Chapter Seven: You Put Up With Me

  In his room once more, Elijah hugged his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth in quiet horror as he relived the last hour.

  “I killed a man,” he whispered to himself maniacally. “I killed a man.”

  Technically, it wasn’t a man, his Guide provided. If you look on the bright side, it was only an ódauelegur.

  “That doesn’t help,” Elijah replied bitterly. It looked enough like a man for Elijah to feel the guilt. “What did you do when you killed a man for the first time?”

  Except for cutting off its head and using it as a trophy?

  “What is an ódauthelegur or whatever you said?”

  ódauelegur. And I already explained the basics, and I don’t know how to explain it much more. They are a species, much like us humans, who rule over Valínor. Long have we had a love-hate relationship with the country, and often one challenges the other. While us humans are more numerous than they are, the ódauelegur are stronger, and the only reason we have not been taken over is that fact they are scared of us.

  “They? Of us? Seems like it should be the other way around?”

  The ódauelegur would never kill for killing's sake. They have bounds, something that we as humans often do not.

  Elijah felt the tension and guilt slide off his body like goo as he talked to his Guide. While he still felt its presence like a lingering shadow, he couldn’t deny that a good conversation worked wonders.

  Naturally, something had to ruin the moment. A knock resounded through the door, and Eva’s voice rang.

  “Lord Thomas is here to see you, your majesty. Shall I bring him up to your room or shall you meet him at the ballroom?”

  Tell her you’ll meet him at the ballroom.

  Opening the door, Elijah did just that, and Eva bowed immediately.

  “It is good to see you back from exploring the fifteenth district. But I must say, I did not expect you back so quickly. If I may be so bold,” She continued, “Why did you return?”

  “I was feeling a little off,” Elijah responded. “But I feel much better now.”

  “Seems so. Someone was the reason for the dead ódauelegur.”

  Elijah winced. “Yes. It was an assassin and I had to deal with it. It is gone now, and good riddance. Has someone been sent to clean it up?”

  “Yes, your majesty,” Eva said. “They are removing the body as we speak. Soon, the palace will be as spotless as we found it.”

  Good job, you’re doing great. Now, don’t say or do something stupid like—-

  Elijah bowed his head as Eva began to leave, trying not to stare, but his Guide—and the maid, unfortunately—noticed what he was doing. A strange noise that sounded like a poor imitation of a face-slap resounded in his head, the Guide clearly showing him her disapproval of what he had done.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Eva asked, smiling slightly. “I’ve never seen you look so vividly, not even at Thomas.”

  Elijah blushed. “I was just thinking. It is not your place to say something so improper.”

  NO! Don’t say anything like that. You stupid man-woman-princess-ass hybrid!

  Eva squeaked and jumped up. “Sorry, your highness. I didn’t mean to—-forgive me, please.” Bowing, the maid began to back away.

  “No, I’m sorry,” Elijah groaned. “I’m tired, and you know how I get when I’m tired. You may go.”

  Eva dashed away as fast as her feet could carry her, and Elijah shook his princessly head.

  When am I ever going to get used to this? He wondered.

  Never, at this rate.

  Can you show at least a little positivity?

  Fine. You might figure it out in a million years!

  Whatever.

  Elijah traveled down to the ballroom, making only a few—hundred!— mistakes along the way, and Thomas was already there, waiting for him. By all accounts, Thomas was hot, with his chiseled jawline, sharp nose, long eyebrows, and banged hair leading down to his shoulder. He was wearing a wonderful black suit, and he smiled at Elijah with a well-positioned mouth and pearly white teeth that glinted.

  Ew, no, he thought. My heart is not fluttering and I am not falling in love with a guy. He’s the definition of a pick me.

  Well, he is your boyfriend, came the always-ready response. You should fall in love with him, it’s in your best interests.

  Thomas met Elijah halfway down the ballroom and hugged him fiercely.

  Very muscly, very handsome, Guide Amanda noted. Boyfriend-material, huh?

  HOW SHOULD I KNOW? Elijah screamed in his head.

  Thomas let him go and stared deep into his eyes, which creeped him out, but he didn’t say anything as he had already made enough mistakes that day.

  “How are you, my princess?” He said, bowing. “Sorry for the breach of decorum, but I was just so excited to see you, and longed for your touch.”

  That was so cheesy. How do you put up with this guy?

  It’s your turn now, the Guide said. Have fun! It’s sweet, you’ll see. I’d advise you to respond now, and formally, please. We don’t want your boyfriend thinking something’s wrong with you, because that’s when you know you need help!

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  “I, too, have missed you, Lord Thomas,” Elijah said somewhat sarcastically, trying not to cringe despite himself. “So all is forgiven. Is that all you came here for? To feel and flatter me?”

  “Is that not a fantastic reason?” Thomas winked at the princess, who in his head was desperately trying to contain the swooning guide and the vomit climbing up his throat. “But, no, seeing you is not the only reason I have traveled to your wonderful abode. You see, there are a few important events knocking on my life’s door, and I must attend to them, but you must be by my side, Amy.”

  He calls me Amy? Oh God, who the hell were you dating?

  Just appreciate the man, he’s sincere.

  How old is he?

  Eighteen.

  At least the age gap is fine, you were scaring me for a second.

  “Come with me,” He said out loud to the Lord. “If there is much we must attend to, then much we shall talk. That did not make a lot of sense. I do need to think about what I say before I say it.”

  “I think it’s sweet,” Lord Thomas offered.

  “Coming from you, that’s an insult,” Princess Amanda Gold, the lovable, sweet, nice princess whispered under her breath so only her aroused and pissed Guide heard it. Aloud, though, he kept a loving demeanor. “Thank you, Thomas.”

  “Shall we go then?”

  “We shall.”

  “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company in my room?” My private room!

  “I need your help,” the Lord’s heir told him. “As you must know, my father has been, how shall we say it, lazy, as of late, and my family has been losing its high political status. I know it's much to ask, but if you could extend your welcome to my family, I would be grateful.” Thomas looked down like he had something to hide. “I understand it’s a strange thing to ask of the one I’m courting, but I’m desperate. My family needs you, Amy.”

  What the hell is this man-child talking about, oh wise and omniscient guide?”

  I don’t like your sarcasm, Mr. I hate men even though I am one. To answer your question, the man you are dating is lord Thomas Penrose!

  Penrose? That makes his name even worse!

  Listen up, or the Penrose will be wondering why you’re so quiet all of a sudden. The Penroses have always been a family of high standing, and last year, they were actually the highest standing family, except for us, obviously. Strangely, their father became secluded for mysterious reasons half a year ago, and their family tried to explain it away, saying he was sick, but he never came back. After a while, he began to rule his house purely unseen, and that did not go well for their standing, and now the Penrose family has been losing its status, like Thomas told you. He has been dating us for almost two years now, and still we get no clear answer from him! That family knows more than they care to admit, but we can never prove it.

  What should I do then?

  “Um, Amy? Your highness?” Thomas asked, his face desperate and concerned. “May I know your answer?”

  Gently prod him to give you the real reason why the dad vanished. Gently.

  “Why did your dad become such a xenophobe?” Elijah asked Thomas. “What’s the reason, Tommy?”

  I SAID GENTLY!

  That was gentle! If I wanted to make it rough, I would’ve punched the boy!

  Oh, God, you are a terrible princess.

  You’re only just now realizing that, wise guide?

  Standing up roughly, Thomas backed away from Elijah, coughing softly and staring at him sadly, his face showing hurt and concealment.

  “I’m not hiding anything!” Thomas shrieked. “I’ve told you that before, and still you don’t believe me. What is your problem, Amy? I thought we would trust each other?”

  Good job, dumbass, now you’ve rankled the poor, sweet bastard.

  Bastard he may be, but he is not poor or sweet, Elijah retorted.

  “You’re right, I apologize for my actions, as they were inconsiderate and improper,” Elijah said robotically to the now-mollified Lord. “I am just a little uptight due to all the circumstances that I may or may not be able to share, very confidential, you know.” I’m tired of all this apologizing, the Guide groaned.

  “I understand,” Lord Thomas bowed. “I apologize, too, for acting up like I did. It is not proper for someone in my place to shout at his princess.” Grabbing Elijah’s hand, the eighteen-year-old kneeled down and kissed it.

  Gross!

  I know you thought that felt good!

  Elijah blushed and looked away, causing Thomas to smile proudly.

  “So shall you do it, Amy, supporting my family and helping it out of the rapidly growing pit we ourselves dug from our own stupidity?”

  “I shall!” Elijah exclaimed. “I, Princess, Amanda Gold, because that’s who I am and have always been and will always be, maybe, vow that the next chance that I get, I will support and raise the Penrose family and bring it out of their own, and your ow,n stupidity, that is so stupid that they need my help to get out. Like, can you imagine such stupidity? I—”

  “That’s enough,” Thomas laughed. “I think we all understood. Still, thank you for making me laugh.”

  Ha! He thinks me funny!

  I thought you didn’t like him?

  That’s exactly why I said that! No one in their right mind ever finds me funny.

  Left, then?

  Huh?

  Never mind. You wouldn’t get it, you uncultured swine.

  No, I got it. It just wasn’t funny.

  “Now, what are your other reasons for pleasuring me today?” Oh, hell, that sounded wrong? What is wrong with me today?

  I think you’re in love!

  Say that one more time, and I promise you I will find your soul and torture it in ways you can’t even imagine, and you’ll be begging me to stop, but I won’t, because—

  You’re in love?

  You little piece of—

  Look what you did to poor Tommy!

  The poor Tommy was flushed, staring at the ground, clearly embarrassed, but trying not to show it.

  “Once again, I must apologize,” Elija told him. “I did not mean that statement in the way I said it.”

  “I know what you meant,” Lord Thomas replied, recovering quickly. “If you just know, I was blushing for another reason. In fact, for a much more exciting reason, and for that I am very nervous. Amy, Amanda, Princess Gold, I feel we have gotten to know ourselves so well in the last few years, and I don’t think what I shall do is impulsive at all.”

  Lord Thomas Penrose got down on one knee and a hand went to his pocket, causing Elijah to blanch in shock and horror as he realized what was about to inevitably happen.

  Oh, hell! Guide Amanda exclaimed, mirroring Elijah’s own thoughts as Thomas pulled a diamond ring from his pocket and held it out to Princess Amanda Gold, who on the inside was secretly not who he thought she was.

  “Will you marry me, my princess?”

  Fuck!