I sat in my office. Old books and loose papers were stacked in piles on nearly every surface that was avaible. I finished off my coffee cup and sat it back down. I looked over at the clock on the wall. Seven. I opened my solon interface on my computer and pressed the coffee button. More liquid appeared in my cup and I sucked more down.

  Turning back to the book in front of me, I read the page again. The wizard tower was ambushed by the Korveinian space forces. Half finished, the tower was nearly destroyed but blinked out of existence before it was destroyed. No debris field was ever found and the weapon’s creator, Kelvux Krokhna, vanished. The Korveinians, believing our weapon to be destroyed, came to Uthradi and forced our illustrious king Mauledon LX to subjugate himself to Korveinian rule.

  A decade ter Kelvux suddenly appeared at the solon once more. He was dismayed at the state of things but promised the tower was completed but he needed to figure out how to bring it back. He never expined where it went. He disappeared and was not heard from again.

  “No useful information.” I said aloud and knocked back the rest of the coffee. “Perhaps I’ll sleep.” I stood and stretched. My body ached. “It's been too long since I slept, I think.” I let out a yawn.

  I left my office at the solon and walked out onto the main stairs of the building. Our star was rising in the sky, slowly. I let out a huge sigh and shivered from the cool air. I set out for the train station. My phone started ringing and I looked at the screen, my eyes widened when I read ‘Yordek Fitholgok’ the leader of the solon. I answered.

  “This is Dobalin.” I said coolly.

  “Dobalin, I need to see you now.” I recognized the voice from the annual fair where ongoing research was shown. The person was likely Fitholgok.

  “I’ve been awake a while. Haven’t showered recently.” I said. “Could use a bite to eat. How important is this thing you need of me?”

  “I can’t rest your mind and body but I can have you cleaned and fed,” he said insistently. “Get to the solon now. There will be a car waiting for you out front!”

  “A car!” I was surprised. “This must be important! A car for one person? I don’t know whether to be honored or scared about what you want.”

  “Get there now, Uznik! I’ve got the under ministers for defense and production in my office and they want to talk to you.”

  “You got it boss. I’m on the way.” Perhaps a car nap will do. I thought to myself before turning from the train station and making my way back to the solon.

  The car was waiting outside. A servant stood outside. He held up his hand as I approached. “Keep moving, this car is for Dobalin Uznik.” He had a very terse tone.

  “Yeah, that’s me. I’m here for a bath and some food.” He frowned but before he could say anything I showed him my holo. His frown deepened further. I jumped into the car when he opened the door. “So you aren’t going to be the one to bathe me are you?” He pushed the door closed. I smiled.

  The nap was short but we quickly came to a very aristocratic looking bath house. Only a bunch of old money and nded children would go to a pce like this. I went in anyway, someone was picking up the tab and it wasn’t me. I was led into an ornate room with an intricately decorated tub, accented with what looked like gold by one of the servants the matron had called for. She looked kind enough, with some servants you could tell they had seething rage underneath, but this dy looked rather happy.

  I undressed at her instruction and settled into the lukewarm tub. “Now I’m going to add some hot water. Let me know if it gets too much for you, ok?” I nodded and just felt like nodding off really. I tapped the tub when it was warm enough for me, and she stopped pouring. I heard the clinking of the jar on the ground but didn’t move my head. “I will wash you now, is that ok?” I nodded again.

  It was a wonderful massage. My chest and back felt nice. Then she grabbed my genitals and my eyes shot open. I cleared my throat as I batted her hand away from it. “On second thought. I can take care of that area myself. Feel absolutely free to get the rest of me though.”

  She looked confused but after a moment responded. “As you wish, of course.”

  I was left to soak while I ate the food that was brought in shortly after the scrubbing was completed. When I was finished, she toweled me off, being careful to avoid my area. I thanked her and threw on my freshly undered clothes.

  After the bath and bite, I was looking at the solon again. I entered and started walking toward the stairs to get to the office of the solon leader.

  “Sir, this way, Tesh Uznik,” one of the aides said. “The solon leader will see you in his office.”

  I pointed at the stairs, the man shook his head. Confused, I pointed down, the man nodded. My blood went cold.

  “I see,” my voice was unsteady. I followed the man to the war office. We winded our way through a few passages I had never been in before but knew about all too well. I sat down when we arrived.

  “Have you had a nice meal, Tesh Uznik?” One of the people I didn’t recognize asked.

  I nodded. “I do enjoy a good roast dorb. The sauce was exquisite.”

  “I’ll tell the Emperor’s chef you enjoyed the meal.” The other said.

  “You two are ministers, I’m told.” I tried not to think about the meal, it was just another piece of disturbing information pointing to a conclusion I was almost too afraid to fathom. I pushed the thought away.

  “I am the under minister for defense, Hishen Khornogok. This is under minister for production, Gablin Tevorzhka.”

  “What am I doing here?” I asked. I felt as meek as that day in grade school I was sent to the school master’s office.

  “You have no doubt figured out something is up. The car, the meal made by the Emperor’s own chef, the fact that we are in the war office of the solon. Well yes, we are at war.”

  I scoffed, trying to cw back my nonchance. “Have those Korveinians found another people to make their sves? Perhaps some lizard people this time?”

  He smiled. “Rather, it's the peoples who have been subjected by them that have risen against them.”

  “Then,” I loosened my tie. “The tower?”

  “Very good, Tesh Uznik. We want the tower.”

  I cast about the room, trying to avoid the admission I now had to make. “I don’t exactly know where it is.”

  “Can you find it?” Hishen asked.

  “If there is anyone in this pce who can find it, it's me. I am the best archeologist here. I am also the leading researcher of Krokhna and his disappearance.”

  “Excellent,” the production minister said. “You will have whatever you need.” She handed me a folder of papers. “Requisition forms.”

  I rubbed my eyes. It was more than two hours since I had left the solon earlier. “I understand what you need. I will get nothing done if I don’t have some sleep though. I will get this all going after that.” I replied.

  “Indeed.” The defense man said. “We’ve got a bed ready for you in a bunker near here.”

  “My apartment?” I asked.

  “Korveinian spies likely know we are talking to you and have taken an interest in why. They will quickly find out your ‘secret’ research. We need to keep you safe.”

  “Fine, I get it. Bunker then, let's get moving.” I insisted. We took a secret passage into some old tunnels, but they were well kept. They led down to a room with a vehicle on tracks, we entered the cart from the solon to… somewhere. At one point we had to leave and cross what seemed like an actual train tunnel to another older rail transport. We arrived at the bunker after another hour. I fell into a surprisingly comfortable bed and fell asleep.

  I woke up the next morning. A hot coffee was sitting on my nightstand, these people seemed to know me very well. I tossed it back like a shot. I went to change my clothes, but remembered this wasn’t my apartment. I started for the door but noticed something moving from the corner of my eye, I turned full on to see Witi, my pet Turpin. I walked over and gave her a hug and pet. I looked over at the dresser in the room and narrowed my eyes. I opened the dresser, my clothes were there.

  I went to take my clothes off and a nasty waft came off my body. I felt very nervous from all the cloak and dagger, I was sweating. I opened one of the three doors, it was the hall. I opened another, the closest with more of my clothes. The st door revealed a toilet and shower. I popped in for a quick wash and messily dragged some clothes on. I went into the hall, I looked at the door, 2-56. I committed it to memory then picked left and started walking.

  I came to a rge opening, it was decorated in a pretty high-css high-society way, not quite the air of aristocracy at the bath house though. The ornate decoration with a disheveled archaeologist in it was, I bet, very funny to see. I saw a woman standing by another door.

  “Excuse me, miss,” I walked toward her, she looked like a servant from the clothes she was wearing. “Where am I?”

  “This is the VIP dining room, Tesh,” she replied.

  “Where should I be? Do you know?” I asked hoping my shot in the dark would pay off.

  “Minister Korkugok is waiting for you, Tesh. I can order you an escort if you like, Tesh.” She bowed.

  “Sure, thanks, miss,” I showed her my pinky in approval.

  She tapped her broach, it was an ornate badge with the letters RSC studded with gems. “This is VIP dining room, requesting an escort for Mr. Uznik.” She paused for a moment “Understood.” She tapped it again and looked at me. “Your escort will arrive shortly.”

  A man walked into the room and bowed toward me. “Lead on then.” I said when he stood. This all felt like so much for me, coming from my little apartment and no servants. Sure I did ok for myself, I wasn’t in danger of becoming a servant, but neither was I close to being high css. I had something they wanted though and sometimes that is just as good.

  I followed him down the hall, we didn’t twist and turn much at all but I still felt lost. We came to a door that had the words Minister’s Offices. He let me in and pointed me to the door that said Minister of Defense. I walked in to find a desk and chairs with a shelf of books and a cabinet at the back. It was an otherwise very austere room. A man sat in the desk chair in a suit looking well put together. I plopped myself into the other chair.

  “Hey, when did you take all my stuff? And who handled my precious Turpin?”

  He looked surprised for a moment but gathered himself quickly. “I suppose you are wondering about the tunnel complexes.” He said trying to wrangle the conversation toward something he wanted to discuss.

  I scoffed. “I’m an archaeologist. I know about these tunnels. I’ve never seen them and they seem to be more extensive than I imagined but the war of humiliation and the vermin tunnels is not surprising to me.” I thought for a moment. “The only thing is these seem to have been kept very well. That much is a surprise.”

  He scowled at me. “Ok, well you should have seen them a few years ago, several sections had colpsed… but never mind about all this. Let's move on then, you know we want you to find the Tower. We need to know where to go, how many people we are bringing and any specialized equipment you may need for our logistics pnning.”

  “I need my notes, my papers, and my books. I don’t know where to look just yet,” I replied.

  “Fine, who do you need?” He asked in far too serious a tone to suggest joking.

  “Though the two do not get along anymore, Alfern Zokus and Tevia Gelshgok would be a great help. I totally understand why she would hate him after what happened. Anyway, they were students of mine at one point, both took great interest in Krokhna and the Tower. Also a nice spacious work space would be good too.”

  “Both are being transported here as we speak and your research materials are in b 4. Theirs will be collected there too.” He sat back. “Anything else?”

  “What if I said a tsuji a day?”

  “Lemon, Lime, Orange, Gerto, or Thusi?”

  “Rotate between them, please.” How far can I take this? How much do they perceive they need me?

  I had a gerto, lemon, and orange fvored tsujis while I awaited the arrival of Alfern and Tevia. I stayed up with Witi and doted on her until I was called to b 4. I winded through the halls until I came to a door that said b 4 and pushed my way in. My former students sat in the room scowling at each other, they turned toward me as I entered.

  “Well, if it isn’t my favorite two students.” I fell into a nice arm chair, I had them drag into the room a day ago. I grabbed the lime tsugi on the table next to me and spooned a bit into my mouth. “So, hows life you two?”

  “I didn’t realize he would be here.” Tevia replied, two fingers leveled at Alfern. “How can I work with him? After what he did! I can’t. I won’t.”

  I let out a deep sigh as another spoonful melted on my tongue, the divine fvor enrapturing my taste buds. I smiled. “Yeah, he sucks as a person. You won't hear me arguing against you on that point. The lengths these people have gone to to make me comfortable, read as acceding to my demands, however, suggests to me that none of us will not be allowed to abandon the hunt they have set us on.”

  “Can I get some of that tsuji?” She asked.

  “Door man!” I called in a loud voice. The door opened and a man poked his head in. “Go on, Tevia.”

  “Tsuji, Thusi fvor, please. Thanks.”

  “On order for the duration.” I whispered to her.

  “On order for the duration,” she added.

  “Very good, Tezh Gelshgok,” he bowed. “Right away.” He closed the door.

  “Well Alfern, you are a shitty person and I don’t really like you anymore. Used to have a lot of respect for you. Not any more though.” I said to him, “you have said and done some nasty things to Tevia here.”

  “But, master!”

  “I’m talking, which means you aren’t.” I paused. “I know what happened. I saw the reports. You tried to sexually assault her. I promise if this was not such a high stakes thing I would insist on your ousting before you got here. And if you ever do anything to hurt her while we are doing this. I won’t hesitate to hurt you.”

  “Master Uznik!”

  “Stop. You are the worst of us. Tevia, do you have anything to add?” I looked at her.

  “I don’t want to be left in a room alone with him, ever again. Lest he gets more ideas about the kind of person I am again.” She was radiating disgust and I didn’t bme her.

  “I’ve got you,” I pointed at her. “Door man!” I yelled. He popped his head in again. “We need a chaperone for Miss Gelshgok. These two have a problematic history together. And I want to make sure that one,” I pointed three fingers at Alfern, “doesn’t try to hurt her again.”

  “Oh my, such a rude gesture,” he said. “I will make the arrangements though,” his head disappeared, a moment ter, he was full on in the door frame. “Your Tsuji, Ma’am.”

  She took the gss from him. “Thank you, um, I don’t believe I ever got your name.”

  “Think nothing of it, Ma’am.” He left and closed the door.

  “I don’t like you, Alfern.” I said. “I almost didn’t suggest you, but they said you were already on the way.”

  “May I say something now, Master?” He asked. I didn’t respond. “Fine, I was drugged, I didn’t know what I was doing. I feel absolutely gutted about what happened. What happened, happened though and for my part, I’m sorry, Tevia. I never wanted to hurt you and I regret that it happened.”

  “I’m not forgiving you, but I like the perks of this job.” Tevia answered as she spooned another mouthful of her tsuji.

  He looked down then up again after a moment. “I am not asking for your forgiveness. I can’t forgive myself.”

  “Stop. You don’t get to come in here with an excuse and then say you don’t want forgiveness because you don’t forgive yourself. That is such a fucking copout. And hey! Depending on the drug you may hold less culpability than I thought, who knows. But I tell you what, the only right thing you’ve done so far is unequivocally apologize to her, good on you for that, at least. I don’t want you having any kind of substances while working with you. You got that bucko?”

  “I’m just here to help now, Master. I can’t change anything, I can’t fix anything. I will say sorry a thousand times if that’s what it takes. I want to help my people and to do that I’m going to help find the Tower. I accept your condition.”

  “Is that to your satisfaction, Tevia?” I asked her. She nodded then sat at a table and thumbed through some of the papers. I turned to face him again. “Get to work then, loser.”

  I forced the empty container that had held my tsuji onto the table and brought out my copy of Lists by Kelvux Krokhna to start looking.

  I got on reading and taking notes. The unpleasantness with Alfern taken care of, I bsted through the tome and found nothing new. I talked with the minister of procurement and was able to get a hold of some rare writings. Reports of sightings of Krokhna was the real gold mine. He had gone to Tokeria then Sebulskia. These, being part of the Innercore of His Majesty's Kingdom, would be quick and retively safe to get to.

  I packed my things and got my precious Witi together as well. We were loaded onto a troop transport, it was about a day's flight to Tokeria at the vessel’s safe top speed. Cleaning Witi’s litter had become bothersome. I went to the representative before we left.

  She saw me coming and grimaced. “Mr. Uznik, what do you want now?”

  “The most deluxe Witi litter box that has ever been invented!” I decred.

  “A Witi litter box?” She sounded shocked. “Clean your pet’s shit yourself.” She turned to leave.

  “It’s ok,” I said, ying on thick my disappointment. “I will take time away from my studies on the potential location of the tower, of course. I’m sure your superiors are totally ok with that though.”

  She stopped short. I could almost hear her teeth grinding against each other. She turned. “Ok. Fine. I will get you a self cleaning litter box with an oder spritzer, is that what you want? Anything else? Perhaps a servant so you don’t even have to change that!”

  I took a sharp breath. “A servant? Is that… on the table?” She rolled her eyes. “Is it? Can I have a servant? I want a servant, please.”

  Her frown deepened. “I will ask, but I was saying that as an example of something that was ridiculous and difficult to do. I’m not making any promises, you got that, Uznik?”

  I smiled wide and showed her my pinky. “I believe in you, my most favorite of the procurers.”

  “I hate you.” She unched away from me. “One more thing, since we are stretched thin at the moment, we are sending you with limited resources. We are ordering the servants to follow your words and lead with few exceptions. If one of the pnets turns fruitful give us a call and we will arrange whatever is needed, got it?”

  “I understand.” I headed back to my room, my blood was rushing in my veins. An entire servant! An Entire servant. My country’s government was very desperate if they were willing to hand out a servant to someone like me.

  As excited as I was at the prospect, I put that aside for now. I instructed the servant outside my room to move my things to the ship. I grabbed Witi and met up with Tevia and her chaperone. Shortly, Alfern joined us too. We were taken through several tunnels and changed carts several times. It took over two hours to get to the underground nding pad. The circur room was topped by a metallic ceiling. There was no other way out so I imagined the ceiling would retract when it came time to leave.

  I headed into the ship and got comfortable with my precious little Witi. I was tired and so, took a nap. When I woke up, my things had arrived. I kissed Witi and, remembering I had not yet had my tsuji for the day, I headed to the galley to indulge in a snack.

  I dug into the fruity and salty dessert. Tevia entered shortly with her chaperone.

  “Welcome, Tevia,” I said between bites. “The orange is particurly good.”

  She quietly grabbed hers and sat. I tried to put my arm around her, she flinched away. I retracted my arm.

  “Sorry,” I said after swallowing. “How are you feeling?”

  “He has been so respectful.” She said, “I’m mad that he seems to have actually changed. He genuinely took my hurt from that night to heart.”

  I nodded. “Perhaps that story about being drugged was true.” I said. “Don’t let it make you feel bad though. What happened happened. No matter if you have forgiven him or not.”

  Tears streamed down her face. “I don’t think I can be mad at him any more, master.”

  “Then don’t be. Forgive him.” I said simply. “I’m happy to go along with how you feel about it. You were the injured party, after all.”

  “I hate him. I can’t hate him. I remember that night and I hate him. I remember the st few days and I can’t hate him.” she dropped her gss on the table and doubled over, grabbing her head. “What do I do, master?”

  “That sounds like quite the contradiction.” I said carefully. “However, these are emotions and, unlike some sciences, do not have to bring coherent facts together. You feel how you feel. If it still hurts you to remember him from that night, I think you should take that as a sign, more than how you are feeling about him now. There is no call to retraumatize yourself further once this tower business is concluded.”

  “I want to be good to him and I want him to be good to me. Then I remember and I am horrified that I would be thinking of being good to him on any level again.” She continued to cry. Her body convulsed with her sobbing.

  “If it is causing you so much pain, you should let him go.” I counseled. “As your friend and former mentor, I care about your well being and mental health. Don’t go to him, find someone else.”

  She looked at me and nodded. “You, master?”

  I coughed and a slice of orange nearly caught in my throat. I cleared my throat with a gss of water and smiled at Tevia. “I think it would be best if we just stayed friends. I’m not really into that sort of thing.”

  “Not even a roll in bed?” She enquired.

  I sighed and shook my head. “Since you are my friend, I will tell you something, Tevia.” I looked at the chaperone. “Hey you, I’m ordering you to be silent about this to everyone in all cases.” She nodded her head. I looked at Tevia again. “I have had, how did you put it? Rolled in bed with a few women before and men as well. I have never felt anything for anyone. I always see people being very horny and going for people. I don’t think I have whatever makes people desire other people in that way. I don’t enjoy sex. I don’t enjoy romantic retionships. It's not about you, I’m just not capable of having those kinds of emotions.”

  “You’re broken.” She said accusingly.

  “No.” I said forcefully. “I feel how I feel, it is called asexuality and it's recognized by many peoples as a real thing, Tevia.”

  “Whatever,” she waved her hand dismissively “you could just say I’m not pretty if you didn’t want to fuck me.” She threw her empty gss against the wall, it shattered. “Instead you make up some shitty flimsy ass lies. Asexual! What a load of shit. You are such a fucking asshole. You’re sick. And you’re a fucking cowered.”

  I sat in shock at how fast her mood shifted. Her sudden anger and violence was a surprise. I stood. “Excuse me.” I started for the door.

  “Sure, go. Run away, cowered.”

  I paused for a moment. “I opened up to you with the truth of how I feel. If you want to apologize for the hurtful things you have said, come talk to me. Otherwise, I’ll see you at work, I guess.”

  I left and headed back to my room. Witi was there, sleeping on the bed. I crawled into the bed and snuggled with her. Tevia’s words echoed in my mind: You’re broken. Asexual! What a load of shit. After all I had done to defend her. I tried my best to be a kind and understanding friend. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I started sobbing and Witi licked my nose.

  I felt dead. We had nded a few hours ago. I feigned sickness so they would leave me alone. I saw the faces of all women and men I’d ever had sex with. I remembered the emptiness, compared to what others had suggested I should be feeling, I’d felt during and after the act. I’d heard from everyone, all my life that it was supposed to be the greatest feeling ever and it just never was that.

  Perhaps I am broken. An aberration. A freak. Abnormal. Perhaps I should have wound the windss and taken Tevia to bed. But no, it would not have been right, I was her teacher for many years but more importantly, I shouldn’t have to have sex if I don’t want to.

  I hugged Witi close to me. I can at least enjoy a nice snuggle with a warm fluffy turpin.

  A knock came at the door. I didn’t answer. Witi was struggling to get up and see what was happening so I let her go. Again someone knocked on the door.

  “Go away,” I muffled from my pillow, “I don’t feel well.”

  “Sir!” The voice from the door called. “We found something. You must come see.”

  I lifted my head from the pillow. “What do you mean you found something? What something?”

  “It is a cave not far away and has the crest of Krokhna. There are devices there.” The reply came.

  I pushed myself to a seated position and tried to stand, I fell to the ground.

  “Sir, is everything ok in there?”

  I got to my feet again. “Get me a hover chair. I said I’m not feeling well, didn’t I?”

  “This is a troop transport, we don’t have one.”

  “Oh, fine then! Help me to walk until I get some strength back then.” I finally made it to the door and opened it. A man stood there and quickly he grabbed my arm to steady me.

  “I suppose she was wrong,” he said.

  “Who was wrong, I asked.” My ire rising. “What was she wrong about?”

  “Oh I… ummm.” He stammered

  “Tell me!” I prompted louder than before.

  “Miss Tevia said you were faking because you were a,” he paused and wouldn’t look at me.

  “I’m ordering you, tell me what she said.” I was nearly yelling at this point as I felt my rage continue to compound.

  “She called you a sad little boy who can’t please a woman and that you have no jhinkas.”

  The anger left me in an instant. I took a deep breath. “I see. She is somewhat correct there. Not that I talk with people about my genitals much, but I do have, what is that sng term ‘jhingkas?’ Why sour fruit? Who the fuck can say. Let's get moving then.” He aided me as we ambled out of the ship and winded our way up to the cave on a game trail. I was strong enough to walk on my own when we were most of the way up the slope.

  I sat on a rock for a quick rest before we went into the cave. The desert heat felt nice, it was dry. Quite opposite of Uthridar’s capital, muggy, sticky, and just all around gross feeling.

  We went into the cave, it was dark and my eyes took a few minutes to be able to see anything beyond bckness. I became more confident as my vision grew.

  “I see you were finally able to get up and help with whatever this is.” Tevia said with venom in her voice.

  “That will be the st time.” I said and walked to the plinth to look at the lectern that rested upon it.

  “Oh it will, will it?” She rushed toward me and pushed me with her body. I fell to the ground, she nded next to me. “How dare you order me around! You refused to fuck me, and now you have the audacity to order me to stay quiet! I will not you, asshole piece of shit.” She struck me several times as the tirade flowed from her.

  “Get her off of me now!” Her chaperone pulled her to her feet, she started kicking me but was soon far enough away.

  One of the servants helped me up. I shot her a disapproving look. “Take her to the ship.”

  Tevia tried to struggle out of the chaperone’s grip, but it didn’t help. “Let me go! Let me go! I’m not going back, I’m staying! I’ll come back, you can’t keep me away forever, servant!”

  “Just because she is a servant doesn’t mean you are allowed to disrespect her. I was given command of the servants, my word here will be followed.” I dusted myself off and wiped my forehead, feeling a wetness. I looked at my hand, blood. I rolled my eyes and sighed as I turned back to take in the lectern.

  Alfern came up next to me and in a whisper said. “What is going on, master? What was that about?”

  I frowned at him. “Don’t worry about it.”

  He stared at me for a long moment. “I know that I have disappointed you, master. I did something for which I am supremely ashamed and if I could go back to that night, I would do all I could to avoid the same outcome.” He walked away from me.

  I stared at the lectern, not really seeing it. After several minutes I staggered away and went to a corner and fell to the ground. My whole body hurt. I scowled and motioned for one of the servants to come over.

  When he came close enough to hear, I said. “Tsuji. Any fvor.” He sped off.

  “Someone get me a copy of Lists!” Alfern handed me his copy. I flipped through pages angrily then pushed it away. The book nded on a random page. I looked at it. I kept looking at it. It seemed strange. I have read this book at least half a hundred times in my life. I didn’t recognize that page. I picked it up again and studied it intently.

  “What is this?” I asked, looking at the cover. Lists was written there.

  “It's Krokhna’s Lists, master.” Alfern said he sounded confused.

  “Why have I never seen this page before?”

  “What do you mean? That's Lists.” He said again.

  I turned to the first page and continued to flip until I came across a page I didn’t recognize: 15. A map of the pnet leading to the cave. I flipped more pages until I saw 186, it showed the cave and had a lectern with a circle around it. I set the book down.

  “What is this?” I asked. “It's Lists but some of the pages are different. There is a map leading to this cave and a map of the cave with a circle on the lectern.”

  Alfern walked to the lectern. I stood, my body ached but I managed to amble my way to the lectern as well.

  We examined it. There was a three by three grid, each recess was square in shape. No other symbols or indents were on the thing.

  “What do you suppose it means, master?” Alfern asked after some minutes of looking.

  “We should have to put something in these recesses and I assume something will happen.” One of the servants returned to the cave with my tsuji. “Right, you look at the book, I’m going to have a well deserved snack, after my assault.”

  He looked at me as if there was a question dancing on his tongue. I shook my head at him. He pursed his lips then walked to where I had left the book on the ground. He picked it up and pced it on the lectern. An image of Krokhna appeared above the book and started talking.

  “I have found my way home, but there was no power left to bring the weapon back here. I made the device in this cave to transport someone to the weapon when the time is right. Bring a hefty power source, if your intention is to bring it back. The book you carry will expin how when you arrive on the weapon. I will say no more now.” The image disappeared.

  I stood, absolutely gobsmacked. I never, NEVER in a million years thought I would see or hear the great Kelvux Krokhna. I sank to the ground, and rested against the lectern. I set the empty tsuji gss down.

  “We need a power source.” I stood, my aches forgotten. “Come on everyone, we need to get to the ship. We will need more supplies than what we have. I have some calls to procurement to make. We need to talk about what to do with her as well,” I said to Alfern, specifically.

  I made the call to procurement. They said they would send another transport with field rations and a small generator with some old style adapters, just in case.

  I met with Alfern in the mess after my call.

  “Rations?” He seemed surprised when I told him all that I ordered. “What do we need rations for, master? We have plenty of food on the ship.”

  “We have learned that we could possibly get to the tower, that much is true. We also certainly have food on this ship, however, once we get to the tower, we will not necessarily know how to get back. We know that obviously there must be some way, as Kelvux Krokhna returned from wherever the hell that weapon is now.”

  His face lit up. “I understand! You don’t want to be caught without balst.”

  “Exactly!” I smiled and patted him on the shoulder. I had been so mad and disappointed with him for several years, it felt a little strange to be proud of him in any capacity once more. And now for Tevia to be so hostile. How the world changes. I felt a headache coming on.

  “Master,” he said with some hesitation. “There is the matter of her that you don’t want to discuss. I have to say I was very surprised, you’ve been advocating for her since we were brought together and she just full on attacked you in the cave. I don’t understand that.”

  I stood and looked away from him. “She,” I cleared my throat and tried to straighten my tie but only made it more crooked in the other direction. “She made a pass at me. She suggested that we should have sex, her and I.”

  “Master! You didn’t.”

  I turned back toward him. “I absolutely did not have sex with her. I told her… well in essence I told her no and she didn’t take it well. She has been raging against me since.”

  He sat back and looked at the ceiling, thinking. “I have recognized my mistakes with her, master. It strikes me as odd, though, that she would be upset that you refused to have sex with her while being mad at me for–”

  “That is a stupid point to make. Don’t do it again.” I rubbed my temple, my head was starting to hurt more as the headache intensified. “I don’t know what to do about her, to be honest. I don’t feel like I should have to apologize. I feel like I did nothing wrong. I just told her I was never going to do anything like that with her.”

  “What if, however you denied her, I don’t know, I wasn’t there, you bruised her ego?” He asked. “Perhaps an apology is the way to go?”

  Scowled at him. “I’m not going to apologize for my sexuality. I’m sick of being thought of as the problem in this area. Retionships I’ve had with women in the past have crumbled because of it. I’m not taking this shit anymore. I refused to accept it.”

  “You are gay and getting into retionships with women and you think that is not your fault?” He looked puzzled.

  I spped my face with my hand. “No, I’m not gay. Even though I’ve had retions with men like that.”

  “I don’t want to push this because you seem to be dancing around it but besides liking any gender of person, I’m not sure what other sexuality a person could have.”

  I shook my head. “Fine.” I smmed the table with my hands. “I don’t like sex. I don’t enjoy sex. I’m not a fan of people touching my penis or testicles. It doesn’t feel right to me. The humans have a word for it that I have adopted, they call it asexual.”

  He looked intently at me. “This is what you told Tevia?” I nodded. “That’s not something our people have done in the past. Are you serious about that? You really don’t feel the amazing feeling you, well I guess, the rest of us feel while inside a woman?”

  “I said how I feel.” I said pinly.

  He let out a great sigh. “Well, I can’t say I understand that position but I believe you in how you say you feel. It’s not like it affects me at all anyway but I believe you. So, how do we move forward with Tevia then?”

  I covered my face with my hands and let out a growl. “Maybe we can try to talk to her again? I do not know. This whole thing is just disappointing.” I stood. “I wish I hadn’t had my daily tsuji already. Come on, we will try duty to motivate her to stop being so awful.” We walked to the officer’s quarters of the troop ship and found the chaperone outside Tevia’s room. She let us pass.

  As we walked into the room she held three fingers up at us. “I want nothing to do with either of you.”

  “Yeah, that’s great.” I said dismissively. “We have real work to do. Our people are at war for our freedom from the Korveinians. We can make a difference in that. We have a chance of getting the tower and to go on the offense. They haven’t had too much development in space defense technology since our subjugation war.”

  She stood on her bed. “I’ve been mistreated by both of you. I’ve been pressed into service with both of you by our government. I’m not very disposed to helping free our people if I’m being truly honest. I’m just over giving a fuck at this point.”

  “What do you mean I’ve mistreated you?” I asked. “I’ve never done anything untoward to you.”

  She pouted. “I wanted you to notice me since I was your student! You never looked at me in any special way. I was just another of your charges. I pined for you so much and then when I finally had the courage to ask you for something men love to do, you embarrassed me and rejected me.” She started hyperventiting. “Got anything else you want to say, Master Uznik?”

  “A teacher shouldn’t be doing anything like that with students anyway.” I countered. “It is one of the first things you learn in teaching csses. Secondly I’m not interested in doing that in general. No one is getting that out of me.”

  She gave a dismissive way of her hand. “Men love it and have attempted for years to fuck me. You are a man, so stop trying to lie to me about your kind’s sick desires.”

  I shook my head. “Tevia, no. I am not interested, please take that into your understanding.”

  “You’ve had sex before! I talked with Mistress Toviar back in the day and she told me you two were dating at the time. So don’t lie to me.”

  “Yes, of course. I had to do sex to know I don’t like to do sex.” I crossed my arms. “We have to try things to know what we like and don’t like. I’ve also had sex with men just to see if I was gay. And you know what? I didn’t enjoy it with men either. I know I do not like sex, ok? The humans have a whole ass word for it!”

  “Asexual,” she spat. “You said it before.”

  “Exactly!” I said triumphantly. She started to cry.

  “Why couldn’t I be one of the people you tested yourself on then?”

  I was taken aback. “Once again, you were my student and I had people my own age. I’m sorry you are hurt by it but I’m not sorry about excluding you as a partner. It was the only right and proper thing to do, Tevia.”

  She colpsed on the ground. Alfern went to help her but I put my arm up to stop him. “So that’s that then?” She began to cry. She was heaving to try to breathe as the tears streamed down her face. I walked over and knelt down to pce my hand on her shoulder. She backed away from me. “Get out, please.” She whimpered.

  We both retreated from the room, the chaperone went in after our exit.

  “Well that went about as well as it could have gone.” Alfern said.

  I looked him right in the eye, my face completely neutral. “Shut up, Alfern.” I walked to my room and snuggled with Witi in my bed as I started to cry.

  I combed the pages of Lists. I was really just trying to distract myself from all the drama going on around me. I was tired from it. I was sick of it. I just wanted it to stop. All I wanted to do was find this weapon and to liberate my people from the birds.

  I smmed the book on the table. I thrust the spoon out of my tsuji and threw it at the wall. I turned up the gss and drank it down. When it was empty I broke it against the wall.

  “Please, master, I know you are upset.” Alfern said, sweeping gss away from his area. One of the servants came over and began picking up my mess.

  I growled at him. I continued to flip through the book and saw it. The pce where the puzzle pieces were hidden, all there on page 195.

  “Here it is!” I said, excitedly, “I found it! I found it, Alfern!”

  “What did you find?”

  “The pieces of the puzzle in the cave. Look at page 195, they are hidden in eight directions of the compass from the cave. We can get to the tower. We can do this.”

  “We can get the pieces, master.” Alfern sighed. “We don’t know if there is any particur order that they go in on the lectern though but I feel like we can be reasonably sure that Krokhna had a particur pce for each piece. That's like four hundred thousand combinations or something like that. I’m not a math person, don’t check my work. How do you expect to find the exact combination?”

  “I’m sure Krokhna has put a clue to the combination in the book somewhere.” I dismissed him. “We need to get out there and find these pieces now.”

  He shook his head but stopped abruptly. “You know what, you are right. We need to focus on this thing in steps. Right now we look for the pieces, good work, master.”

  “Gather everyone at the cave. Tevia, the pilot, and all the servants. Everyone! And get them to put on some protective clothing from the sun.” I ran to the door of the mess hall. “Go Alfern!”

  I put on my sun protection clothing in my room and went up to the cave. Everyone was there and I felt energized.

  “I have been reading Lists and found the location of the pieces of this puzzle. The pieces are in the eight directions of the compass from this cave, as well, one is hidden within the cave itself. So here is what we are gonna do, Tevia and chaperone, you will stay here and look for the cave piece. Everyone else pair up if you can and I’ll give you a direction to go in. OK, go.”

  I sent people in their own directions and chose the most difficult one for myself. The cave entrance faces south so I went north. I hiked and climbed my way up to the top of the mesa and made my way over the rough terrain. After a couple hours I found a marker and the piece I was looking for.

  I started heading back. When I was nearly to the cave once more, I saw another troop ship nding, the generator and other supplies must have arrived. When I entered the cave I found most people had returned with their pieces.

  “Some of you go grab the supplies and generator.” I told the servants.

  I felt like the headache and drama of this entire shit show might be worth it. The light at the end of the tunnel was finally in sight!

  After sometime the rest of the parties returned with their pieces and all the supplies were brought up to the cave. I grabbed the pieces from everyone and went to the lectern. Alfern and Tevia came up behind me.

  “This is it.” I smiled at them both. “We just need to figure out the order of the pieces. Do we have ideas?”

  “Have we looked all through lists?” Tevia asked. “There has to be something in there about the order.”

  “I had a look. There's only changed stuff on three pages, which are 15, 186 and 195.” Alfern put in.

  “There must be something there,” I said. “Let’s have a look at the pieces themselves.”

  We looked at each square in turn, they were all just a load of circles. We looked at the lectern again, they were just smooth, no special indents. I sat down to reread the pages of Lists that were altered. Tevia and Alfern sat away with the pieces, the chaperone began walking toward them when she noticed.

  It was all the same. Nothing about the stone pieces, only how to find the cave on the first page.

  “Master!” Tevia called. I looked up at her, she was pointing at the chaperone. “She said these are representations of atoms, hydrogen to fluorine. Apparently that's numbers one through nine on Bisdim’s Table.”

  “One through nine, is that right?” I asked. I sat up, then jumped up. “One through nine?”

  “Yeah, the atoms one through nine, master.” She moved the pieces around.

  “Bring the pieces here.” I said in a half commanding, half excited tone. “I think I know what the answer is.”

  They brought them over. I pced the one in the first slot.

  Alfern cleared his throat. “Do we really think this is a run of one through nine?”

  I turned to look at him. “No, use your brain. The answer is there.” I grabbed the eight and six and pced them in the next open spaces. I took the nine and five pcing each below the one.

  “The page numbers.” Tevia thought for a moment then gasped. “Oh, I get it, they add up to 15. So we need to add the rows and columns to 15. The nine, so that's two and four.” She tried to slot the two into the middle recess. I grabbed her wrist and pushed it toward the next recess over.

  “That one, Tevia.” I assured her. “We’ve already used the five.”

  She looked at the grid again. “Oh right, sorry.” She pushed the two stone in. I grabbed the four and pced it in the middle space. We slotted the three and seven in their spots after. Nothing happened for a long moment.

  The room filled with a bright light and in an instant the cool damp air of the cave was repced with clean dry air, it was almost sterile.

  My eyes came back to me after a few moments. I looked around, my vision started to blur. I finally saw it. I was finally there. I made it to Krokhna’s Tower.

  Tears began to stream down my face.