When I returned to the room, I found exactly what I had expected. While I was washing the dishes, he had altered the atmosphere. He dimmed the lights, fluffed the pillows and blankets, and sat in front of his laptop, waiting for me. When he asked if I wanted to watch a movie, I just shook my head.

  I chose to rest.

  I lay down on one end of the bed, he on the other, and slowly, we began to close the distance between us until we ended up facing each other. He didn’t say anything, and neither did I. We simply looked at each other, exhausted, and relaxed.

  Rest wasn’t meant in the literal sense; it was more about feeling my soul unwind rather than my consciousness.

  For a long time, I hadn’t been able to relax, everything disturbed me: silence, noise, people being around, or even being alone. Nothing felt right. But in that moment, with Dante beside me, everything felt perfect.

  The weight of exhaustion settled over me as I gazed into his eyes, and the next thing I knew, I had fallen asleep in his embrace. He was holding me from behind, just like he had in the kitchen. The steady rise and fall of his chest soon made it clear that he had fallen asleep as well.

  By then, the sun had reached the horizon. We had slept through most of the afternoon, but I didn’t mind. I would have stayed in his arms longer if I hadn’t suddenly remembered what he had told me that morning. “They left yesterday to visit my sister. They’ll be back tonight.”

  The realization made my body jolt, and within seconds, Dante opened his eyes and turned me toward him. I didn’t tell him what had startled me, I was afraid of hurting his feelings.

  But he understood. In the end, he pressed a small kiss to my forehead, and we stayed like that for a long while.

  He offered to drive me home, but I insisted on taking the bus. I would have gladly walked to the bus stop, but due to the weather, he managed to convince me to let him at least drive me that far. And so, I arrived home at six in the evening, in the pouring rain.

  Loneliness took hold of me in my apartment, but this time, I didn’t fight it. I let the feeling consume me as I sank into the couch. I had spent just one day with Dante, and yet, I missed him so much that it brought tears to my eyes. But crying would have been pointless, there had been far too many positive moments for me to justify shedding tears.

  With these thoughts, I started watching some random, lousy series while absentmindedly inhaling the scent of the clothes he had given me. But really, the past three days had been no different.

  The only thing I did to socialize was pick up my phone. I talked to Mark a lot, he even offered to visit me, but I refused. When I told him honestly that I wanted to be alone, he didn’t press further, especially after I added that I had something I wanted to talk to him about later.

  I was definitely going to question him about Dante, I don’t tolerate lies in any form, not even when they are meant to protect me. Speaking of Dante, he finally reached out to me on social media.

  The fact that he hadn’t done so before made me laugh, he thought I didn’t want to see him. Silly boy, he’s the only one I want to see.

  I didn’t talk much with either of them, but not too little either. Dante and I settled that he’d be free on the 18th because of his studies, and if I could, I should arrange the meeting with Derek for that day.

  And that brings us to today. I scan myself in the mirror, fixing my hair, while mentally running through the conversation over and over again. But somehow, it never plays out the way I want it to.

  Christopher is a tough subject, and if we’re not careful, we might touch on a sensitive spot. We need to make Derek talk about him on his own. We need to get him to open up about his friend.

  It’s a difficult task, but not impossible.

  Time flies as I listen to the voices in my head argue with each other. If my phone hadn’t started vibrating aggressively, I might have spent hours in front of the mirror, fussing over my curls.

  Dante is spamming me with quick reactions on Messenger like his life depends on reaching me. Because of his impatience, I throw on my coat, shoes, and bag so fast you’d think it was an emergency.

  I’m not even surprised when I see what’s waiting for me outside the building.

  His red Mazda’s engine is running like he’s showing it off, but that’s not the case. He’s just impatient for me to get in. As I hurry over and slip into the car, he greets me with a tired smile, but there’s no sincerity in it.

  “You look tense,” I say without any greeting. He quickly realizes who he’s dealing with and drops the act.

  “I haven’t figured out anything for the conversation… Should I have been a detective instead? Did I pick the wrong career?”

  “Don’t stress about it so much, we’ll figure it out.”

  “Why? Do you have any ideas?”

  “Oh, not at all!” I lean back in my seat, watching out of the corner of my eye as Dante’s body tenses. “But that doesn’t mean we’ve already lost. We’ll just improvise.”

  “You think we’ll be able to tune into each other’s thoughts?”

  “We? Easily!”

  Dante doesn’t completely relax, but his posture becomes lighter. He loosens his grip on the steering wheel, his shoulders drop, and he exhales loudly. That’s how we set off for Vernon. Only a few seconds pass before I realize that I still find this man absolutely perfect.

  His white shirt subtly highlights his slim figure, his blazer is neatly pressed, and his hair is a mess, disheveled yet effortlessly charming. The whole image is simply flawless. My gaze drifts from his frame to his hands. I feel safe while he drives, yet at the same time, I can’t help but miss the feeling of sitting beside Mark.

  “Do you have to wear a suit for work?”

  “No, but in this weather, I feel more comfortable in the office dressed like this.”

  I nod. Makes sense.

  “How was your week?”

  “Lonely.”

  “Mine too…” He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, but just like William, he only makes eye contact for a fraction of a second before looking back at the road. “I couldn’t handle it, so I had a glass of whiskey before bed.”

  “Just one?” My question makes him look ashamed, like a child confessing to something they shouldn't have done. He nods, a bit embarrassed. “In the past three days?”

  “I know it’s not normal either.”

  “On the contrary, I’m really proud of you.” And I genuinely mean it. Considering he usually drinks under stress, the fact that he only had one glass in the past three days is real progress.

  Dante, however, doesn’t seem to think so. He stares straight ahead, taking a deep breath and blinking a few times. I don’t want to push the topic further, I can see how hard this is for him. But then, he unexpectedly opens his mouth to speak.

  “I started running again recently.”

  “Running?” I might sound more surprised than I intended. He doesn’t exactly look like the athletic type.

  “You know… when my lungs feel like they’re about to collapse, I can’t think about anything else except how to breathe.”

  “Did you play sports before?”

  “I used to do karate, but I got tired of being slammed to the ground.” Laughter bursts out of me like I’m mocking him, but I’m not. I’m laughing at the fact that I barely know this man at all, every word he says is a surprise. I can’t help it, but I feel like I’m falling for him more and more, even though... he’s not even doing anything. “And!” He adds with a quiet chuckle. “I used to cook too!”

  “You got tired of setting the kitchen on fire?” I shake my head in disbelief. “Dante Ross, you are full of surprises…”

  He smirks and casually runs a hand through his black hair.

  “And you... you wear everything on your face.”

  I don’t respond to his quiet remark. I just watch his face as he smiles, genuinely. Is he my dopamine?

  I shake my head at the thought. Maybe he’s right, I show too much emotion. I need to work on that, at least for the duration of this meeting.

  We can’t let our tension show. We need to act like this is just a normal, friendly gathering. Let’s say I’m simply meeting up with a friend for coffee… and Dante just happens to be joining. Just a little friendly catch-up, right? Nothing suspicious about that.

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  No. That’s a lie.

  We’re here to extract information from someone, to find out what happened, why he and I were never able to become Us?

  "Everything will be fine," Dante says softly beside me, trying to sound confident. He doesn’t.

  “Of course. We’re just going to have a conversation.”

  “Yeah.” His agreement doesn’t really help, but it doesn’t make things worse either. It doesn’t take long to reach the meeting place. Maybe Dante drove a little faster than he should have, because instead of ten minutes, we have thirty to spare. The million-dollar question, what are we supposed to do until then? Remains unanswered. We just sit in the car, staring into space.

  “How about we go over the plan?”

  “Not a bad idea…” I nod a few times, but my mind is blank. I turn to him questioningly, but he only responds with silence.

  “Remember when I said the good cop-bad cop routine won’t work? Because Derek could just get up and walk away?” I nod. “I still don’t have any better ideas.”

  “You drank your brain away.”

  “I admit it. What’s your excuse?”

  "My brain is too busy thinking about you. The moment I try to think about something else, I get bored."

  “Okay…. Fair excuse.” He sighs loudly before unbuckling his seatbelt. “Wanna smoke?”

  “If I ever say no to that in a situation like this, just kill me.”

  He smirks and steps out of the car. I follow him carefully, I don’t want to slam the Mazda’s door into the Mercedes parked next to us. We light up near the front of the car. He stands right beside it while I lean against the hood, trying to clear my head. That’s when it hits me, one of the simplest yet smartest ideas. The conversation’s flow should be obvious, but we can make it seem like a natural coincidence.

  “What if I start by saying it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other?” Dante raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy.

  “You... You’re a genius.” There’s a hint of sarcasm in his voice. I roll my eyes.

  “Then you’d say something like, ‘Yeah, what about the others?’ You get it.”

  “Ahhh!” His eyes light up with childlike realization. “You talk a little about Mark, then I ask about Chris.”

  “Then I mention that Chris was acting weird last time, hoping Derek will say something we can latch onto.”

  “Okay, you’re actually a genius.”

  “This only works if Derek actually talks.” I take a drag of my cigarette while Dante flicks his ash onto the ground.

  “We need a backup plan. If he doesn’t respond well, I’ll casually mention that Chris used to see a doctor, maybe that explains his weird behavior.”

  “That could work... Let’s use both ideas.”

  “And then what?”

  “Then I go home, and you go back to university. Next, we interrogate Mark.”

  “Honestly, I’d rather focus on our future together.”

  “And I’d rather put an end to all these unanswered questions. I’m sick of all the uncertainty.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be by your side through it all. But when do we get to be alone together?”

  “We’re alone together now.” At my sweet smile, he flicks his cigarette away.

  “I meant your medication, I’ve prescribed a few kisses for your broken heart.”

  “I already put a band-aid on it!”

  My girlish embarrassment amuses him, even if I don’t find it so funny. He laughs loudly, leaning against the car beside me. I avert my gaze and take another drag.

  He’s such an idiot… How does he talk about things like this so easily? Even now, the memory of his kisses still burns on my lips. The way we devoured each other under the cover of night…

  If I let myself think about the possibility of it happening again, I forget that I’m twenty-two years old.

  Somehow, he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, because after pushing himself up, he doesn’t step back, he moves closer. One hand rests gently on my side, sliding down to my hip, while the other finds its place on my shoulders. He’s so close that, for a moment, I forget to breathe. Yet he does nothing. He only locks eyes with me.

  “You know, it’s really hard to hold myself back when I see how you react to me. You’re like a piano.” I’m completely speechless, not that I would’ve had the chance to say anything, because he continues. “I know exactly which key makes what sound. You never disappoint.”

  “And how exactly am I supposed to respond to that?” I ask, my voice laced with uncertainty.

  I want to kiss him and push him away all at once.

  We should be leaving for the meeting.

  “Just like when I press a key.”

  He leans in closer but I’m the one who closes the distance. Our lips meet in a soft, fleeting kiss. His natural taste, the fullness of his lips. it still feels unreal. He pulls me into a world where everything seems right, where nothing can stand in our way as long as we’re together. Slowly, I break away and avert my gaze. Surprised, he takes two steps back, saying nothing. He only secures the car with the central lock, and I toss away my cigarette.

  "It’s time to go," he nods toward the path, and I willingly start walking.

  Derek is probably already waiting for me. I’m a bit anxious about how he’ll react to me not arriving alone. But the moment I see Derek’s beaming face and his radiant smile, I realize my worries were for nothing. His blond hair is neatly styled, giving his face a kind and inviting appearance. His green eyes shine, and the light freckles on his pale skin complete the picture. I’ve never seen him in daylight before, he looks completely different.

  When he notices I’m not alone, he stands from the café terrace and pulls over an extra chair. His reaction instantly makes Dante relax, his shoulders drop, the initial tension vanishing.

  But the real challenge is just beginning.

  “I didn’t think I’d see you,” Derek glances at Dante as he rises and offers a polite handshake. “And it’s good to see you again,” he adds before stepping forward and pulling me into a brief hug. “Your call surprised me, but it made me happy.”

  “It’s been a while, I thought I’d check in on you.” A weak excuse, but it works.

  “What are you drinking?”

  “I’ll leave it up to you,” I reply to Dante, and he heads inside.

  “He’s really maturing, I remember when we climbed trees on a hiking trip, feels like yesterday…”

  “We grew up before we even noticed,” He’s right. Time flies. It’s crazy to think I didn’t meet Mark just yesterday.

  “So, how come you two came together?”

  “We ran into each other, I mentioned I was meeting you, and he decided to tag along. Hope that’s okay.”

  “So, you didn’t call me for something serious?”

  “Is it so hard to believe I just wanted to see you?” I avoid eye contact, if he looks too closely, he’ll see right through my lie.

  “It’s hard to believe anyone wants to see me just because.”

  Ouch. Guilt instantly gnaws at me.

  “Here you go.” Dante appears out of nowhere, placing a steaming cup in front of me. “Green tea. Thought you’d like it.”

  “I love it, thank you,” I say with a weak smile. This conversation is already exhausting me. The tea will do me good. Dante sits beside me, holding a coffee. The breeze carries its scent to me.

  “It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other,” Dante starts, leaning back in his chair.

  Derek leans forward on the table, resting his elbows, his eyes gleaming with interest, like the first rays of the sun.

  “We’re all so busy, no time to meet up at the bar,” Derek sighs.

  “Yeah…” Dante exhales tiredly. “What about the others?”

  "Mark’s busy with training and work, we barely see each other." What a lie. I’m avoiding him. I’m terrified of the truth. I don’t want to lose one of my best friends.

  “I only keep in touch with Chris and Gerry. They’re doing fine.”

  “I actually ran into Chris recently!” I blurt out with a big smile. Derek’s expression brightens even more.

  “You two went on a date?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. Dante’s lips twitch slightly.

  “You could call it anything, really... He was acting strange. I wouldn’t say it was a date or even just a friendly meetup.”

  “Let’s just call it a disaster.” Derek does notice Dante's quiet remark and even asks him to repeat it, saying he didn't hear, but the other just shakes his head, indicating that it's not important.

  “What happened?” Derek turns back to me.

  “I can’t really put it into words. It was... weird.” Taking a sip of my tea, I glance at Dante, who subtly nods toward Derek’s hands. His knuckles are battered, like he’s just come from a boxing match.

  “He was a bit strange as a kid, too…” Dante muses. The blond guy nods almost imperceptibly.

  “When he was younger, he had problems at home. He even saw a doctor. It wasn’t a secret.”

  “What was he treated for?” I might’ve asked too quickly. Derek hesitates, then takes a slow sip from his cup.

  “I don’t know exactly. But I do know he turned to drugs.” The revelation is so shocking that Dante spits his coffee straight onto the table. I swallow wrong, choking. “You didn’t know?”

  “How the hell were we supposed to know?!” Dante fires back instantly.

  My mind races through the past few months. He was never like James or William. He never seemed like someone who used. Derek chuckles softly, intertwining his fingers around his cup. The topic clearly weighs on him.

  “You know, he was always bullied at home and at school. He always needed someone to protect him. That’s why he started training… But he couldn’t suppress his mental struggles with just that.”

  “Thinking back... he was never exactly positive.” I can hardly believe what I’m hearing. Did I really never notice because I only ever saw Christopher when he was high?

  As if reading my thoughts, Dante suddenly turns to me, eyes wide with realization.

  I get what he’s saying. Chris wasn’t acting strange, he was acting completely sober.

  “Why are your hands all busted up?” I ask, not bothering to hide my irritation. Derek looks away, clearly taken aback.

  “Chris’s guy gave him too much. He was really sick. So I... I went to see the dealer…”

  “We get it. Relax.”

  Dante cuts him off with a gentle smile. But there’s still one thing I don’t understand, why did Chris try to push away everyone I cared about?

  “You’re okay with this, Derek? This isn’t like you. How can you just sit back and let him do this to himself?”

  “He said he’d stop once he moves out!” Derek raises his hands in defense, his green eyes locking onto mine. “He’s looking for a roommate. He’s afraid that if he lives alone, he’ll completely lose himself.”

  “Why would he lose himself?” Dante’s brow lifts in genuine curiosity.

  “Because he’s schizophrenic.” Derek’s voice is flat, careless, almost, but the moment the words leave his mouth, he realizes his mistake. He sees our stunned faces and panics. In a split second, he jumps to his feet, knocking his chair over. “Wow, look at the time! I should get going. We’ll talk later!” Before we can even say goodbye, he bolts. Dante and I just stare after him.

  What the hell is going on?