I lean on the table, watching Mark play with the little toy car that came with his meal, while Christopher sits at the next table over, tapping away on his phone. We’re both just waiting for Mark to finish eating, but there’s one problem: his cheeseburger is still untouched. Meanwhile, Dante keeps texting every half hour, asking, When are you coming? Where are you guys? What’s taking so long? I’m bored to death... Where are you already?

  Honestly, I’m out of excuses. I snap a picture of Mark’s food struggle and send it to Dante. I think it’s the perfect answer.

  As I sip my orange juice, I think back over the past week and realize that nothing particularly interesting has happened. I’ve been spending less time with Mark because of my schedule, and Dante and I haven’t exactly become besties either. He texted once, asking if we could hang out on Saturday. Only Chris has been in touch almost every day. And now here we are, in Vernon, the two of us already done with dinner, just waiting on Mark to finish, but it’s dragging on like an eternity.

  “Can I see it?” I reach for the toy car, and after a moment’s hesitation, he hands it over.

  “Alright, I’m not giving it back until you eat your food!”

  “Come on!” he whines.

  “Your burger’s gonna get all mushy, dude.” Chris backs me up, and Mark, after sizing up the situation, starts eating like it’s some form of punishment.

  Time’s ticking, and Mark doesn’t know that I have plans to meet up with Dante. All I told him was that we were expected at the pub, and that’s probably why he’s taking his sweet time with his food. There’s not much else I can do; I can’t tell him to hurry up just because I want to straighten out a part of my life. That would just invite an avalanche of awkward questions. I don’t want a big scene; I just want to get this talk over with, go home, crawl into bed, and sleep through the whole week.

  I wanted to grab a drink before meeting Dante, just to steady myself for whatever’s coming, but I don’t think I’ll have the time. I keep texting Dante with excuses while the guys chat about their work problems, and I feel completely torn between laughing and pulling my hair out.

  “Who are you talking to so much?” Mark asks from across the table, making me look up and tilt my head.

  “You know... Dante. They’re waiting on us.”

  “He can wait a little longer.”

  I can tell he’s trying to make us late on purpose.

  I type out a message to Dante, telling him we’re coming from the east and that I have no idea if it’ll be in twenty minutes or an hour, but we’ll definitely show up. He replies, saying he’ll keep himself entertained, that there’s no need to rush. But tonight’s already been canceled three times and rescheduled four times. I just want to get there, have something strong to drink, and figure out what Dante actually wants from me.

  First, he canceled because he felt sick, then Mark complained about the line at the gas station, suggesting we wait until tomorrow. Then Dante asked if the meeting is still happening, so I convinced Mark. And then Chris postponed for his own reasons. I swear, it’s never been this hard just to grab a beer.

  An hour later, we finally reach the bar. I texted Dante to order a drink for me because I’m craving alcohol so badly it’s almost beyond words. So, as soon as I arrive, I plop into the seat next to him, barely even saying hello, and take a big gulp from the drink he ordered for me.

  “Long day?”

  “You have no idea.” I raise my glass to clink it against Dante’s vodka.

  “At least we’re here now.” he says, meeting my eyes that hits me like it makes my stress start to melt away, like the whole day hadn’t been an endless rush of complications.

  “Yeah…” I finally look around at the others. “Sorry we’re late.”

  “I got a little distracted.” Mark admits, shaking hands with Derek and Dante over the table.

  “A little…” Chris echoes, shaking his head, which makes Mark snap his gaze at him. Chris just smiles and heads into the bar for a drink.

  “What were you guys talking about while we were gone?” Mark asks, but Derek just rubs his chin awkwardly, staring down at the table. Maybe we interrupted something important.

  “Well, this is a bit awkward, but I was going to talk to Nina about it anyway.”

  “Me?!” I ask, genuinely surprised. I’ve never spoken to Derek for more than a few words, but he turns to me without quite meeting my eyes.

  “Yeah, um…”

  “Go ahead.” Mark says with a reassuring smile, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

  “The thing is, uh… I’ve had a lot of one-night stands…”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah, the problem is, girls seem to have no trouble jumping into bed with me, but no one wants anything serious with me.”

  “Oh…”

  I glance down at my drink, swirling it a bit. The problem, I think, is that he’s hoping for a serious relationship from girls he meets for one-night stands, which is an almost impossible expectation. For most girls, offering their body to a guy for one night would make things awkward over coffee the next day. But how do I explain this without making him feel like I’m calling him stupid?

  “Look, Derek…” I start after a bit. “If I hooked up with someone while tipsy, I wouldn’t want to go to the movies with them the next day. It’d be… awkward.”

  “She’s got a point.” Mark nods in agreement.

  “So what am I supposed to do?” Derek sighs, leaning on the table in frustration.

  “I told you before.” Dante chimes in. “Do the same thing you’d do at the club, but invite her to a restaurant instead of your bed.”

  “And how exactly do I do that?” Derek scoffs, and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Just like you get them into bed!” Mark confirms, backing Dante up.

  “It’s easy… Look at me, Derek! Pay close attention because this is going to be simple, really simple.” I catch his green-brown eyes and then turn to Dante, lightly touching his hand. “Sorry to approach you like this, but I find you really attractive. Can I buy you a drink? Would you go on a date with me?”

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  “Of course!” he replies immediately, a big grin lighting up his face, his eyes practically shining. This guy is unbelievable.

  “See, Derek? It’s that easy!”

  “Just do the same thing; you’ve got nothing to lose.” Dante agrees with me. Right on cue, Chris arrives, a beer in one hand and a soda in the other. He sets the soda down in front of Mark.

  “So, I come back to find that Nina just asked Dante out?” Chris raises an eyebrow.

  “It was about time.” I pat myself on the back.

  Seriously, Derek, don’t be afraid. You’ve got everything it takes for a serious relationship. And thanks for the soda, Chris. I’ll call you back, I swear!”

  “Oh, right! Thanks for the drink, Dante.”

  “No big deal. ”

  The night unfolds as it usually does: lots of chatting and drinking. Since we only see each other every week or two, the guys always have plenty to catch up on, and I listen like it’s some kind of bedtime story. Not much actually happens in their lives, but even the emptiest stories are nice to hear. They laugh at silly things and genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and I lose myself in the moment.

  After a few hours, I’m jolted back to reality by Dante nudging me, and I meet his gaze which almost immediately tells me what he wants. That look... Time for an escape plan.

  “Oh, crap!”

  “Yeah?” Mark looks over at me.

  “I left my smokes in the car!”

  “You want a cigarette?”

  “Yeah…” I say to Derek, pretending to be bummed out.

  “Doesn’t Dante have any?”

  “Nope, left mine at home.”

  “Ah… Nina, I parked pretty far from here.” I knew he’d be too lazy to walk with me! Unbelievable.

  “I’ll come with you.” Dante’s offer surprises everyone except me. I smile and nod at him. Mark hands over the keys, and we’re off, moving as quickly as we can.

  We’re both pretty tipsy, so Dante takes my hand to help me up a small incline, and for some reason, our fingers stay intertwined. We don’t say much; we just keep swaying slightly as we walk down the path, with Dante sometimes squeezing my hand to keep me steady, and sometimes I do the same for him. That’s how the first five minutes pass. Around the sixth minute, we start sneaking glances at each other, chuckling like two giddy kids, embarrassed for no reason. I wouldn’t say we’re completely drunk, just tipsy enough to feel a bit dizzy and to drop our usual inhibitions.

  We might have stayed quiet all the way to the parking lot, if not for a couple arguing on the other side of the street. The woman, completely outraged, was hitting the guy with her handbag, while he was trying to calm her down with the sweetest words imaginable. We stand there frozen, watching the scene unfold as if nothing else existed around us. All we’re missing is a bowl of popcorn.

  “I’m telling you, I love you!” the guy shouts, and the woman smacks him over the head.

  “Don’t you dare love me!” Dante laughs loudly, lets go of my hand, and gives me a little push, making me stumble and fall over.

  ““Don’t you dare love me!”” he says in a high-pitched voice, mimicking the woman. But when he realizes I’m about to get swallowed by a bush, his eyes widen. “OH MY GOODNESS!”

  He rushes over and helps me up, his eyes scanning me worriedly. I just give him a little shove back.

  ““Don’t you dare love me!””

  I laugh quietly, and he rolls his eyes, sighs, and takes my hand again as we continue walking.

  Once we reach the parking lot, he watches as I clumsily fumble with the keys. When I finally manage to get the key into the lock, the central locking system clicks open. He walks around to the other side of the car while I settle into my usual seat, immediately digging through my bag for my cigarette pack.

  “So you really did want a smoke?”

  “Well… no, but life isn't exactly roses all the way.” I mumble softly, lighting up.

  “Because, uh… I actually had some on me… So, can I have the keys?” I don't say anything, just hand him the car keys.

  He fiddles with the car, idly toying with the gear shift, as if forgetting the real reason we’re here, to talk. He doesn’t say a word, as if he’d walked me six blocks away just for a cigarette. I’m the one to finally break the silence, but only after finishing my cigarette.

  “Look, Dante…” I exhale slowly. “The others are waiting for us.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know…” he stammers, nervously running a hand through his hair. “First of all, I just wanted to apologize for my, uh, behavior when I was drunk.”

  “It was funny; I could tell you’d seen the bottom of your glass one too many times.”

  “So… you’re not mad?”

  “Should I be?” I ask, casting him a sidelong glance.

  “And then… well… huh.”

  “Huh?”

  “I… I can’t do this with Mark around.”

  “Wait, what?” I raised an eyebrow, turning toward him.

  “It’s obvious he’s into you. I’ve known him too long to go there.”

  “I’ve known him for years, and I told him a long time ago that I don’t want anything from him. And he still stuck around. We’re not kids. He’s had plenty of relationships…”

  “I know, but…”

  “There’s no but, Dante.” I sigh, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. “You’ve confessed to me while drunk multiple times, and as for Mark, he’s not even on my radar. If he had a problem, he’d tell me to my face.”

  “Even so… I still can’t go through with it.”

  “Then could you do me a favor? Stop sending those drunk texts and saying things that make me think there’s a chance?” I smile at him without any malice or sarcasm, locking eyes with his blue ones. “It’s tough for me… right now, with you in front of me after all this, you have no idea how hard it is not to just kiss you.”

  “Look… Just so we can both get this out of our system.” I barely have time to react before he suddenly grabs the back of my neck with his long fingers and pulls me toward him, his lips finding mine. I close my eyes immediately.

  His kiss is filled with a kind of suppressed longing that I’ve never felt before, and I’m melting into it within seconds. I place my hand on his cheek, which quickly slides to his neck so I can anchor myself, because I feel like the ground might disappear under my feet at any moment.

  The first thing I notice as I kiss him back is that his kiss doesn’t really taste of anything special. He’s had a lot to drink tonight, a mix of different liquors, yet I only taste him, not the alcohol.

  It’s like a wild storm, one that keeps me alert but also burns. Like a breeze that makes me shiver, and sunlight that warms me. His lips feel like some force of nature against mine, and it weakens me so much that my hand slides from his neck to his shirt, where I hold on as tightly as I can.

  When I give him a gentle bite, something shifts, a hunger takes over him that feels like he wants to devour me; it’s that intensity that finally makes me pull away. Startled, I touch my lips, which still feel scorched from his kiss, and I meet his flushed gaze. He looks as uncertain as I feel.

  “Alright… we’ll keep meeting up, and then we’ll see where things go.”

  “I’m on board with that.” I managed to say. We lock up the car and start walking back to the others, with my bag now slung over my shoulder.

  The walk back is silent. We’re both lost in our own thoughts, trying to pull ourselves together. Dante keeps looking around, everywhere except at me, while I fidget with my hair. By the time we make it to the pub, I’ve calmed down, and nothing seems to have changed inside. Christopher is the only one who glances at me as if he knows everything, so I quickly turn my attention to Mark.

  “Well, mission accomplished? You locked up the car?”

  “Yes, all set. We locked it, too.” I say with a smile, pulling out my cigarettes. I don’t really feel like lighting one, but I do it for the sake of appearances.

  Christopher keeps watching me intensely, though. When I glance his way, he’s not actually looking at me, but at the cigarette in my hand. Surprised, I raise an eyebrow, and he narrows his eyes at the cigarette.

  “You want one?” I ask, and he just smirks, looking at it, then glances at me for a second before taking it from my hand. He takes a small drag, then hands it back with a smirk.

  “It still tastes like a cigarette.”

  “Still?”

  “Yeah, last time I smoked, it still tasted like that.”