kukuku.... Interesting tweet, She Guevara. Now prepare yourself...

  I cackle as I type these words. They are meaningless to me. These arguments, just barely coherent enough to aggravate my prey.

  I switch tabs and browse the notifications of one of my many alt accounts.

  Just wonderful, Line Go Up Enjoyer, couldn't have said it better myself! However...

  Was anything I just posted true? I have no fucking idea! I have just been stealing arguments from other people. I have literally done zero fact checking! But these people will still argue with me. They will foolishly try to force their worldview onto someone who seriously couldn't give less of a fuck.

  This talent of mine, how I am able to seamlessly pick up any ideology and pretend it is my own, it is wonderful! I am truly the Political Chamaeleon, a mastermind schemer who can at any time bend language to serve his needs. Just MARVELOUS!

  ...

  Anyways, I'm bored. Guess it's time to play Roblox!

  I hop on Discord and start a call with RUBY. Now I just gotta wait for h-

  *Bloop*

  "Yo, creep. You finally ready to bully toddlers?"

  As usual, she is extremely swift in answering my calls. One of the many benefits of befriending a total loser. She just like me for real.

  "Excuse me, ma'am? You know I was born ready to bully toddlers! Now please, enlighten me of your new toy's capabilities."

  RUBY starts to laugh, and I can instantly tell that this client is gonna be good. It's one of her more devious laughs, and sounds like a cursed mix of Light Yagami and Usada Pekora.

  "I finally did it! I finally cracked the code! Yes, after all this time, I can manipulate the lifeblood of Roblox itself..."

  The lifeblood of Roblox? Wait... no, it couldn't be! I gasp, and the blood drains from my face.

  "I have complete power over robux! With this godly ability, I can freely change any player's robux amount instantaneously."

  I collapse back into my chair. What the fuck?! "No- wha- how? I can understand making a hacked client that affects things client side... but this is just hacking the Roblox servers themselves!"

  "Yeah, I know, I am amazing, but guess what? We don't have time to praise me today. Before they catch on to what we are doing, we have to sow CHAOS!"

  I sink deeper into my chair, and suddenly time seems to slow down. This is... this should be considered going to far, right? If we get caught, we could actually get charged with... something? The smart thing to do here would be to do literally anything other than pick a fight with a billion dollar company, but all I can think about...

  ... is how great it would feel!

  In all my life, I have never experienced a moment like this. I would actually have... power. Yeah, maybe that's a weird way to think of it. Still, how often does the opportunity to fuck over a billion dollar company come around? Fuck up the Roblox economy enough, and it could have a serious impact on their profits. A hack like this would become newsworthy. It would be my only chance in a lifetime to be something. It would be my chance to be infamous!

  Ain't no way am I turning down a chance like that!

  I scoot forward and assume my 'Pro Gamer Posture'. I can feel my face stretching into a massive, devious grin. "RUBY, you are a motherfucking goddess! Send me the motherfucking hacked client!"

  "Finally, some recognition!" I can hear RUBY crack her knuckles. "Alight, let's get this show on the road!"

  Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

  Every moment of the next few hours was pure bliss for me. We ruined the nights of many pay-to-win Roblox whales, distributed robux to the great masses, and bought up every item on the Roblox stock market rip-off.

  The hacks were not limited to robux, either. Invincibility, teleportation, illegal items, and many more hacks let us wreak havoc on many hundreds of unsuspecting young gamers. All throughout Roblox, gaming sessions were ruined.

  And all because I was bored. And because I could.

  ... well, I really shouldn't say 'I'. Acting all cocky just 'cause I happened to know someone really smart would be really fuckin' lame.

  Eventually, though, someone at Roblox finally decided to pull the plug, and the servers went offline.

  It turns out good things just never last forever.

  As the world collapsed into anarchy and chaos, the dark clouds above the valley darkened further and further. Lightning flashed through the sky , illuminating a man standing atop a high mountain, staring me down.

  I scream at the monitor, "Fucking fuck you you fucking piece of shit god fucking damnit!"

  After Roblox went down, we had decided to play some minecraft. For months, we had been playing on a modded minecraft factions server. Slowly, we had been pushing the factions into a great war. It had taken a genius use of our gamer skills, hacked clients, and social engineering. And yet... in a single day...

  One player had ruined it all!

  KeroFrogMan27... while everybody was distracted, one player obtained ultimate power. Now, he had started his own war against the entire server!

  And he was fuckin' winning!

  Over half the bases on the server had already been destroyed by him, and they had been destroyed in a wide variety of ways.

  Nuclear missiles, genetically modified creepers, dinosaurs, super modified mining drills. This player was clearly an expert with mastery over a wide variety of mods.

  Still, he can't keep winning forever! And no way could he beat RUBY's hacked clients! This battle was decided before it even started.

  Before RUBY gets back from the toilet, I will eliminate KeroFrogMan27

  With a jetpack infused jump, I rocket my way towards my sworn enemy.

  Just a few more blocks...

  As KeroFrogMan27 enters the range of my killaura, I activate it!

  Dozens of times per second, my Draconic sword swings. No matter what sort of armor he has on, it is only a matter of time before he dies! But...

  KeroFrogMan27... does nothing. As I swing my sword over and over, he just stands there. Is he AFK?? Or... No, I have to be dealing damage!

  I swing.

  KeroFrogMan27 stands still.

  I swing!

  KeroFrogMan27 stands still.

  I swing I swing I swing I swing I sw-

  ... Huh? What is he talking about? The Draconic sword is the strongest in the modpack.

  I grip my mouse tighter as sweat drips down my forehead. What did he just say?

  Bullshit! There is no blade in this modpack stronger than the Draconic Sword! He can't! It's not possible!!

  I hold my breath as KeroFrogMan27 pulls out his sword.

  ...

  It takes me a second to process, but it is literally just a wooden sword.

  Is this some sort of jo-

  KeroFrogMan27 swings, and instantly destroys the surrounding area, killing me in an instant.

  I blink. After a minute of staring at the YOU ARE DEAD message, I sink back into my chair.

  "Huh."

  So that just happened.

  My... mistake?

  Yeah, ain't no way this guy's IQ is below 200.