'Born to live, live to learn, learn to work. Science being the backbone of modern civilization makes it inevitable for everybody to learn.

  Everybody knows this thing called "math" is the culprit after all, no sane human being can live just by learning complicated formulas with their damned symbols.’

  These are the musings of that student who gets himself entangled in the world of science not out of choice, but out of compulsion.

  Not for a drop of water in the ocean, not for a grain of dust in the desert, not even for all the atoms in the universe; there is not the slightest fondness from him for something with the name SCIENCE.

  He did not have any love for the science he studied; to him, science was only a means to a better job.

  He was born in a very poor orphanage and grew up like any other child in an orphanage way too early.

  Yet he had never felt that place to be his home, a place where all along he was supposed to be at home. Probably because he was a bastard, or probably because he realized that gratitude not accompanied by tangible help, like money, was only a bunch of empty words.

  Mornings bring tasks, and evenings bring study time.

  There is no room to play, and even free time becomes precious just to relax a tired and stiff body.

  Of course, days that one can truly enjoy with loved ones only come once in a while, like rare cloudy weather. One can't keep working all the time, however, because in the end, there's no avoiding the psychological scars that follow.

  Just as the starfish said, 'life isn't fair'; he felt strong resentment from this endless routine, working and studying without knowing really what he wanted was very depressing.

  He realized beating people up doesn't really help much. Thus, with a tightness in heart, he persists at working and studying since survival is only an option in this world.

  One year after another melted in silent monotony, performing the same ritual over and over till he finally became a university student. Not a genius who could get everything he wished for with ease, yet neither was he that stupid type of guy. In other words, no scholarship.

  James has several friends besides the people at the orphanage and he often helps the people at the orphanage by setting his salary aside at times.

  Knowing this might worsen the case, considering his limited condition, he tried to return the favor; that was just him: always giving more when there wasn't much to give in the first place.

  Even then, there wasn't any intent in his heart to be some kind of hero. He had helped simply because he felt that the act interested him, something he might like in this world.

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  Being the never to give up type of guy, James had never felt that all along he had lived 29 solitary years of his life without ever experiencing what people call love. His life of struggle and determination just flowed on, as if time was passing by without making room for lighter personal matters.

  Due to financial constraints, it took years for him to save up and accumulate enough funds to enter university and be able to fulfill these humble dreams of his.

  His friends used to call him Jeans which was only a tease for him who was a virgin and almost always wore bulky jeans.

  Though there are other reasons, first they used to call him James/Jam then Jean and then aggravated to Jeans.

  It was really not funny, even James never laughed at his friend's bad jokes, or maybe he is just sour faced from tasting too much bitterness in life.

  Working or studying, his bluish jeans with the plain black t-shirt had always been the marks that identified James. Jeans, to him, were accursed not because of some stupid nickname he kept coming up with (he really did not care about those cheap jokes coming from his friends) but because they never let him feel comfortable.

  You might ask, why does he continue to wear those evil pants that he despises? The answer is simple: because he is poor. Jeans, while unpleasant, last much longer than softer cotton pants, and to James, durability is something far more important than momentary comfort.

  The construction workers, fishermen, delivery men, janitors, farmers, restaurant services, parking attendants, porters, event workers, warehouse workers, drivers of several vehicles; not only that, he also has to learn various sciences such as natural and social sciences.

  James is the pure definition of a Jack of all Trades, even so, the top level skills he possesses are only a few fingers away.

  He repeated this ritual day in and day out, from the first moment his eyes laid hold of letters in a book, without stopping.

  Day by day, his body was worn out by constraint-as if it were a fuel being used relentlessly.

  Every drop of sweat, every bit of exhaustion came along in an endless circle for a cause that he doesn't always understand but one which he pursues relentlessly.

  The completion of all compulsory subjects; sufficient credit points; passing final exams or assignments (thesis or thesis); possessing a minimum cumulative GPA as set by the faculty; attendance of a graduation hearing; administrative fee payments and/or tuition arrears; other requirements as designated by the department or study program; completion of practicum or other activities which are compulsory in nature; academic ethics standards fulfillment at the university… That's another torture list for the poor human named James.

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  Gothic style buildings rise high with ancient mossy stones, colored glass reflecting the sunbeams around the ceremony area, while huge stone towers loom as if they witness every step taken in silence.

  Facing the vast field in the far distance under the broad blue sky, neat long wooden chairs were placed with dark colored cloths, adding solemnity to the impression. Expectant guests sat upon them, all in their formal wear, while at the center stood a great podium, beautifully engraved with the university crest.

  Behind the podium, the university flag struggled upward in the air, led by a gentle breeze.

  While around, in large pots, brightly colored flowers were neatly arranged and bloomed, adding life to the atmosphere that was also filled with calm and respect.

  It was the turn of the black toga and robe wearing graduates to move forward one by one with steady steps; their faces full of hope, sparkling eyes, and proud smiles. On that turn, having walked across rows of chairs towards the podium full of confidence, often lifting their gazes up into the families between the chair rows, with thunderous applause beaming with great excitement; when at the podium already, graduation diplomas were taken and moved backward in deepest gratitude, filled with unstoppable happiness.

  "Next, we invite James, who has studied at ### and achieved outstanding performance in ###, ###, ###... We proudly invite him on stage to collect the diploma which opens a whole new door towards life," the respectful feminine lecturer said in her mature voice.

  In the mood of celebration, no one cared about James, who kept his head down through the entire event.

  The crowd moved along joyfully, the air filled with laughter and chatter, while James was in their midst, nothing more than a forgotten shadow.

  James is dead.