I stabbed my shovel into the ground. The overcast skies lied, they suggested a cool temperature but the mugginess was oppressive. I looked at my watch, 0700. I yawned, nearly done. I picked up the shovel again and dug for another few minutes.

  “Sergeant Rorke!” I poked my head up. “Sergeant Tanen wants to see you.” It was one of the new soldiers assigned to us after the battle down the track.

  I made my way to the tactical operations center in the rear and, pushing the fp aside, I entered.

  “Sergeant Tanen, Sergeant Rorke reporting.” I said. “Congratutions on getting the promotion to sergeant first css by the way. I’m so excited for you!”

  He smiled. “Welcome, Sergeant Rorke. It's been a while and I’m so happy to see you again.” He looked me over. “Wow, look at you! You are coming along so well already. Whatever they gave you, it is really potent.”

  “I know, sometimes when I look into the mirror I can almost see ‘her’, you know what I mean?”

  “I absolutely get it.” He smiled. “Moving on, we need to talk about our defenses. Our soldiers have been assigned this area,” he pointed at the map, the ridge I had just been on. “What's the status of our trenches?”

  “Nearly done, we need to finish the comms trenches on the east side here, and we are installing another machine gun pit here to cover the area that these two couldn’t hit.”

  “I like the initiative, well done Sergeant.” He cpped me on the shoulder.

  “How are you two gentlemen doing?” Leutnant Petrikov asked. “Percival,” he said with a sneer.

  I resisted the urge to sp him. “You know that is not my name, sir. Also, this is the military, we use st names here.”

  His grin was wide and rather unsettling. He took out a piece of paper. “This is your enlistment record, right here, see? Percival Meade Rorke.” He cackled.

  “Leutnant!” Captain Neider said. “You will cease disrespecting our soldiers immediately. Furthermore, you will listen to the sergeant’s corrective training, without fail, or I will deal with you myself. You do not want that.” He pointed at me. “You will have him fix his behavior in a way that seems right to you.”

  “I am a Leutnant, Captain!” He protested. “The men can’t see me taking orders from a mere sergeant.”

  Captain Neider stood an inch from the new leutnant, he whispered loud enough for us to hear. “Don’t fuck up or I’ll take your rank. You won’t have an excuse then. Do you understand me, Petrikov?”

  “Yes, sir!” He huffed out of the tent.

  “I can’t believe anyone bought any of the korvy propaganda.” Neider shook his head. “If anyone gives you shit, let me know, Sergeant Rorke.”

  “Will do, sir.” It felt great to be defended from that harassment.

  “What's the report from the front?” Neider asked.

  “The trenches are ninety percent complete. There are no signs from the enemy trenches they are pnning to attack, sir.”

  “Good, keep building those trenches. Sergeant Tanen, I want you to help with supervising the final construction. As soon as those are completed, we are trading positions with another company. Let's get it done and get it done right.” Neider replied.

  “Yes, sir.” Tanen saluted. “Come on, Rorke, we are going to fix up those trenches nice and proper.”

  “I’ll be along when the rest of these meetings are over and we get that khaveni Captain. See you two soon.”

  We left the tent and got in a transport vehicle and made our way nearer to the front.

  “How are you doing, Rorke?” Tanen asked me.

  “I am sad that Leutnant Petrikov seems to hate my existence.” I shook my head but smiled. “I want to thank you, by the way, Sergeant Tanen. I had hoped a little that I would die on that track. As much as I love Kenny, her love was not enough to keep me from the dark thoughts and the void. It was with your information and encouragement that I was able to find myself and now I want to fight for my life to the st.”

  “Is it ok if I give you a hug, Sergeant Rorke?” I nodded, and he embraced me. “I’m gd you have found the strength to keep going. I appreciate your thanks, but it was you that found your power within. All I did was show you that you could live a different way.”

  “Sure, I made the st step, but I wouldn’t have known had you not said anything. I’m thankful that you recognized the signs in me and I am thankful that you told me about that website. That is what I’m saying thank you for.”

  The driver stopped and we were left to walk the rest of the way. We entered the communications trenches and walked past the artillery line before we got into the trenches. We made our way past the support trench before finally picking up shovels and entering the front line trench system. We got to digging out one of the machine gun nests.

  The air was humid and oppressive as we worked and the sun baked us as we exerted. Tanen took his shirt off. I was shocked to see his scars.

  “Oh wow, Sergeant, how did you get those scars?”

  He looked down at his chest as he touched them, then back up at me. “Oh! You don’t know! Ok, well I was surfing in Arica on the Burgandy coast when this shark came up and bit just these spots on my chest.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m not stupid, you know. I know when I’m being fed a load of shit.”

  “I had small breasts that developed, despite me being on T for a while. I had the tissue removed, they are the scars from that surgery.” He shrugged.

  “I hadn’t even considered…” There was still so much I had to learn about how other people are trans. “Yeah, that totally makes sense, now that you say it. I’m surprised they didn’t remove the scars.”

  “I asked them not to. I have seen so many pictures of men from back in the day with these scars. I felt a bit sentimental for that time and I felt like keeping the scars and in a little way carrying their memories forward, you know?”

  I smiled wide. “That is so cute! Thanks for sharing that with me.”

  “Welcome to Gondwana, Captain.” General Gomel said. “This is Captain Neider. He will be your liaison at the front for now.”

  The man smiled at me. “Hello Captain! Nice to meet you,” he stuck his hand out, I was ready! I grasped his hand and shook it, like the humans liked to do. It had been such an odd thing for them to do at first, but now it was almost ordinary.

  “Hello Captain Neider, I’m Captain Torkona Gezzini, proud leader of the NachtHexen.” I said as I retracted my hand. “I’m excited to work with you.”

  We left the tent and got into a manual driver.

  “So what brings you to Gondwana?” Captain Neider asked.

  “I never meant to come here,” I said simply. I could see the question written on his face. “My fighter crashed into the pnet after I sustained a decent amount of damage. I nearly died but made it through with some skill and no small amount of luck.”

  “Why not go back up to the ship now? Surely one of your ships could come pick you up?”

  “There was no time, with the transporter blocker, I couldn’t get up there and they recovered my flight and chased the fleet too quickly to send a ship to come down for me.”

  “They are trying to hit Laurasia too huh?”

  “I don’t know, I talked to my supervisor and all he said was they were moving quickly and they would come back for me ter.” I stretched. “Since I’m not doing anything else, I figured I might as well see how the ground forces fight.”

  “I won’t lie, it’s been pretty brutal.” His face seemed to darken. “The close up combat, fighting the enemy and the elements. My energy after some days is nil. What can you do under those circumstances besides push on though? Sit down and die?” He shook his head.

  “Sounds rough.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. “What is the idea of keeping them bottled up and not attacking the korveinian lines to eliminate them?”

  He nodded. “That is so we can weaken them through attrition. We can supply ourselves on the ground easily enough but, as you know, their ships can’t resupply them at the moment. We keep them here, they run out of what they brought and slowly starve and weaken themselves.”

  “Oh so you save your own people's lives while ensuring you win. I see now.” We stopped and left the manual driver. We made our way through the trenches to the front.

  “I hope it’s not too cramped for you.” Neider said as we zagged after finishing zigging.

  I was taken aback. “I drive a fighter in open space, sure, but the cockpit of those vehicles are very cramped. These trenches are spacious in comparison.”

  “Sir, we need another machine gun, one of the ones we have now is missing its spring.” A man with the rank leutnant said.

  “Get a spring then.” Neider responded. “We were trained on how to use and maintain these weapons. I am going to need you to figure it out, Petrikov.”

  “What is the point of a weapon that is missing a piece? It's useless and not fit for purpose.” He sneered. “I already threw it into no man's nd anyway. We need a new one.”

  “You tossed your issued equipment into a dangerous pce rather than fix it?” I asked in disbelief. “What is wrong with you? Are you a fool?”

  He turned on me quickly. “That’s leutnant to you…” he looked at my rank and name and his eyes grew wide. “Ma’am, I um, excuse me, I didn’t realize…”

  “Of course you didn’t realize, you are a fool and don’t think ahead about what you are doing.” I crossed my arms then looked at Neider. “May I suggest something, captain?”

  He smiled wide. “Please take a turn with my fauxillery, or as I like to call him, my personal punching bag.”

  “Fauxillery?” I asked.

  “A rebellious subordinate.” He expined.

  “Oh, I understand. Zugsamnir.” I looked back at Petrikov. “You will retrieve that gun tonight, by yourself, and you will repair it to proper working order and if it breaks before the battle is done, I will leave your punishment to your own captain.”

  “That is a thoughtful and considered punishment, well done, Captain Gezzini.” Neider patted me on the shoulder.

  Petrikov’s face darkened. His face screwed up at the displeasure. “Yes, ma’am. I will surely follow your order as if it came from my own captain.”

  “Come, I want you to meet two of my best NCOs, Staff Sergeant Rorke and Sergeant First Css Tanen.” We continued to walk, leaving Petrikov to stew and rage on his own.

  We came to the front line trenches, near an under construction jutty outty bit.

  “What is this?” I asked about the forward trench of front line trenches.

  “A forward listening post.” Someone with a sergeant second css rank said. “We will use it to spy on the enemy a little, once it is complete.” The person of ambiguous gender stuck their hand out, another shaker. I accepted their challenge and shook. “I’m Sergeant Rorke, you must be Captain Gezzini. You are looking fine for someone who fell from outside the atmosphere.”

  I smiled. “Thanks to some luck and quick thinking, I am still alive. I’m sure those ethereals thought they would get me, but here I am still kicking around.”

  “Ethereals? What do you mean? What is that?” Rorke asked.

  “The white light beings that hover near people that are about to die. The khaveni just call them ethereals. We have known about them for thousands of years.”

  “The choosers of the dead?” Rorke seemed surprised. “It sounds like you are talking about valkyries. On earth, they are a norse myth. Not real.”

  “I assure you, sergeant, they are quite real. Rarely are some people able to see them, like me. I try to save my women as best I can when we battle.” I looked up at the streaking across the sky, ethereal. I crouched on the edge of the unfinished trench to peek over the edge. “Captain, your punching bag is out there, he is going for the gun.”

  Captain Neider joined me quickly. “That fucking moron. How did you know?”

  “I saw a valkyrie streak down here. Give me a rifle, I will try to keep him safe.” I looked at them. “I should try to keep him safe, yes?”

  I fired at the enemy trenches. Several other people along the lines fired some shots too. Shots from the other side began ringing out too. Petrikov was hit in the leg while hulling the weapon back, he fell to the ground.

  “That idiot.” Neider whispered.

  I didn’t think about it too much. I jumped out of the trench and ran to him. I pushed the gun away and dragged him back to our lines. Several times an ethereal came close but I dove to the ground and they would retreat again. I rolled him into the trench and fell in on top of him.

  “You are dumber than dumb.” I said as I dragged myself off of him. “Don’t expect me to do that again. Also I told you to retrieve it at night.” I kicked his injured leg, he screamed out in pain. “Cry more, please.”

  Captain Neider, Rorke and some others appeared near us as I stood over him.

  After the fiasco of trying to retrieve the machine gun, Petrikov was taken to the rear for medical treatment. We just need to continue to work on the trench system until it is fully complete. Then, we would just need to hold until the korveinians surrendered or starved.

  One morning we were called to the HQ bunker. Leutnant Kornel Mbinke stood at the head of the table. “Captain, what is happening here? I see you have done well with the trenches but I find there is much discord in your command. One of your leutnants is vehemently against one of your NCOs as well that officer is sexually harassing some of your soldiers.”

  “He is doing what to my soldiers?” Captain Neider looked shocked, his face quickly turned to disgust. “I had very little respect for that man before but now.” He shook his head. “Sir, I recommend that he be demoted to enlisted ranks, a private.” He smmed his fist on the table. “If I had known this sooner I would have made that recommendation before, sir.”

  “That leaves me to question why your soldiers are not coming to you with this information.” He spread his arms to encompass the room. “That is a criticism of all of you. I assume none of you knew about that either.” Silence. “I have to say I’m very disappointed in this outfit, Captain. You need to get the trust of your soldiers or you’re out. Understood?”

  We all meekly replied “Akno.” At different times.

  “The rest of you leave, I need to speak with Captain Neider privately.” We all quickly filed out of the room.

  “You look like a puppy who was just punched in the face.” Tanen said to me. I looked at him.

  “I could say the same to you, Sergeant. That son of a bitch, Petrikov!” I spat. “He was always an asshole to me because I’m too clocky. Was he ever an asshole to you?”

  “No but I’ve been medical for years at this point. He could never tell with me, unless he knew what these scars are.” He patted his chest.

  “What about the people he is sexually harassing?” I asked. “I think we should show some initiative by investigating on our own and bringing what we find to Captain Neider.”

  He cpped me on the shoulder. “Fantastic idea, we should go talk to some of the soldiers,they talk to each other more than us. I think we can suss this out nice and quick.”

  Captain Neider and Kornel Mbinke walked out of the trench HQ, Neider looked ghostly white.

  “Sir,” Tanen said. “Are you going to be ok?” He nodded absent mindedly. “We were just talking, Sergeant Rorke and I have decided to investigate what the Kornel was talking about in there. We are going to talk to the soldiers to figure out what Leutnant Petrikov has done.”

  His color returned some. “Good, good. I have been treating him as a necessary annoyance. I thought he was generally harmless but the rot is deeper than I realized. I need evidence so we can knock him down, permanently.”

  “He is clearly not good at soldiering, as we saw by his daylight attempt to retrieve the machine gun, and now we find out he is attacking our own soldiers. This is a serious situation and we need to prove the truth of the matter and take appropriate actions, sir.” I suggested.

  He hugged us both in turn. “I knew I could trust both of you to do the right thing. I’m proud to serve with both of you, now do what needs doing. He is coming back to the trenches tomorrow, his wounds were not as bad as they seemed. I want this done quickly and correctly.”

  Dismissed, we went to talk to the troops. Quickly we learned he had targeted two of the women directly, one was in the rear working on her promotion csses and the other was another veteran of the Worgl Track campaign. We surmised it must have been the promoted woman who blew the whistle on his actions.

  We talked to the one who was close, she was eating a ration pack in the mess. Several other soldiers were sitting around. Some pying cards, others eating, too many people around to confront her here.

  We approached her. “Private Yuki Tanaka.” I said she looked up at me and swallowed the food in her mouth. “Come with us to the HQ please, you can bring your food with you.”

  She nodded and gathered her meal. We quickly made our way to the HQ. She stopped before entering.

  “Come on in, private.” Tanen waved to her. She shook her head, refusing.

  I snapped my finger. “You can bring someone in with you, we will be talking about some intense things, so make sure you don't mind that other person listening, ok?”

  She smiled a little. She came back quickly with a squat muscled man who looked simir to her. “My cousin.” She offered.

  We closed the door. “We understand that you may have had a negative encounter with Leutnant Petrikov.” She bobbed her head. “Can you tell us what happened? You can skip the gory details. Just a broad overview is fine.” Tanen asked.

  “I was sleeping in my cot shortly after we had the barracks dug out.” She was almost whispering, we both leaned in closer. “I woke up and saw he was standing over me, then I felt his hand on my breast. I rolled out of my cot to get away from him. He told me to stand at attention or there would be,” she started crying. I handed her some tissues.

  “It’s ok, take your time.” Her cousin gave her a hug.

  “He raped her.” The cousin scowled. “Then told her he would do more bad things to her if she ever told anyone. She confided in me and I started to study him, I’ll be honest.” He bared his teeth. “He gets very annoyed when things aren’t as they should be. I confess, I removed a spring from one of the machine guns when he was making the rounds. My pn was to piss him off in little ways over and over. Just torture him some.”

  “He ended up throwing that into no man’s nd and it eventually got him shot.” I said. “Not that I’m defending him or condemning your actions, just saying what happened. Although, I will ask that you not mess with critical equipment like that.”

  He nodded. “Yes, Sergeant.” She was still sobbing into his shoulder. “He hurt one of my best friends in this universe. I needed to see him punished or driven mad and I wanted to respect Yuki’s wishes and privacy.”

  I let out a big sigh. “He has not done anything so egregious to me but he has been harassing toward me. I want to assure you we will do all we can to make him pay for his wrong doings. That is my promise.”

  “He is not fit for purpose. He is supposed to lead but he has decided to use his power in very negative ways.” Tanen stood. “Thank you for sharing, we will deal with this situation with the gravity it deserves. You did not deserve what happened to you and it is not your fault, Private Tanaka. Come on, Rorke, we need to talk to the Captain.”

  “Wait,” she said before we left the room. “He said everyone in leadership knew and approved what he was doing.” Her head hung down, she looked like she was ashamed. “That is why I didn’t come to anyone who might do anything about it. I shouldn’t have believed him.”

  “That isn’t your fault either. The truth is out now though and we will do something about him now.” I nodded my agreement and we left the HQ only to run right into Leutnant Petrikov.

  He scowled at me and tried to push past us to get into the HQ. Tanen put his arm up to block him. “Leutnant, how are you? I heard you were leaving the hospital tomorrow. Should you be here?”

  “I’m fine.” He said ftly. “Don’t block me, I need to talk to the captain about something.”

  “Ah, well then, allow me to inform you that Captain Neider is not in the HQ right now.”

  He looked up sharply. “Very good, do you know where he is, Sergeant Tanen?”

  “Last I saw, he was touring the trenches with Leutnant Kornel Mbinke.” He pointed to the east, “I saw them go that way, but it was several minutes ago.”

  He gnced at me and sneered. “I’ll be going that way then to see if I can find him. Take this gross tranny with you before I hurt it.” He shoulder checked me, I started to square up against him but Tanen grabbed my arm quickly. I looked at him and he shook his head.

  When Petrikov was out of ear shot he let me go. “I am so fucking sick of that guy.” I yell-whispered. “I am going to do everyone in this company a favor.”

  “Don’t go punching him, we have a good case against him so far. No need to muddy that with a battery against him. Come on, we should have something to eat, I’m hungry.”

  My stomach growled at the mention of food, how long had it been since I ate st? “Yeah, sure. Let's go have some food. I just meant I will do what I can to show the truth of his awful actions and have his ass. I don’t want to punch him, that’s a lie. I do want to punch him but I want justice for his victims first and foremost.”

  We ate, it was a simple meal of rations. I used the water heater to make the meat warm and used the rest of my water to mix with the grape powder, it was ambrosia. The potatoes were mashed and fine. I did very much enjoy the blueberry cobbler though.

  I stood and stretched and let out a loud yawn. “I think I need to go have a nap. I’ve been awake for,” I checked my page. “Seventeen hours? Yeah, bed time.”

  “Ok then, we will regroup tomorrow, I’ll see you ter, Rorke. Good night.”

  I walked to the the women’s bunk room where my things were stored. Private Tanaka was standing outside, she was shaking, I ran up to her. “Tanaka, are you ok? What happened? What’s wrong?”

  She pointed to the door. “Petrikov.” She squeaked.

  I rushed into the room and saw him hold someone down on a cot, his pants were down and there was tape over the woman’s mouth. It was Captain Gezzini. My ire rose to such a great height, I lost control of myself and ran forward and punched him. He toppled off her and fell to the ground. He struggled to get to his feet, tripping over his pants. I covered Captain Gezzini and ripped the tape off of her mouth.

  “How absolutely fucking dare you, Petrikov.” I finally got out. “You are done here. I saw what you were doing and I will have your asshole for this.”

  “You son of a bitch!” He countered. “We were just having a little consensual fun time, thats all. How dare you assault an officer like this!”

  I froze. I assumed. He might be telling the truth. Shit. Fuck. Persephone dammit, you acted before you thought.

  “That’s a goddamn lie!” The visiting captain rounded on him, her pants back on now. She brought blow after blow down on his head. “I would never have sex with a man, you sick pervert! You are a rapist!”

  “He lied? I shouldn’t be surprised by that, I suppose.” I went back to the door and poked my head out. “Tanaka, go get Sergeant Tanen or Captain Neider for me, please.” She ran off quickly after bobbing her head. I came back into the room.

  “Don’t get me wrong,” Gezzini said, “I am happy you came in here, but what are you doing here?” She came to stand near me, as Pertrikov stood.

  I pointed at my cot. “That is my bed right there. I sleep here with the other women, ma’am. Is that a problem?”

  She flinched. “I’m sorry, I just… you don’t look or sound like a human woman, is all. ”

  I smiled at her. Moving beyond the twinge of pain I felt. “I know the history of your people a little,” I remarked, “your people would call me Prak. In my people’s parnce, I was assigned male at birth but because I identify with femininity more than with masculinity, I am a trans gender woman.”

  “You are sick! There are only two genders and you can’t switch, you have to live your biological reality. Live real truth! You are sick and need to be forced to accept your male identity, you sick fucking faggot!” Petrikov screamed shrilly.

  Captain Neider, Sergeant Tanen and Tanaka entered the room. “What is happening here?” Captain Neider asked. “Tanaka said it was urgent.”

  “They grabbed me and forced me in here,” he pointed accusingly at me. “Then he tried to rape me with his penis!”

  Neider narrowed his eyes on Petrikov. He stepped forward. “Sergeant Rorke sent Tanaka for me, why would she send her for me if she were the one doing the wrong thing here, Petrikov. That doesn’t make sense.”

  “Sir,” Tanaka spoke out. “Leutnant Petrikov was in here before Sergeant Rorke arrived. He was,” she froze. “He…he,” tears started streaming down her face, Captain Gezzini embraced her as she began to sob too.

  “He was doing the same thing to Captain Gezzini as he did to Private Tananka.” I said. “He was the one raping, has been and tried to in the past to the soldiers of our company. He has done things that are unforgivable, sir.”

  Neider’s gaze snapped to Petrikov once more. “Ok, Petrikov, along with what I’ve heard here and according to what Kornel Mbinke said I can only conclude that you are this disturbed individual and should not be in a position of leadership. On the authority of the Gondwana Defense Forces I am stripping you of the rank of Leutnant and stripping you of your commision. You are now a private.”

  Petrikov leapt forward onto the cot, he had a wild look in his eyes. “You don’t have the authority to do that, Neider! I know how things work in this military well enough to know that, fag lover!” He bared his teeth at me. “I’ll kill you for your snder, faggot!”

  Neider turned from him. “Sergeant Tanen, I have this order giving me authority to strip an officer of rank and commision. Petrikov is the only officer eligible named in the order. Please verify.”

  “The order seems in order, sir.”

  “Take him to the rear for confinement. We have no need for him or his force sapping activities. I don’t want to see him ever again.”

  Suddenly Petrikov leapt from the cot, knife in hand. I stepped back to avoid the blow, but it managed to slip in above my breast. The pain was sharp and burning. Neider and Tanen wrestled Petrikov to the ground. Gezzini and Tanaka helped me to the ground. Gezzini grabbed the handle of the knife. Tanaka grabbed her hand.

  “No Captain, you have to leave that in.” She trailed off in her shy voice.

  “She is right,” I managed through gritted teeth. “It will bleed more and I could die more quickly. Please leave it.” She took her hand off the handle.

  “I need to finish that thing off! Get off of me. Get off! The freak must die.” They dragged him out of the room. I could only hear my haggard breathing.

  I looked at Tanaka. “Please get me to the casualty clearing station.”

  “I’ll go get some people to help and a stretcher.” I nodded at her and she ran off.

  “Prakh.” Captain Gezzini said. I looked at her, questioningly. “You said earlier that you were what my people would call prak, the word you meant is Prakh. Prak is a sort of soup with a mix of veggies. Prakh is what your people would call a trans gender person.” She began petting my head.

  “Tell me about your life, how did you end up here at this pce? Please, until Tanaka returns.” I coughed, the pain was intense but manageable if I could take my mind off of it somehow.

  “Sure, sure. I was born on Khavenia and was pressed into service as a fighter pilot when the Korveinians did their year sixteen test. I wanted to be an artist. I still very much enjoy painting. Anyway, I was in training for four years before I was assigned what was then the support carrier Patinate where we mostly fought against pirates. I managed to impress some people and was given command of the NachtHexen. From there, the war began and I was finally able to live my life and fuck women. Then, I crashed into this pnet and met you.”

  Tanaka came into the room. Both helped me to stand, we walked out of the women’s bunkroom and I id down on the stretcher. Four soldiers picked me up and I started my journey to the casualty clearing station.

  I sat alone in the bunkroom. With the horror over, I began to feel dirty about what that sick man did to me, what he had done to other women, too. Poor tiny Tanaka. I grabbed some extra clothes and made my way to the showers to get his stink off of me.

  At least he was gone. At least I wouldn’t see him again. I thought about pulling him back to the trenches when he stupidly went for the gun and regretted saving him, it would have spared me a lot of hurt now. I felt it was right at the time and probably would have regretted not saving him. Damned it I do and damned if I don’t. It was making me crazy, I just tried to push it out of my mind. What is done is done and there was no changing any of it.

  I came to the washing tents. I quickly checked to see if anyone was around. Seeing no one, I began washing myself. I heard someone come in and I rushed to finish as quickly as possible before bursting out of the tent, hair drenched and clothes wet in blotches.

  Danger. I felt in danger. I could put myself near death and be fine but I couldn’t take a shower with nothing going on? What is wrong with me? Trauma. Near death didn’t matter because I knew I was ok, no ethereal came close enough. I knew it. They could not help me save myself from non-lethal danger though or warn me when some was coming.

  I re-entered the women’s bunk room. Tanaka was asleep in her cot as were several other women. I left and went to the cot in the HQ and slept there for the night.

  I woke up with a start. I stared at Neider, he looked back at me, a look of surprise washed over his face. I tossed off my bnket and sat up.

  “You scared me.” He said with a heavy sigh, his hand went to his chest, the pce where humans kept their heart. “Listen, I am sorry for what you have had to endure while with us Captain. We have not shown you our best self. I hope that you can one day forgive humans.” He took a drink of a bottle that had some clear liquid in it. “You should have been safe here with us, as much as you can in a war zone anyway. That is on me, this is my area of responsibility and it was my fauxilry that attacked you.”

  “I do not bme you nor other humans, except Petrikov. He was the one who committed the wrong act against me.” I replied. I felt a bit annoyed having to assuage his guilt since I was the one aggrieved. It was little comfort to know that they felt bad for what had happened. “What are you drinking? Is it some kind of alcohol?”

  He offered the bottle. “There is a fruit on this pnet kind of like a mango, if you know what that is. We have made this hooch from it. It tastes deliciously fruity too.”

  “Deliciously fruity? Just like me.” I said after taking a big swig of the burning liquid.

  Neider burst out ughing. “What did you just say? I must say I wasn’t expecting to hear that just now.”

  “I love women.” I said simply. I took another pull from the bottle. “I killed a Korveinian. Stabbed him right in the gut. He was our Political. He tried to attack me for being a lesbian. I’m gd he is dead and I would kill him again. Those damn korveinians have repressed me my entire life. And and.” I started to cry as I drank more. “He tried to set me up with some men. My skin crawled at the thought of it and now this man came and forced himself on me.”

  He nodded. “I’ll be back in a moment.” I wiped my eyes of tears and buttoned my blouse. Rorke entered followed by Neider shortly behind her, she was rubbing her eyes. “Do you need a hug, Captain Gezzini?”

  I burst out ughing! “Oh you woke Sergeant Rorke up for that? That is very kind and thoughtful of you, but please, let her go back to bed.”

  “I’m here for hugs if you need, Captain.” Rorke said sleepily. She yawned then gave a little salute.

  I motioned her closer. She sat on the cot and we embraced. “Thank you, Miss Rorke.” I gave her a peck on the cheek, she was so warm and soft. She stopped Petrikov from continuing his vile act too. I felt very endeared to this woman. I started rubbing her back with my hand. She tried to pull away. I clung a little and she rexed for a while longer then attempted to detach once more.

  “Ok, Captain, I would like to stop now please.” I let go and she stood. She was a very pretty woman. “Sir, may I be excused, now?”

  Neider nodded. “You are dismissed, sergeant.”

  “I want to get to know her better. She is an intriguing person.” I could hear my speech starting to slur.

  “In a romantic way?” He took the bottle back and took a long pull. I nodded. “She might go for that I don’t know. I know she has been in a long term retionship with a human woman in another company. The one that is relieving us once these trenches are complete.”

  I sat up listening intently. “Too bad. She had a great butt too. Human bodies look pretty good, you know I had sex with some human women in the fleet.”

  “And on that note, I am heading to bed. Good night, Miss Gezzini.” He left and I fell back into the cot. My mind danced with ideas of snuggling next to that pretty Prakh woman. I thought about fighting her girlfriend to take her away with me as I drifted off to sleep once more.

  A few days went by. I woke up in my bunk. It was cool and a bit cozy in the barracks room. Captain Neider and his people of Bravo company of the Worgl battalion had packed up and left yesterday. Delta company came and took their pce.

  I walked to the trine and emptied myself. I came back to the bunk room to get ready for the day's duties. Several of the company’s women were still sleeping. I kicked their bunks to awaken them.

  “Come on you all, you need to get up to relieve the night shift.” I said as I went around to each bunk.

  Most slowly started dragging themselves out of bed. I continued to try and rally the less awake women. Corpal Malenovski came in and began stealing people’s bnkets.

  “Out of bed soldiers, your counterparts want to sleep too.” At the groans she raised her voice. “Leave is over, at least we aren’t digging these fucking trenches, get up and get ready now, soldiers! We have work to do.”

  “All we’re doing is guarding some trenches, what's the big deal anyway?” One woman mewed.

  She undid her blouse and exposed her shoulder. “You see this private?” A painful looking burn mark covered her shoulder. She bent it and winced at the pain. “I got this on trail from Worgl, I did limited participation from there on but I showed my bravery and even had trenches. All that is to say, you need to be vigint, these trenches won’t necessarily save your life or limb. They will certainly give you a better chance but you must stay focused and ready.”

  We were able to usher them all out of the bunker. I nodded at her. “Well done, Corpral. That shoulder injury looks quite painful.”

  “It is painful, ma’am. I still have my life though.” She rubbed her shoulder. “And I still have my lover so I can keep moving forward. My scare sounds nothing like falling out of the sky though. You might have been killed if the korvys had gotten to you.”

  “Sure, but I wasn’t found by them. I was found by a human patrol.” I sighed. “It was a bit touch and go for a moment, I was scared that I might die, but there were no ethereals. What your people call valkyries, I’ve learned.”

  She cocked her head, her expression confused. “Like from the earth myths? Valkyries aren’t real. I thought they weren’t real. Are valkyries real?”

  “I’m not sure what myths your people have but, Prakh Sergeant Rorke called them the choosers of the dead which is not quite right but I’m sure some ancient human would have perceived it that way. The way I’ve seen those creatures operate.”

  She walked toward the door. “I can’t deal with any of that revetion right now. I need to focus on staying alive and liberating my home from the birds.”

  I acknowledged her with a nod. “I need to talk to Captain Anders anyway.” I went to the trench HQ. Neider’s bottle still sat on the desk. Untouched since that night. I turned and saw Anders enter.

  “Good, I wanted to talk to you, Captain.” I said as he tried to pivot and leave the room. “Come back here.”

  He stopped short and turned toward me with his pcative smile. “Captain Gezzini, hello! I wasn’t expecting to see you here. How are you this morning?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine, but I have something important to discuss with you.”

  “I’m sure whatever you have to tell me is super important and all but I really have to be getting to…to the um… ” He looked around and tried to make his escape.

  “Sir!” A voice said from behind him. “This korveinian has come to negotiate.” I tried to look past him but couldn’t see anything.

  He sighed. He turned and came fully into the room then fell into one of the chairs in the HQ. “Ok fine, fine. Bring the bird in.”

  “We are talking after this,” I whispered to him. He didn’t respond.

  The korveinian walked in and nodded at us. “I am Sergeant Groteka of the forces you are besieging. We would like to request deliveries of food, water and medical supplies. We are in a spot over there.”

  “I am so sorry to hear you birds aren’t doing ok over there,” Anders mock cried at the bird. “Let me go arrange for those deliveries with my higher headquarters.” He burst into ughter. “Get the fuck out of here you loser. You aren’t getting a goddamn thing from us but psma bolts and live grenades. Can you believe this guy?”

  “MY superiors were hoping you would be more magnanimous in your victory.” He saw me and sneered. “And you khaveni, we were allies before these humans were even finished with their first world war. Your people’s betrayal will be remembered long and bitterly!”

  I showed him two fingers. “Subjugated. We were subjugated, your people came to our star systems and conquered my people through force of arms. We are not betraying, we are taking our rightful pce as any free people would.”

  “At any rate!” Anders interrupted. “You are not getting any form of supplies from us.” He looked at the soldiers that brought the bird in. “Toss his ass back into no man’s nd if he doesn’t make it to his own side within two minutes, just shoot him.”

  “Come on, korvy.” They demanded and shuffled him out of the trench HQ.

  I made for the door before Anders could attempt to leave again. “Captain Anders,” I said sweetly, “one of your soldiers, private Petrikov, needs a close eye posted on him. He has, on several occasions, assaulted women in bravo company and I belie–.”

  “I am aware of Petrikov’s supposed crimes. I’ve known him for a long time and I find it quite the tall tale to believe even half of what some of the higher ups have said he did.” He said, his tone very exasperated.

  I put my hands on my hips. “You realize I was one of his victims, don’t you?” I scowled at him for effect.

  “You say that, but I know Petrikov. He is a good guy and would never do any of the things you or those other py things have said that he did. I just don’t believe you.”

  “It happened,” I smmed my hands on the desk and leaned over him. “All of it. I am unfamiliar with this word, Pithing, what is that?”

  He smiled and shook his head. “Well, what were you wearing at the time, Captain?”

  I went off on him, not holding back a single swear in the several nguages that I could speak and the ones I only knew the swear words for.

  Sergeant Tanen sat down at the table we were shown to. I swept my skirt under me then sat. I picked up a bread stick and started nibbling on it.

  “Hi, I am your server, would you like anything besides water to drink?”

  “Just water for me, please,” I smiled at her.

  “I’ll take a gss of your finest rootberry wine.” She jotted it down and walked away.

  We both peered at the menu for a while. My mouth watered more and more as I read further down. Alfredo, spaghetti, sagna and more. I had been eating rations and field kitchen food for so long, I had forgotten what proper food could be like.

  “So many disgustingly delicious options,” I murmured.

  “I was just checking the dessert menu. I am not passing up the chance to fuck up some of this geto. For the meal though, I want some meatballs and rigatoni in red sauce, that sounds divine. Oh, and with a TON of dorb cheese.” He swallowed hard.

  We made our orders and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was freeing to be away from the front lines again. I felt like I could finally rex and not be on guard every second of the day. I smiled at Tanen.

  “I’m so happy with our work on the front and taking down that asshole.”

  He nodded at me. “Yeah, too bad Captain Anders argued for him and got him into his company. Some people just want to believe in people even to their detriment.”

  I scrunched my face in disgust. “If Petrikov ys a single finger on Kenny’s anything I am going to kill that weasel myself. I don’t care how much trouble I’d be in for, he would just be done.”

  “I can’t say I bme you, Persephone. I am going to be selfish and ask you not to though. I want you to continue watching my back on the battlefield. I want to stress, ask, not order. Ask.” We ughed. Our server delivered our drinks, and we thanked her.

  “How are you and Kenny doing by the way? I haven’t had a chance to talk to her recently.” He asked.

  “Yeah, she is doing ok. Her shoulder is still not one hundred percent, unfortunately. She can’t lift it up past a certain point, when she rolls the wrong way at night, the pain wakes her up. All that aside, our retionship is doing good.” I dug through my purse for a moment, I took out the little box I had tossed in at the jewelry store. “I have this.” I opened it. “I am going to ask her to marry me.”

  Tanen spped his hands over his mouth. “Oh my, oh wow,” He said as our server came up again with our food.

  She looked at us, noticed the box and Tanen’s reaction and ughed awkwardly. “Should I bring these back in a bit so you can finish your proposal?” She smiled.

  “Oh no, this isn’t for him. It’s for my girlfriend actually.” The three of us burst into ughter. “Thank you, we will take the food.”

  “Here you are,” she sat the ptes down. “Bon appetit.”

  “That is a big step, Percy. I’m excited for you and hope it goes well.” He began eating. I stowed the little box in my purse and began to spoon some food into my mouth too.

  “What about you, Tanen? Do you have anyone special?” He chuckled.

  “I have been far too afraid that someone would rat me out to the korveinians to get that close to people.” He looked sad. I could imagine, all the years of a loving and fulfilling partnership, he just missed out on all of that. “All that is changing now. I have not even considered if I’m gay, straight or otherwise. I just have tried not to feel anything like that, you know? I have pns tonight to go out and do some window shopping if you catch my drift.”

  I was about to respond when I heard a loud crash. I didn’t think even for a moment, I was on the ground before I knew it and rolling under the table. I stopped before I made it though. I wasn’t on the front. I’m in Port Arthur. This is not a threatened pce currently. There is no danger. There is no danger. Persephone, there is no danger here. I started to cry, I felt embarrassed for diving to the ground. My face was burning hot by the time Sergeant Tanen helped me to my feet. I was shaking. Was it nervousness? Adrenaline? My mind was flooded, I couldn’t think.

  “Hey, you are ok. I understand you have been through some hard stuff out there. We all appreciate it. Thank you for keeping us safe and stay safe out there.” A man from the table next to us said.

  I looked back to where I heard the noise. A server leaving the kitchen had hit a server going in and the empty dishes they were carrying were scattered and broken on the ground. Everything is safe. There is no danger here.

  I sat back down and wiped my eyes clear. “I’ve never cried so much before. I don’t know what is happening to me right now. I’m ok. I’m fine, everything is fine.”

  The man smiled sympathetically at me. “I believe you. I just want you to also know that it is ok to not be ok.” He nodded. “Stay safe.” He left.

  The server appeared at my side again. “Hey, sorry about the ptes dropping. Here take this and be well, friends.” She slid a pte of geto in front of us both.

  I finished my meal and didn’t take my eyes off of either of the ptes.

  “Hey Percy, are you doing ok?” Tanen sounded worried. I shrugged and pushed around the remains of the ice cream puddle. I couldn’t talk. “Do you want to get out of here?” I nodded slightly.

  He stood me up and gathered our things. We left the restaurant.

  I sat on the firing steps while digging into my ration pack. It was some cold meat block and mashed tubers. It was food in the loosest definition. I looked up and saw Corpral Malenovski coming toward me.

  “Hello, Captain Gezzini, may I join you?” I smiled wide and motioned her over to me. She ripped open her pack and pced the meat pouch in another pstic sleeve and dumped a little water in.

  “What is that pouch for?” I asked as I pulled my own one out. She looked with horror at my meat brick. “Why do you have that look?”

  “Are you eating that meat and mash… cold?” She had a whole body shiver. I cocked my head in question then nodded. “Oh hunny, hunny. No. This is not how you eat these rations, this is a heater.” She said, dumping water into the bag. She folded both the meat and mash pouches closed then pced both in the ration pack. “Give it a few minutes. The food is already cooked at some point, this just heats it up so it's not congealed and, you know the people who make these do their best so please don’t take this as me being mean, but the warmth also makes the food much less nasty. Trust me!”

  We both took our pouches out again, I was pleasantly surprised at how the heater changed the texture and made the food much better and much more bearable.

  She took out a smaller pouch and dumped it into a bigger one and poured water in then shook it up, the purple liquid that resulted smelled faintly of vineberries. I followed suit and the resulting fvor stung my taste buds with its intensity.

  “Wow, that is a strong fvor.” I said, trying to get it out. “I was not expecting that.”

  She giggled. “We certainly have an affinity for strongly fvored things.” I smiled but her demeanor was crestfallen. “I want you to know that I heard about what happened with Petrikov. I’ve known him for a while.”

  I shook my head and scowled, feeling the conversation heading in a way that was too simir to Anders. “Listen, I know you all like that man for some reason. I don’t want to cause trouble, I promise, but I will not be silent about what that monster did. What he did to multiple humans too, not just me. So please, spare me the lecture on how he could not have done what he clearly did.”

  “Woah woah,” she said. She ughed awkwardly. “I think you have the wrong idea about me. I’ve known him a long time and that is why I totally believe you that he did what you and the others say he did. He was always a total creep to girls in school. Some people tried to rein him in but he escated at every turn. If it hadn’t been for the invasion he would have done this to a woman back home. Not that that makes it right but it definitely has let him get away with even more that he otherwise would, I feel.”

  “You should be the captain of these people. That Anders is–” She held up a hand and shook her head.

  “I understand your frustrations with him, but he is in charge of me for right now. I heard about your fight with him. He is not going to protect us from Petrikov.” Her tone was very matter of fact. “We need to protect each other. I’ve talked with a bunch of the other girls in the company already, we need to stay buddied up at all times. Our only vulnerable time will be when we are asleep. That being the case, I’ve come up with this secret guard roster where we can spend an hour in the barracks to watch over the sleepers.”

  I was gobsmacked! “I am impressed. Really though, you should be in charge here. You care about the soldiers here, body and mind. I am happy to call you, Rorke, Tanen, and Neider my friends.”

  Her smile was as bright as sunshine. “I appreciate that. I hope we will be friends for a long while to come. Until then though, we need to keep our people safe from Petrikov.”

  A shot from one of the machine gun nests cracked out. We both ducked off the firing step quickly. I poked my head up and saw a wave of bck feathered shapes flowing across no man’s nd. I slid back into the trench.

  “Get your weapon, they are coming.” I took up one of the psma rifles and stood on the firing ledge and fought off as many of the korveinians as came my way. Some broke through the razor wire and even made it to the trenches in one section I could see. I grabbed a few of the soldiers around me and we went to where they had poured into our lines.

  The fire fight was intense but fairly short. The korveinians were offered surrender but charged us and were taken down in short order. I examined the fallen foes, they had all been injured in some way before they had stormed our position. This was a suicide attack.

  “Stay vigint. There could be another wave of korveinians that are not injured. They will be much more dangerous and effective. Keep your weapons on you.” I ordered the soldiers around me, and they responded with a chorus of akno.

  “We have injured ma’am!” I nodded and put a detail together to gather bodies and injured to remove them to the casualty tents.

  Anders staggered up after, swaying. He steadied himself on the trench wall. “What happened here?” He slurred. “I was just… taking a nap.”

  I shook my head. “Of course you were. The korveinians have divested themselves of their injured. I would expect a more concerted attack by healthy Korvys sooner rather than ter.” I moved in closer to the drunk man. I whispered so only he could hear, “I’m taking that alcohol, don’t drink any more while you are at the front. You are going to get your soldiers or yourself killed.”

  “I don’t report to you, bitch.” He tried to take a swing at me. I zily moved to the side and he fell on his face. Two soldiers caught my eye, well not them, the person they were carrying caught my eye. “Is he still alive?” I asked of the two.

  “No ma’am. Petrikov was stabbed through the heart. He is very much dead.” They continued to carry him away.

  “Malenovski will be happy to hear that.” I commented to myself. I wanted to search for her but I decided making a report to higher headquarters was probably a better idea. After informing them with the radio in the HQ, I went in search of my friend.

  I followed the assistant into the room. It was cold. Freezing. I pulled the coat on a little more tightly. I had started to feel the cold more and more tely, a side effect of the hormone treatment.

  We walked down one of the rows of metal tables. A white sheet obstructing something under each. Emotionally, I felt as numb as my hands did. I refused to believe what the communique had said. It had to be wrong. I desperately needed it to be wrong. I focused on box breathing, keeping myself somewhat steady. We stopped beside one of the metal tables.

  The assistant grabbed the white sheet and looked at me. I kept fighting the tears that threatened to burst forth. “Let me know when you are ready.” I stood, just breathing for a long moment. “I hate to be pushy, but it is very cold in here.”

  “Yes, yes. I am ready.” He pulled back the sheet. The tears flowed and, in the cold, stung my face, but I couldn’t be bothered to stop. I fled the room, ripping off the coat in the humid heat of the outside world.

  Sergeant Tanen was there, without thinking twice, I gave me a hug. He accepted and rubbed my back. “It’s ok Rorke, let it out. Let it out.”

  The assistant had sidled up at some point. “Can you fill out this paper, please?”

  “I’ll make sure it gets filled out.” I assume Tanen took the papers from him.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.” He said matter of factly. He had seen so much death it did affect him any more, I thought.

  “She’s dead. She’s dead. How can she be dead?” I wailed at Tanen.

  “I am so so sorry, Percy.” He soothed as we left the morgue.

  I felt broken and dead. At some point I was pced on my bed, I couldn’t say how or when. I pulled the box out of my purse. “Kenny. My love.” I cried again. I saw a take away box on my desk. I ate the contents, though I didn’t feel hungry. I id down as tears streamed down my face. Until, at some point, I fell asleep.