Tide dogs up close, his eyes keep darting back to the giant roach.

  “You wanna eat Mama Roach? No chance!” Stu declares, his voice defensive.

  “Eat???” Yu echoes, his curiosity piqued.

  “Help meee…they eat ma behbies,” the roach says in a guttural voice, somehow speaking.

  “What the mother of unholy fucked fish is this?” Wyn exclaims, recoiling in disbelief.

  The roach’s unusually large size remains unexplained, but it’s clear she’s been left on the floor for “snacks,” as her babies are considered “crunchy treats” for the kids.

  “Did you say kids?” David interjects. “Have you seen my children?”

  The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

  The sixth level of Heaven is reserved for children who died young, below the age of nineteen. Light Force, eager to demonstrate his affection for children and use it as a way to endear himself to his creation, initially allowed them into the seventh level. However, he quickly found their presence annoying and relegated them to this level instead, where they could be cared for separately.

  Stu listens as David describes his missing children but shakes his head. “Doesn’t ring a bell,” he says. However, the pomeranian barks energetically, seeming to communicate something to Stu.

  After a moment, Stu summarizes what the dog conveyed. “There were two kids of unknown gender taken by archangels,” he says.

  David’s shoulders slump in frustration. “That’s it? No other details?”

  The pomeranian wags its tail but has no further information to offer.

  “Okay…that’s that…Now, can we address the cockroach in the room? HOW can it talk, but not the dogs?” Wyn asks.

  On this level, the kids have learned to understand dogs, having been surrounded by them for so long. As for human language, the older kids – mostly teenagers – teach the younger ones to speak. Some animals have retained the ability to talk, as this place was once a magical land filled with singing animals and talking trees. Unfortunately, dogs weren’t part of that.

  “There’s also a green owl that can speak and teach us to talk,” Stu adds.

  Stu leads the team on a stroll, seemingly trying to buy time. Wyn, not trusting him, decides to summon Torture into the level before they follow. The towering executioner, despite his mask lacking eye holes and his massive size, keeps pace and doesn’t lose his way.

  They step forward, and without any clear barrier or transition, the landscape abruptly shifts to a snow-covered area where a handful of small dogs are dressed as elves, and a real Santa is punishing naughty kids, their hands tied behind their backs as they sit in rows, forcing coal into their mouths.

  “Wait…This isn’t snow,” David says, squinting. “It’s coke! Not that I’ve ever tried it, but I’ve been to jail, you know?”

  “No one’s judging you, David,” Wyn replies with a playful smirk, glancing at him.

  Santa, with no concept of time, sometimes rides a sleigh pulled by larger dogs dressed as reindeer to deliver toys to the children across the level. He receives reports from dogs in other areas to keep track of the nice and naughty list.

  Mira and Lisa try the “snow” for the first time. It seems to have little effect on adults.

  “You have yellow snow?” Wyn asks playfully.

  “Yes! Santa feeds naughty kids mustard-flavored snow when he runs out of coal,” Stu replies.

  “That’s…not what I meant.”

  Past the snow-filled terrain, the group steps onto a wide path lined with cages, each containing kids and dogs. Stu taunts them as he walks past, explaining to the Hell souls that annoying kids are kept in cages alongside pitbulls and rottweilers, who have a reputation for attacking children.

  “You kids are hardcore,” Wyn observes.

  “You think?” Stu replies with a smirk. “We’ve got a basement beneath this place, as wide as the path, where we keep mixed kids and dogs. We hate them.”

  “...I’m at a loss for words,” Wyn mutters.

  “You speak for all of us, Wyn,” David echoes, his eyes still scanning the area for his children, though hopelessness lingers in the vast expanse.

  “We’re kids, what did you expect? We can be barbaric without guidance from adults. We genuinely believe that Earth isn’t in space, but is actually a giant dog’s ball, and that Heaven and Hell are the other ball,” Stu adds.

  The Hell souls fall silent, their disbelief palpable. They exchange glances, shaking their heads and shrugging as they follow the giant cockroach.

  They soon arrive at a stadium with a track and field, but without walls or seats – seamlessly blending into the previous path like the rest of the area. Kids dressed in drag race to finish first, a competition inspired by one of the younger and newer kids who learned about drag queens at school. The field itself serves as a place where kids settle their differences, usually through force.

  The next area is the zoo, where kids learn to speak, and most of the talking animals are confined here, despite the lack of barricades. The zoo itself is the remaining part of the magical land, preserved specifically for the animals. The team is fortunate enough to witness a green owl shooting laser beams from its eyes at its students in anger. The students appear fine, though burn marks mar their bodies. Just before they move on to the next area, they come across a path lined with two wooden houses on either side.

  “This is where they keep ma behbies. Save them!” the roach pleads, only to get smacked in the head by Stu in response.

  As the group walks past the houses, they hear cheers, laughter, and ominous crunching sounds from within. They shiver at the noises, quickening their pace, only to come to a stop in front of an oddly placed doghouse.

  “Scoobiskibididoo! Where are you?” Stu calls out.

  A brown Great Dane with black patches comes dashing forward, its tongue hanging out, panting in excitement.

  “Take us to the Giant Vizsla, please,” Stu commands.

  The dog howls, and with the sound, what was once a theme park behind the dog house transforms into a mountain. They now stand on vast red ground, which appears to be made of dog hair. With another howl, the ground shakes, and the team is lifted to the top of the mountain.

  “Skibididoo!” the Great Dane says, thanking the gigantic red dog – much larger than Torture – for helping them reach the top.

  “Is this the effect of the snow? What am I seeing here? Am I hallucinating? Am I real?” Mira presses.

  “This is not cake! We didn’t taste the snow, and yet we’re just as confused as you,” Yu responds.

  While the Hell souls scratch their heads in confusion, Stu leads them further along the flat mountain top. At the far end, a menacing throne looms, with a fierce figure seated upon it, staring at them from afar.

  “This is our guardian,” Stu says, pausing along with the dogs, allowing the team to approach the figure.

  “I’m NOT on drugs. I’m NOT on drugs!” Wyn exclaims, rubbing his eyes in disbelief. “That’s Harambe!”