I didn't imagine that the tower could feel darker than the day of the attack, but a film of death and desecration coated all I saw after I spoke with the rogue warriors. Nash dealt with them after I left as the War Chief, disciplining their wayward actions, and speaking his own mind to them. I didn't stay a moment longer than I needed to after I confronted them. They betrayed our kingdom.

  Immediately, I descended the stairs to find the caregivers who tended to Finn while we were busy. I nearly ran to him, but didn't want to alarm anyone who saw me. When I opened the door and heard him softly crying, the sound of him ripped open all the wounds battering my heart.

  "I'm here," I said, rushing to him. These were perfectly normal tears, but I was his mother, and I wanted to be the one to soothe him. So often, I needed to leave him in the care of others. Today, seeing those poor children, I was more desperate than ever to hold my son close. Once I reached for him, I realized that it was Elara beside him, and not any of his usual caregivers.

  "He's had a fresh change," she said as she finished wrapping his blanket around him and tucked it in with the ease of a woman who swaddled many babies in her life. "Mommy is here," she whispered. "You called and she came running."

  "Elara…" This dear woman laid her son to rest this week. Even imagining doing that to Finn one made me feel faint.

  With a gentle smile, she settled Finn in my arms and gazed down at him. "What a perfect little boy."

  "I didn't know you were still here. I'm so sorry–"

  "None of that." She placed her hand over mine. "Finn needs you. This is your time with him."

  Tears sprinkled onto my cheeks. I didn't anticipate it or stop it in time. What was I doing crying in front of this woman whose son just died? I lowered my head, aghast at losing control like this.

  "A baby is a precious gift." Elara trailed her finger along Finn's cheek. "There is no shame in how they make us feel. New life, innocent, saves us from losing sight of light when the darkness swarms our world. Thank you for letting me share in this gift."

  "You can visit Finn any time you want."

  "That's why I'm here." Her weathered fingers brushed the tears from my face, her skin soft and thin. "I want to help you take care of little Finn during this war. You and Nash don't have parents in your life to help. You need a grandmother to stay with him when you're away. And I need to hold life in my hands."

  A painful knot lodged itself in my throat. "You want to be a grandmother to him?"

  "Only if it's what his parents want."

  "I'd love that. I know Nash would too." Finn looked into my eyes and I almost started crying again. He filled me with so much love and joy, even during a time when death overtook my kingdom. It didn't feel right to hold any happiness in my heart, and yet I refused to deny this precious boy all the joy I wanted him to have. "Finn should have his parents home with him. I didn't want this to happen." I dipped my head, trying to hide from Elara and myself. From the world. "I can't take this happening."

  "If you want his parents home with him then there must be a home. Do what only you and Nash can do. I'll care for this little one when you're away."

  "I can't ask you to do that."

  "I'm begging you to let me." Elara laughed softly, but looked more sad than ever. "This is the best way for me to help our kingdom, and what a beautiful way to do it. I don't want to go home without my son. Not yet."

  Holding Finn with one arm, I slid my hand over the back of Elara's neck and lowered my forehead to hers. "You'll stay. I'll prepare an apartment for you."

  "My grandson will want to stay as well. His sister is married now and it's only him at home."

  "Of course. Rylan is very welcome."

  "Now, you go about your day. Talk with your husband and take the time you need to get back to me."

  "Oh, I'm not sure we need time." I chuckled and bounced Finn when he started to cry again. "It's an incredible gift you're offering."

  Elara smiled. "It's a gift for me as well."

  I kissed her cheek and quietly willed comfort into her heart though I didn't know how to ease such pain. This one woman sparked color back into my world on her own when I struggled to see anything except for what that group of our warriors did to the children.

  I couldn't allow the good in us to slip away.

  After leaving Elara, I asked around until I found Elsie, not surprised to see her training.

  "You know you'll have to return to schooling soon," I said. "Uncle Piercey will have a fit if you get behind in your studies."

  Elsie lowered her bow and perked up when she saw Finn. "Hi, baby," she said, running to him. I allowed her to take him from me, and watched the two siblings, loving how much Elsie adored her little brother, and wondering about all that was in store for them.

  "It looks like we're going to be having company for an extended stay." I gauged Elsie's reaction when I said the next part. "Elara wants to help us with Finn. She and Rylan will move here for now."

  "Rylan?" Elsie straightened. "You mean he'll live here?"

  "For now."

  "Dad has to let me fight him now. This is perfect. We can train together." With Elsie growing more animated, Finn waved his arms and smiled that toothless grin.

  "He's officially training as a warrior. I'm sure he'll be busy."

  The usual zeal Elsie showed for becoming a true warrior didn't light her eyes now, but instead an anger that almost seemed to verge on fear. "Ma, I need to be a warrior-in-training. I'm ready. Look at what is happening in our kingdom. It's time."

  "The training is grueling. Even a year from now, you'll still be very young to start. Your mom and dad feel strongly about you spending the next year continuing your studies and training at home. I feel strongly about it."

  "We're at war," she said with such incredulity that it made me feel like the foolish one. "You can't hold me back anymore."

  I drew my head back. "We're not holding you back. You're a kid still."

  "Does it matter that I'm a child? They'll kill me just the same." She drew Finn closer and patted his back, pain filling her eyes. "Train me or turn my ashes into beads. That's what you're deciding."

  Her words socked me in the gut so hard I leaned forward. I couldn't question whether she understood what she was saying, when she'd just placed the beads of children with us all over memorial hall.

  "I understand why you didn't want me to do it before. I was excited and I wanted it, but it wasn't time. Things are different now. You're trying to save my childhood, but you can't."

  The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  My heartbeat throbbed in my ears in a hot rush of blood. Elsie held her baby brother and looked at me with those knowing eyes. Did she pity me that I had to let her grow up and didn't want to? It felt like it.

  I swallowed hard to steady my voice. "I'll talk with your dad."

  Elsie rocked Finn slightly. "I've had a good childhood, Ma. Don't be sad for me. I'm the daughter of a War Chief and a Prophet. What did you expect?"

  "I've expected it since I met you. It just doesn't make it any easier. It scares me."

  The child in her shone through for a moment. "Me too. I'm so scared, Ma. I don't know if things will be okay."

  I rushed to her and pulled her into a hug, holding her head against my shoulder. "You'll be okay, Elsie. We'll fight with everything we have for you and Finn."

  "I won't be okay if you two aren't."

  My eyes closed as I hugged her.

  By the time Nash met with us, Elsie left for Trish's apartment to eat dinner with her and her husband. We returned to our own with Finn to rest for the night before joining a major battle the next day. I told Nash what Elsie shared with me, much to his dismay.

  "No one will wait for Elsie to keep up," Nash said. "She's in the middle of a growth spurt. This time next year, she'll be in better shape for the trials of training. It still may be too early."

  "That's what I thought, but she made a good point."

  "What about if we train her to get her ready for training? Everyone is too busy to cater to a kid who isn't ready. We can't take time away from the instructors, but I don't want to tell Elsie that. She's barely thirteen."

  "I know. Maybe Leif will train her. He's very good at it. He trained me. I know he'll be busy in battle, but when he's home, I think he'd be willing."

  "I trust Leif to take care of her. He won't do anything to hurt her. We'll talk to him."

  I smiled at the thought of my dear friend training Elsie like he'd trained me when the village took me in.

  "Elara wants to stay here to take care of Finn when we're away. I don't want to leave him, but that's a comfort to me."

  "That's incredibly kind of her."

  "I want to be a good mom to him, but I have to make difficult choices if we're going to give him a safe place to grow up. I can't nurse him if I'm going off to war. I may not be home for days. It's time for me to give that up and rely on the other mothers."

  It'd already been difficult to manage being the mother I wanted to be and the ruler my kingdom needed. My heart couldn't accept what was happening. I didn't want to go to war.

  "Why did this have to happen?" I whispered. "We could all be happy."

  "I'm so sorry, Max." Nash slid his hand over mine as I held Finn. "I don't know how to make any of that better, but I do know you're an amazing mom. Exactly the kind of mom Finn needs."

  I waited for stability and peace before having Finn to give him the childhood he deserved. Now the worst threat fell upon us and the future of kingdom didn't just look uncertain but unlikely. If we fell in war, they may kill my children. I'd never let that happen.

  "I won't let Malach steal Finn's life away." He curled his fingers and kicked his legs lightly, sitting up as I held him. In the next few months he'd sit up alone and then start crawling. It would be so many years before he could fight and defend himself though. He was so helpless and innocent.

  Nash tapped Finn's nose and earned a squealing laugh. The joy made my heart ache for all the children we lost and that my own people committed such horrors.

  "They think you made me weak," I said. "They don't know how strong you have to be to bring a life into this world and love it so fiercely."

  Nash kneaded his fingers into his neck. "They are a very small minority. Don't let their loud voices drown out the people who believe in you."

  "I'm afraid of what things will be like when Finn is older. How could this happen?"

  "He has very good warriors fighting for him."

  I smiled, tears filling my eyes. "Yeah, he does."

  "Let's just enjoy him. We're so lucky to have him alive and well." Nash slipped his finger into our son's hand. "I love you so much, Finn. You're such a good boy." He gazed at me now. "Can you believe he comes from us? The two of us together in one little guy."

  "No, I really can't believe it. I've stared at him for months and still can't stop."

  Nash picked Finn up and tugged me onto his lap so we were both in his arms. He kissed me gently. "We can't let go of this."

  #

  The stranger with the dead eyes almost killed Nash minutes after this newly attained power of his had nearly done the same. He barely survived our search for a healer and by the time I made it back to Leif and Wren, they'd been terrified I died.

  I endured chastisement not from just Leif, but even from Wren. When it was over, we prepared to make the journey back to the valley to report on a fact finding mission we didn't fully accomplish.

  Leif shook his head slowly, eyes on Nash. "He is not coming back with us."

  "He has to," I said. "He's our best shot now. Which is sad because he's shit with his power. He almost killed himself with it."

  Nash rubbed the back of his neck.

  "Why would you help us?" The suspicion dripped from Leif's voice.

  "Because when I trained as a child, I grew up around people with power. I can teach him how to control it." I felt Nash watching me as I lied to my friends. I just couldn't endanger them by sharing these secrets with them.

  Wren looked concerned. "Max, you never told us this."

  "You know there's a lot I can't talk about. I don't want to say more than I have to. Without me, Nash's power is useless, and without him, we can't kill Eskel the Ruthless."

  Leif snorted. "Well, we're leaving him behind at least." He nodded at Rufus.

  The other man cleared his throat and looked away.

  "Rufus comes with us," Nash said. "That's not up for discussion."

  "What is so important about this Rufus?" Leif eyed the other man.

  "What's so important about you?" Nash chuckled. "Should we leave you behind?"

  "Listen here, boy." My friend edged closer to Nash. "I do not trust you or your friend. I won't tolerate any games."

  "Stop." I looked between the two men. "No one likes this situation, but we're all stuck with it."

  The long journey home gave me time to begin training Nash. He needed someone who possessed the ability to suppress his power. Without it, training an unruly power was dangerous.

  "You're terrible at this." I shook my head at the mound of mud on the ground where he lost control of his power, fortunately only attacking the earth. "Why are you so destructive?"

  "Shouldn't you be a better teacher if you trained at the Sacred School?"

  "It's because you're a terrible student."

  Nash hooked his hands on his side, surveying the damage. "I suppose that might be true."

  With every passing day, it seemed harder to keep up my guard with Nash, when Leif insistently reminded me not to trust him. My friend was right. Flatlanders and valley dwellers were enemies and always had been. The way he acted like we could be friends disarmed me.

  One morning, halfway through our journey back home, I sat a table outside of a cabin we paid to rent, trying to think about how to do a better job of keeping my distance. Except Rufus sat across from, talking like we'd known each other forever.

  He paused the conversation, maybe realizing I wasn't responding at all. "This isn't happening, is it?" His finger wagged between the two of us.

  I groaned. "It was never happening."

  His eyes shifted to Nash training in the field. "What about that?"

  My stomach clenched. "Of course, not."

  "Of course not," he repeated with a smirk.

  I glared and then ignored him, watching Nash. The more I saw him wield those blades, the more I reflected on our battle together, until finally late one night, I looked to him with hurt tightening my chest. "The day we met you went easy on me. You could have killed me."

  "I did not go easy on you."

  "I've watched you, Nash. That day, you could have killed me."

  He sighed. "Once you shot me in the arm, I did not hold back. I didn't know how deadly you were with that bow."

  I lowered my head and narrowed my eyes. Humiliation burned hot in my cheeks.

  "Listen." He spoke softly. "I was impressed you made it to me by yourself. I didn't want to kill someone like that."

  "It was a pity fight." My hands itched to grab my bow and arrow and teach him a lesson for ever pitying me.

  "No, not a pity fight. Respect. I wanted to see what you could do. I get bored in that temple."

  "I'm your entertainment?" I shoved his shoulder hard. "You dishonored me by toying with me."

  "Fine. Fight me again. I'll try to kill you this time. Promise."

  "You're infuriating."

  His eyes shifted down for a moment and he smirked. "I just didn't want to kill you, okay? Is that really so awful?"

  "Yes. I was trying to kill you."

  "And you would have if we weren't in close range combat. Why didn't you shoot me as soon as you entered?"

  That stopped me because I hadn't thought about it and I didn't have an answer.

  His smirk grew into a full grin. He murmured. "You didn't want to kill me either. I wonder why."

  What was that supposed to mean? My cheeks burned worse now. "I was surprised to see you by yourself in the temple. Maybe I was also curious. I didn't know how deadly you were with those swords." I'd see how he liked his own words being used against him.

  Nash leaned his forearm against his knee, eyeing me. "That's all?"

  I leaned closer to him, taking his look as a challenge when I understood he was trying to take the upper hand. "That's all."

  My chest tightened at having him look into my eyes while sitting so close now. No looking away. No blinking. I refused to retreat, so I stared right back. He nodded then and let out a warm sigh that hit my cheek. "Alright, then. That's all."

  "That's all for you too?" Why did I ask it? I'd just opened the door for him. Maybe I wanted to open it.

  He held my gaze longer than I thought I could withstand without looking away. "No. Definitely not all." Nash pushed himself to his feet and drifted back a step, looking all too pleased with himself when I froze. "When I saw you walk into that temple, I might not have wanted to kill you, but I did want to fight you. I've wanted to fight you every day since."

  My heart beat wildly.