Rain

  I don’t like Illume.

  I don’t think he likes me either.

  I don’t care.

  I sit in my room, curled up on the cot, staring at the View’s visualization. It's soft and blue, showing me words I don’t want to read. Hope’s voice chimes in.

  "Rain, we should continue your lesson. Today’s topic is—"

  “I don’t wanna,” I mumble, turning on my side.

  "It is important to keep learning. Your brain is still developing, and—"

  “I said I don’t wanna!”

  Silence. Then, the screen changes. A picture of a bird pops up, big wings stretched wide. "Would you like to learn about this creature instead?"

  I shake my head. I don’t want birds. I don’t want lessons. I want…

  I don’t know what I want.

  The ship hasn’t moved for days. I know because I’ve been counting. I press my hand to the cold wall, feeling the hum of the engine. It’s weak, barely even there. We’re just sitting here, stuck in the middle of a desert with no name.

  I roll onto my back and sigh. I can’t stay in here anymore.

  My stomach growls as I slip out of bed, dragging my feet into the hall. The ship is quiet. It’s always quiet. Only my breathing and the soft click, click of my steps make any sound. When I reach the dining area, I stop.

  Illume’s not here.

  He’s always here. Sitting in the corner. Not talking. Not eating much. Just staring at me like I’m something he stepped on. But now, the chair is empty. The room is empty.

  I peek around. “Illume?”

  Nothing.

  A shiver creeps up my arms. He wouldn’t leave. Would he?

  I take another step forward—and that’s when I see it.

  The gate is open.

  I freeze. The wind howls outside, kicking up swirls of dark pink dust. It spills into the ship, curling like fingers reaching inside. My heartbeat thumps hard in my chest.

  "Rain," Hope warns, her voice sharp. "You are not permitted to exit the ship. It is dangerous outside. Please return to your room."

  I don’t listen.

  I don't care.

  I have to know where he is.

  “Rain!” Hope orders, but before I let her speak anymore, I press my fingers to my ear and mute her. The silence feels strange. I never mute her.

  My feet move before I can stop them. One step. Two. Then, I’m outside.

  The wind screams past my ears, shoving against me. Sand needles my skin, filling my mouth when I gasp. The air tastes sharp, dry. The sky is dark and swirling, and I have to squint just to see where I’m going. I shield my eyes, pushing forward, up the hill next to the ship.

  I don’t know why I’m doing this. I just—

  Then, I see him.

  Illume is sitting at the very edge of the cliff.

  His back is straight, arms resting on his knees. His long coat fps in the wind. His hair is messy, stuck to his face. He doesn’t move. Not even a little.

  I step closer. The sand shifts under my feet. “Illume?”

  Nothing.

  I swallow. He’s been out here for days. I know he has.

  I inch forward, my hand reaching out. “Illume, are you okay?”

  My fingers brush his shoulder.

  He shivers.

  A second ter, he turns.

  His eyes—red. Bloodshot. Wild. Like a monster’s.

  Then, he shoves me.

  I hit the ground hard, coughing as dust flies into my mouth. Before I can get up, his hands are on me. Tight. His fingers curl around my throat.

  I choke. My legs kick, my arms fil, but he doesn’t let go. His grip is strong, squeezing, squeezing—

  “You thought you could sneak up on me?” His voice is rough, shaking. His breath smells bitter, like something rotten. “You think I wouldn’t notice?”

  I can’t breathe.

  “You—” His voice is cracked, raw, like he hasn’t spoken in days. “You don’t get to sneak up on me. You don’t get to—” His fingers tighten. “I could kill you. Right here. Right now. And no one would care. You hear me? No one. Because you’re the reason I’m here!”

  My vision blurs.

  I try to fight, but my arms feel weak. My chest burns.

  I don’t know what he means. I don’t understand.

  I just—

  The world turns bck.