“He’s fifteen minutes te, Akane. You can't keep us here.”

  Our homeroom teacher is ter than usual this morning. As usual, Ichiro is trying to get out of css.

  Akane stands up in front of the css, gres at him, and crosses her arms, “Are you sure about that, Ichiro? Wanna try me?”

  He looks away from her and scoffs, “One day off isn't gonna make us fail our exams. Loosen up. Try to rex .” He smirks at her, “You know, if you just chilled out sometimes, you'd probably have a boyfriend.”

  Akane walks up to his desk and gres down at him with her hands balled into fists. Through gritted teeth she says, “You wanna say that again?”

  “N-no. I…it's just…” He sighs and bows his head, “Sorry. That was going too far.”

  Madoka, a popur blond girl who sits next to me giggles, “I think that was a confession. Talk about an odd couple. The css rep and the css delinquent.”

  This results in loud ughter from the rest of the css including Daiki. He looks a little embarrassed when I catch him ughing, though.

  Ichiro, Akane, and I aren't ughing. They are both bright red, but I think for different reasons. Ichiro is looking anywhere but at Akane, while Akane has shifted her rage to Madoka.

  While gring at her, through her still gritted teeth Akane says, “Alright everyone. That's enough of that. Get out the worksheets we were working on yesterday.”

  Everyone groans, but also does exactly what she says. You’d have no idea that she's actually a sweet and surprisingly delicate girl when we spend time together. In here, she's stern and a little scary. And people do what she says.

  As I open my desk to get out the worksheet, I'm surprised to hear Akane call my name. When I look up, she gestures for me to come talk to her. When I walk up to her she gets close and whispers, “Go find Mr. Suzuki. He's probably in the teacher's room and just lost track of time. As per usual.”

  “M-me?”

  She nods, “I'd do it, but I think we'd have a mutiny on our hands if I left the room. And he likes you more than me, so that helps.”

  I sigh, nod, and step out into the hall. Eventually I find myself in front of the teachers’ room, but I'm nervous about going inside.

  I clench my eyes shut, whisper, “Dorayaki,” to myself, and slide the door open.

  The room consists of a dozen empty desks. Css is in session right now, so there aren't any teachers here. Except one.

  Mr. Suzuki is sitting hunched over his desk, scribbling something on paper and muttering to himself. He looks very intense.

  He's a short, chubby bald man in his 60s, who has a gray beard. He's our homeroom and Japanese teacher. He's a very nice man who is the best Japanese teacher I have ever had. He even made cssical poetry really interesting and fun. I have never looked forward to lessons in the subject before.

  But he seems to use a different clock than the rest of us. As good as he is once he's in the cssroom, he rarely gets there on time.

  And right now he seems completely unaware of my presence.

  I try clearing my throat, but get no response. Next, I call his name, but get nothing.

  I sigh, walk up next to him, say his name again, and put my hand on his shoulder.

  He jumps when my hand makes contact with him, and looks around in confusion. Then he smiles at me and says, “Ah, Furukawa. You're here early today. Have some questions about the homework?”

  I smile back at him, “U-um…yes sir. But it's time for css now.”

  He gets out an old pocket watch and looks at it before ughing at himself, “Oh…dear me. It is well past time. I've done it again, haven't I?”

  I ugh, “Just a little.”

  He stands up, carefully puts the paper he was scribbling on his briefcase and snaps it shut. We walk to css together.

  As we head to css I ask, “W-what's on that paper, sir?”

  He ughs, “Oh, I'm just trying to figure out the st line of a poem.”

  “You don't understand it? I thought you understood everything about Japanese, sir.”

  He chuckles, “You're too generous. But it's actually a poem I'm writing.”

  “Oh! That's amazing. I'd like to read it when you finish, sir.”

  We reach our cssroom and he smiles at me, “You know, some of your poetry for the st assignment was quite intriguing. I'd talk about it with you now if I wasn't already 20 minutes te.” He winks at me, and I ugh. “We can discuss it some other time. Thank you for coming to fetch me. You're much nicer about it than our stern css rep. Sometimes she makes me feel like a student.”

  I ugh, “You're welcome sir.”

  Akane has stopped by my room for one of our evening hangouts.

  “Sorry for sending you on that errand today. Css was kind of a nightmare this morning, huh?”

  I ugh, “A little. But you kept it under control.”

  She chuckles, “I’m gd I kept myself under control. I was this close to spping Ichiro.” She holds her thumb and index finger very close to one another, “‘You'd get a boyfriend.’ Please. Hey guess what Ichiro, I don't want one!” She shakes her head, “Madoka though.” She crosses her arms and shakes her head, “Saying he confessed. Ridiculous, right?”

  “”Um…actually. After today…I think maybe…Ichiro likes you. It was the way he got flustered and blushed.”

  She scoffs, “No way . He's been a daily pain in my ass for three years. And he’s a total pyboy. I don't think he has the capacity to actually like someone.”

  “W-well, he's immature, right?”

  “Obviously.”

  “Don't some immature boys flirt by being annoying?”

  Akane thinks for a moment, but then shakes her head.

  “What does it matter anyway? Obviously I'm never dating him. Hell, even if I were straight I’m pretty sure he'd be at the bottom of the list.”

  “I-I know, but…I guess I feel for him, a little.”

  Akane rolls her eyes, “That's probably all part of his pn. He's had his eyes on you since day one. Minute one , even.”

  “H-he has?”

  Akane chuckles and shakes her head, “Remember? He wanted you to sit in his p?”

  “O-oh. I thought it was just a joke.”

  “It was kind of a joke, I guess. But he would have gdly let you sit there, trust me. He's into you. Not me. This is probably some scheme.”

  “Scheme?”

  “Yeah, he wants to pretend to be heartbroken. Knows you're a sweet little thing. So you'll eat that up and then he'll have you in the palm of his hand. That's when he will seduce you.”

  I cross my arms and frown at Akane, “Y-you're making me sound very easy to fool…”

  She scratches her cheek and chuckles, “ Welll…”

  I shake my head at Akane, “ I think he likes you . A-and I'm not going to get….s-s-seduced… just because I feel bad for him.”

  Akane chuckles and pats my head, “You're so cute. ‘Seduced’ isn’t a bad word, you know. You're still a good girl even though you said it.”

  I push her hand off of my head, “I-I know it isn't!”

  “Oh come on , you barely got it out and you whispered the freaking word.”

  I cross my arms and huff at her, “You're not being very nice to me tonight.”

  Akane sighs, “You're right. I'm sorry. The truth is…I don't want to deal with this Ichiro thing. So I'm being silly and teasing you.”

  I uncross my arms, “What do you mean?”

  She frowns, “I don't want people to know about me, y'know? And any time this happens…I'm worried people will figure it out. I mean, everyone in css today was talking about the fact that I've never had a boyfriend. That's like the first step towards them finding out. A-and…it freaked me out.”

  “Oh. I see what you mean. I-it's come up before?”

  She nods, “I've turned a couple guys down. Makes it through the grapevine pretty quickly around here. I've said…I want to focus on school. But…”

  “You're worried if it happens again people will know?”

  Akane nods, “I'm paranoid about it probably. But…it's like…my biggest fear. Everyone knowing I'm gay. So…I can't shake being worried any time this happens.”

  “I-It must be so hard. Having secret retionships. Not letting people know that whole part of you.”

  She frowns, “It really is. That's why I'm so gd I have you. No one else knows the real me. Well, except Misha.”

  “What would happen? If people knew, I mean.”

  Akane sighs and hugs herself, “Well, I'd probably be expelled, to start with.”

  My jaw drops, “E-expelled?”

  She nods, “Yamaku is good with disabilities. Not so good with this.” She sighs, “I guess I can't say for sure. The rules say any kind of sexual retionship or activity on campus is against the rules, but that's never really enforced. But…I think gay stuff is more likely to get punished. I think they'd find a reason.”

  “That's not fair.”

  She ughs wryly, “Tell me about it. Even if I didn't get expelled, everyone would look at me differently. Homosexuality is still so taboo in this country. I mean…if I ever meet the girl of my dreams, it isn't like we can get married, you know?”

  I frown, “I…I hadn't thought about that. So…your whole life, you'll have to keep it a secret?”

  She sighs, “I don't know. When I was…with Misha, I thought about our future some. It was pretty depressing. Maybe we'd live together and cim to be ‘room-mates,’ or something like that.”

  “I hate this.”

  She ughs, “I didn't think you could hate anything.”

  “W-well I hate this! You aren't allowed to be with the person you love. And tell people about it. I always…think about my future. F-falling in love with a guy, living with him, getting married, having a baby…I-it isn't right that you can't have any of that. Not like I can. Love’s something everyone should have.”

  I clench my eyes shut as I feel a few tears coming. I'm too te, and a few run down my cheeks.

  She's the one who has to deal with it and I'm the one crying. I'm such a child.

  Akane puts her arm over my shoulders so I open my eyes. She wipes my tears and then smiles at me, “Well…you make me feel a little better about it. Maybe…there are enough people like you out there. Maybe it will get better in the future.”

  “I hope so. I think…if it doesn't, you should move somewhere else. I think love is just…so important for people to be happy.”

  Akane chuckles, “Too bad you don't like girls. We could run away together to a lesbian utopia.”

  “Wh-what?!”

  She giggles and ruffles my hair, “I'm just kidding. Calm down. Although how red you just turned is pretty cute.”

  I frown at her as my only response.

  She sighs, “Sorry, sorry. I'm trying to change the subject again.” She puts a hand on my shoulder, “Seriously, truly. It means a lot that you don’t only accept me. You also really feel for me. You…imagine what it would be like in my shoes and all that.”

  I nod, “Of course. You're my friend and I want you to be happy and…it sounds so hard for you. Anyway, if teasing me helps you feel better…I can put up with it.”

  Akane ughs, “No, no. I've been mean enough for the night.”

  I'm heading to the costume shop for club activities. I stop, though, when I see a familiar face waving to me on the other side of the sidewalk. I should probably go over to him because of his cane.

  I cross the grass and say, “H-hey Ichiro, you need something?”

  “Can I…talk to you about something?”

  Was Akane right? I better keep my guard up in case.

  “Um…s-sure. I have to get to club but I have a few minutes.”

  We take a seat on a bench and I make sure we are sitting as far apart as possible.

  He ughs, “I know css rep has you weary of me. And…I guess I did hit on you on the first day of the trimester. But, I'm not trying to do any of that. I really just want to talk.”

  I nod for him to continue.

  “You're pretty tight with the css rep, right?”

  I nod, “We hang out most nights.”

  “Good, that's what I want to talk about.”

  I gesture for him to continue. I'm still unsure if he's being genuine. I don't want to be as gullible as Akane thinks I am.

  He sighs, “I never really realized it until Madoka made that stupid little joke. But…I do like Akane. I've always thought she was cute. Made pissing her off more fun” He ughs and then sighs, “But I think…it's actual feelings now.”

  It seems like the truth to me.

  “What makes you think it's different now?"

  “I find myself…wanting to spend time with her. Wanting to get to know her for real.” He smiles, “I mean, I know all the best ways to piss her off, but I'd like to know other stuff too. Her favorite food, her pns after Yamaku.” His face flushes, “I…don't have a chance, do I. She hates my guts, right?”

  “Sh-she…doesn't hate you.”

  He ughs wryly, “You didn't answer the other question.”

  I frown and look down at my hands.

  Akane is worried people might find out about her if she has to turn him down. But…it isn't like she's going to date him either, so there isn't really any other option.

  I can answer his question without revealing anything.

  This is gonna hurt him. But Akane would probably be really mean about it.

  I look back up at him, “Y-you’re right. You don't have a chance. I’m sorry.”

  He sighs, “Kinda figured. Still sucks to hear it. Guess I shouldn't have been such a jerk to her all through high school.”

  “I’m sorry. I-if you want to talk about it, we can. B-but I bet you don't want to talk to her friend.”

  He nods, “Yeah, thanks. But I have people to talk to. Thanks for being straight with me.” He stands up and gives me a wave, “Talk to you ter.”

  …

  “What?! Seriously?”

  Akane's in my room, and I just told her what happened with Ichiro today.

  I nod, “Don't worry, I told him he didn't have a chance.”

  Suddenly there's a look of panic on her face, “Y-you didn't tell him why , right?”

  I cross my arms and frown at her.

  “I-I'm just checking! You're not much of a liar, so…I need an answer.”

  “No. I didn't tell him. I wasn't sure what to say…but he asked if he had a chance and I said no. Are you worried?”

  She sighs, “A little. But…oh well. It can't be helped. You turning him down for me is better, I think. I'm sure it will be fine. These guys need to stop confessing. Would make my life easier.”

  “You know, I have never had a boy confess. This is the closest I've ever been.”

  She looks genuinely stunned, “S-seriously?”

  I nod.

  “Well, I'd be surprised if that's true by the end of the year. Ichiro didn't try anything funny?”

  “I don't think so. He's coming by in 20 minutes to talk about his feelings, though. He said he's most comfortable talking on a bed in a girl's dorm.”

  I almost ughed at the end. Gd I held it in.

  For a moment, Akane's eyes get wide but then she ughs.

  “You almost had me. But you have a silly smile on your face and sounded like you were about to crack up ughing at the end. Might wanna work on that as a budding actress.”

  Just as Akane finishes making fun of me, my phone rings on my nightstand, making both of us jump.

  It’s too early for my daily phone call with my parents.

  Akane is sitting closer to my phone and picks it up and looks at it, “It looks like it’s…Kotomi-chan?”

  Of course that's how she put her name in my phone.

  “Oh! I haven’t heard from her in a little while. I should probably take it.”

  Akane nods, “Do you want me to go?”

  “Only if you want to.”

  Akane shakes her head, “I’ll stay and work on some homework.”

  I nod and then answer the call, “H-hi, Kotomi-chan”

  “Nagisa. It is good to hear your voice.”

  “Y-yours too.”

  “I'm on the way home from university and I was thinking of you. I wanted to say…I miss you.”

  I smile, “I miss you too.”

  “How has your health been?”

  “Good so far. I worry I'll get sick…but the medical staff here is nice. And prepared for it.”

  “That's wonderful. I'm very happy for you.”

  “Yes, i-it's thanks to you that things are going so much better.”

  “I'm gd I helped. You've helped me quite a lot too. That's what friends do.”

  “Yes, that's right. How are things for you?”

  “Lovely. I'm enjoying university very much. I can spend all my time in the library and get praised for it here! No one thinks I'm strange. And there have been no bullies.”

  I chuckle, “That's great.”

  “I am almost home. Tomoya is supposed to have dinner ready for me. Can you believe it?”

  “N-no…I really can't. You um…really have turned him into a good man.”

  She ughs, “He was always good. He was when we were little too. He just talked like a bully sometimes. He never really was one.”

  I feel a few tears run down my cheek. Embarrassed, I turn away from Akane.

  “Y-yeah. You’re right.”

  “Okay, I’m going to go. It was lovely speaking with you. I’m gd things seem to be going well there. Let's talk again, okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m gd things are going well for you too.”

  I hang up the phone and wipe my tears with my sleeve. When I turn around, I notice that Akane is looking at me with concern. I smile at her

  “I…don’t think I like this ‘Kotomi-chan.’” She does a childish high-pitched voice and makes quotes with her fingers when she says her name.

  “What? Why?”

  “She made you cry. What’d she say to you!?”

  “H-how do you know I cried?”

  “Even from behind I could tell you were wiping away tears. What did she do to make you cry?! I'll call her back if I have to.”

  “N-nothing. She was just updating me about her life. Some of it…hurts a little. She’s the friend who ended up with the boy I’m in love with. Tomoya.”

  Akane raises her eyebrows, “Then…why talk to her at all?”

  I smile, “Because she’s my friend.”

  Akane scoffs, “You’re too nice. How can you be friends with the person who stole away the person you love?”

  I ugh, “I-it wasn’t like that. I didn’t have him. So…she didn't steal him. I never told him I loved him. Never told her, either.”

  “Oh. Well…I still don’t like that she made you cry. Even if she doesn’t know it. So…I still don’t like her.”

  “But she’s the reason I’m here and doing better with my health.”

  Akane raises an eyebrow, “How?”

  “Well…she’s a genius. Like a real genius. She'll have her first college degree at the end of this year.”

  Akane's eyes get wide and she gestures for me to continue.

  “When I got sick st time she did a bunch of research and figured out what my doctors needed to do.”

  “Oh.” She pauses for a moment and then frowns, “Dammit. You’re making this complicated! I just want to hate her!”

  I giggle, “Sorry.”

  “Ugh, fine . I guess I like her.”

  “Why are you mad about it?”

  “She’s with the guy you’re in love with. It's like my duty to hate her but…I’m also really gd you transferred here so we could be friends. And I am gd you are doing better with your health. So I’ll give her a pass. I’m noble like that.”

  I ugh, “Gd to hear it.”

  I'm in the library doing some research on wartime Japan. I'm sitting at a table with three books. One about women's lives in the time period, one about Hiroshima during and after the war, and one about fashion at the time. That st one might sound silly compared to the other two, but I am helping Chiyo with costumes.

  I'm also trying to get in my character's head, like Ken said. I already knew that it was a difficult time to be alive, but diving deeper into the time period makes me feel really bad for my character. There was so much violence and death. And she died because of that war. So did her entire family apart from her daughter. I have a hard time understanding why anyone on either side thought going to war was a good idea.

  My thoughts are interrupted by a friendly, “Hey there.”

  I look up and smile at my friend who is holding a few books of his own, “Hi, Daiki.”

  He smiles, “Hard at work I see. You do know you can take the books out of the library, right?”

  “Yes, I do. But I'm also waiting for someone.”

  “Chiyo?”

  “No.”

  “Akane?”

  I shake my head.

  He raises an eyebrow, “Meeting up with a guy who left you a confession note in your shoe locker?”

  “Wh-what?! No. Th-that…doesn't happen to me.”

  “ That's an obvious lie. If you want me to get lost to meet your potential paramour, I can.”

  “P-paramour?”

  He ughs, “Okay, if it's not any of that, who are you meeting?”

  I gnce towards the bean bags, “I don't know her name. But there was a girl here who recommended Living with Father , and I was going to tell her we’d be doing it and invite her to come. I thought maybe she was here a lot…she reminded me a bit of a friend who spent all her time in the library.”

  He looks towards where I’m looking, “Ah, I see. A girl with long dark hair?”

  I nod, “You know her?”

  He shakes his head, “I’m in the library a lot and so is she. But we’ve never spoken and I don't know her name. She started showing up here st year though, so I think she’s a second year.”

  “I see. Well, if she's here that much, I’ll have another chance to invite her.”

  “That's true. Pretty amazing she spoke to you. I’ve tried greeting her since we see eachother so much. I gave up real fast because she didn't ever respond. I’ve never seen her talk to anyone else, either. I thought maybe she was deaf or mute.”

  “She spoke to me. But in a very quiet whisper, and with a book covering her face. And she was very uncomfortable.”

  He frowns, “I see. So it's probably…anxiety. Well…gd I left her alone, then.”

  I stand up and start putting my books away, “Well, I’ll try again another time.”

  “You want to go get a bite to eat in the cafeteria?”

  I smile, “Sure.”

  Daiki and I leave the library together. I’m heading towards the elevator, assuming that's best for him since he has a cane. But Daiki turns towards the stairs, surprising me.

  “Sh-shouldn't we take the elevator, just to be safe?”

  Daiki ftly says, “I never use the elevator. This is fine.”

  “O-okay. B-but…it's right there. Why don't you want to use it?”

  He snaps at me, “Does it matter? I said I don't need to. That all that matters, Nagisa.”

  I clench my eyes shut, so I don't have to see how angry he is, “Y-you’re right. I'm sorry.”

  He sighs and gently says, “You don't need to say sorry. You're trying to look out for me and I was a jerk about it. I'm the one who’s sorry.”

  I open my eyes and see that he has a gentle smile, which makes me feel better.

  “Well…I still think I need to apologize. I need to do better at trusting you about this kind of thing. I keep annoying you.”

  He smiles, “Well, maybe a little. But I know you mean well. Either way, you don't deserve to be spoken to that way.”

  I nod and smile back, “Okay. So we’re both sorry. Shall we go down the stairs now?”

  He nods, “You really don't need to worry. I always do the stairs with my cane. No problems so far. I go nice and slow and hold on to the bar, I promise.”

  I nod and get ready to go down the stairs but Daiki says, “Let me go first, though. If I do fall, I don't want to take you out with me.”

  I frown at him and he ughs, “It’s mostly a joke. But better safe than sorry.”

  I want to say “Using the elevator is better safe than sorry too!” But I know he won't listen.

  “Is it…okay if I choose the same color as yours?”

  It’s Sunday evening and I'm in Chiyo's room. We spent most of the day in the club room working on costumes. When we got back to the dorms, she offered to do my nails again.

  She ughs, “Yeah, why wouldn't it be?”

  “M-maybe you don't want to match with me.”

  “I actually think it’d be pretty cute if we matched. It's a little dorky too, but that's okay.”

  I ugh as she starts to paint my nails bright red like hers.

  I have a question I've wanted to ask for a while, but we haven't been alone together in private very often.

  “How are things with Ken?”

  She sighs, “More of the same. I just can't find the courage.”

  “Well…now that I've seen more of you together…I think he might like you too. I know…that doesn't solve all your problems.”

  She smiles, “It helps some. I think he does, sometimes. So it's good to hear from the outside.”

  She finishes my nails and sighs, “I think maybe I'm just making excuses at this point, but I was thinking it'd be best to wait until after we're done with the py, anyway.”

  I nod, “That makes sense.”

  “Does it? It doesn't sound like I'm trying to put it off?”

  “No. It will give you more time doing your romantic scenes together, so hopefully it gets easier for you.”

  “Yeah, and no matter how it goes, I think it might be a distraction for us during the performance.”

  “That's true, too.”

  “Yeah, we got some news recently that makes it a little more high stakes, too.”

  I don't like the sound of that. I don’t know if I can handle extra pressure.

  “Wh-what do you mean?”

  “You know that student acting troupe we were in st summer?”

  I nod.

  “Well, the guy who was the director of that is now the director of a real acting troupe. Like, one that pays. He and some of his colleagues are coming to the py. And…if they like it, Ken and I might have jobs come Spring.”

  I start to feel a little queasy.

  “O-oh. That's…good.”

  She frowns at me, “You're very pale. Are you feeling okay?”

  This is an amazing opportunity for them. I don't need to make her feel bad about this.

  I smile, “It just made me a little nervous. B-but I'm more excited than nervous. That's great!”

  She smiles, “Yeah, making money as an actor is pretty hard. So…I want to do it while I can, even if it only sts a year or something. And even if the pay is bad. Ken does too.”

  What if I get sick and they can't do the py at all? What happens then!? Will I ruin their lives?

  I force another smile, “W-well…I hope you get to do that, then.”

  I just hope I don't weigh you down and ruin your future.