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The auditions

  Characters:

  ? Taehyung: The billionaire, handsome, a bit cynical, and desperate.

  ? Jino: Taehyung's assistant, professional and increasingly exasperated.

  ? (In order of appearance):

  ? Candidate 1: Brenda: The comedian.

  ? Candidate 2: Arthur: The Nervous Nelly.

  ? Candidate 3: Anya: The Emotionless Robot.

  ? Candidate 4: Stella: The Pop Star Wannabe.

  ? Candidate 5: Tiffany: The Gum-Chewing Diva.

  ? Candidate 6: Carol: The Incessant Giggler.

  ? Candidate 7: Ms. Golddigger: The Utterly Transparent.

  ? Candidate 8: Lee Minji: The seemingly normal one.

  (Scene opens with Brenda standing before Taehyung and jino.)

  Brenda: (Strikes a dramatic pose) So, Mr. Kim, I hear you're looking for a wife? Well, I'm here to tell you, I'm wife material! I can cook, I can clean, and I can tell a joke that'll make your mother-in-law choke on her kimchi! (Winks) Get it? Because Koreans eat kimchi?

  Taehyung: (Deadpan) Yes, I got it.

  Jino: (Clears throat) Ms. Brenda, while we appreciate… your enthusiasm… this is a serious matter.

  Brenda: Serious? Oh, honey, life's too short to be serious! I'm here to add some spice to your life! Think of me as your walking sitcom!

  Taehyung: I'd prefer a drama. Something… less comedic. Next!

  (Arthur shuffles in, nervously adjusting his tie.)

  Arthur: M-Mr. Kim? I-It's an honor. I-I've always admired Apex… from afar, of course. I-I mean, not like a stalker! Just… admiring. I-I brought a resume. Four copies! Just in case.

  Jino: (Takes a resume with a weary sigh) Thank you, Arthur.

  Taehyung: Can you handle pressure? This situation is… delicate.

  Arthur: Pressure? Oh, no. Not at all. I-I usually faint. Or throw up. Sometimes both! Is there a bathroom nearby? Just in case…

  Taehyung: (Rubs his temples) Next! Please, just… next!

  (Anya walks in, her face expressionless. She speaks in a monotone.)

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Anya: Candidate Anya Petrova. Parameters for the agreement received and analyzed. Probability of successful execution: 87.3%.

  Taehyung: You… analyzed this?

  Anya: Precisely. My emotional output is minimal. I will not impede your business operations. I will efficiently manage the child's care according to the provided medical protocols.

  Taehyung: (Intrigued but unnerved) And… love? Compassion?

  Anya: Irrelevant. I can simulate appropriate behavior if required.

  Jino: Uh, Mr. Kim, I don't think…

  Taehyung: (Sighs) Next. I need a human being.

  (Stella bursts in, holding a microphone.)

  Stella: (Singing) "I wanna marry a billionaire, so I can live in style! Give me diamonds and mansions, that's my profile!" (Strikes a pose) So, Mr. Kim, what do you think of my audition?

  Taehyung: (Confused) Audition? For what?

  Stella: "Marry Me, Billionaire"! It's gonna be the show of the year! I'm Stella Starr, and I'm here to win your heart… and a recording contract!

  Jino: (Whispering to Taehyung) I think she’s confused.

  Taehyung: (To Stella) I think you're in the wrong place. There's no show.

  Stella: Pfft! That's what they all say! I'll see you at the finale! ( and exits)

  (Tiffany saunters in, chewing gum loudly and snapping .)

  Tiffany: Mr. Kim, heard you're lookin' for a trophy wife. Well, here I am. Top shelf.

  Taehyung: (Stares at her gum) And your qualifications?

  Tiffany: (Pops her gum) , I'm trendy, and I know how to spend money. Plus, I look great in designer clothes. What more do you want?

  Jino: (Whispering to Taehyung) She has a point about looking good in clothes…

  Taehyung: No, Jino! I need someone to care for a sick child, not a fashion consultant. Next!

  (Carol enters, immediately bursting into uncontrollable laughter.)

  Carol: (Between gasps of laughter) Oh my… the pressure… fake marriage… so funny… adopted daughter… billionaire… (Continues laughing hysterically)

  Taehyung: (Frowning) Are you alright?

  Carol: (Wipes tears from her eyes) I'm so sorry… it's just… everything… so ridiculous… (Starts laughing again)

  Taehyung: (To Jino) I’m going to lose my sanity! This could be worse than my stock options. Next! Before I start laughing too.

  (Ms. Gaung walks in, wearing an outfit that screams "expensive.")

  Ms. Gaung: Mr. Kim, darling! Let's cut to the chase. What's the allowance? And how many credit cards do I get?

  Taehyung: (Sighs deeply) You're not even going to pretend?

  Ms. Gaung: Pretend what? That I'm here for your sparkling personality? Please. I have standards. My last sugar daddy had a yacht the size of a small island.

  Jino: (Muttering) At least she’s honest.

  Taehyung: Get out. Now.

  (Lee Minji walks in, dressed simply but elegantly. She smiles warmly.)

  Lee Minji: Hello, Mr. Kim. My name is Lee Minji. I understand the… unusual circumstances. I've read about your daughter, and I'm very sorry to hear about her illness.

  Taehyung: (Intrigued) You're… not laughing? Or demanding a diamond tiara?

  Lee Minji: (Chuckles softly) No, sir. I'm a registered nurse. I believe I can provide the care your daughter needs. And if a stable home environment helps her recovery, I'm willing to contribute. As for the… business arrangement, I understand the necessity.

  Taehyung: (Leans forward, finally showing some genuine interest) Tell me more about your experience with children with rare diseases.

  (Jino stops taking notes and looks at Taehyung with a glimmer of hope. The scene fades as Taehyung begins a genuine conversation with Lee Minji.)

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